Tempted (34 page)

Ada and Nell hovered in the background for the next twenty-four hours, fetching fresh linen, changing the bed, bringing food to Lord Douglas, which they took away untouched.

Ramsay did all the nursing, all the bathing, all the comforting within his power. Most of the time they were hand-clasped, and gradually it seemed he infused his strength into her. Her lifeblood stopped draining away, her fever abated, and the pain finally stopped racking her body. Tina’s mental anguish, however, did not abate. When she saw the silvery trace of tears upon Ram’s cheeks, her heart constricted. This was her punishment for threatening to abort his child. He would never again ask her to wed him— where was the need? She could not bear to see accusation in his eyes, and she turned to face the wall.

“Tina,” he whispered.

“Leave me,” she begged.

Damaris occupied the window seat in her own chamber. Slowly the spirit of Alexander manifested before her, surrounded by a strong, brilliant light. He would be denied no longer. “Damaris, we must talk. The things I told ye almost sixteen years ago were the truth and nothing but the truth, so help me God. Are ye ready tae believe me?” he demanded.

Damaris stood slowly and reached out a delicate hand to him. “Yes, Alex, I am ready to believe you.”

He enfolded her in his arms. “Never for one instant have I stopped loving ye.” He kissed her teardrops away, then sat down on the window seat and drew her into his lap.

They talked for hours. The years between seemed to fall away until they became as close as they had been on the day the pledged lovers had claimed each other. Damaris mourned the loss of Tina’s babe as if it were her own. “I thought Ram and Tina would have the child that was denied us.”

Alexander’s arm tightened about her. “Things ha’ gone so wrong between them. Let’s pledge tae stay wi’ them till they acknowledge that they love each other.”

“We cannot leave her yet in any case—the danger is too strong.”

“I feel so damned impotent. If only I could communicate
wi’ the living. I could set this mess tae fights an’ justice would be done.”

Damaris laid her hand upon his clenched fist and quoted from the Bible: “The mills of God grind slow, but they grind exceeding small.’”

Ram bathed and shaved for the first time in close to a week and joined the men in the hall to break his fast. Colin had quietly seen to the burial of Malcolm, and Ram was most grateful for his aid. Within the hour, Jock, his first lieutenant, rode in from where he had been awaiting Ram aboard the
Revenge.
“I scented trouble of some sort,” he explained, “and just couldn’t sit there at the mouth of the Doon.”

“There was trouble, all right, but it was personal,” Ram said. “We won’t be able to leave here for a few more days.” He gave no other explanation, and Jock, knowing him so well, expected none. Ram dispatched a message to Angus thanking him for the use of his ships and men and told him that he would not be in residence at Castle Douglas in the borders this winter. He did not commit to paper where he would be, leaving that up to Archibald’s canny common sense.

Before the afternoon shadows had grown long, three separate messengers rode in with letters for Black Ram Douglas. He called his men-at-arms together to give them the grim news. “It seems the English are raiding deeper and deeper into Scotland. I have messages from three different lairds who were raided over the last two days. Fisherton on the coast, and Ochiltree and Cumnock, which are too far inland for my liking.”

Jock’s fears were confirmed. “We saw the beacon lights and suspected raiders, but I had yer orders tae stay hidden.”

“Ye did right tae stay put. If the bastards are raiding this far into Scotland I’ll have tae leave at least a score here tae defend Douglas. Who volunteers?”

Those who responded were mostly men who had women or wives at Douglas. Ram made a mental note to warn the Kennedys. He cursed the circumstances that chained him at the moment. Once he was aboard the
Revenge
, he’d soon put a stop to the bloody raids.

His heart was in his mouth as he climbed the stairs to his chamber. He hadn’t seen her for hours and prayed that she was still on the mend. An obscene curse dropped from his lips when he entered his chamber and found all traces of Tina gone. She must indeed be feeling recovered if she had taken it upon herself to vacate the master bedchamber in favor of Damaris’s room. He threw open the door to find her sitting in the window seat. His heart lifted that she no longer lay abed close to death, but his brows drew together with a hurt look. “So ye no longer need me,” he flung at her.

Tina searched his face anxiously for the least telltale sign of condemnation for losing their baby. She saw none and thought he masked his hatred well.

Ram wasted no time arguing but placed one firm arm about her, the other beneath her knees, and carried her back to their chamber. He knew she had no strength to fight him. He turned back the covers of the freshly made bed and set her down. “We have tae talk.” They said the words in unison.

His eyes softened as they looked at her. “I think that’s the first time we have ever agreed about anything,” he said with a catch in his throat.

“Me first?” she pleaded, her voice still husky from the damage done by the poison.

“Ye first,” he conceded, sitting on the edge of the bed, yet not touching her.

She took a deep wavering breath. She was going to confess all, no matter the cost. “I plotted against you, long before I ever met you. When my youngest brother didn’t return from the raid, I knew you had captured him. The very name Douglas was synonymous with fear and loathing
to me. As you know, I faked a riding accident outside the castle, but you don’t know what was in my heart that day as I lay out in the rain waiting to be discovered. I feared and hated you, and I swore an oath that I would free my brother from the degenerate Douglas or die in the attempt. So you see, from the first moment I laid eyes upon you, you were my sworn enemy.” She closed her eyes for a moment, took another deep breath, and plunged on. “When I saw David’s burns, I placed a curse upon you. It was months later before I admitted the burns were his own fault for setting the fires. The night you came to Doon and single-handedly knocked down my brothers and bested Patrick Hamilton, I conceived a deep loathing for you like nothing I had ever experienced. When you humiliated me, I was such a vain creature, I wanted to kill you for that act alone!”

Ram recalled how courageous she had been to stand up to him when he had just beaten four men. He admired courage more than any other quality. No wonder he’d fallen in love with her!

“My whole family hated the House of Douglas because of Damaris. When our clan chief ordered that my sister Beth must marry you, it almost killed my mother. When my own marriage plans with Patrick Hamilton were called off, my mother begged my father to ask you to take me instead of her favorite. The humiliation I felt at that moment was only surpassed by the humiliation I suffered when I learned my father had to bribe you to take me.”

Ramsay had the decency to flush. His role had been disreputable, to say the least. Tina’s voice was husky now. She was fatigued and reached for every breath. Ram poured her a goblet of honeyed mead and took the precaution of tasting it. Tina’s heart skipped a beat at the gesture. “When you came to offer for me, I learned exactly how deeply you resented me. When you offered a hand-fasting instead of marriage, you were symbolically rubbing dirt in my face.” She hesitated, then decided to hold nothing
back. “I swore, vowed, and pledged I would have my revenge upon you. I knew that somehow I must get such a hold upon you, it would destroy your happiness when I repudiated you. Ada told me there was only one way a woman could gain that sort of hold upon a man. She explained that I did not need to love you, so long as I learned to love sex.” Her lashes swept to her cheeks to hide the tears that started. “When you changed the name of the
Valentina
to
Revenge
, I thought I knew what was in your heart. Our whole relationship has been based upon revenge. Our hatred for each other obliterated any love we might have had. Our child didn’t stand a chance. I shall bear the guilt forever.”

As he covered her hand with his, he felt her tears drop upon it. “Don’t cry, Tina. I cannot bear ye tae shed one more tear.”

She whispered, “The Bleeding Heart of Douglas. I swore it would be your heart that bled, not mine. What a fitting pair we are … Lady Vengeance … Lord Vengeance.”

Ram stiffened. “Ye know?”

She lay back against the pillows in utter exhaustion. Her hair flowed across the bed like a river of fire. Never had she looked so delicate, so vulnerable, so exquisitely beautiful. Ram felt empty, hollow, as if a great hole had been blown in his gut. If there were such a thing as a low point in one’s life, he had just reached his. Without a shadow of a doubt he knew he loved this woman beyond reason, yet all he represented to her was revenge.

It all seemed as inevitable as a Greek tragedy. Like Pandora, the first woman, she had been sent to him as a punishment, and between them they had opened the box that let loose all human misfortunes. Only Hope remained in the box to comfort him in his misery. And if he were being truthful, hope did remain. Tina knew he was Lord Vengeance, yet she had not betrayed him. She claimed that all
she wanted was revenge, yet she had not taken that revenge.

By the time he undressed and slipped in beside her, she was asleep. His lips touched her brow in a featherlight kiss. “I’m here if ye need me,” he murmured.

Tina awoke at first light and lay very still so that she would not disturb Ram. He had thrown off the covers in the night and lay upon his back with his arms stretched above his head. Her eyes roamed over his rugged, animalistic physique. His flat belly, taut rib cage, wide chest, darkly furred, massive shoulders and corded neck bespoke his splendid strength. There was something most attractive and seductive about a man with great strength. His magnificent body bore battle scars, but they only added to his dangerous attraction.

She pushed the covers down to her waist and held out her arm. The contrast in their coloring was marked and had aroused her from the first time he had made love to her in the light. Her fine skin, so smooth and pale, was almost luminescent, while his was like dark leather. Whenever he ran his swarthy hands over her body, she almost screamed with excitement. Her fiery tresses were trapped beneath his body, and she marveled that such opposites existed in the same race. His jaw was like granite, his cheekbones sculpted, his shoulder-length hair was blue-black. She blushed at her own thoughts, which turned her nipples into little spikes, her mons to molten fire. His physical attraction was like a magnet, luring her to touch, to
taste. For the first time she admitted to herself that it was the man, Black Ram Douglas, for whom she cared. It was making love with him, not just making love, that she enjoyed so much.

If her body hungered for him, Tina knew she was well again. She knew she was still very weak, far too weak for the onslaught of Ram’s lovemaking, but she longed to be held, ached to be kissed. Suddenly she realized his pewter eyes were watching her. She drew the covers up to her chin, shy as a virgin. “You never got your turn to talk last night,” she said huskily.

“There was only one thing needed tae be said. Tina, I didn’t poison ye,” he said quietly.

She raised her lashes, her golden eyes seeking his, so that he would believe her words that came from the heart. “Ram, I know you did not.” She licked dry lips, and her lashes swept to her cheeks. “I am so very sorry about the baby. I know the loss is as painful for you as it is for me.”

“Look at me. Ye were in no way tae blame! The poison did it—the poison in the wine that I poured for ye!”

“Ah God, do not blame yourself. You saved my life! I would be dead now if you hadn’t given me all your strength.”

He took her hand and lifted it to his lips. “Can we start afresh? I know we cannot wipe out what has gone before, but I promise ye there is no revenge in my heart. I pray tae God there is none left in yours.”

The lump in her throat almost choked her. She began to cough uncontrollably. Alarmed lest she do more damage to her throat, he jumped from the bed and poured her some mead. He automatically tasted it before lifting it to her lips. His eyes masked his inner feelings. Tina had not denied she still needed to avenge herself. “I have tae leave shortly, but I wouldn’t have a minute’s peace if I left ye here alone just now. I want ye tae rest and regain your strength so ye can travel wi’ me tae the coast. The
Revenge
is hidden at the mouth of the River Doon. When I return
tae the ship, it will give ye a chance tae visit wi’ your family. If they hear rumors ye’ve been poisoned, it will cause more hatred between our clans. I want them to hear about it from yer own lips and see for themselves that ye are recovering.”

“Thank you.” A great relief washed over her. She knew he should have departed a week past and had only stayed to nurse her. She hadn’t expected Ram to wait until she felt strong enough to go with him. “I’ll write them a letter telling them I’m coming home for a visit, if you can spare a man to deliver it.”

He dressed as quickly as he could. The desire to make love to her was ever present. With difficulty he curbed the desire, managing to suppress it just beneath the surface. She was like a fever in his blood, and he knew if he began to kiss her, he would keep her abed for hours.

It had been a blow to his masculinity to learn that she had set out deliberately to learn the secrets of passion and use them to make him obsessed with her. She had more than succeeded. He wondered wildly if he had become addicted to her and if it was possible for him to do without her. He had no intention of finding out. Though probably disreputable, his intention was to make her love him. The challenge was irresistible.

After he had departed the chamber, Tina lay resting, but her every thought was of Ram. She could feel his mouth upon her and longed for its tenderness and its fierceness. Whenever he made love to her, it was beyond discretion, beyond reason His rampant maleness was like an electrical storm, shocking and violent, and she felt she would die if he did not soon make love to her again.

For Tina the day was endless. Alone in the vast bed where Ram’s scent lingered, she recalled in minute detail everything he’d ever said, everything he’d ever done to her She shivered as her skin remembered his touch. She wondered wildly if she loved him. He certainly made her feel secure when he was close by. She felt empty inside and
ached with the need to have him fill her. She might never know his long, thick manroot again. She moaned softly as she remembered the feel of his shaft deep within her and the intense quickening of her breasts when his hot mouth was upon them. Finally she could stand the isolation no longer. Ada helped her bathe and dress, and she went down to the hall, determined to join him for dinner.

The violet shadows beneath her eyes smote him to the heart. He was polite, kind, oversolicitous for her health, but he did not look at her intimately. She longed to have his eyes lick over her curves like a candle flame, but his thoughts were unreadable tonight. Ram urged her to eat from his own plate and she did manage some of the delicious salmon Mr. Burque had baked and a syllabub custard he had prepared especially for her. When she yawned, Ram’s eyes grew concerned. “Ye should be abed. We depart tomorrow.”

“Don’t be silly, Ram. I’ll be able to ride with you tomorrow.”

“Ride? I think not,” he said firmly. “We’ll be taking a dozen wagons. The towns of Ochiltree and Cumnock were raided. The people need everything we can give them.” He patted her hand gently. “There’ll be room in one of the wagons tae make ye a bed. We won’t go tomorrow,” he decided. “I want ye tae rest at least one more day.”

Tina wanted to scream. She knew she couldn’t lie abed again all day. Perhaps if they went fishing. She recalled how much fun they’d had that day long ago, then she realized how selfish she was being. Ram must find food and supplies and winter fodder for the people who were in need. She would pass the time somehow.

Tina spent the day with her ladies packing her trunks. Occasionally she stood at the high windows watching the men load the wagons in the bailey. Ram Douglas was easy to spot even in that company of black-headed Douglas men. He was the key figure in the powerful Douglas clan.
The Earl of Angus was aging and had passed the leadership on to Lord Douglas. Angus had chosen well. Ram was a lodestone to the men. He would be the central figure in any company. He was a rogue, a pirate, a freebooter, a borderer, but by God’s holy grace, he was a man.

Dusk had fallen before Ram came into the hall. Jock and his moss-troopers had not yet returned, and he sensed they had encountered trouble with the English. He would leave in the morning whether they were back or not. He might run into them on his way to the coast, but if not, they knew where to find him.

He felt a pang of disappointment that Tina was not in the hall to greet him. Worry for her creased his brow. He went through to the kitchens to ask Mr. Burque to prepare something to tempt her, then ascended the stairs to the master bedchamber.

Tina stood gazing pensively into the fire. When she turned at his coming, he saw immediately that she had been crying. “Tina?” He was before her in two strides, his heart hammering with apprehension.

She brushed away her tears and tried to smile for him. “I —I just learned about Malcolm. Ada thought you had told me. Why didn’t you?”

“Ye were upset enough, losing the child because the mad old bastard had poisoned the wine. ‘Tis better he died by his own hand than by mine,” he said firmly.

“There have been two deaths, there will be another.” Her golden eyes were liquid with apprehension.

“Superstition,” he said dismissively. “Ye shouldn’t be alone up here brooding. I’ve asked Mr. Burque tae send up some food.”

Ada, carrying a large tray, knocked on the door. Ram opened the door, thanked her, and relieved her of her burden. Alexander and Damaris hovered at the threshold. Alexander reached out a restraining hand to keep Damaris at his side. “We won’t invade their bedchamber,” he said firmly. “Tomorrow they leave again.”

“I must know if they are at each other’s throats,” Damaris protested.

Alex shook his head. “I would never have countenanced the privacy of our bedchamber being invaded, and neither would ye, love.”

Damaris sighed. “You are right of course.”

“If they love each other, they will work through this bad time, as we did.”

“Are you always right, my lord? ‘Tis a wonder your smugness doesn’t choke you,” she teased.

“Sixteen years of tenacity proves my patience, wench, but that’s it, ye’ve had the lot.”

Damaris gave a little scream and flew off, knowing he would pursue.

Ramsay drew two chairs close to the fire. “Sit where ye’ll be warm and comfortable. I’ll serve ye.”

There was a tureen of lobster bisque laced with cream and brandy. Tina thought she had never tasted anything so heavenly. Ram allowed her the pleasure of lifting the silver covers to discover the treasures Mr. Burque had placed there. She uncovered a hot brie cheese sprinkled with herbs and surrounded by crusty fingers of French bread. It was delicious, melting on the tongue like ambrosia. Tina sighed with replete pleasure as Ram dipped in the last piece and fed it to her with his fingers.

When she lifted the next cover, there sat two racks of small spareribs smoked with juniper berries and beech-wood. She had only a token taste and watched Ramsay enjoy the rest. When she uncovered the dessert, it looked too perfect to eat. “Mmm,
chocolat,”
Tina said, pronouncing it exactly as her French chef did. The soft-centered truffles were identical, perfect works of art, each crowned by a gold-tipped cone of chocolate-coated butter cream. She closed her eyes as she bit into the luscious delicacy, then licked her lips with the tip of her tongue. She held one out to Ram, who shook his head. “I insist,” she said playfully, and held it to his lips.

To please her he ate one, then reached for another. “Enticing, mouthwatering seduction. These are sinful—the man is a magician.”

Tina was delighted that he appreciated Mr. Burque’s wizardry with food. Her eyes were brimful of laughter as she watched him savor the exquisite truffles.

Ram’s eyes never left her face. Her tears were all gone. “Are you happy, Tina?” he murmured.

“I’m happy now, this moment,” she told him truthfully.

He knelt before her chair on his knees. “This moment is all we ever have.” His hands went up inside her loose-sleeved bedgown to caress her arms. “There’s one more dish,” he reminded, his dark eyes watching her closely.

“I couldn’t eat another thing,” she protested; nevertheless, she lifted the silver cover from the small dish. She gasped as she saw the emerald and diamond necklace he had hidden there for her to discover. With trembling fingers she lifted the precious stones and the candles, and firelight scattered a thousand tiny rainbows dancing about them. “Oh, Ram, whenever did you buy these for me?”

“The same day I spent a fortune on ye. The day ye played mistress.”

She threw back her head, and her laughter spilled over him. In unison they said, “At least you have a sense of humor.” Suddenly, Tina had a catch in her throat. She lifted the jewels to her neck, but he took them from her, lifted her flaming hair, and clasped it about her throat, then he lifted her and set her down before the mirror. The glittering, dark green fire of the emeralds had surely been designed for a woman with hair of flame. His hands went to her bedgown to remove it, but he knew if he saw her naked loveliness, the fire she ignited in him would flash out of control. This night she needed his strength, not his lust.

In the mirror his dark figure towered above her, strong, all-powerful. In her imagination they made a fanciful tableau. He looked like some mythical avenging god sent to protect her. The tears spilled down her cheeks, and he
swept her up and carried her to the bed. Fiercely he demanded, “Promise me ye will never shed another tear.”

She swallowed hard, gaining control for his sake.

“Promise me!” he insisted.

She nodded and lifted her hand to touch his cheek. “I promise,” she whispered.

He held her close all that night. Somehow he knew that what she needed from him was his strong arms. She clung to him, never loosening her hold even in slumber.

Valentina hated traveling in the wagon while everyone else, including Ada, was mounted. The only thing that prevented her from springing down from the warm nest of the featherbed was the fact that it eased Ram’s mind about her comfort. Whenever he rode alongside her to verify that all was well with her, she forced herself to smile sweetly and curb her fiery temper.