Teen Angel (22 page)

“I don’t know. I guess it means we hang around together.”

Sonny was disappointed. “That sounds romantic.”

“What do you want me to say? We go together. That’s all.”

“But do you like me?”

“Of course, I like you. I wouldn’t go steady with you if I didn’t.”

“Do you love me?” Her voice squeaked.

“You? I’m crazy about you even though I still think you’re weird.”

Sonny jumped up excitedly. “Well, I love you and think you’re handsomer than George Chakiris!”

“I want you to have something,” Ruben said. He took a tie clip out of his pocket. “This is for you.” He clipped it on to the collar of her dress.

“Oooooh, let me see,” Sonny cried. She took the tie clip off.

It was gold with this tiny blue diamond on the tip. And it had his initials engraved on it. R.O. “Can I kiss you, even though–” Ruben kissed her on the forehead. “It’s beautiful,” she whispered, putting the clip on.

Then Ruben kissed her fully on the lips. She wanted to tell him that he didn’t have to, that she had the world’s worst breath and even Certs wouldn’t help. But he wouldn’t let her say anything. As he kissed her, Sonny felt like she could melt in his arms, right there. She wanted to give herself to him totally. Every molecule and cell of her body. Even the atoms.
He loved her. He said he was crazy about her. He gave her his tie clip. Thank you, God. She was loved
.

She could see her building up the block. If she knew her mother, she was probably spying on them out the window. “I have to go,” she said sorrowfully. “I don’t want to but I’m going to get in trouble.”

“I hate to let you go,” Ruben said. “My girl, my Sonny, my steady.”

“Hey, smile for me!” Sonny said.

“Why?”

“Cause I want to see your missing tooth.”

“Why?”

“So I’ll know you’re not perfect. Please.”

Ruben gave her a quick smile. Then he said, “You’re weird. That’s why I like you.”

They held each other so tight that their muscles began to spasm. “I better walk up the block by myself,” Sonny said.

“I’ll wait here for you to make sure you get home all right.”

“When am I going to see you again?”

“I can’t tomorrow. I have to go to church.”

“We’ll see each other in school?”

“Sure.”

“Good night, my love,” Sonny said, throwing a kiss.

Ruben nodded to her. “I’ll wait here until you
get
into your building.”

Sonny ran up the block. Just as she was about to enter her building, she looked down the hill where Ruben stood. He waved to her.
He loved her, he did
. She could almost believe it.
He paid for her. He gave her his tie clip
. Sonny waved back to Ruben. For the first time in her life, she got a lucky break. Now if she only didn’t blow it.

As she unlocked the downstairs door, her reflection greeted her in the lobby mirror. There she was, Sonny Palovsky, who went steady with Ruben Ortega. She examined her face for a trace of something new, a change because of all that she had experienced. But she looked exactly the same except messier, and her makeup and hair were wrecks. She tried to fix herself up as she waited for the elevator.

Normally, she would not have dared to take the elevator at this hour. But tonight was different. She was loved. It made her feel like she had a protective aura around her and nothing could hurt her. Besides, there was nobody reflected in the elevator mirror. She rode up the four flights with a smile plastered on her face and nearly danced to her apartment door. But her mother opened it before she had a chance to even find her key.

“Do you know what time it is, young lady?” she asked, standing in a quilted blue bathrobe over her nightgown.

“I know it’s late,” Sonny began, “but I had such a good time. Besides, none of the other girls left so I stayed.”

Sonny walked past her.

“I’m happy you had a good time,” she said. “I saw you down the block.”

She was sunk. But Sonny didn’t care. It was worth it.

“Who was he?” she asked.

“Somebody.”

“Who?” she demanded. “And what is this?” She pulled the tie clip off Sonny’s collar.

“Give it back!” Sonny tried to grab it out of her mother’s hand. “That’s private property.”

“Not until you tell me who gave it to you.” She looked at it. “RO. Is it some boy’s you met at the dance?”

Sonny’s eyes lit up. “Yes. I’ll tell you but please don’t tell Dad.”

“What?”

“I met the most wonderful boy. He’s got dark hair and is incredibly gorgeously handsome. And you know what?”

“Yes?”

“HE’S JEWISH!”

“Oh Sonny, that’s wonderful! How did you meet?”

“I just saw him standing there alone. He looked at me and I knew, he was the one. Somehow it reminded me of how you met Dad. And he gave me his tie clip. We’re going steady.”

“What’s his name?”

“Uh, Robert, uh, Oppenheimer. And he goes to Bronx High School of Science.”

“I was angry that you made me worry. I couldn’t sleep. You stayed out so late. But, this one time we’ll make an exception. What color are Robert’s eyes?”

“Uh, kind of bluish.”

“Like your father’s,” she said dreamily. “When I met him, I thought he looked just like Tyrone Power. Enough talk. It’s time for everyone to go to sleep. Here.” She gave the tie clip to Sonny. “My grown-up daughter with a boyfriend.”

“All he wants to do is make out,” Sonny complained. They sat at D.B.’s kitchen table, eating Mallomars.

“Yeah, but that’s what you’re supposed to do when you’re going steady.” D.B. popped a whole Mallomar into her mouth.

“But that’s
all
he wants to do. He doesn’t want to talk or anything.” Sonny nibbled at her Mallomar.

“Talk about what?”

“You know, what’s he’s thinking about–”

“Guys have one thing only on their minds,” D.B. said.

“–or his feelings,” Sonny continued, biting into the marshmallow.

“Feelings?” D.B. groaned. “Sometimes you really are creepy, Sonny, no offense.” She popped another Mallomar.

“Anyway, I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“You know the basics, don’t you?” D.B. said.

“You mean, what the man does to the woman?”

D.B. made a motion of her forefinger diving into her fist.

“I’m serious, D.B. I mean, I know
generally
what goes on. But
it’s like in the movies. They show this couple making out. Then the next scene she faints, which means she got pregnant. But they never actually show anyone doing it.”

D.B. stood up and walked over to where Sonny sat. “Okay, let’s pretend I’m the guy. We’ve been making out and getting all hot.”

Sonny nodded. Was D.B. going to act it out?

“So I open my fly and out it comes: my dick, cock, prick, penis, dong …”

“Where do you get all those words?” Sonny interrupted.

“Literature. My mother has copies of books like
Anna’s Fantasies
and
The Stewardesses
.” D.B. popped another Mallomar.

“She reads those books?”

“What do you think she’d read?
Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm?
Anyway, so his thing comes out. Do you know what an erection is?”

“Kind of,” Sonny said. “That’s when it gets hard and points up, right?” She tried to pop a Mallomar whole into her mouth and choked.

“Not always,” D.B. said. “I heard about this guy who got hard but it pointed to his knees. In order to get in, he had to do it upside-down.”

“D.B., have you ever gone all the way?” Sonny asked.

“Anyway, once they have an erection, they’ll want to stick it in you,” D.B. said, ignoring Sonny’s question. “But don’t let them unless they put on a rubber. They’ll tell you how you can’t get pregnant and all. They’ll bullshit ‘cause they hate to put the bag on. But don’t be fooled.”

“I haven’t got my period,” Sonny said unhappily.

“Well, they don’t have to know that. Tell them to wear a rubber. You can
get
a disease, besides.”

Sonny thought about what her mother always said about dirty toilets and not to sit on them because of germs. “What kind of disease?”

“V.D., which is when little worms get into your pussy. You can
die from them because they eat you from inside.”

Sonny’s face fell. That seemed like the most embarrassing sort of death. She could just imagine her mother screaming at her funeral, “I told her not to sit on those dirty toilets! Now look what she’s done.”

“And that’s all there is to it.” D.B. sat back down.

“Do you ever get kind of white stuff in your undies?”

“You mean cunt cheese? It smells like a rotten onion?”

Sonny nodded. “That’s it. Exactly! What is it?”

“That’s called smegma. Everyone gets it. It means you’re horny. Sometimes you can even get it if you ride a bicycle.”

“Yeah?”

“There are some perverts in the city who hang around bike shops just to smell the seats.” D.B. put another whole Mallomar in her mouth. “Some of them like to be peed on and wearjiigh heels.”

“What’s proust and fellatio?” Sonny asked. “That’s what it said in the Heights bathroom.”

“I don’t know about proust. Maybe it’s some kind of new position.”

“How come they have to have all those dumb positions anyway?”

“And it’s pronounced ‘fell-a-tio.’ You make it sound like Italian food. Anyway that’s the same thing as sucking off a guy.” D.B. made a face. “You know, a blowjob.”

“Ugh.” Sonny looked like she might puke.

“I know, some girls will do anything to be popular.”

“Well, what should I do with Ruben? We’ve only been going steady a month, and he’s already pressuring me.”

“Take it slow,” D.B. said, “cause it ain’t that far to go. I made that up.”

“But what should I
do?
”

“Just tell him to wait, but nicely. Remember, you do owe him something though. After all, you are going steady and you don’t want to be a C.T.”

“What’s that?”

“A cock teaser.”

“What do I owe him?” Sonny shrieked.

“Don’t get excited. It’s no big deal. Just an occasional feel. When you dance with him, you’re supposed to grind. How far have you gone anyway?” D.B. asked.

“We’ve kissed and hugged a lot.”

“Oh, mush!” D.B. moaned. “What else?”

“Well, he’s put his hand over my top.”

“Yes.”

“That’s all.”

“And that’s as far as you
ever
went?”

Sonny nodded her head sheepishly. “Ruben’s my first boyfriend.”

D.B. shook her head. “Child’s play.”

“How far have you gone?” Sonny asked her.

“Sonny, it’s not such a big deal. You don’t believe that wedding night jive, do you?”

“Not necessarily, the wedding night. But I always thought it would be very romantic. I’d wear a white nightgown that was slightly transparent. I’d give myself totally to my
lover
.”

“You’ve been watching too many movies,” D.B. said. “I’ll be right back.”

When she returned, D.B. had five true confession magazines in her hands. They had headlines like “I WAS GANG-BANGED BY THE HELL’S ANGELS-AND, GOD, I MUST ADMIT IT, I LOVED IT!” and “HOW OUR WEEKEND OF LOVE TURNED INTO AN ORGY OF SEX AND VIOLENCE.”

“I don’t really know if I want to read them.”

“Don’t be such a prude. It’s about time you found out what’s happening.”

All the girls on the covers were blond, blue-eyed virgin types who looked like Sandra Dee but had expressions on their faces which suggested one thing: ACTION. They did it. They were
good girls who decided to be
nice
. Sonny’s eye caught the line: “OH, WHY DOES MY HUSBAND WRITE OBSCENE WORDS ON MY NAKED BODY?”

“They always have these weird titles on the cover,” D.B. said, “but inside the stories are really good. Here.” She shoved the stack into Sonny’s hands.

“Could I have a bag to carry them home in?”

“You mean, you’re embarrassed?”

“My mother would tear me and the magazines to shreds if she ever saw them.”

“All right already.” D.B. gave her a paper bag from Key Food and dropped the magazines in. “My mother’s the one who buys them.”

“I guess I should go.” Sonny said.

“God, do I feel sick. Why did I eat all those Mallomars? Anyway, you got it straight?”

“I suppose.”

“Don’t worry about it. Even Maria did it with Tony in
West Side Story
.”

“I am worried. Ruben and I are going to the Statue of Liberty on Saturday. Suppose he wants to go all the way?”

“Listen, if he makes a big stink about it, just jerk him off. That’s all they really want anyway. I wish I hadn’t eaten. Ugh.”

“You mean, I have to hold
it?
”

“Yeah, you shake it like a can of Yoo Hoo. But be careful. Their stuff stains, so aim in the other direction.”

“Oh well, see ya later, I guess.”

As Sonny walked down Broadway carrying the bag of magazines, she felt like Moses when he had the Ten Commandments. Up untill then, sex had been something she did to herself under the covers. Romance was what you had with boys but they never knew about it. She felt for Ruben’s tie clip to make sure it was still on her collar.

Ruben squeezed her hand lightly, “I think South Ferry is the next station.”

No man, woman, child riding the IRT local this Saturday afternoon ever felt happier than Sonny. And that included Miss Subways Rosemary Scuzzula “who brightens the offices of International Communications but hopes one day to be a model.” Her happiness was
infinite
.

Once there, Ruben bought them two tickets. “Thanks,” Sonny said. “My parents took me down here once to go to Staten Island but I’ve never been to the Statue of Liberty.”

“Wait until you see it,” Ruben said. “You can climb all the way up to the torch. They have these funny narrow steps.”

Sonny looked down at her cha-cha boots. Unfortunately, all five of her toes were crowded into the point. She’d be crippled before the day was through but she didn’t care.

They stood at the front of the ferry. A strong wind blew but Ruben held her tightly. She looked around herself to see whether
anyone appreciated the happy couple in their midst. Sonny kissed Ruben on the neck.