Tell Me No Lies: The Black Orchid, Book 1 (4 page)

I led Rain to the dance floor, brought her close and we began moving to the music. The beat was slow, like a heart just about to give out. The woman singing had a deep, husky voice that unfurled around the dancers. The small dance floor was packed, the mood was sensuous with everyone coupled up, arms wrapped around tightly and barely swaying to the music.

Rain’s arms looped around my neck. My hands rested lightly on the small of her back. She felt so good, so soft against my body, and she smelled sweet and sexy, like violets and honey. I closed my eyes, never wanting the moment to end. We gently swayed to the rhythm without talking. No words were necessary.

Luke and The Group could go to hell. I could this make work, a relationship with her. I had excellent instincts about people honed from years of having to read people correctly the first time or die. She was the one for me. She could stop the darkness from completely taking me over. I just needed to be with her, to see her, to experience her honesty, her sweetness.

And in return, I couldn’t break her heart. I couldn’t hurt her. I couldn’t show her that other side of me. Because once she saw it, once she knew, she’d run screaming from me.

I just had to lie to her. Lie to her about my job, who I was and what I did for a living. Had to make sure the two never mixed. And then, there was my truth. The part of me that was darker and more dangerous than being a killer of bad men.

There would have to be so many lies, so many half-truths. Would it even be worth it? I inhaled the scent of her hair and closed my eyes. Yes, it was worth it. Even if I could only spend minutes or hours with her. That was minutes and hours out of the darkness. When I was with her, I was good.

I felt her pull back and look at me with her sweet golden eyes. She touched my cheek lightly, dragged her fingers in circles. “You’re so quiet. So intense. What are you thinking about?”

I could tell her nothing of my deepest thoughts. Exhaling, I focused on her eyes. “I was just wondering what you see when you look at me.”

Did she see the blackness? Death? Murder? Evil? Sometimes I could barely look at myself in the mirror. How could she bear to look at me?

She pulled back at arms-length and gazed at me for a long moment. “I see a good man. My instincts are usually spot on, especially when it comes to men.”

My heart melted, just a bit. Perhaps she could see the tiny part of me struggling to live. When I looked into her eyes, all I saw reflected there was sincerity. She believed what she was saying. I believed she could save me.

“What else does your intuition tell you about me?” I held my breath, waiting for her to reveal me for the evil, lying bastard I was.

She continued to stare at me, until a tender expression crossed her face. “I think that I could trust my heart with you.” She looked down, her cheeks coloring to a warm pink. “Such a silly thing to say to a man I’ve just met.”

A warm, protective feeling filled my chest. “It’s only silly if the man does not return your feelings. And I do.”

She pressed her face against my chest. “You’re too sweet.”

If you only knew.

I didn’t deserve her, after all the dirt I’d done. But I only held her tighter. Even when the music picked up tempo, we stayed in the same position, swaying to the beat.

“I’m leaving tomorrow,” she whispered to my chest.

I wondered if she could feel my heart pounding. I didn’t want her to leave. I didn’t want to leave. Not yet. We’d only just met. I hadn’t even kissed her lips yet. Something crazy and irrational coiled inside of me.

I wanted to ask her if she believed in love at first sight. I wanted to know if she felt the same weird, crazy feeling inside that I did. But I didn’t. I’d just look stupid.

“I’m meant to go to Spain tomorrow, but I can spare a few days. Can you?”

She turned her head to me, her eyes shimmering in the moonlight. “Maybe. I don’t know. I mean, I’m supposed to go to New York. Registration begins soon. But I’d like to—” Laughter sputtered out of her. “Yes, I can stay. I can do what I want.”

My chest expanded in relief. “I’ll find us a place. Don’t worry, I’ll make all of the arrangements.”

She pulled away from me then. “I’m worried about Charlotte. I should check on her.”

I held her hand, reluctant to let go. “Of course. I’ll meet you in your lobby at 11 a.m.?”

She rose on her toes and planted a soft kiss on my cheek. Satiny flesh pressed against the stubble on my jawline. Bubbles of pleasure lifted in my stomach and sailed through my chest. It felt like nothing I’d ever felt before.

I stood where I was and watched her step onto the elevator. When I saw the elevator moving up, I moved toward the set of glass doors. And saw Luke.

He was sitting in a corner reading a magazine. He stood up, removed his red baseball cap and shoved it into the back pocket of his jeans.

“Aw, you two look so sweet. How was prom night? Did you win prom king? Didja kiss the prom queen?”

I pressed my hand against his chest and pushed him out of the lobby. “What are you doing here, Luke?”

His lips twisted. “What are you doing here?”

I looked around, made sure no one I knew could see me and with both hands shoved him as hard as I could with both hands. Laughing, he stumbled backwards but caught himself.

“Hey! I just wanted to thank you for the gift.”

“What gift?”

“The China doll. She’s staying with me tonight in case you were wondering.”

I wasn’t wondering, but still… “Don’t hurt her, Luke.”

He laughed. “She
wants
me to hurt her. And I will certainly oblige our China doll. But I won’t cause any serious damage if that’s what you mean.”

“Just use a safe word.”

He snorted. “What about you, loverboy?”

“What about me?”

“Do you want the lovely Miss Rain to get hurt?”

“Of course not.” I felt my hands curl into tight fists. “Why? You threatening her?”

He raised his hands in mock surrender. “Calm down, Kael. That’s not what this is. I’m your friend. I’m helping you. Stop thinking with your heart and use your head. You can only bring that girl heartache. Leave her alone.”

“I know what I’m doing.”

“No, you don’t. This will end badly. For you, her or both of you. Stop this now, while everyone is still happy.”

I thought of Rain. Thought of how I felt with her. No. I would not leave her alone. I could do this. I could figure out a way to be with her without anyone getting hurt.

“I got this.”

Luke laughed at me. “Right.”

Chapter Four

He set my bags on the floor.

Kael rented a wood-and-stone bungalow on a secluded stretch of white beach. There was a full kitchen, two bedrooms, a bath with a Jacuzzi tub and a courtyard that ended in an infinity pool with an amazing view of both the ocean and the mountains.

“How did you find this place? It’s amazing.”

He shrugged. “I know a lot of good places.”

“You’ve been here with another…friend?”

He laughed. “No. Nothing like that. This is a first for me. I hope you like it.” He moved around the living room. “Your room is to the left and I will not enter your abode,” he made a silly face, “unless you invite me in.”

I stared at my sandaled feet, hoping he wouldn’t notice me blushing. “Thank you, I appreciate that.”

“Why don’t we change into our suits and hit the beach?”

“Sure.” I turned toward my room and then stopped. “How long did you rent this place for?”

“A week.”

A week. Alone with him for seven days.

* * * * *

She’d rubbed sunblock on my back and shoulders. And now I was returning the favor. Her skin was flawless, except for a smattering of freckles on her right shoulder blade.

I sat behind her. She was barely dressed in a cutout, black one-piece. Her neck was bowed while I admired the graceful lines of her body.

“Guess we both like to work out, huh?”

She giggled. “You noticed? Yeah. Running, Zumba, Pilates, yoga, barre class, weights. I do it all. Mix it up sometimes so I don’t get bored.”

And she works out? “Yeah, we’ll get along fine.”

“What kind of workout do you do?”

“A lot of running, CrossFit, MMA-training, qigong.” I closed the lotion bottle shut, and she turned to look at me. “How is it that some guy hasn’t snapped you up yet?”

She sighed and gazed at the ocean. “I’ve just been focused on school and my career. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve dated, met some really great guys but no one that made me want to change my focus.”

Until now.
I could almost hear the words. Or at least I hoped that’s what she meant. “I don’t want to change your focus, just add some depth to your life.”

“And you? Do you have time for me in your life?”

She gazed at me intently, and there was just no way I could lie about this. “There’s a lot of stress with my job. Sometimes, relationships can complicate matters.”

She looked at me, her amber gaze lingering on my lips. “I don’t want to make things worse for you.” Her voice softened. “Maybe now is just the wrong time for us.”

I pressed my finger to her lips in a
shush
gesture.
God, her lips were soft.
“There may never be a right time for us. We have to take it where we can.”

I wasn’t sure how I looked, but she responded to what she saw in my eyes and on my face. Her eyes widened. Lips parted to reveal pearly white teeth. Soft pink tongue. She was begging to be kissed.

I leaned forward, closed my eyes and kissed her. My tongue outlined her lips. I had to nibble on that succulent bottom lip for a moment and then I plunged inside her mouth, softly. I didn’t want to scare her, so I kissed her, with all the restraint I could muster.

I leaned back and opened my eyes. The things that man made me feel. I touched my lips. He was watching me, worried. I shook my head, still unable to speak. “Nothing is wrong,” I wanted to say. But I couldn’t form the words.

The nearness of him, the smell of him, the touch of him made my head swim, my heart pound and my entire body tingle. It might be bad timing for us, but my body was ready and willing to start something that maybe neither of us could finish.

“Sorry,” he began, his eyes still on my mouth. “I should’ve asked you,” he raised his gaze to my eyes, “if you even wanted me to kiss you.”

Wasn’t it obvious?
I felt like doing a lot more than kissing, and that was not like me. But I only smiled at him. “No, it was sweet. You’re so gentle.”

He looked away from me and stared into the sea. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

What an odd thing to say. Of course he didn’t. But I felt the strange need to comfort him. I touched his thigh gently. “I know. I’m not worried.”

He looked at me, a strange look in his eyes. “Good.” He appeared to relax then. “Good.”

* * * * *

I picked up our towels and walked a step behind her. That kiss had been crazy. Magical.
Fuck.
I’d kissed hundreds of girls, and not once had it ever felt like that. The intensity of my reaction to her freaking scared me. And nothing scared me.

I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to make love to her. I wanted to make her mine, drown her in my dominance until she was gasping for air with one breath and asking for more with the next. I was afraid my kind of love would frighten her, and I had to figure how to do this properly.

She looked over her shoulder at me, tossing her long braid. “Why so quiet?”

I racked my brain for something clever, funny or maybe just honest to say. Nothing came to me. Try as I might, I couldn’t help myself. I was envisioning her writhing on my bed, struggling against the ropes tied tightly around her wrists. I was imagining her screaming against the silk gag in her mouth, cries of pleasure and pain mixed together.

Sick bastard.
I felt my cock move in agreement.

I ignored the sinking feeling in my stomach. She might not be able to handle my kind of love.

Smile firmly in place, I caught up with her. “Surf or turf. Just wondering what’s on the menu for tonight.”

She reached for my hand.

We walked quietly, hand in hand down an abandoned stretch of sand. He was capable of great silences for long stretches of time. I was usually talkative, but I felt comfortable with his reserve. But it made me wonder what he was thinking about.

“We don’t have to go in town tonight for dinner if you’d prefer to be alone.”

At the word
alone
he seemed to pause, inhale, as if I’d said something improper. He gazed at me without speaking.

“Or-rrrr, we can
not
be alone.” I laughed awkwardly.

“There’s a market in town, I thought I could pick up some scallops, rice, pineapple and coconut and make something local.”

“That’s right, you like to cook.” An expectant grin blossomed on his face. He happily kicked a large seashell. “Just when I thought you couldn’t get any more perfect.”

I gave him a sideways glance. “You think I’m perfect?”

He shrugged. “Damn near.”

I sighed. Maybe this could work after all.

I watched him while he slept, lying on his stomach. There’d been nothing but chaste kisses on my forehead. Soft pecks on my cheeks. Not even another simmering, steamy tongue-in-the-mouth kiss like on the beach.

It was almost like he saw me as his sister or something. Except for the way he looked at me when he didn’t think I noticed. Then he looked as if he wanted to devour me. His eyes lingering on my breasts, my hips…

Then nothing. My heart ached. The area between my thighs throbbed. But I remained silent. So did he.

He slept in a pair of soft black pants with a drawstring. And not much else. His torso was bare and I could see the outline of every well-developed muscle in his back, shoulders and biceps. An arm lay over his face, but I knew in repose, despite the powerful build of his body, he looked like an angel.

He stirred in the bed beside me as the sun crept across the sky bringing dreaded light to our room. I say dreaded, because every time the sun rose it meant another day. Another day closer to when we both left the island and each other.

I was afraid. Now that I’d met him, I was actually afraid to leave him. Then, a thought occurred to me.
What if he was waiting for me to make the first move?

I was not completely crazy. I know he felt the same. He hadn’t said it in so many words, but he was here. And he hadn’t touched me. This wasn’t about sex. This was about so much more.

I scooted out of bed and stood up, stretching. Today, we were taking a helicopter to Ochos Rios and visiting a coffee plantation. Jamaica’s Blue Mountain coffee was some of the best coffee in the world, and I couldn’t wait to see where it came from.

I grabbed my clothes and headed for the bathroom.

* * * * *

I’d been awake for an hour when Rain finally left the bed to take a shower. With my arm across my face, I could pretend to be asleep and watch her. A part of me hoped she’d sleep naked, so I could look at her while she slept, but the other part of me, the sane rational part thanked the heavens her body was barely covered in an insubstantial white baby doll nightie.

For the last few days, it had taken the strength of freaking Hercules not to throw her down on the bed, the floor, the table, the sand—wherever we happened to be—and make love to her.

I didn’t want to fuck her, I wanted to make love to her but in my way. And I couldn’t. I couldn’t trust myself to try and have missionary-style, vanilla sex with her either. Because I knew when I saw her naked, when I tasted her wetness, it would be over and the darkness would descend.

I didn’t want that with her. I didn’t want the darkness to be a part of our relationship. Not when she was pure light. I couldn’t do that to her. Or to us. Unfortunately, in order to protect her from myself, I couldn’t touch her. But I wanted to, I needed to. I was pretty sure she wanted more from me. She was probably confused as to why I’d done nothing more than hold her hand and run my fingers through her hair.

The water stopped and I sat up. The door opened and Rain stepped out, wearing nothing but a towel. Her hair was wet and snaked down her back in sensuous curls and waves. Under the covers my cock was at full attention.

“Rain?” I said, afraid, really afraid of what was going to happen next. “Are you going to get dressed?”

She could barely make eye contact with me. “I was thinking, maybe we could just stay in bed today?”

I stood, found my t-shirt and pulled it on. “The helicopter is waiting for us.” I moved around the room, putting space between us.

Her face froze into a smile, wavering on the verge of concern. “You don’t want to, you don’t want…”

I grabbed some clothes and rushed past her to the bathroom. “I’m just going to take a shower.” A cold shower. An icy, freezing Antarctic-cold shower. I kissed her on the cheek, hopefully to prevent her from taking my actions the wrong way, and closed the door behind me. I locked the door, yanked my pants down to my thighs and grabbed my cock jerking it up and down.

I thought about how she looked in her towel, still wet from the shower. And probably wet for me. I closed my eyes, manipulating my cock until waves of pleasure coursed through my body. I tried to think of making sweet, soft, gentle love to her. Us in missionary style, me gently kissing her face, her moaning in ecstasy, but that shit wouldn’t do the trick.

A different image kept interrupting my thoughts like a highjacked television signal. Her on her knees, me behind her with my forearm across her windpipe, slowly pushing the breath from her as I slid my cock inside her wetness, slowly, so gently until she begged for more, and then I switched up and pounded her until she was hoarse from screaming.

Yeah. That’s the image I wanted. I jerked harder until my legs trembled and my knees went weak. In my mind, she came right before she passed out, her body going limp in my embrace. Then I came so hard that I ejaculated across the room.

Jesus-freaking-Christ. What was I, a damned sixteen-year-old kid? When was the last time I jacked off? I cleaned off the mirror, turned on the water and stepped inside.

Ten minutes later she was waiting for me when I opened the bathroom door. Fully dressed, she sat primly on a chair, legs crossed, face blank.

“Rain?” I sat on the bed across from her. I had to say something to her. I know I’d hurt her, and that wouldn’t stand.

She looked up. “Ready to go?”

I placed my hand on her knee. “Not yet. We need to talk. Obviously.”

“Nope, we’re good.” She rose stiffly, made a move for the door.

I grabbed her hand, forced her to stand still. “Let’s talk. Me first.” I gestured toward the chair. “Please.”

She sat down but refused to look me in the eyes.

“You’re beautiful. You’re sexy. You’re smart and there is nothing I want more than to make love to you.”

She looked at me then. “Then why—”

I pressed a finger to her lips. They were like satin and I wanted to push my finger between them and feel the wetness of her mouth. But I didn’t.

“I want to take things slow.”

“But we’re leaving soon, and—”

I pressed my finger to her lips again. They were so moist, I wanted to nibble. I shook the image away. “I’m being respectful, Rain.”

“Oh.” Her face turned pink and she sat down. “You think I’m a slut, don’t you?” She covered her eyes with both hands. “You’re only being a gentleman.”

I removed her hands from her eyes and held them in mine. “That’s not what I meant at all. This is more about me than anything.” And that, at least, was the truth. “I don’t want to screw this up. I’m showing you…I need for you to know that this is about more than a physical attraction. What I want from you, it’s not just your body.”

She leaned toward me. “I know that.”

“I know it’s crazy to talk like this since we just met. I just don’t want us to look back on this time as a vacation fling. When we leave the island, I want to see where this goes.”

A smile spread across her face. “I want that too.” Teeth pressed into the flesh of her lips. “How long do you want to wait?”

“Please believe me, there is absolutely nothing more I want than to make love to you.”

Her eyes, a swirl of gold and rust glistened with unshed tears.

Shit.

“I know, but we’re leaving soon and I just want—I mean, I thought…”

I leaned forward and silenced her with my mouth. I touched her hair lightly, stroking it as I kissed her face, her cheeks, her lips.

I burrowed my nose into her neck and inhaled her sweet scent. My tongue trailed a moist line down to her collarbone. My head swam with sensation and all I wanted to do was pick her up, lay her on the bed and peel her clothes away until she was naked. But I didn’t.