Tell Me Why (5 page)

Chapter Seven

Caleb-

My lips were attached to hers before we even hit the mattress and suddenly it was as if everything inside me had broken free. I didn’t care about anything but her; and it was exactly what I wanted and needed—to lose myself completely.

“Anna,” I moaned her name as I trailed my mouth over her skin, sinking against her neck, licking and sucking. Hands trailing lower, I fumbled with locating the hem of her shirt, my hand slipping beneath. Soft, silky skin met my fingers and I couldn’t help the groan that escaped me as I moved higher, wishing all her clothes would magically disappear so I could see everything, touch
everything.

Her hands locked around my neck, dragging me back to her mouth and I responded eagerly, plunging my tongue inside. She tasted so sweet, much better than anything I’d tasted lately, yet I found myself feeling nearly as drunk—but with passion
, instead of alcohol.

Surprise flooded me when she pushed me away, holding me back at arm
’s length. “We have to stop, Caleb,” she said breathlessly.

“Why?” I asked
; dread filling me as I waited for her answer.

“I lied,” she replied a bit sheepishly
and grimaced.

I set back on my knees. “Lied? About what?” Maybe I’d read everything all wrong. Maybe she didn’t want to be here.

“About the guys. They didn’t go to dinner. They’re in the basement waiting for us to come practice.”

A frustrated sigh escaped me and I shook my head. “Why didn’t you just say so?”

“Because I knew you’d use it as an excuse not to talk to me. I couldn’t take the silence between us anymore.”

“Anna, I’m sorry. I’ve been a jerk and you’ve been forced to take the brunt of it. I haven’t intentionally been trying to hurt you. Things have just been confusing for me right now.” Memories of Jessi and why I’d chosen to avoid Anna pricked at my conscience.

“You know you can tell me anything, right?” The sympathy and concern were back in her eyes.

“Maybe someday,” I replied, knowing it was a lie. I’d never tell her what was tearing me apart inside.

“That’s good enough for me.”

Instantly, the guilt stabbed at me stronger. I simply nodded.

The sound of the front door opening interrupted us and I climbed off the bed as Rick appeared.

“Um . . . You two gonna join us any time soon?” he asked, glancing back and forth between us.

“We were just about to head down,” Anna replied with a smile, climbing off the bed. “I needed to have a small talk with Caleb real quick first.”

Rick grinned as he stared between
the bed and me. “Talking. Is that what they’re calling it these days, bro?” He arched an eyebrow before turning to head out again, his chuckle echoing back.

Glancing at Anna, I saw she was blushing furiously. “You ready for this? You know he’ll tell the others. They’re going to tease us unmercifully.”

“What is
this,
exactly?”

Sighing, I ran my hands through my longish hair, considering what I could actually commit to at the moment. “This,” I paused, “is an experiment.”

“An experiment?” She looked confused, her brow furrowing. “What kind of experiment?”

Moving closer, I reached for her hand and pulled her against me. “I want to see if love really can conquer all.” My lips lightly brushed her forehead as she formed an “oh” with her mouth.

“Wait! Did you just admit that you lo—”

Cutting her off by placing my finger over her mouth, I realized I’d revealed too much. “Shhhh. Let’s just take it one day at a time for now, shall we? There’s no reason to rush.”

Eyes sparkling, she nodded and threw her arms around me, hugging tightly.

Happiness—the first I’d really felt in days—sparked to life inside me. Laughing, I untangled myself from her. “Anna, sweetheart, if we don’t go now
, we aren’t going to make it out the door.”

“That’s fine by me.” She smiled
wickedly.

“Until all the guys show up to see where we are
.” I reminded her with a wink.

“Hmm. That’s true. I guess we will have to finish our talk later.”

I laughed again, twice in as many minutes. Things were looking up. “Oh, I plan on talking to you a lot.”

“Loads of conversations,” she added with a snicker.

“Entire speeches” I picked up my guitar and amp.

A wistful sounding sigh escaped her. “I can’t wait.”

Neither could I.

***

The grin wouldn’t leave my face and the guys were starting to exchange knowing glances between themselves; but I couldn’t bring myself to care. My initial plan had been to play it cool, pretend as if nothing had happened. That flew right out the window. I’d spent the last hour acting like an untried teenage boy aching for his first lay. It didn’t help that I actually felt like one too.

Every time I looked at Anna, listening to her belt her heart out, body swaying rhythmically to the music, I remembered the way she felt beneath me. I wanted her there again. She belonged there.
I could barely focus on what I was playing as I envisioned scenarios like asking her to move in with me when she graduated in a couple of weeks. I wondered what her parents would think about that. They both liked me, but my role had always been that of an older brother. I snorted softly. So much for taking things slow. I’d gone from one end of the spectrum to the other. If I wasn’t going to deny myself everything, then I wanted it all. This had to be love. I’d never felt this way about a girl, ever.

A twist of guilt stabbed me in the gut again. I hated keeping things from Anna
; but I didn’t want to hurt her anymore either.
Maybe that’s my key to salvation,
I rationalized.
I’m not lying to her. I’m protecting her.

“Right there,” Riley spoke up, stopping the rehearsal before I could analyze my idea any further. “Something isn’t jiving in that measure
—like the drum cadence is a bit faster than the guitars. Do you hear it, Caleb?”

“Oh, he’s hearing something all right,” Rick muttered under his breath. “But I doubt it’s that.”

Stix chuckled. “Having a little trouble keeping your head out of your pants today, McCord?”

Anna’s brow furrowed as she stared between us, clueless as to why I was getting ribbed.

“Let’s play it again from the first of the stanza,” I responded, attempting to focus. “Only this time slower.” Snapping my fingers methodically, Stix picked up the tempo as the other instruments filtered in.

“It’s right there,” Anna spoke up loudly. “There’s one too many drum beats. It should be like this.” She started clapping as she sang. “
Something beautiful . . . We could be
.”

She was spot on to the error and Stix quickly adjusted his timing, playing it through twice to get it right
, before we continued on.

“I think the new song sounds great,” Rick said when we were finished. “The chicks are gonna dig it.”

“Maybe one of them will want something beautiful with me,” Stix joked, twirling his sticks and drumming out a punch line cadence.

Riley snorted. “Like you need any more women crawling into your bed. You can’t fit all the ones you currently have in there.”

“Hey, now! Lay off!” Stix complained with a grin. “Besides, we all know Caleb is the one with a line outside his door . . .” Trailing off, he glanced at Anna with a horrified look.

“Hey, Anna,” I said, trying to distract her before Stix’s words could sink in. “Can you carry my guitar back to the loft for me while I grab my amp and cord?” I shot Stix a quelling look and he shrugged apologetically.

“Sure,” she replied, oddly quiet as she took it, not making eye contact. She didn’t wait for me either; instead walking over and pushing the button for the elevator. It arrived almost immediately and she boarded.

“What the hell was that?” I growled after she was gone, rounding on Stix.

“I’m sorry, dude. Really. I wasn’t thinking.”

“That’s obvious,” I fumed as I wound my cord around
my elbow and through my hand.

“Look, Caleb,” Rick broke in. “While we’re all excited you and Anna are hooking up, it’s still new for us. It’s gonna take some getting used to.”

Frustrated, I sighed. “I get that. Just try not to ruin it for me before it even gets the chance to really start. I’m fighting an uphill battle with this as it is.”

“What do you mean?” Riley asked.

“Nothing.” Grabbing my amp, I headed toward the elevator before pausing. “I’m gonna have Anna in my room for a bit tonight. I’d appreciate it if you all could make yourselves scarce and not disturb us.”

I waited for the teasing and catcalls, but wisely, not a word was said. Pushing the button for the elevator to come
back down to the basement, I stepped on as soon as the doors opened.

“Enjoy your talk,” Stix shouted after me with a grin right as the doors swooshed closed. Laughter followed as I began moving upward and I shook my head.

Entering the loft, I didn’t see Anna anywhere. Heading to my bedroom, I found her sitting cross-legged on my bed, once again, my guitar hanging neatly from the hook on the wall.

“You sounded really great tonight,” I complimented her, as I set
the amp down and closed the door.

“How many girls have you slept with?” she
asked, catching me completely off guard.

Another frustrated sigh escaped me and I sat on the bed next to her. “It’s been my experience these kinds of questions never lead to good things.” Girls
get jealous when they hear about previous girls. It wasn’t the way I wanted to start things off.

“If I didn’t want to know, I wouldn’t ask. I’ve always believed couples should be able to talk to each other about anything.”

So, she thought of us as a couple. That was awesome; but I still hesitated to answer her question. “How many guys have you slept with?” This really was something I did
not
want to know, but I thought it might help for her to see how it felt having the tables turned.

“None.” She didn’t look fazed at all.

Damn.
I wasn’t expecting that. “Seriously? You’ve never . . .”

“Had sex?” she finished
my sentence casually, as if she talked about this kind of stuff every day. “No. I haven’t.”

“Wow.” I locked gazes with her. “I had no idea.”

She gave a slight laugh. “Why? Did you think I was the school slut or something?”

“No, but I mean . . . well, look at you! Are guys seriously that blind?”

She laughed in earnest now. “Oh, Caleb. I never said I didn’t have a boyfriend, only that I’d never slept with any of them.”

I didn’t want to hear that either. It was amazing how fast jealousy reared
its ugly head. This was a foreign sensation to me, and I wasn’t entirely sure I liked it.

“So, I imagine you kissed all these guys?” This was like a train wreck. The words kept spilling out before I could stop them.

She appeared to ponder this for a moment before she nodded. “Yep. Pretty sure I kissed all of them.”

“How many is
all
, exactly?” Aliens had taken over my mouth and I couldn’t shut them up.

“You want me to actually count them?”

“Yes. Yes, I do.” Would someone please hit me with a friggin’ tranquilizer dart—like now?

Holding up her hand, she began ticking away on her fingers. My nerves shot higher when she moved from one hand to the other and I felt my own clench in my lap.

“Around ten, maybe. Give or take a few.” She shrugged nonchalantly, as if she didn’t see the volcano that was about to explode out the top of my head.

“Ten? Really? And was that it?” I glanced around the room for some duct tape or something to stuff in my mouth.

“What do you mean?”

“Like it was just kissing, no—”

“Fondling or petting? Yeah, there was some of that too.” Oh, by all that was holy, I was going to need a list of names so I could kill people. How had I fallen down on my self-imposed watch so badly? I thought I’d been doing a fairly successful job of running guys off from both her and Jessi. Apparently not. The green monster inside me growled vehemently and I wondered if this was how girls I’d dated in the past felt.

“So
, spill it. How many have you slept with?” Once again, she threw me off guard.

“That’s classified.” There was no way in hell I was telling her.

“That many, huh?” She bit her lip.

Clenching my teeth, I refused to reply
; afraid some other awful question would jump from my throat.

“Why don’t you want to tell me?”

Swallowing, I groaned. “Because it’s awkward, and I don’t want you to hate me!”

She laughed and glanced at me as if I were a child. “Caleb, you’re in a rock band. I’m not stupid. Do you think I never knew what was going on when your girlfriend would drag you into the bathroom after a show?”