Tell Him About It (11 page)

“You’re probably wondering why I’m here,” she remarked, giving Sara her third best smile – which was still more than enough to continue to melt any tension in the air.

“It had crossed my mind,” Sara replied with understatement, feeling a bit more at ease in the presence of the (powerfully) attractive socialite – Adam Cooper’s ex-wife.

“Partly I’m here due to a sense of curiosity. I had a long conversation with Adam over the phone last night. He’s still in New York, although he flies back tomorrow. By the end of the conversation I knew that he still cared about me, but he’s no longer in love with me... We’ve needed to have the conversation that we had last night for a long time. I tried to get through to him last week but he wasn’t answering my calls... I’m not sure how much you already know but we had a whirlwind romance...Yet there was a gentleness to the relationship also. We became friends as much as lovers. At the time I had developed a burgeoning drug problem. Adam took advice from professionals, as did I, but he more than anyone helped get me clean – and I’ll always be grateful to him for that. The likes of The Priory are for people who want to get publicity, rather than get well. Drugs cost less than the fees they charge...

“For all of the passion that we shared the thing I miss most is how Adam could make me laugh... We used to spend our days together, consciously living out of the spotlight. Adam would write in the morning and then we would have lunch, go for a walk or play tennis. Or I would drag him along on a shopping trip... Occasionally I would drag him along to a party too, which he would protest about but then charm anyone he spoke to. Most of the people I know had never encountered someone genuinely intelligent and gallant before...

“We occasionally would visit his family. They’re wonderful by the way, if you haven’t already met them. Adam’s still just a boy from South London at heart who loves his Mum and enjoys nothing more than going for a drink down the pub... He encouraged me to pursue acting. He had his writing and he wanted for me to have a similar purpose and passion in my life. I invited him to join me when I went over to Hollywood for a month but he had a deadline to meet and I knew how ill-suited he’d be to Los Angeles... I slept with a producer... It was stupid and it was wrong... Adam found out and left me...”

Victoria here took a sip of water. It was the first time that Sara thought that she might break down, when recounting her relationship with Adam. For once her pristine features appeared strained, pained.

“I used to think that people acting unfaithfully was the most natural thing in the world. Perhaps I still do. But I now know that it doesn’t make it right... I was in denial when I came back to London. I tried to blame Adam, for encouraging me to pursue a career in acting and go off to Hollywood. The whole town is greased by money and sex – and they didn’t want my money... I hated him for leaving me. He came back briefly, when I said that I was worried I’d return to taking drugs. I also lied and said I was pregnant... But once he knew the truth he left again... And I was angry at him again... The happiest day of my life was when Adam proposed. The saddest day of my life was when I signed my divorce papers... My agent and publicist said I needed to use my marriage, or rather divorce, as a selling point. But I cannot blame them entirely for creating the narrative that I was a wronged woman. I wanted to take things out on Adam for leaving me... I don’t particularly like parts of my life at the moment Sara... In order to play the fame game – and keep the ‘Victoria Glass brand in the spotlight’ as my agent says – I’ve wrongly insinuated that Adam drank too much and was unfaithful while we were married.

“I came here today to tell you that my sins do not belong to Adam. He never cheated on me, no matter what I might have alleged in the press. He doesn’t even cheat when it comes to playing Scrabble... He’s the best of men, if you haven’t already figured that out... Making other people happy makes him happy. What I want to say is, give him the chance to make you happy... Please don’t hurt him. I’ve hurt him enough... Finally, one of the reasons Adam called me last night was to let me know that he was hopefully going to start seeing someone again. He asked me not to comment on any story that might come out in the press, and to stoke any fire... He values his privacy and doesn’t want the tabloids door stepping you either. I want to let you know that I won’t say anything. I’m also no longer going to speak to the press about Adam or my marriage...”

There were times when Sara felt that the scene was surreal, of having Victoria Glass sit in her living room and lay bare her heart. She could have taped the conversation, sold the story to
The Daily Mail
and retired. Yet Sara was too often gripped by what was being said to have time to think about the strangeness of it all. She also couldn’t help but like the witty, dazzling yet vulnerable woman. In another world they might have even become friends, she speculated afterwards. Adam has good taste in women it seems, she wryly thought to herself. Victoria still clearly missed him. In some ways, Sara believed, she loved him more now than when they had been married. But it was over. She’d eroded his trust and admiration. Victoria Glass was now in a state of mourning for Adam, rather than deluding herself that she could bring their relationship back to life.

One of the reasons why Victoria had desired to meet Sara, that she was less forthright about, was that she wanted to divine Sara’s feelings for Adam. And what was it about the publicist that had captured his heart? But when she went fishing for answers Sara didn’t bite. But how could Sara articulate her feelings for Adam when she had yet to fully understand them herself? She remained coy about the state of her relationship, or non-relationship.

Victoria stayed for forty-five minutes, but then she heard her driver sound the horn outside. She again thanked Sara for seeing her on such short notice – and then apologised that she had to leave so abruptly. But she had an important meeting to attend across town. She needed to help re-design the shape of the bottle for her perfume.

20.

Sara slowly walked back into the living room after Victoria Glass’ car pulled away. She slumped down on the sofa. She was in a state of shock, as though someone had just told her that she’d just won the lottery or that two plus two really equalled five. The afternoon sun shone through the window but Sara still felt in the dark. There were still more questions than answers. Her head – and heart – were fit to bursting after hearing what her unexpected guest had to say. She struggled to take everything in.

Shortly after Victoria left Sara opened an email from Polly. She mentioned how Victoria Glass’ PA had called her and asked for Sara’s number. Polly also said how she had just checked her Facebook and was sorry to hear the news that Sara had broken up with her boyfriend.

When Rosie returned home from her work Sara finally got the chance to pour her feelings out, along with pouring out a large glass of wine. Rosie sat open-mouthed, popping a Malteser into it every now and then, as her flatmate told her about her day. Rosie looked on in awe and disbelief almost at the chair that Victoria Glass had sat in, imagining perhaps that she was still present. She could still smell her criminally expensive perfume. She was even tempted to pitch a story to her editor, “Victoria Glass Comes To Clapham”, but rightly thought better of it.

After being somewhat dumbfounded by her friend’s eventful afternoon Rosie did provide some potential answers to questions Sara had.

“How comes he hasn’t told me about how he feels?” Sara asked, wrinkling up her face and squeezing her hands into two small fists in frustration and confusion.

“From what you’ve said it seems that he’s quite old-fashioned. Maybe he wants to speak to you face to face.”

“But it’s now been well over a week since I’ve last heard from him. What’s changed?”

Sara here came up with an answer to her own question. Around a fortnight ago she had set up a Facebook and Twitter page for her author – programming things so that he could follow her pages and news too. Had Adam checked his feeds and discovered that Sara was single again?

“The question you should really be asking yourself is not how comes things have changed, but what are you going now to do about? Do you like him?”

“He could be the best thing that ever, or never, happens to me Rosie... He makes me feel that anything is possible... I’m not sure if I would be applying for jobs, writing a novel or getting in touch with Carly again without him... I can’t sleep properly, thinking about what could happen between us and what I might have missed out on... But the person I want to get close to is three thousand miles away... Adam knows everyone. Nigh on everyone he meets likes him. But I know he’s lonely. He needs someone and I want to be that someone, who kisses the tears away... He saw and did things in Afghanistan that still haunt him, I think... This is not just about giving him a chance. It’s about giving me, us, a chance... We’re forever reading magazine articles or watching TV programmes telling us how important money and sex are... Adam reminds me of how important friendship and decency are... And in being sweet I think he’s as sexy as hell, or chocolate... But what do you think?” Sara finally asked her friend, drawing breath and reaching for the last but one Malteser in the box.

“I think that every time you say his name your face lights up. And sooner or later you’re going to have to find someone else to play Scrabble with, because I’m getting tired of you beating me all the time. I also think you should invite him over as quickly as you can, while the flat still looks as tidy as it does. But most of all Sara you shouldn’t be telling me about how you feel. Tell him about it!”

And she did.

21.

Two weeks later.

Morning. Petals of golden sunlight sparkled all across Lake Windermere. Gleaming white sailboats glided over the cool blue water beneath a serene, cloudless sky. Rich greens and browns, from the trees and grasslands, framed the landscape.

Sara soaked up the picturesque scene outside her hotel window. The birdsong from the balcony had woken her. She breathed in the scent of wildflowers and sighed in pleasure, or rather contentment.

The only thing between them now was the material of her silk pyjamas as Sara lay next to a sleeping Adam, her leg entwined with his beneath the covers. They had a day planned, of sailing, visiting Dove Cottage and buying presents for friends and family. Sara already knew what she wanted to buy her sister and her imminent niece or nephew. But Sara wanted nothing more now that to just stay in bed with the man she loved.

Yes, loved.

*

The morning after Sara’s unexpected encounter with Victoria Glass she had been determined to speak to Adam. To tell him how she felt. Sara called Polly to find out from her contact at Adam’s literary agency when he was due to fly in from New York. Before Polly could get back to Sara however Adam had called her from Heathrow. He had been nervous, but equally determined to speak to her. Adam had asked if Sara was free to meet that afternoon.

They met in Battersea Park, by the bandstand. Adam asked if Sara would like to take a turn around the park. They walked and talked. Adam explained how he had not kept in touch because he had recently been the victim of infidelity – and did not wish to be the cause of it also. He said that she seemed to be happy with her boyfriend, when she spoke about him when they were on tour. Sara replied that, if she seemed happy, it was because she was with him rather than thinking about Simon. By the end of their first circuit of the park they were holding hands.

It was only after reading the message which had come up on his author’s Facebook page that Adam had dared to hope. Sara here told Adam about his visit from his ex-wife, which he had been unaware of. On another day Adam would have been upset with Victoria for interfering, but he realised that she may have acted as an unwitting, or witting, matchmaker. Besides, Victoria was his past. He had the future to look forward to, with
her
.

“But what about New York?”

“I’m moving back to London. There was always something missing in my life there.”

“What was it?”

“You... How about we both try and make a leap of faith – and catch each other?”

By the end of their second circuit of the park they were kissing.

*

Sara rested her palm on Adam’s bare chest as he slept, and she snuggled up to him. She smiled, as if sharing a joke with herself, as she realised that their heartbeats were in sync.

Sometimes sad songs turn in to love songs.

Part of her wanted to wake him up, hear his voice, kiss him, caress him and make love. But he looked so content sleeping that she let him rest. They had been up late last night – not playing Scrabble. She reached over to the bedside table and switched on her iPad, which was sitting on top of her copy of
Lyrical Ballads
.

She checked her messages. She had just been sent her first batch of submissions, which she would need to read over before starting her new job as an editorial assistant at Falcon Publications next month. Polly had sent her an email to say that she had arranged her leaving drinks for next Friday. Sara received an email from Charlotte Hurst congratulating her on her new job. Charlotte added that she knew that Sara had it in her to flourish, which meant a lot to the soon to be editorial assistant. After dropping the bombshell that she was leaving Bradley House even Margaret Duvall called her into her office and wished Sara well, in as sincere and heartfelt manner as the gnarled publicity director could manage. Mercifully (for both of them) the exit interview didn’t last too long, as
Cruella
was dying for a cigarette at the time. Julian Smythe was nowhere to be seen on the day that Sara announced she was leaving. He had been called into a long meeting with Martin Tweed, for some unofficial re-training. Her sister sent her a quick message to say that she and her husband Gordon were fine with the proposed date for her and Adam to come around for supper.