Tekgrrl (2 page)

Lainey settled Emily on her hip and stared at me. “Really?”

“Not really. Toby’s trying to get out of asking this waiter to dance by using me as an excuse. I’m babysitting Em,” I said, reaching for the baby again. She immediately shrieked. Oh yeah, I’d be a stellar mom.

“She wants to see Mommy and Daddy for a while,” Lainey said. “And I think Wes has used up his allotment of social grace for the day with all of these people. Some things never change.” She grinned at me. “So go have fun.”

“Guys, maybe I’m over Luke,” I suggested—and didn’t like the incredulous looks they gave me in return. “Seriously, I’m pushing thirty, and that’s way too old to be harboring a crush I had when I was twelve. For God’s sake, Lainey, you’re only a bit younger than me and you’re married with a kid! And Wesley…he’s only twenty-one!”

“Wesley so doesn’t count in this scenario. He’s physically twenty-one but actually older than civilization,” Lainey said with a laugh.

“You know what I mean. It’s time for me to grow up,” I resolved, motioning to my hair. “I mean, seriously, what am I rebelling against? I’m not a teenager anymore. Luke and I are friends, and that’s all we’re ever going to be. I need to have the maturity to accept that.”

Lainey shot a worried glance at Toby. “We’re not saying you’re acting immature, Mindy, we just want you to take a chance and acknowledge your feelings. There’s a chance Luke might feel the same.”

I knew they meant well, but seeing Lainey in a mature, healthy relationship had only served as a reminder of how immature I was acting, regardless of what they said. I wasn’t getting any younger, and if I ever wanted what she had—a husband and kids, as well as my career fighting crime and evil—I was going to have to grow up. And soon. But Lainey and Toby were right about one thing: I did need to acknowledge my feelings. So I could move on.

“Fine,” I said, standing up and smoothing down my black dress. “I’ll go ask my
friend
Luke to dance.”

Squaring my shoulders, I walked forward to put this crush behind me once and for all.

He excused himself from the conversation he was having as I walked up. “What’s going on, Mindy? Something wrong?” He glanced around the room, looking for trouble.

“What, Luke, I can’t talk to you unless there’s something wrong?” I spoke in a light tone, cursing Toby for drawing attention earlier. How was I supposed to act nonchalant now?

Luke’s posture visibly relaxed. “I guess it says something about me that my first thought whenever anyone approaches is that trouble’s brewing.”

I shrugged. “Occupational hazard.”

“I suppose.”

There was an awkward silence between us as we stood there, the sounds of murmured conversation and the band’s music filling the void.

“So, was there something specific you wanted to talk about, or did you just want out of babysitting?” Luke finally asked.

I spoke before I could stop myself. “Do you want to dance?”

Luke blinked. “What?”

“I’m tired of sitting around,” I continued, forcing myself to study the way his forehead wrinkled with astonishment just so that my eyes wouldn’t go straight to the floor. I had to at least appear like I was facing him head-on. “I want to dance.”

“Oh.”

“Toby’s too busy trying to work up the courage to ask this waiter, Lainey said Wesley’s done being social for the night, and Paul’s, well…”

“Yeah, I wouldn’t want to dance with Paul, either.” Luke laughed, referring to our field leader, the man who led the team during missions, and general stick-in-the-mud. “If Kate can get him unlatched from that chemist up for the Nobel Prize, it’ll be a minor miracle, anyway; they’ve been talking in the corner all night.” He nodded to where Paul stood holding a mostly full glass of champagne and having an intense conversation with an equally stuffy-looking man.

Kate, our teammate and Paul’s lover, had totally given up on him and was flirting with the bartender. He probably wouldn’t hold it against her, though. Flirting was as natural as breathing to Aphrodite, the goddess of love. Yes, Kate was an actual immortal, and could control all aspects of love. Many of the gods and goddesses of myth existed; though, aside from the occasional decades-long trips to Olympus and their immortality, they were pretty much like any other person of the powered persuasion.

“So, yeah, I thought I’d ask you,” I said, as if he wouldn’t be my first choice. “I mean, come on. You didn’t learn dancing somewhere along the way? You’ve compared martial arts to dancing…”

“Yeah, dancing that can end with bodily injury!” Luke shook his head with a smile and looked at the couples already out on the dance floor. “Though I don’t think it takes much time to learn how to sway back and forth like that.”

“That sounds like a yes to me,” I said, holding out a hand and willing it not to shake. I couldn’t act like this was important to me and scare him off. This had to be a
friendly
dance.

He looked like he was going to say something but changed his mind. “Okay, sure,” he said, and took my arm. “Just don’t expect a waltz.”

“Like I know how.”

I winked at Lainey as Luke and I passed where she and Toby were sitting.
Your turn,
I mouthed to him, and Toby rolled his eyes but got up and went over to the waiter.

And then I no longer cared what Toby did as Luke took me into his arms. For all of my tough bad-girl talk, for all of my “I’m over him,” professions, he still affected me. It was sad that someone who had never acknowledged me as anything more than a coworker, let alone a woman, could make my heart race and my stomach feel fluttery.

Even with my four-inch heels, I only came to just above his shoulder, which is where I kept my eyes as we danced. I was afraid if I looked into his gaze I would do something stupid like try to kiss him. I had come this far, after all.

“The band’s pretty good,” Luke remarked, filling the gap in conversation since we weren’t one of those couples who could practically glue themselves together to the beat of the music.

“For this kind of thing, sure,” I said.

“Not much on acoustic versions of classic rock songs?”

“I prefer the originals.”

“And here I thought you’d say you prefer death metal.”

“It’s a common misconception,” I said. “The hair throws everyone. I look like I write angsty Goth poetry in my spare time, not recalibrate my perpetual motion machine.”

Luke laughed. “A reporter asked me the other day for a comment about this rapper, and acted mad that I didn’t know who it was. I don’t know if I was expected to know because I’m half-black, or because we’re celebrities too.”

“Please, I’m the one who listens to rap, not you!” I grinned. “The only thing I’ve heard you listen to is instrumental stuff and jazz. You like music you can meditate to, not that makes you want to fight the power.”

“That’s your department,” he agreed, laugh lines crinkling his mouth in the way that always made my insides melt.

“I think that’s the kind of thing that makes people not take me seriously,” I said, sobering. “Lainey’s my friend and I love her, but it’s, like, since she showed up, all she’s done is served as a reminder of how immature I am.”

Luke frowned. “Not everyone has to get married and have kids, Mindy. I don’t know if I’m the settling-down type, either.”

That was like a red-hot poker in my stomach, because I
was
the settling-down type; but I went on. “It’s not the married-with-kids thing. It’s just…how she is. And how Wesley is. They’re both so much more than us. A lot of us,” I amended, not wanting to insult Luke. “They’re like how I was when I was a kid and my parents started bringing me around the EHJ, wide-eyed and wanting to save the world. I wanted to be someone important. Not like a celebrity, but someone that mattered. Who did good. And then I joined and there were publicists and action figures, and saving the world starting taking a backseat to name recognition and patent agreements. It was all so juvenile. And then she and Wesley stood up to the Dragon and stopped the apocalypse, and what did I do?”

Luke’s face was grim. “You almost died, Mindy! I was there. You were fading fast. If it hadn’t been for your technology and Wesley’s magic, you wouldn’t still be here. And we all helped in that fight. Lainey and Wesley had a bigger part to play, but we all shed blood. Rath died, for God’s sake!”

The mention of our former team leader, who had been killed in the fight against the Dragon, made things worse. I whispered, “They’re the heroes. I’m just playing at being one. I’m a poser.”

Luke shook his head. I realized we had stopped dancing at some point in the conversation and were standing still, his hand on my waist. It sent tingles through me. “Yes, Mindy, we lost our way somewhere. That’s why I was glad to get the Reincarnist back. I really think he can help us regain our focus. The EHJ can be everything it was always supposed to be.”

“I hope so.”

Sighing, I turned and walked off the dance floor, heading for the nearby doors to the outside balcony. From that vista atop the Elite Hands of Justice headquarters, we could see Megolopolis in all its breathtaking glory. I hardly saw any of it as I walked outside, lost as I was in my thoughts. The sounds of the city filtered up to me.

“I know we will,” Luke said, following me to lean against the rail. I felt his perusal. “And it’s always good to want personal growth in your life, not just money or fame or the other misguided goals society puts in front of us.”

I smiled. “That sounds like very good advice. Thank you, Sensei.” That was the name by which the public knew Lucas Harmon.

He put his hand on my shoulder. “I fall just as short as you do, Mindy. I’ve been just as distracted by the glitter, not focusing enough on helping people,” he admitted. “We could all stand to be more honest with ourselves—and with each other.” He cleared his throat and looked away. “We should all make every day count.”

“Now
that
is very good advice,” I agreed, and felt my hands shaking against the cool balcony railing. I had to say more. He was right, I had to be honest with him if I wanted any chance of finally being a grown-up about the way I felt about him.

“Mindy—”

“Luke, I need to tell you something,” I interrupted, turning to face him and not the skyline. “You know I had a crush on you when I was younger, right?”

His smile of embarrassment and the way he ran his hand through his close-cropped black hair told me all I needed to know. He cleared his throat. “Well…”

Fear of humiliation burned through me, and I wanted this over as quickly as possible. “Okay, so I made it obvious. We both know that. But…I just need to tell you that’s all in the past. I feel like it’s kind of kept us apart, you know?” I didn’t want him to be uncomfortable around me anymore.

“It doesn’t have to keep us apart.” He moved closer, looking down at me with half-hooded dark brown eyes.

My soul wanted him to be staring at me with love, but my brain told me that was impossible. This was only pity I saw; kindness. I was always going to be a surrogate kid sister to him. I had to stop living in the past, in my dream world. I had to move on.

I steeled myself and said, “You’re right, it doesn’t. And I don’t want it to any longer.”

He smiled, and my heart almost hurt from how gorgeous he was. He said, “Neither do I. I just didn’t know how to approach you about it.”

I shook my head, embarrassed despite my resolution of honesty. “Yeah, I made it pretty awkward between us, didn’t I? I’m sorry for not saying something sooner.” I touched his arm, careful to keep it sisterly. “Thank you for being so understanding about this, Luke. I’m glad we can move on now and just be friends.”

He straightened, back to business as usual. How sweet of him to try to make this less awkward for me. He had probably been waiting ages for me to put this silly tension between us to rest. So many uncomfortable years, and they were all my fault. “Yeah, no problem.”

“Maybe we can actually work patrols together now,” I suggested. “Maybe we can schedule that, now that we’ve handled this. I think there’s a lot I could learn from you, since we’re the only two on the team who don’t have any specific powers.”

“Sure, that can probably be arranged,” he replied. “I’d like that. Now that we’re actually doing patrols again instead of publicity shots at the latest celebrity hot spots.”

“I hear that.” Thinking of the others, I looked inside and noticed how a lot of the guests were starting to leave. “Looks like they’re packing it in. We’d better get back in there.” Plus, that would end this somewhat humbling episode.

He followed my gaze, looking inscrutable. “We should. Thanks for getting me out on the dance floor.”

“My pleasure.”

I took the arm he held out, and we headed in to say our good-byes.

Just inside the doors, Lainey was in conversation with a glamorous woman whose flawless cocoa brown skin and dress made her look like she’d just walked off a fashion shoot. Her artfully arranged hair and simple but elegant makeup were perfection, and she had the air of someone who didn’t have to work hard to pull it all off. I fought a wave of jealousy.

“Guys, this is my friend, Selena Curtis,” Lainey said, motioning Luke and I over. “We went to
The School
together. Selena, these are my teammates and friends, Mindy Clark and Lucas Harmon.”

“Hi,” I told the Glamazon, friendly enough to be polite.

“Hello,” she replied. “Tekgrrl, I presume.”

“Yeah, that’s me.” I shrugged. “I’m afraid I don’t know your alias.”

“Granite,” she supplied with a smile. “Any friend of Lainey’s and all that.”

“Uh-huh.” I noticed her eyes on Luke, and my blood pressure spiked.

She held out a French-manicured hand with one tasteful ring and bracelet. “Sensei, correct?”

“That’s right,” Luke said, taking her hand and kissing it like a courtly gentleman from a period film. I gaped, and I know Lainey did as well. “Pleasure to meet you.”

“It’s all mine,” she replied, giving him a dazzling smile. Even her teeth were perfect—and probably not from braces, either. How could Lainey be friends with someone like this?