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Authors: Norah McClintock

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“I ran over to where Phil was,” I said. “He was breathing, but he was also making a sort of gurgling sound. He looked at me. But I just stood there. I couldn't move. He had his keys in his hands, and I saw that picture of my brother and thought about Phil, with his display case full of swimming medals and ribbons, just sitting in that boat while Jamie drowned.” I also thought about his face when he told my mother that he
had frozen. I thought about him licking his lips when he told the paramedics and the cops the same thing. I thought about him waving that key chain under everyone's nose and telling them his son had drowned. I remembered all the free beers he got when he told people about Jamie. “Then Phil stopped making that noise. He stopped everything. I grabbed his keys and I ran. I broke the chain and took Jamie's picture, and I threw the keys away. Then I went home.”

Detective Antonelli was quiet for a minute. Then he said, “The pathologist said he was shot through the heart, David, and that he died within a minute or two. He said that even if the paramedics had arrived in three minutes, they wouldn't have been able to do anything. He would have been dead already.”

It took them nearly a month, but they finally caught the guy who shot Phil. They did it based on my description, and when
they brought him in, they asked me to identify him. I don't have to go to court because the guy made a deal with the prosecutor. He got life for second-degree murder but is eligible for parole in fifteen years, which means he could get out in eight. My mother cried when she heard that.

Jack doesn't come around as much as he used to, and my mother doesn't talk about him. I think she's mad at him for telling me about my dad. I still haven't decided what to do about him. I'm curious, but not that curious. After all, it's not like he ever came looking for me.

And about Phil—I tell myself I didn't do anything wrong. Phil would have died anyway. But I didn't know that at the time. At the time, I just looked at him and remembered him licking his lips and remembered his face going blank when he told my mother there was nothing he could have done about Jamie. That's why I didn't call an ambulance for him. That's why I didn't do anything except stand
there. In those few minutes, I did what Phil had done. I
became
Phil. I hate myself for that. But I know that I will never be Phil again. Not in a million years.

My mother still doesn't know what she's going to do without him—or
with
me.

Norah McClintock
has been writing compelling fiction for years.
Tell
is her second Orca Soundings novel.
Snitch
, an ALA Popular Paperback, was published in 2005.

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