Tell Me Your Dreams (23 page)

“She said we have to escape from here and kill Father.”

Toni took over. “Morning, Dockie. We’re fine now. Why don’t you let us go?”

Dr. Keller looked into her eyes. There was cold-blooded murder there.

Dr. Otto Lewison sighed. “I’m terribly sorry about what’s happened, Gilbert. Everything was going so well.”

“Right now, I can’t even reach Ashley.”

“I suppose this means having to start the treatment all over.”

Dr. Keller was thoughtful. “Not really, Otto. We’ve arrived at the point where the three alters have gotten to know one another. That was a big breakthrough. The next step was to get them to integrate. I have to find a way to do that.”

“That damned article—”

“It’s fortunate for us that Toni saw that article.”

Otto Lewison looked at him in surprise. “Fortunate?”

“Yes. Because there’s that residual hate in Toni. Now that we know it’s there, we can work on it. I want to try an experiment.
If it works, we’ll be in good shape. If it doesn’t"—he paused and added quietly—"then I think Ashley may have to be confined here for the rest of her life.”

“What do you want to do?”

“I think it’s a bad idea for Ashley’s father to see her again, but I want to hire a national clipping service, and I want them to send me every article that appears about Dr. Patterson.”

Otto Lewison blinked. “What’s the point?”

“I’m going to show them all to Toni. Eventually, her hate has to burn itself out. That way I can monitor it and try to control it.”

“It may take a long time, Gilbert.”

“At least a year, maybe longer. But it’s the only chance Ashley has.”

Five days later Ashley had taken over.

When Dr. Keller walked into the padded cell, Ashley said, “Good morning, Gilbert. I’m sorry that all this happened.”

“I’m glad it did, Ashley. We’re going to get all of our feelings out in the open.” He nodded to the guard to remove the legirons and handcuffs.

Ashley stood up and rubbed her wrists. “That wasn’t very comfortable,” she said. They walked out into the corridor. “Toni’s very angry.”

“Yes, but she’s going to get over it. Here’s my plan…”

There were three or four articles about Dr. Steven Patterson every month. One read: “Dr. Steven Patterson is to wed Victoria Aniston in an elaborate wedding ceremony on Long Island this Friday. Dr. Patterson’s colleagues will fly in to attend…”

Toni was hysterical when Dr. Keller showed the story to her.

“That marriage isn’t going to last long.”

“Why do you say that, Toni?”

“Because he’s going to be dead!”

“Dr. Steven Patterson has resigned from St. John’s Hospital and will head the cardiac staff at Manhattan Methodist Hospital.…”

“So he can rape all the little girls there,” Toni screamed.

“Dr. Steven Patterson received the Lasker Award for his work in medicine and is being honored at the White House.…”

“They should hang the bastard!” Toni yelled.

Gilbert Keller saw to it that Toni received all the articles written about her father. And as time went by, with each new item, Toni’s rage seemed to be diminishing. It was as though her emotions had been worn out. She went from hatred to anger and, finally, to a resigned acceptance.

There was a mention in the real estate section. “Dr. Steven Patterson and his new bride have moved into a home in Manhattan, but they plan to purchase a second home in the Hamptons and will be spending their summers there with their daughter, Katrina.”

Toni started sobbing. “How could he do that to us?”

“Do you feel that that little girl has taken your place, Toni?”

“I don’t know. I’m—I’m confused.”

Another year went by. Ashley had therapy sessions three times a week. Alette painted almost every day, but Toni refused to sing or play the piano.

At Christmas, Dr. Keller showed Toni a new clipping. There was a picture of her father and Victoria and Katrina. The caption read:
THE PATTERSONS CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS IN THE HAMPTONS.

Toni said wistfully, “We used to spend Christmases together. He always gave me wonderful gifts.” She looked at Dr. Keller. “He wasn’t all bad. Aside from the—you know—he was a good father. I think he really loved me.”

It was the first sign of a new breakthrough.

One day, as Dr. Keller passed the recreation room, he heard Toni singing and playing the piano. Surprised, he stepped into the room and watched her. She was completely absorbed in the music.

The next day, Dr. Keller had a session with Toni.

“Your father’s getting older, Toni. How do you think you’ll feel when he dies?”

“I—I don’t want him to die. I know I said a lot of stupid things, but I said them because I was angry with him.”

“You’re not angry anymore?”

She thought about it. “I’m not angry, I’m hurt. I think you were right. I did feel that the little girl was taking my place.” She looked up at Dr. Keller and said, “I was confused. But my father has a right to get on with his life, and Ashley has a right to get on with hers.”

Dr. Keller smiled.
We’re back on track.

The three of them talked to one another freely now.

Dr. Keller said, “Ashley, you needed Toni and Alette because you couldn’t stand the pain. How do you feel about your father now?”

There was a brief silence. She said slowly, “I can never forget what he did to me, but I can forgive him. I want to put the past behind me and start my future.”

“To do that, we must make you all one again. How do you feel about that, Alette?”

Alette said, “If I’m Ashley, can I still go on painting?”

“Of course you can.”

“Well, then, all right.”

“Toni?”

“Will I still be able to sing and play the piano?”

“Yes,” he said.

“Then, why not?”

“Ashley?”

“I’m ready for all of us to be one. I—I want to thank them for helping me when I needed them.”

“My pleasure, luv.”

“Minièra anche,”
Alette said.

It was time for the final step: integration.

“All right. I’m going to hypnotize you now, Ashley. I want you to say good-bye to Toni and Alette.”

Ashley took a deep breath. “Good-bye, Toni. Good-bye, Alette.”

“Good-bye, Ashley.”

“Take care of yourself, Ashley.”

Ten minutes later, Ashley was in a deep hypnotic state. “Ashley, there’s nothing more to be afraid of. All your problems are
behind you. You don’t need anyone to protect you anymore. You’re able to handle your life without help, without shutting out any bad experiences. You’re able to face whatever happens. Do you agree with me?”

“Yes, I do. I’m ready to face the future.”

“Good. Toni?”

There was no answer.

“Toni?”

There was no answer.

“Alette?”

Silence.

“Alette?”

Silence.

“They’re gone, Ashley. You’re whole now and you’re cured.”

He watched Ashley’s face light up.

“You’ll awaken at the count of three. One…two…three…”

Ashley opened her eyes and a beatific smile lit her face. “It—it happened, didn’t it?”

He nodded. “Yes.”

She was ecstatic. “I’m free. Oh, thank you, Gilbert! I feel—I feel as though a terrible dark curtain has been taken away.”

Dr. Keller took her hand. “I can’t tell you how pleased I am. We’ll be doing some more tests over the next few months, but if they turn out as I think they will, well, we’ll be sending you home. I’ll arrange for some outpatient treatment for you wherever you are.”

Ashley nodded, too overcome with emotion to speak.

O
VER
the next few months, Otto Lewison had three psychiatrists examine Ashley. They used hypnotherapy and Sodium Amytal.

“Hello, Ashley. I’m Dr. Montfort, and I need to ask you some questions. How do you feel about yourself?”

“I feel wonderful, Doctor. It’s as though I’ve just gotten over a long illness.”

“Do you think you’re a bad person?”

“No. I know some bad things have happened, but I don’t believe I’m responsible for them.”

“Do you hate anyone?”

“No.”

“What about your father? Do you hate him?”

“I did. I don’t hate him anymore. I don’t think he could help what he did. I just hope he’s all right now.”

“Would you like to see him again?”

“I think it would be better if I didn’t. He has his life. I want to start a new life for myself.”

“Ashley?”

“Yes.”

“I’m Dr. Vaughn. I’d like to have a little chat with you.”

“All right.”

“Do you remember Toni and Alette?”

“Of course. But they’re gone.”

“How do you feel about them?”

“In the beginning, I was terrified, but now I know I needed them. I’m grateful to them.”

“Do you sleep well at night?”

“Now I do, yes.”

“Tell me your dreams.”

“I used to have terrible dreams; something was always chasing me. I thought I was going to be murdered.”

“Do you still have those dreams?”

“Not anymore. My dreams are very peaceful. I see bright colors and smiling people. Last night, I dreamed I was at a ski resort, flying down the slopes. It was wonderful. I don’t mind cold weather at all anymore.”

“How do you feel about your father?”

“I want him to be happy, and I want to be happy.”

“Ashley?”

“Yes.”

“I’m Dr. Hoelterhoff.”

“How do you do, Doctor?”

“They didn’t tell me how beautiful you were. Do you think you’re beautiful?”

“I think I’m attractive”

“I hear that you have a lovely voice. Do you think you do?”

“It’s not a trained voice, but, yes"—she laughed—"I do manage to sing on key.”

“And they tell me you paint. Are you good?”

“For an amateur, I think I’m quite good. Yes.”

He was studying her thoughtfully. “Do you have any problems that you would like to discuss with me?”

“I can’t think of any. I’m treated very well here.”

“How do you feel about leaving here and getting out into the world?”

“I’ve thought a lot about it. It’s scary, but at the same time it’s exciting.”

“Do you think you would be afraid out there?”

“No. I want to build a new life. I’m good with computers. I can’t go back to the company I worked for, but I’m sure I can get a job at another company.”

Dr. Hoelterhoff nodded. “Thank you, Ashley. It was a pleasure talking to you.”

Dr. Montfort, Dr. Vaughn, Dr. Hoelterhoff and Dr. Keller were gathered in Otto Lewison’s office. He was studying their reports. When he finished, he looked up at Dr. Keller and smiled.

“Congratulations,” he said. “These reports are all positive. You’ve done a wonderful job.”

“She’s a wonderful woman. Very special, Otto. I’m glad she’s going to have her life back again.”

“Has she agreed to outpatient treatment when she leaves here?”

“Absolutely.”

Otto Lewison nodded. “Very well. I’ll have the release papers drawn up.” He turned to the other doctors. “Thank you, gentlemen. I appreciate your help.”

T
WO
days later, she was called into Dr. Lewison’s office. Dr. Keller was there. Ashley was to be discharged and would return to her home in Cupertino, where regular therapy and evaluation sessions had been arranged with a court-approved psychiatrist.

Dr. Lewison said, “Well, today’s the day. Are you excited?”

Ashley said, “I’m excited, I’m frightened, I’m—I don’t know. I feel like a bird that’s just been set free. I feel like I’m flying.” Her face was glowing.

“I’m glad you’re leaving, but I’m—I’m going to miss you,” Dr. Keller said.

Ashley took his hand and said warmly, “I’m going to miss you, too. I don’t know how I…how I can ever thank you.” Her eyes filled with tears. “You’ve given me my life back.”

She turned to Dr. Lewison. “When I’m back in California, I’ll get a job at one of the computer plants there. I’ll let you know how it works out and how I get on with the outpatient therapy. I want to make sure that what happened before never happens to me again.”

“I don’t think you have anything to worry about,” Dr. Lewison assured her.

When she left, Dr. Lewison turned to Gilbert Keller. “This makes up for a lot of the ones that didn’t succeed, doesn’t it, Gilbert?”

It was a sunny June day, and as she walked down Madison Avenue in New York City, her radiant smile made people turn back to look at her. She had never been so happy. She thought of the wonderful life ahead of her, and all that she was going to do. There could have been a terrible ending for her, she thought, but this was the happy ending she had prayed for.

She walked into Pennsylvania Station. It was the busiest train station in America, a charmless maze of airless rooms and passages. The station was crowded with people.
And each person has an interesting story to tell,
she thought.
They’re all going to different places, living their own lives, and now, I’m going to live my own life.

She purchased a ticket from one of the machines. Her train was just pulling in.
Serendipity,
she thought.

She boarded the train and took a seat. She was filled with excitement at what was about to happen. The train gave a jerk
and then started picking up speed.
I’m on my way at last.
And as the train headed toward the Hamptons, she began to sing softly:

“All around the mulberry bush,

The monkey chased the weasel.

The monkey thought ’twas all in fun,

Pop! goes the weasel…”