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“No?” The questioning answer made Jade smile from her place behind them. Even now, she sometimes answered Jalla’s cryptic questions that way, unsure what the older woman was trying to make her understand.
“You are more than you think, Jade. You have more gifts than you know.”
“Did you see that in your dreams?” the little girl asked, her desperation for it to be true almost heartbreaking.
Jalla nodded. “Someday, you will do more than just see light or touch it. You will
become
the light. That’s what a lucescere does—becomes light and saves us all from darkness.”
“No one can become light, Jalla-Rouge.” Even at age seven, she’d known that basic truth.
“You’ll see, little one. Someday, you’ll see.” Jalla turned her head, her gaze finding Jade now, standing behind the gazebo.
There was something so sad on her face, as if she aged in a second, that Jade couldn’t even be shocked to realize the woman had always known she was there. Then she realized this wasn’t her memory. It wasn’t even her dream. “I don’t understand, Jalla. How is this happening?”
“I’ve given you every tool I can,” Jalla answered, her tone urgent. “It’s time for you to become what you were always meant to be.”
Jade tried to walk closer, but something kept her where she was. She pushed with her hands, but an impenetrable force wouldn’t let her near. She hit it with her fist, frustrated. “I don’t know what that is!”
“Yes you do,
chère
. Become the light.”
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“What?” The gazebo began to fade, as if mist were filling it.
“Become the light.” Jalla’s voice was strong as ever even as the dream drifted away.
Jade opened her eyes, blinking at a darkened room she didn’t recognize. Then she remembered. The night before rushed through her mind, feeling much longer than a few simple hours. One thing was clear, for the first time since arriving in Moonridge, she felt…cold. Confused.
She sat up, surprised to find Rysen missing. To find she missed him. He hadn’t gone far, at least. The door to the bathroom was open, light and steam spilling out. She could hear water pouring over him, crashing to the tiles in heavy streams.
It wasn’t cold in there.
But was she really ready to follow him in?
The seconds ticked away, indecision caused only by the fear that he might turn her away.
Finally, she lifted her hands to the
flos
, the “bowl thing” that held her hair at the back of her head. The gleaming black lacquered piece came off easily once she removed the prong that held it in place. The heavy weight of her braids uncoiled down her back, free. She laid the
flos
on the bed carefully, then, piece by piece, stripped off her clothes. When she came to him, she decided, she needed to do so as herself. Not as a Wolf in Heat. Not as a Sibile.
As the one thing she wished she could be at this moment. His.
Chapter Eleven
Even with the hot water pelting the back of his down-turned head, Pale heard Jade’s first padded step into the bathroom. “You don’t want to be here,” he said, refusing to turn his head and look at her.
Not that he didn’t want her. Dear God, he wanted her. If he hadn’t been running on virtually no sleep the past four days, he wouldn’t have been able to sleep with her lush body pressed against every inch he had to offer her. Some inches decidedly more interested than they were allowed to be. It had taken a while, but he’d eventually drifted off, satisfying himself with the fact that she’d trusted him enough to lie in his arms. The first night of many, he decided as soon as her breaths became even and deep.
The bonding was happening, whether they permitted it or not. He knew Jade could feel it, even if she didn’t yet realize what was changing between them.
Eileen, his foster mother, used to go on and on about what it would be like when it happened to them. Souls becoming one, she’d said, a dreamy look in her eye while she sewed a loose button or fixed someone’s bedraggled doll. He’d always thought her soulmate fantasy was just that, a fantasy for a lonely woman who wanted to believe that she’d know the right person for her when he walked by. That the right man wouldn’t be
able
to walk past.
Bonding was part of the same magic that made them shifters, and it was a gift that each of them would find, 156
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she’d always say. A gift they should look forward to.
She’d never once considered that her girls wouldn’t be safe enough to choose for themselves, or that her boys wouldn’t find a female they were willing to share their lives with.
And that was exactly what mating meant to Wolves.
A lifetime commitment, something humans couldn’t begin to replicate with their mere vows. If it were done right, the way it used to be, the imprinting would go both ways, stamping them both so that the male would be as changed as the female—infertile and impotent without her. Useless in too many ways to count. True mates lived and died together.
For
each other.
He couldn’t say that about himself and Jade. Not yet.
They both had other allegiances. Other responsibilities to people they couldn’t ignore. The bonding wouldn’t be complete until they gave themselves to one another, wholeheartedly, but the connection was there. Growing. They needed each other, physically, emotionally. Rejection on any level was already painful.
Soon they’d be past the point of no return. Sooner if she succeeded in opening that glass shower door.
He turned his head to growl at her.
But if he’d wanted her to leave, he never should have opened his eyes.
Golden Wolf eyes dared him to send her away. Her pointed chin rose high, matching her challenge. He let his gaze course over her, taking in the endless porcelain skin and full curves on display behind the glass. Her hair was mostly free, the shaped braids weaving along her scalp into a roll of plaits that met at the back of her head.
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farther than he could see behind her body. A body that had his straining tighter than before, which he hadn’t thought possible. Lean. Lightly muscled. Faultless skin.
Her breasts were even more tantalizing, knowing what those pouting red tips tasted like. He could spend the rest of his life licking and suckling them and not regret a single day as lost.
At least not until his gaze drifted down the lithe curves of her belly and hips to find the dark curls at her center. His claws extended, scratching grooves into the tiles beneath his hands, imagining his tongue somewhere infinitely better.
“You. Have. To. Leave.” How he managed to get the warning out through his locked vocal cords, he didn’t know, but she didn’t even flinch at the thick rumble of his voice.
“No.” She pulled open the door, stepping inside without permission. Without sense.
The tiles broke, pieces falling to the floor of the shower.
Cool hands lightly touched his back, tentatively, setting his muscles rippling involuntarily under them.
They lifted, briefly, making him grit his teeth, but came back with more confidence. More decisiveness. He felt her mapping the scars she found, tracing them as if her touch could take the old pain away. Maybe one day it could, but that day wasn’t today. Right now, for all their gentleness, her soothing hands felt like a scalding iron on his already burning skin.
“You need me,” she whispered.
He shook his head, though she wasn’t wrong. He did need her. He needed her beneath him, wrapped tight around him. But more than that, he needed her to accept 158
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him. Take him, the same way he would take her. An incomplete mating bond was a torture he could do without.
Her hands moved over him, gliding around his waist.
Soft breasts pressed against his spine, her body curving around him and her cheek to his back. She felt small, but not delicate. Her strength almost seemed to infuse him, radiating from those hands, one at his belly and the other slightly higher, closer to his heart. The room’s light brightened, the same as the city street hours ago, but whatever she was trying to do wasn’t going to help the need ripping through him. Instinct couldn’t be steered.
“This isn’t something you can take away, Jade. Not with your powers.” Just with her hands. Her mouth. Her body and soul…
“I don’t want to take it away. I just want to help.”
He straightened, letting her hands fall away before he turned to face her. Let her see him, see the man and the hunger that she tempted. He made no attempts to hide anything, not his strength, not his nudity nor his desire.
She stared upward, eyes widening with elemental female recognition, but she didn’t falter. Didn’t so much as take a step back. Her back remained straight and her chin set to take anything he intended to throw her way.
Strong. Alpha. Mate.
Alpha. The word resonated in his mind. He’d known he would need a strong counterpart one day, but he never really expected to find one. A female who could lead next to him, who could counter his harshness with a gentle word or touch. But Jade wasn’t a woman he could keep, and he wasn’t a man capable of giving up what belonged to him.
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“
This
isn’t helping.” He tried to gentle his voice, but it was a failed effort from the get-go. Craving ate at him too deep for gentleness, even when her expression clouded with hints of hurt. He fisted his hands to keep from reaching for her. “I have no right to expect anything from you, but I do. It’s instinctive. I expect you to understand what I need from you, but you don’t. I expect you to be here when this case is over, and you won’t be. I expect you to help me to wait for you, until you make your choice. But being rational and being Wolf don’t always go hand in hand. I’m doing the best I can.
Just…you have to help me.”
“I’m
trying
. You won’t let me.” Color filled her cheeks and he noticed he wasn’t the only one with his hands in knots. “Tell me how.”
Some warped bit of honor forced him to answer.
“Don’t tempt me, then push me away. It only makes me chase you harder.”
She scowled. “Do you see me running?”
He snapped his teeth at her, his fangs aching for her.
“You should be.”
She jumped, but instead of leaping out the way she came, she reached for him, bringing her mouth to his in a bruising kiss.
In that instant, his better sense went up in flames.
Wrapping his arms around her, he scooped her up against him, leaning her back into the wall. He couldn’t have let her go if he tried, but she wasn’t trying to get away. If anything, she was trying to get closer, get inside him, her claws sliding over his slick shoulders.
Without conscious thought, he rubbed his cock against her, finding both heaven and hell nestled by her swollen folds. He stroked, the broad head all but gliding 160
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back and forth in an erotic kiss. All it would take was a change in angle and he could thrust inside. Sink into her and claim her. Almost mindless with hunger, he wanted with every ounce of his being to do it. And he would have, if he hadn’t felt a sudden stiffening in her body when he pressed at her entrance.
Opening his eyes, he looked at her, at the passion staining her cheeks but the fear coloring her eyes. She blinked, her breaths coming in desperate heaves, but her arms were definitely locked at his shoulders. She wanted him, would even take him if he pushed, but it wouldn’t be wholehearted. It wouldn’t bind her to him. Not the way he was ready to bind to her.
Damn Sibile and their ruthless dedication to reason and logic. They’d lost their instincts, if they’d ever had any. And they’d stolen her ability to trust in herself, in what she could feel was right without proof.
“Why are you stopping?” Her bottom lip shook, almost like a shiver. Had he sent her into shock, his near possession far too fast, too driven, for her?
“I’m not,” he promised, nipping at her lips lightly.
He released her legs, the silk of her wet limbs sliding down his body a torment that had his cock jumping against her again. Leaving his hands on her hips, he guided her to turn, presenting the round globes of her ass to him. “Not quite.”
She shuddered when he put his hands on it, testing the curve, tempted to drop to his knees and bite it. She quaked, her hands on the wall in front of her, while she muffled a sound he heard clear as day. He pictured her plump lips, no doubt being bitten, a brilliant white fang Dee Tenorio
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creasing the flesh, while she tried to stay silent. Ever a challenge, his little Wolf…
He traced one cheek with the back of his claw, learning its contours, memorizing it, while his other hand curved around her ribs, searching out the lush flesh of her breast. It filled his palm, the hard tip rolling between his fingers. He plucked at it, squeezing it and molding her into the shape of his hand. She moaned, her back arching to push into his hold and her ass rising for him all by itself.
Groaning himself at the invitation, he reached for his erection, directing it between her thighs, fitting tightly in the keyhole-shaped space there. Not inside her, not until she was ready, but close. As close as he could, hoping it was enough to give them both the release they needed. He pulled her hips tighter to his, heard her soft little cry when the head stroked the equally hard little nub of her clit.
“Clamp your legs around me.” He licked at the side of her neck, the pressure in his cock threatening to unman him. Slickened by the honey of her body, it shuttled across her folds and between the firm muscles of her legs effortlessly. He kept the pace slow, caressing, but God alone knew how long he’d manage. Already, he could feel the itch to pound against her rising. “Tighter, Jade.”
She flexed, shifting her legs until they nearly crossed.
And he was lost.
His hips pumped into her hold, hard and fast, both his hands clamping onto her breasts, pulling her torso upright. Over and over he thrust, thoughts a blank canvas of white-hot desire. Drunk on her scent, her feel—the flex of her muscles around him, the slide of her wetness—it was all he could do not to crush her. He almost kept 162