Temporary Father (Welcome To Honesty 1) (5 page)

A few moments later, she heard Brent: “…wouldn’t ask for me if she didn’t have a reason.” The phone scraped across a hard surface. “Beth? What’s up?”

She started crying. The tears surprised her, lodging in her throat and squeezing out of her eyes. “It’s Eli.”

“Did you say Eli? I can’t understand you.”

She wrestled for control. “Eli,” she said. “I think something really is wrong. It’s not just hormones like we talked about the other day.”

“You don’t mean he’s hurt?”

“I’m trying—” To be calm, which was utterly ridiculous. The words spilled out of her. Everything she’d worried about, all the questions he’d palmed off. She ended with Eli’s too-adult response to suicide.

“Wait—wait,” Brent said. “Bring him in. Lisa, we need an appointment for Eli Tully—yes, I know we were closing, but he’s a child and he needs help. We’ll stay open for him.” He turned back to the receiver. “Beth, our first step is a workup, to see if there’s a physical reason for all this.”

“Physical?”

“Let’s start there. It could be something else, but we’ll begin with his physical condition.”

“You know what’s gone on at our house. The divorce. His father never turning up. His home burning down, me dragging him across town and putting him into a school where the kids formed cliques the first time they saw each other at Mommy and Me classes.” She mopped her face with the hem of her shirt. “And he’s too late to fit in.”

“Be sensible. You’re not powerful enough to cause all of Eli’s problems. Your first task is to get him into my office because I doubt he’ll be glad to come.”

“And if that makes it worse?”

“We can’t let him decide. Suicide rates for children in his age group keep rising.” Brent stopped. “If he gets too upset, tell him I’ll come there, but either way, he’s having a physical. The worst that could happen is he’ll be able to use the certificate for sports this summer.”

“Eli’s favorite sport is snowboarding. Even this school doesn’t make snow so the kids can practice.” She switched hands and wiped the sweat off her palm.

He turned away again. “What? Okay. Beth, can you be here at eight-fifteen?”

“Sure.” She looked at her watch. “Thanks, Brent.”

“No need to thank me. Good luck.”

“I’ll take all I can get.”

She set the phone on her desk and squared her shoulders, preparing to face her own child. What if she drove him to act?

She couldn’t think of that. He was more likely to die if she waited and hoped for the best. She went back to his room.

“Eli?”

“Leave me alone. I locked my door.”

“Do you know how many times you locked it when you were a baby?” She’d had bobby pins then. She plunged her hands into her hair, finding nothing. Van would have the right tool around here. He must have left for the airport already or he would have come to investigate the commotion.

Eli opened his door and turned his back on her. “I don’t want you breaking Uncle Van’s house.”

“What do you mean?”

“You get some idea in your head and you won’t let it go.” He sounded a little like his father. Or maybe he was trying to make her mad so she’d leave him alone.

“You and I need to see Dr. Brent. We have an appointment tonight.”

Eli stared, his stillness unnerving. “You’re nuts.”

“I hope so with all my heart.”

No emotion flickered in his eyes, but his mouth curved in half a smile. He’d forgotten to change his expression.

“I’ve been closing my eyes every time I look at you,” Beth said.

“Huh?”

“I should have seen sooner. What’s hurting you, Eli?”

“Don’t talk to me as if I’m a baby. Nothing’s wrong, and your old boyfriend, ‘Doctor Brent,’ isn’t going to poke at me.”

“My old boyfriend? He’s never been that, and he is going to give you a physical if I have to wrestle you all the way to the car and into his office. I’m scared to death of losing you.”

“What the hell difference would it make?”

Beth eyed her son, her heartbeat the only sound she could hear. After her parents had died, she’d taken up swearing as a sword and a shield, and Van had despaired. Finally, his unfailing support had convinced her to let go of the anger.

“Losing you would make every difference.” Choking on tears, she couldn’t finish.

His eyes glittered as he began to cry, too. She didn’t know whether to be afraid or relieved. He’d shown so little emotion since she’d made him come home from Campbell’s.

“You love me too much,” he said. “I don’t know if I can live up to that.”

She wanted to cry for her son’s old, old soul, but she wouldn’t. “I don’t mean to smother you.”

“I’m all you have.”

“No, Eli. I have a life—and so do you. You have years to go to the Olympics or become a physicist—or cure cancer. Can’t you look forward to them?”

After a steady, staring second, he shook his head and a new flood of tears slid, unheeded, down his face. Beth rocked back and forth on her heels.

“Can I hug you?”

He nodded, and she wrapped her arms around
him. She held him loosely until he grabbed her so tight she wheezed as the air left her lungs.

“Can we go see Dr. Brent?” she asked.

He nodded against her T-shirt. “If you change clothes so no one will see I was crying on you.”

“I’ll be right back.”

In her room, she peeled her shirt over her head and held it to her cheek. She kissed the moist spot where her son had cried. She’d fight hell and all its demons for him. He might as well get used to it.

“M
R
. N
IKOLAS
? Can you hear me?” Ron, the IT guy, all but shouted in Aidan’s ear.

“Sorry.” Focused on the lighted windows up at Van’s house, he’d forgotten his top secret help on the phone. “What did I do?”

“You’ve installed the remote access software incorrectly. I can’t see you.”

He looked down at his brand-new, so far useless laptop. “It’s worse than that. I forgot to hit Return so the machine would log me onto the network.”

“You need to do that.”

He jabbed the key.

He’d glimpsed Eli and Beth in town. They’d been crossing the parking lot to visit the Honesty Medical Center while he returned to his car from buying the remote login software from the SuperComputer across the street. How long had they stayed? What had they done?

Would that little boy be okay?

Aidan didn’t want to care. But who could turn his back on a child?

“Hold on, sir. I’m in.” On the monitor, screens began flashing up and down.

“You haven’t mentioned doing this for me, have you?”

“No, sir.”

“It’s not that I’m afraid of my mother.”

“I am, sir.”

Aidan laughed. It felt odd after so much seriousness. “She can’t fire me.”

“She’ll definitely fire me if anyone tells her or your father I’ve been setting you up.”

“I’ll call at night again if I have to speak to you. My parents must have gone home hours ago.” The screens kept coming up and closing. “Imagine how you’d feel if you couldn’t get to your computer, Ron. You’re setting me up to access everything I have at the office?”

“I’ll be a few more minutes. When I’m finished, you’ll need to change your password.”

“I’m making a note.” He stood, his cell phone to his ear. Someone passed in front of a window up on the hill. “Ron?”

“Sir?”

“You don’t need me to do this?”

“No. I can check everything when I finish because I have your login.”

“Thanks.”

“Call me back if you have any problems—but don’t leave a message.”

“No,” Aidan said by way of agreement.

“I’ll give you my private e-mail. Use that if you need me.”

“Thanks,” Aidan said. “Seriously.” He flipped the phone shut. He was outside before he considered the consequences of butting in again. He climbed the hill before he could stop himself. And he rang the doorbell only as he realized he might be imposing on a family in distress.

Footsteps came down the stairs inside. Aidan slipped the phone he was still holding into his back pocket. Beth opened the door. Her face paled, but she smiled and came out, shutting it at her back.

“I’m glad you came,” she said. “I wanted to thank you for telling me about…” She turned around and looked up at the skylight over the door. “But I didn’t want to leave Eli alone.”

“He’s in there?”

“Upstairs, not speaking to me, but he went to the doctor.”

“The tests,” Aidan said.

“You know about those? How do you survive while you wait for the results?”

He rubbed the back of his head. “I pretended nothing was wrong. I’d do it differently if I had another chance.”

“I’m afraid this is my only chance, too, and I don’t know what to do.” She strangled on her own words. “I’m so afraid.”

“Where’s Van?”

“He left tonight. Is something wrong at the cottage? Maybe I can help you.”

“No, Beth. I came up to see about the two of you. I wish you had Van.”

She pressed the heels of her palms to her temples. “Thank you.” With new composure, she let her hands fall to her sides. “But I’m sure we’ll be fine, and you’ve already been kind to us.”

Kind didn’t remotely resemble what he felt, but they were talking intimately because they’d been through similar troubles. “I don’t mean to interfere.”

“Don’t say that. Eli all but admitted something’s wrong. He let me take him to the GP.” She breathed twice, hard. “Brent—he’s our doctor—talked to Eli on his own, but Eli won’t tell me what they said, and then Brent told me it was a good thing we saw him. None of that would have happened if you hadn’t spoken up.”

“I am sorry I scared you and then walked off.”

“You were hurt, too. And I don’t mind being scared if it means he’ll be all right. I’m afraid to leave him alone, but I’m trying to give him room so he knows I trust him.”

She seemed smaller tonight, her cheeks softer. He wanted to hold her. “How long did your doctor say you’d have to wait?”

“Until tomorrow. The next day at the most.” Startling him, she took his hand in both of hers. “Thank you again. He means everything to me.”

Aidan eased his hand free because she was offering gratitude and he needed more. Needed her keenly after living in the strange isolation of Madeline’s illness. Physical contact, especially because he wanted Beth without knowing her, without knowing why, made him back away.

“I understand Eli,” he said, putting her son between them again. “My father started our company, and as he succeeded, he moved us up the ladder, into nicer houses, with more standoffish neighbors. Eventually, the ones like Mr. Jingles’s lady friend, let us know they wanted nothing to do with our new money.”

“Your father was probably trying to give you a better life than he had.”

“I’m not complaining, but I’ve been where Eli is, and it felt as if summer would never come.”

“Every year?” She moved to the porch rail and sat.

“Every year,” he said. “Until I made myself popular—with a Harley and a really cool boat.”

Beth’s confidence returned in a smile that started his heart pumping overtime.

“I’d rather he was sure of himself instead. I barely managed to replace his video games and my laptop. Van gave Eli one of his old ones.”

“Weren’t you insured?” That information was none of his business. He could tell by the change in her wide eyes.

“That’s a long story, and my son and I have
already mired you in our problems.” She pushed her hands down her legs, not knowing she made him ache to follow the slow, graceful progress of her fingers over the curves of her thighs. “Do you want a beer?” she asked.

“A beer?”

“You know, to drink?”

“Sure. No one said I couldn’t.”

“But maybe alcohol is off limits until your doctor tells you it isn’t.” She looked him over as if everything that had happened during his hospital stay was written on him.

“I’ll take that beer.”

“I’ll get two.” She stopped at the front door and looked back, holding it open. “Why are you doing this?”

“Drinking a beer with you?” He knew exactly what she meant.

“Why do you keep helping us?”

“Eli reminded me of Madeline, and I couldn’t walk away.”

She caught his sleeve. Her touch disturbed him, even with the thin material between them. “Eli’s father isn’t like you. Not that I’m comparing,” she said in a hurry. “But I’ve always promised myself I wouldn’t let Campbell stop me from trusting other people. Other men.” She blushed. “I guess I have stopped, though.”

“You don’t know me well enough to trust me,” he said.

Beth’s eyes invited him closer. Her smile made him wonder how soft her lips would feel. It wasn’t serious, this wanting her. He’d recuperate—same as he’d get over the heart attack.

“We know each other too well for people who met last week,” Beth said. And she leaned in and kissed his cheek.

He drowned in her scent. Without thinking, he reached for her. One hand splayed over her back, seeking warmth. With the other, he cupped her chin and turned her face. Her lips were heat and succor and irresistible.

He kissed her once, and leaned back, long enough to see a flash of green in her startled eyes. Then he lowered his head again, taking her mouth without hiding his need.

Sighing, she pushed her hands into his hair. Her mouth opened. She tasted sweeter than hope. So hungry and passionate his legs felt heavy. His body clamored for more, and he staggered with her in his arms, until they reached the rail.

As soon as she felt his arousal, she sprang back. Her mouth still open, still moist.

“I was trying to thank you,” she said. “That wasn’t thank you.”

“I didn’t know I wanted you so much.”

She slid her hair off her shoulders, and he liked watching the play of her fingers on her neck.

He crossed his legs.

“I can’t,” she said. “Eli—he needs me.”

“I need you, too, Beth.”

“But for how long?”

“What?”

She wrapped her arms around her waist. “Any woman hates asking, but I’m a mom whose boy is in trouble. I have to ask, and you have no answer.”

Her bleak expression hurt. He pushed away from the rail and walked down the steps. Behind him, the door opened and closed.