Tempest of Vengeance (27 page)

“I did need it,” Lash groaned, stretching,
and caressing my hip, his fingers rubbing the bear tattoo that
snarled there. “I hadn’t been with another snake since Cin. It
wasn’t even an issue for me anymore back then, when I was so much
older. But ever since we made love in September, I’ve been fighting
the urge to have sex as a snake. The acupuncture held it at bay,
like my desire for human sex. When we began to be lovers a week
ago, the urge came back stronger than ever. Once I had you in my
bed, I couldn’t get to you fast enough, Sar. But I couldn’t stop
looking at you either. I’d waited so long to see you that way,
wanted it so much, imagined it since that first time with you,
dreamed about it for months.”

He reached over and turned my face back to
him so he could kiss me, and then he was molding my body to his,
holding me. “I didn’t think you’d be snake for me,” he admitted
softly. “Not when it came down to it. I thought you staged that
fight so I’d stay away from you, because you knew I wanted you to
do it, and it was easier than telling me you couldn’t bring
yourself to do it, that to let me have you in my other form was too
much to ask.”

“It was so good with you,” I said, kissing
him, then drawing back to look at him. “You felt amazing. It is
true, I was a little afraid to let you coil with me. I didn’t know
if I could do it, but I had to do it. I didn’t want to lose you
over it. And I just couldn’t stand the thought of you being with
someone else, especially that fucking Lyssa.”

“I sure as shit can tell how much like Devlin
you are becoming, even without his blood,” Lash said with a smile.
“Living with him has changed you, that you would admit that to me.”
He stroked me softly. “Terian made it for you?”

“Yes.”

“Will you come to me again like this? I’ll
pay for the potions, if you’ll agree to be snake with me, let me
coil with you. Titus has agreed to make them for me, for us. The
money’s nothing to me.”

I looked at him, uneasy. What if Devlin got
jealous, once he heard how much I liked it? He expected me to tell
him later tonight, I knew. Worse, what if he asked to join us like
this, to be a snake, too, with me?

“Devlin said he didn’t mind,” Lash said
softly, both understanding and not understanding. “Titus can make
them for us, Sar. No one else needs to know that we are lovers in
this way. I won’t tell anyone, if you want this to be a
secret.”

I kissed him softly.
Screw it, it doesn’t
matter. He matters.
“You can tell anyone you like, Lash. And I
will do this for you again, if you’ll agree to kiss me here and
now,” I said, my eyes warm with affection.

Lash grinned and kissed me. “I’d love you,”
he said.

My eyes went wide. His eyes went wide with
shock a second later, when he realized what he’d said, and then he
was speaking fast, trying to cover it. “I meant, I’d love to, Sar.
I always like kissing you—”

“Lash, I know what you meant, and it wasn’t
that,” I said.

Lash looked away from me, and said
nothing.

“You can say it,” I said softly. “It’s okay,
if you do. I—”

“I’m not going to say it!” Lash said loudly,
his voice a hiss through his forming snake fangs. “Not now, not
ever!”

I said nothing, too taken aback to utter a
sound.

“You have enough men that love you,” Lash
snarled. “Devlin’s in love with you. He’s practically obsessed with
you. I’ve seen how you treat him! I’m not going to be like him,
hanging on your every word, hoping you’ll let me touch you when you
have a few spare hours, grateful for the crumbs you throw my
way!”

I got up from the bed before he could finish.
Grabbing an extra shirt of his from the floor, I put it around
myself.
Bastard!
I’d done so much to be with him, to make
him happy, and this was how he felt? I’d given him everything he’d
needed and nothing had changed. I had been stupid to think that
coming to him like this would change anything, that it would get
him to love me, when everything else I’d done for him hadn’t been
able to win his heart. Hadn’t I learned anything, from our fight
yesterday? Who cared what had happened last night? If Lash had to
be drunk to tell me how he really felt, whatever love he felt for
me wasn’t worth it. He wasn’t worth it.

Lash looked up at me defiantly, his eyes
flat, and his fangs bared.

“I love you, Lash,” I said quietly as I
buttoned the shirt, not looking at him. “I did this for you because
of that, because I can’t really be weresnake for you, and I knew
how much you wanted it. But you are right. I should have respected
your wishes and left well enough alone. I should have let Devlin
call Lyssa, and you could have woken up with her, instead of
me.”

Lash said nothing.

“I won’t bother you again, or touch you in
any way beyond friendly,” I said bitterly. “I’m sorry if I hurt
you. When I Oath to Devlin tomorrow, I’ll tell him that you and I
aren’t part of the Oath. That you don’t want to be part of it,
because you don’t want to be with me.”

I went to leave, before the strong charade I
was trying so hard to maintain crumbled under the weight of my
sadness. I got three steps and felt him spin me around to pull me
into his arms to hold me tightly, almost squeezing the life out of
me. “Don’t leave. Stay with me, please,” he hissed softly. “I care
for you, Sar. I want to be with you, to be part of your Oath, if
you want me to be. I’m sorry for what I said yesterday. I know I
hurt you and I’m sorry.”

I stayed silent.

“I’m very glad I woke up to you. I wouldn’t
have wanted to wake up to find I’d given in and been with someone
else. Not Lyssa, not anyone else! I’m glad I finally got to share
my animal side with you, that you enjoyed being with me. It was
better than I imagined it would be, and that’s saying
something—”

“But you don’t love me.”

“You can’t want me to lie to you. So what do
you want me to say?”

“Tell me you could come to love me, in
time.”

“I don’t know,” Lash said finally. “The truth
is, I don’t know. I don’t know much about love, Sar, even though
I’ve lived so long.” He paused. “I know it’s not what you want to
hear. I’m sorry for that, that I can’t just tell you the words. I
want you, and I need you. I like you. And I’ll be faithful to you,
Sar. I won’t be with anyone else, ever, if you’re willing to come
to me like this. Can that be enough for you, at least for now? Can
you give me time?”

I said nothing, just hugged him back.
Maybe
. I’d have to think about it.

“Will you come to me as a snake?” Lash said
hesitantly. “And let me be with you again, like we were today?”

“How often?” I said, sliding my hands up into
his hair.

“I’ll ask Titus. There may be a limit of how
often it is safe for you to become a snake. I don’t want you to do
anything risky. Say once a week?”

“Yes, I will,” I replied, “If you’ll agree to
join us tomorrow, to witness the Oath, and to take a promise from
me, when I give one to Devlin. I don’t want to be without you ever
again. I’m going to promise myself to you, like I’m doing for him,
that we’ll always be lovers. Both as snake and as human. If that is
part of the Oath, he won’t be able to separate us again, ever. If
fact, he’s agreed to do everything in his power to see we are never
separated again.”

“If you want me there, I’ll be there,” he
said in surprise. “Are you sure you want to give me that promise?
You know how I feel about promises, Sar. I’ll hold you to it, and
if you break it, we will be done, this time for good.”

“Yes,” I said emotionally, “If you still want
me that way.”

“You know me well enough not to need me to
answer that,” Lash hissed tenderly. “You know how I feel about
you.”

Did I?
I thought I had. But I’d been
wrong then. Maybe I was wrong now.

No.
I would believe that he meant what
he said. I’d give him time. What did I have to lose?

“I don’t want you to be jealous, watching him
with me. We’ll have to consummate the Oath, after we give it. He’ll
have to drink my blood, and give me his.”

“I’m not a jealous man, usually,” Lash said
in an offhand manner. “At least, I never have been in the past. And
I’m not going to be jealous of Devlin. We are too good of friends,
Sar.”

That’s a blessing.
If it’s
true.

“Come back to my bed,” he said, kissing my
neck. “I’d like to hold you, and sleep a little with you. I’m sorry
we couldn’t cuddle this week, Sar. But the more I was with you, the
more I wanted you, and I had to leave you right after, or risk
being with you over and over and hurting you in the process. My
body was crying out for release in animal form, and the more I was
with you, the worse it got. Dev had told me that you were
considering it, and I wanted to wait for you, and not rush you, but
I couldn’t stay away from you for long, no matter how much I tried.
Every minute felt like it was hours—”

The words were pouring out of him. I was
beginning to think it happened usually right after he had sexual
release. “It’s okay,” I said, kissing him gently, rubbing my cheek
against his moustache and goatee. “I understand now, and I
understood then, too. I was just feeling hurt—”

Lash kissed me gently, running his hands over
me, finally pulling me close. “Come to bed, Sweetness,” he hissed
affectionately. “Let me hold you, so you know you are
cherished.”

I took his hand then, and let him lead me
back to bed.

* * * *

In a few hours, there came the inevitable
knock at the door. Lash got up and opened it, admitting a smiling
Devlin, obviously happy that everything for our “first time” had
gone okay.

“Sar, today is Christmas Eve,” he said. “Your
parents expect you, Elle, Venus and Theoron, don’t they? Is it
tonight or tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow night, yes, and I need to go,” I
answered. “Will you and Lash come with me?”

“You want us to go with you?” Devlin said,
surprised but perceptibly pleased. “Are you sure?”

“Please,” I said. “Theo is going to stop by
with Jenny tonight, plus T and Elle. My mother admitted to me that
she told him that even if he’s leaving me, she still thought of him
as a son, and to stop by. But we can avoid him and Jenny if we go
tomorrow night.”

“We’d be glad to come,” Devlin replied. “Let
me go arrange to have Titus and Rip here to man the fortress, while
we’re gone tomorrow.”

Lash helped me up, and we both got dressed
slowly. I was so exhausted that I’d have gone to bed then and there
if it hadn’t been a holiday. But it was, and nothing mattered more
to me tonight than being with my youngest daughter on her first
Christmas Eve.

* * * *

Christmas Eve at Hayden was simply beautiful.
The decorated tree was sparkling with lights, the snow was swirling
down outside, and I had some of my loved ones about me, if not all
of them. It was nice also to have a semblance of privacy, as the
bears had been instructed to stay in their own quarters on both
Christmas Eve, and Christmas Day.

Lash was so relaxed that night he was almost
a different person. He’d always been kind to Venus, but he was
almost overboard that night, fawning over her, giving her all kinds
of treats, like chocolate and ice cream, letting her ride on his
back as he pretended to be a pony for her. I could see how happy he
was, and it made me feel good, to know in a large part that was
because we were back together now.

Venus was ecstatic, especially when I told
her she could open one of her presents, as was my family’s
tradition on Christmas Eve. I gave it to her, and she tore the
paper to shreds in 2.4 seconds. Then she was shrieking, and holding
up the one present that had taken most of my waking hours to create
in the past month.

I’d long since cut up all of Devlin’s velvet
clothes, and I’d had plenty of velvet, enough for three quilts
really. So I’d stored the rest. But as I’d gone through the
clothes, some had been exceptional in their beauty. Most of these
had been handmade, going by the stitching, and initially had caught
my eye as they had been made for a woman. I’d asked Devlin
tentatively if he minded me saving a few I liked, to alter for
Venus, or for myself. I guessed they might have been Annabelle’s,
though I was surprised velvet could last that long. I hadn’t wanted
him to be hurt, if he saw me wearing some clothes that had belonged
to his long lost love.

Devlin had looked a little sad, but gave his
consent. And out of that idea had grown our daughter’s present: a
miniature ball gown of silvery white velvet, with crystals sewn all
over it, festooned with seed pearls, glass beads, and lace. It was
almost a wedding dress, it was so replete with ornamentation. So
I’d made her a veil to go with it, and Devlin had bought her a
tiara of cut glass crystals that I had attached the veil to.

“It’s so beautiful! Can I put it on now?
Right now?” Venus asked excitedly.

“You can try it on,” I said gently. “But only
to make sure it fits—”

“I want to wear it now!”

I could tell whose daughter she was, if not
by her arrogant expression, by the demanding tone in her lovely
voice. “—but tomorrow you can wear it to see your grandmother and
grandfather. All tomorrow night. Okay?”

“Okay!” Venus agreed, already leading me by
the hand to the nearest bathroom, the one off the kitchen.

I helped her take off the red velvet dress
she was wearing, and slipped the white gown over her head. I could
see at once it was a little too long. But that wouldn’t take too
long to fix, I thought, as I buttoned up the back. It would have
been easier to install a zipper, but the carved pearl buttons were
beautiful, and likely had been made by hand. I fastened the last of
the three, then tied the white sash at the back in a large flouncy
bow, realizing at that moment why the dress was too long.