Tell Me a Secret (11 page)

“In case I’m not, I called the coach, told him I’m in Abilene and the roads were closed. I’d say that’s a pretty good excuse.”

“I’m sorry.” She placed slices on each of two plates and passed one to him. She shouldn’t be apologizing. He came on his own, but still, guilt gripped her.

“Not your fault. Well, maybe it is. If you’d answered my calls, I wouldn’t have come.”

“Is that the reason you’re here?”

“Damn it, Maggie. When Sarah told me you’d left town with the weather report calling for ice and then I couldn’t get in touch with you, I thought you could be lying in a ditch somewhere. Do you even have emergency contacts in your purse?”

She washed down a bite of pizza. “Didn’t you say you were going to do better?”

“Oh, yeah. You’re right. I shouldn’t care what happens to you, but I do. Just for my information, who would you call if you had trouble?”

“Marc. I can always call him.”

“Oh. I hadn’t thought of Marc. Yeah, well that’s good to know.”

Hearing Jace say he cared should have made her happy, but instead, it hurt, because she wanted more than his concern. Tears stung her eyes. She had to get away before he noticed. “I’m going upstairs to take a bath, then to bed. You can use Mom’s bathroom and sleep in her room tonight. I put on clean sheets and left towels out for you.”

“Thanks. See you in the morning.”

By the time she made it to the bathroom, her emotions were under control again.
It’s this house. Every time I come here, the old pain floods back
. She’d be glad to sell it, if she could. She’d not found her mother’s will. But once the home sold it would be nothing but a million bad memories.

Just after two in the morning, Maggie woke, freezing. She heard Jace moving around downstairs. Climbing out of bed to investigate, she rubbed her arms for warmth and eased to the landing. When she reached the top stair step, she stopped and watched him pile logs onto the grate. “What are you doing?”

“The power’s off. Since your fireplace is gas, I thought I’d get it going. No need for us to freeze to death.”

She came down and sat on the sofa. Aphrodite joined her. Jace got the wood lit, returned to the bedroom and came out dragging the mattress. He positioned it in front of the fire, then went back and got blankets, rolled one up, laid it in the middle to divide the bed and studied her.

“Come lay down. We can sleep here.”

Her heart kicked up a notch.
What the hell? Every time he’s in this house we sleep together
. “I can sleep on the sofa.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. You’ll be warmer here.”

She surrendered and claimed her side of the bedroll, then stared at the ceiling. He spread a blanket over her and lay on his side.

“Are you still mad at me?”
 

“I’m trying not to be.”

“Tell me a secret. Something you write in those journals, something you’ve never told anybody else.”

“Why?”

“I’ll tell you one, if you tell me one.”

Her mind raced.
Why did he want to play this game?

“Maggie?”

“Okay, you go first.”

“The coach wants to put my name in the draft, but I’m not going to let him.”

She glanced at him. “Why not? Isn’t that what all college players dream of?”

“I love the game. But I’ve already had four concussions. The doc says it’s a big risk.” Jace propped his hands behind his head. “Besides, I’ve been offered a position to coach at Tech and I’m going to take it.”

“What about your mom and dad? Won’t they be disappointed?”

“Not Mom. She worries about me getting injured. Dad, well, he’ll be upset at first, but he’ll get over it. Now, let’s hear your secret.”

“You won’t ever repeat it, right?”

“Right.”

“Swear?”

He laughed. “Damn, this must be a good one. I swear.”

“I saw Sarah and Sam have sex in the laundry room.”

Jace laughed harder.

“It was a mistake. I’d gone out there to get a shirt from the dryer and heard Sam’s voice. Since I wasn’t dressed, I ducked into the closet. I thought Sarah had sent him for something. But she came in right behind him and well—you know the rest.”

“You didn’t tell her?”

“Oh, God, no. I was too embarrassed.”

He wasn’t laughing anymore, but she knew that seductive grin was in place.

“
Now
are you still mad at me?”
 

She closed her eyes and thought of everything she wanted to do to him. She’d start by kissing that grin off his face, next, she’d rip off his shirt. Then his pants. Then…well, she didn’t know what she’d do. She’d never been in bed with a naked man, but she’d be willing to bet he could instruct her.

The cadence of his breathing filled the room and Maggie decided she was glad he was there. “Jace?”

“What?”

“Why do you do it?”

“Do what?”

“Go from girl to girl. My mother was promiscuous because she tried to make up for everything wrong in her life—no relationship with her family, a kid she didn’t want. But you have the most wonderful family in the world. And you have friends—and talent. I don’t understand what you’re trying to compensate for.”

He didn’t say anything, so she said, “You don’t have to answer. I shouldn’t have asked. I just finished telling you to stay out of my business and now I’m butting into yours.”

“It isn’t that I don’t want to answer. It’s—I don’t know the answer. Maybe it’s evolutionary psychology. You know, spill your seeds and all that crap.”

“You’re kidding, right? That theory has to do with finding the best candidate for breeding to produce the best offspring. It isn’t an excuse to screw every female in Texas. Unless you’re saying you want to impregnate women to create a bunch of little football All-American’s?”

“Hell, no. My policy is no glove, no love. I’m saying, could be, men aren’t supposed to be monogamous.”

“You’re speaking for your entire gender?”

“Yeah.”

“So—your dad could have women on the side and that would be okay.”

“No! All right, you’ve made your point. Some men can be happy with one woman.”

“But not you.”

He rolled up on his elbow and rested his face in his hand. “I don’t know how to say this without sounding like a complete jerk. I guess I do it because I can. From the time I was in junior high, girls have thrown themselves at me and all I’ve done is take advantage of it. I’ve never lied to get a girl to sleep with me. I’ve never told one I loved her or promised forever. I don’t even spend the night. They know what to expect from me.” He flopped back down. “Maybe I’ve slept with more than my share, but I don’t consider myself a bad guy. Do you?”

“Does it matter what I think?”

“Yeah.”

“Well then, I think you’re just as emotionally unavailable as I am. I avoid men because I’m afraid I’ll lose my heart, and you go from girl to girl to keep from giving yours away.”

Sometimes what you want the most, you’re better off without.

~Unknown

On Monday, as predicted, the roads were clear by noon. Jace waited with Maggie until Goodwill came to haul the boxes away. Later, headed back to Lubbock, Maggie tried to sort out her emotions.

Deep in thought, she almost missed her exit. Luckily, the giant billboard caught her attention in time.
Sweetwater, Texas~ Home of the World’s Largest Rattlesnake Round-up
. A shiver ran up her spine and back down again. Why anyone wanted to hunt the serpents was a mystery, but flat land, scrub trees, and large rock formations, provided the perfect environment.

She shook her head and went back to thinking about the
snake
following behind. When she exited, he turned, too. In his self-appointed job as her caretaker, he’d insisted they travel along together, a reasonable request, since they were going the same direction.

Whether she wanted to admit it or not, her attraction was more than lust. She was falling in love and had to put a stop to it. She chided herself. Because after years of being unloved and unwanted, she’d fallen for a man who’d never commit.

The crazy part was she believed he cared for her and wanted to help find her dad, but he had no idea how that affected her. She glanced in the rear-view mirror at the cat’s crate. “I’m his project. He’s taken me as his own personal mission. Well, I don’t need to be saved. Not by Jace Sloan. Do I?”

Dydee cocked her head to one side as if she understood.

“That’s right. Until now, I’ve done just fine without him and as soon as I’m finished tutoring, I’ll still be fine again.”
 

Another idea came to mind. If there was a boyfriend in the picture, Jace might see things differently. The plan could be twofold. She could get over him and he could stop feeling responsible for her.

A few weeks before the study sessions, Zach Roberts asked her out. She considered it, but decided dating a co-worker would be awkward and he was ten years older, too much of a gap in her opinion. But now, she needed to rethink his offer. And besides, a doctor wasn’t a bad catch.

“Dydee, don’t go to sleep. You need to advise me about dating a man from the hospital. He’s handsome enough, even though I’m not attracted to blond, brown-eyed men. He doesn’t have much personality, but we have medicine in common. Should I?”

The cat stretched and settled back.

Maggie switched her eyes back to the road. “Well, you’re no help.”

Her brain worked overtime. She didn’t remember passing through Snyder. Of course, the town didn’t offer much other than a small museum and golf course. When she reached the Post city limit sign, in forty-five more minutes she’d be home.

She should text Jace and say she wanted to stop when they got to Slaton. Their bakery was one of the best in West Texas. The thought of their fried pies made her mouth water. No, the less interaction, the better.

A car whizzed past and almost sideswiped her.
Stupid driver
. She fiddled with the radio, found a country station and thought of Dr. Roberts again. He was stable, focused on his career and future, on the fast track to Chief of Staff. She sighed. He was boring and didn’t have an ounce of passion for anything but work. Well, you can’t have everything.

She twirled a lock of hair around her finger. If she could fall in love with the doctor, she’d have a big house, fancy car, plenty of money. A country club membership would be necessary. He’d insist on a house with a pool, because swimming provided the best form of exercise. He’d be faithful. She’d have no worries in that department. A definite plus. A smile played at the corners of her lips when she considered what color Corvette she’d choose.
Red
.
 

But in the bedroom, she imagined he’d fold his clothes before he got down to business.

A song on the radio got her attention.
My Last Day
. Damn, that’s what she wanted. Jace to change and love her until his last day, like the lyrics said. She shook her head. It’s just a song. A four minute fairy tale set to music. Funny, four minutes were about as long as his relationships lasted.

Pushing the joke from her mind she summarized the points concerning Zach. On the plus side: Doctor, stable, faithful. On the minus: boring. She made her decision. She’d go out with him. You can’t judge a book by its cover. Perhaps, under that professionalism beat a heart so hot with passion he could set her world on fire. Jace could do it with a look.

Of course, right now, career came first, but she wanted a family more than anything. Besides, how many girls her age were still virgins? It was time she changed that status. She tried to imagine sex with Zach, but couldn’t do it. Each time, Jace’s face appeared. Damn.

For the remainder of the trip she continued to consider the reasons why she should or shouldn’t date Zack. Regardless of the lack of attraction, dating him was the only plan she could come up with to get Jace out of her head. Arriving home, she wheeled into her drive and Jace parked on the street.

“Let me take your luggage.”

Tired of arguing, she agreed. He picked up the suitcase in one hand and Aphrodite’s crate in the other. Once inside, he looked at her. “Do you still want me to visit the children’s ward?”

“Sure. They’d love to meet you. You’re a local football celebrity.”

“Okay. What about a week from Sunday? We have an away game this week, but we’ll play at home the next weekend.”

He deposited the luggage and crate on the floor. “So—I’ll see you Wednesday night?”

“Wednesday night? Oh, yeah, our study night. Sure.”

He turned to go and she breathed a sigh of relief, but then he stopped and wheeled around to face her again. “Why don’t I stay and get Chinese? Are you hungry? I am.”

She rubbed the back of her neck. Every bone ached. She’d spent a restless night, waking every hour to make sure she didn’t get on his side of the bed.

If I say no, will he rush back to Jessica?
The lack of confidence she’d experienced the past two days multiplied. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Jace advance. Within seconds, he stood behind her. The closeness made her dizzy.

“Stiff from sleeping on the floor?”

“A little.”

He put his hands on her shoulders. She should stop him. But the way his fingers dug into her skin felt so good, she couldn’t. She closed her eyes and bowed her head. Gathering her wits, she forced out the words. “Okay, that’s enough. Thanks.”