Tell (16 page)

“Hey,” she answered, pulling her pillow off of his shoulder.  “Sorry I fell asleep on you.”

He shook his head.  “It’s fine.”

Melody turned her head away from him to wipe at her mouth with the back of her hand.  She felt thankful when her skin came away dry.  She and Lucas were friends, but he did not need to know that sometimes she drooled in her sleep.  The pillow was mercifully dry, too.  “So how close are we to home?” she asked, keeping her voice hushed.

“I think about twenty minutes,” he responded.

The two sat in silence for a few moments.  Melody stared out the window, watching the lights pass by.

“I have something to ask you,” he said suddenly.

Melody felt her heartbeat speed up as she turned to look at him.  He was staring straight forward, not meeting her eyes, and even if he did turn toward her, it was so dark she would not be able to read his expression anyway.  But she had begun to notice that he was often looking at her, even if they were not engaged in conversation.  And she thought that she might know what he wanted to ask her.  “Yes?” she asked quietly.

Lucas drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly.  “What do you call a person with one leg?”

Melody blinked.  “Um, what?”

He turned to her, and for a second, his brown eyes shone in the gleam of a passing street lamp.  “What do you call a person with one leg?” he repeated.  She could hear the smile in his voice.

“I don’t know.  What?”

“Ilene.”

Melody laughed despite herself.  “That’s the stupidest joke I’ve ever heard,” she said, but her laughter betrayed her.

“It really isn’t.  What do you call a Chinese person with one leg?”

“What?”

“Irene.”

The two of them spent the rest of the bus ride telling each other bad jokes.  The punch line of one of Lucas’s caused her to erupt in such a gale of laughter that someone shushed her.  Melody could not remember the last time she had been struck with laughter so boisterous that she had required shushing.

Cadie sat in the driver’s seat of the Ford in the high school parking lot.  The buses had arrived a few minutes ago.  She had seen Melody climb out of one of them, turning to scan the parking lot for her sister’s car, and Cadie had flashed her headlights in response, feeling too tired to actually get out.  Melody had waved at her, then pointed at the trailer to indicate she still had to put her uniform away before they could leave.  Cadie had waved back, though she knew Melody probably could not see her in the dark of the car.  She did not particularly care.

She leaned back against the head rest and rubbed her tired eyes with her fingertips.  Sometimes it was really annoying having to be her sister’s chauffeur, but she knew this was the price she paid for being given the car.

Her eyes were drawn to the right side of the parking lot, where the other two buses—those carrying the football players and the cheerleaders—had parked.  She saw Shane immediately.  His tall, wiry figure beneath a shaggy carpet of red hair was hard to miss.  Besides that, he was still wearing his blue jersey bearing the gold number 87.

Under normal circumstances, she would have been happy to see him, but he was not alone.  He was standing with Amanda Teller under an awning near one of the side entrances to the gym.  They were probably completely unseen by their compatriots unloading the buses, but sitting in her car, with the front windshield angled directly toward them, she had a perfect view.

Amanda stood in front of him, both of her hands clutched around one of his.  She was saying something to him and he was smiling.  She stood on her toes, her head tilted back to look him in the eye and her back arched toward him provocatively.  They looked as if they might have just finished kissing.  Or, God forbid, as if they were about to kiss.

If he kisses her, I’m going to throw up,
Cadie thought with certainty.

Shane was saying something now, and his free hand reached up to absently swipe his bangs out of his eyes.  He started to back away from Amanda, still smiling, but she clutched his hand tighter and pulled him back.  She was grinning coyly up at him, and Cadie felt a wave of malicious jealousy wash over her.

Melody suddenly walked in front of the Ford, obstructing Cadie’s vision.  She snapped her eyes forward and felt her jaw set itself tightly.  She forced herself to keep her eyes away from the romantic scene under the awning as Melody climbed into the passenger side of the car.  “How was your night?” she asked her sister.

“Well, it started out crappy,” Melody answered, “but then it ended up okay.  You?”

Cadie shifted the car into gear.  “Exactly the opposite.”

Fourteen

It was Saturday, which meant the day of Brian’s departure for college had finally arrived.  Felicia stood with him in her driveway next to his green Dodge Shadow.  He had stopped in to say good-bye to the Stolarzes; after this, he would be driving to his house, where he would meet his dad and they would take their minivan, packed to the brim with Brian’s belongings, to Ohio.

Alex and Molly had already gone back inside after saying good-bye to Brian, hugging him, telling him to be careful and study hard, and all those other things that parents were required to say when a kid left for college.  Shane had lingered awhile, going over the highlights of their game from the night before and talking about other things that Felicia considered to be completely useless topics of conversation.  Eventually he had retreated into the house, after they had high-fived each other and bestowed upon each other that half-hug thing that guys did where they patted each other’s backs.

Felicia and Brian had been standing in an embrace for a long period of time, not speaking.  Her head barely came halfway up his chest, so he really could not hold her very tightly, lest he might suffocate her.  But Felicia held him as tightly as she could, her arms wrapped securely around his waist.  “Don’t go,” she said.

He sighed and stroked her hair.  “I don’t want to leave you, either.”

Felicia tilted her head back to look up at him.  “So don’t go.  Why can’t you go to college here?”

“Because I’m going to Ohio State.  My dad went to Ohio State.”

It was a conversation they had had many, many times before and it always yielded the same results, but now that he was getting ready to get in his car and actually drive away from her for good, she felt the need to make one last attempt to get him to stay.  “Yeah, but your parents lived in Ohio back then.  You live in Pennsylvania now.  You should go to Penn State.”

“Yeah, that wouldn’t give my dad a heart attack or anything.”

This was the moment.  It was really happening.  Brian had, in fact, graduated from high school.  He was actually going to go to Ohio.  He had torn down the fort of boxes in his bedroom and had reconstructed it in his parents’ minivan.  The fort was accompanying him to Ohio.

He had been such a huge part of her life for so long and now he was leaving her.  And though he did not know it, and she had no intention of telling him, he was leaving her with a truth that she absolutely did not want to face.

“So this is it, then,” he said, not looking at her.  His gaze was cast over their front yard.

Felicia looked up at him.  “What’s it?”

Brian looked down at her. “I love you,” he said.

It was her turn to look away from him.  “It’s not going to work, is it?” she asked quietly.

“We don’t know that for sure.”

“I think we do.”  She met his eyes.  “Don’t we?”

Brian let out a long, slow sigh.  “Maybe,” he answered.  He folded his arms and leaned against his car.  “I didn’t really think this was going to happen,” he admitted.  “I really thought… I really thought we could make it work.”

“I thought so, too—at first.  But then, when the time got closer…”

“Yeah,” he replied.  “It seemed less and less likely that this might… work.”  He looked down at her again.  “I do love you, Felicia.  I meant it all the times I said it.”

“I know you did, Brian.  But sometimes things just don’t turn out the way you want them to.”  She meant that more than he would ever know.

Brian turned to her.  He leaned forward and kissed her, a long, slow kiss that was meant to quell the pain of his leaving her.

They did not say good-bye.  Brian got into his car and started the engine without saying another word.  He backed out of their driveway and onto their dead-end road, then drove to the stop sign at the end of the street.  Felicia watched the green Dodge Shadow pause with its left blinker on.  After a car passed on the main road, Brian pulled out into the street.  The road wound away behind a hill, and so after only a few seconds, he and his car were both out of sight.

Felicia sank to the driveway, tears flowing down her cheeks.  She cried the tears of someone who was desperately lonely and utterly terrified.

Felicia’s mood had improved somewhat by the time Elliot arrived at her house that evening.  Because it was the first time she had come to the Stolarzes’ house, Felicia had to introduce her to her parents and Shane.  She and Shane were somewhat acquainted, having Spanish together, but they had never been formally introduced.  They had a brief dialogue in fractured Spanish before Felicia got fed up and dragged Elliot back down the hall to her bedroom.  Felicia took French and was frustrated at having been left out of the conversation.

“He seems nice,” Elliot said guardedly as Felicia shut the bedroom door behind them.

“That’s because he hasn’t had sex with all of your friends,” Felicia pointed out.

“Well, no.  Considering you’re one of my friends, that would be gross.”

Felicia let this remark pass.  She sat on her bed and clutched one of her pillows in her lap.  When Elliot sat down next to her, Felicia dropped the pillow and began pacing the room instead.

Elliot looked at her kindly.  “So, how are you doing?”

“I don’t know,” Felicia answered.  “Sometimes I think I’m doing okay, but then it’s like it hits me all over again.”

“What do you think you’ll miss the most?” Elliot asked.

Felicia glanced at her.  “I don’t know.  Why?”

“Well, if you figure out what you’ll miss the most, maybe we can find a suitable substitute for it,” Elliot suggested, her lips curling into a smile.  “Like if it was the pancakes he made, we can make pancakes.”

Felicia laughed despite herself.  “He never made pancakes.”

“Was it the sex?” Elliot asked with a raised eyebrow.

Felicia was too startled to respond.  How was it that Elliot had managed to zero in on the one thing she definitely did
not
want to talk about?

“Oh, that’s right!  I haven’t talked to you since you guys had sex again.  Did it get any better?  Inquiring minds want to know.”

Felicia tried to figure out a way to avoid having this conversation, but none came to mind.  She sighed.  “Not really,” she answered reluctantly.

“Oh,” said Elliot, sounding disappointed.  “That blows.”

“Yeah, and when I tried to talk to him about it, he kind of freaked out—”

“You tried to talk to him about it?” Elliot exclaimed.

Felicia was surprised.  “Yeah…”

“Oh, my God.  You can’t
talk
to guys about it when you’re having problems in the sack.”

Felicia barked a laugh.  “Oh, so all those relationship columnists who preach about communication with your boyfriend are just full of it?”

Elliot sighed and shifted her weight on the bed.  “Guys have really fragile egos.  You can’t just come right out and say it.  You have to approach the subject so that they think everything between the sheets is fantastic.  Then they can go brag to their friends about how awesome they are and, you know, give stupid nicknames to their penises or whatever.”

Felicia rolled her eyes.  “Guys don’t give their penises nicknames.”

Elliot laughed.  “Are you joking?  Guys totally nickname their penises.”

“
All
guys?”

“Maybe not
all
guys, but a lot of them, I bet.  I had a friend Joe at my old school who named his after Marine Corps officer rankings and every time he slept with someone new, he promoted it.”

“You’re lying.”

Elliot’s eyes darted toward the door.  Felicia looked at her quizzically, then, as realization settled over her, she said, “No.  Don’t you dare.”

Elliot sprang to her feet and ran to the door.  Felicia leapt after her and caught her by the arm as Elliot wrenched open the bedroom door.  She started to run into the hallway, but Felicia, falling to her knees, clutched Elliot around the legs, causing her to squeal and fall flat on her stomach in the hallway.  Elliot attempted to crawl commando-style down the hallway toward Shane’s bedroom door, with Felicia’s arms still wrapped around her legs.

Shane’s bedroom door opened and he looked down at them.  “What the hell?” he demanded.

“Quarter!” shouted Felicia.

Elliot looked up at him.  “Did you nickname your penis?”

Shane’s eyes widened.  “
Excuse
me?”

“Elliot!” Felicia scolded.

Elliot tried to break free of Felicia’s grip, but she held tight around her legs.  Elliot hoisted herself up on her elbows and looked at Shane pleadingly.  “We’re doing research on guys’ egos, and it’s very important for us to know if you have ever nicknamed your penis.  Have you?”

Shane rolled his eyes.  “You two are crazy.”  But as he started to disappear back into his bedroom, the two girls saw a telltale redness creep into his cheeks.

Elliot pointed at him and laughed defiantly as she looked back at Felicia.  “See?  He’s blushing!  He totally did it!”

“I did not!” Shane retorted, but the blush in his face betrayed him.

Felicia shook her head and removed her hands around Elliot’s legs to clap them over her ears.  “Oh, my God, I definitely did
not
want to know this,” she said.

Their father chose that moment to walk into the upstairs hallway.  He looked at Shane, framed in the doorway, at Elliot lying on her stomach on the floor, and Felicia draped across Elliot’s legs with her arms wrapped around her head.  He looked back at Shane and said calmly, “So what’s going on in here?”

Shane backed into his room and shut the door fiercely behind him without another word.  Felicia glanced at Elliot, then looked back at Alex.  “Research,” she explained.

Cadie woke up on Monday morning a little earlier than she normally did.  She had not been sleeping well that weekend, and she was sorry to admit that that had something to do with seeing Amanda and Shane together after the football game looking too cozy for her own comfort. 

Cadie stood in front of her full-length bedroom mirror in the tank top and yoga pants that she had slept in the night before.  Her hair was its typical morning bird’s nest.  She never saw the point in doing anything to it other than washing it, brushing it, and pulling it back.  Now she stood staring at herself, pulling locks away from her head and examining her reflection skeptically.

What does she have that I don’t?

The thought arose unwillingly in Cadie’s brain, and she shook her head slightly, as if she could shake it away.  Cadie thought of herself as a reasonably pretty girl, but standing next to Amanda, she knew there was no competition.  Amanda was always flawlessly put together, something that Cadie had never been able to accomplish, mostly for lack of trying.

In that moment, she made a decision.

Unfortunately Melody had grabbed the bathroom while Cadie was standing in front of her mirror contemplating her reflection, and she had to wait another twenty minutes to access the bathroom and act on her decision.  After she had showered,
she began attempting to put in her contact lenses.  She finally succeeded on the third try, wondering if she would ever get used to the sensation of poking her finger in her eye. 

Cadie
grabbed her flatiron from under the sink.  She and Melody both had their own.  Melody’s was battered and slightly sticky from hairspray and other miscellaneous products.  Cadie’s looked brand new.  She had only used it about four times in her life.

It took about forty-five minutes to blow-dry and straighten her hair.  She thought the effect was a remarkable improvement over her normal hairstyle, which Melody affectionately referred to as “windswept”, probably because it was rude to call her sister’s hair “torn up.”  Cadie admired her hair in the mirror for a few minutes, but her project was far from over.  She walked down the hallway in her bathrobe and hesitated at her sister’s closed door.  Finally, she raised her hand and knocked.

“Come in,” Melody called from inside.

Cadie opened the door and walked inside.  Melody was already dressed in jeans, sneakers, and a pale blue polo shirt.  Cadie knew she would pack a tank top or t-shirt to wear to band practice that afternoon.  The top layer of her hair was pinned back with an ornamental barrette, but the hair that was free curled sweetly around her shoulders.  “Hey, your hair looks good,” Melody said.

“Thanks,” Cadie answered.  “Um.”  She took a deep breath and started again.  “Um, I was wondering if you could help me out with something.”

“Sure.  What’s up?”  Melody stopped to look at her sister.

“Um…”  Cadie gave up trying to explain herself and reached forward to grab her sister’s wrist.  “Come with me.”

“Okay.”

Cadie dragged her sister down the hallway to her own bedroom.  She grabbed Melody’s shoulders and forced her to stand in front of her open closet.  She pointed inside.  “Help me.”

“Pardon?”

“Help me.  I don’t know how to do this.”