Tears of the Broken (62 page)

“
I’ll never do it.” He dropped my arm and sat back.

“
I’m
sorry.” I didn’t look up. “Is it…is it bad of me to think that
way?”

“
Yes.”

Oh.
The awkward silence grew fatter and shrunk in around me. “It’s just
that—” How do I explain this? “It’s just that there’s this strange
pull…urging me toward you in a different kind of way. I—I want to
feel your teeth against my flesh, I—”

“
Ara, stop talking.”

“
But, why? I—”

“
Ara. I said stop talking.” David stiffened.

It’s
not fair. He never lets me finish my sentences. I know it’s wrong,
and I feel really ashamed of myself, but at the same time…it
excites me—the thought, the idea of giving him what’s mine—to know
it’ll warm him and make him smell sweet, to know I’d truly be a
part of him.

“
Stop it!” David jumped off the bed and flew across the
room.

My
mouth hung open and warm liquid rushed up in the corners of my
eyes. What did I do?

“
You
can’t think like that around me, Ara, it’s dangerous.” He leaned
against my dresser with his arms folded. “I will never do that with
you, so get the idea out of your head.”

The
shame, humiliation and rejection tightened my chest muscles and
made them shake as heat raced up from my stomach, spilling out over
my cheeks as tears.

“
Ara, don’t cry.” David appeared on the bed and encased me in
his arms. “Please, I’m sorry. I just—”

“
What’s wrong with me? Why wouldn’t you want
to do that with
me
?”

He
took a deep breath and smoothed my tears from my cheeks. “It’s not
that I don’t want to, mon amour—it’s…I hurt you already, and you
won’t heal as fast as I,” his tone sung with reason. “I can’t bear
to see another cut on you.”

I
stopped blubbering and looked up from his shoulder. “We could cut
where no one would see?”

“
How
will that be any different? I still have to cut you, and I can’t
use my venom to numb the flesh.”

“
I don’t care. Something’s happened inside
me, David. I feel confused about it all, like, it’s really gross
when I think about it—the idea of drinking blood—but when I
feel
it—” I placed my
hand in the centre of my chest. “It just feels so right. But I
shouldn’t feel this way, should I?”

“
That’s the human in you,” he said, and his breath brushed my
cheek, “funny enough, it’s the human in you that’s drawn to me—to
my bite.”

Beneath his smile, his white teeth gleamed; my eyes traced
the sharp edges of his fangs and the straight lines of the teeth
that caused the bruises on my neck. My body flooded with heat. Any
other teeth wouldn’t do this to me—but these are
David’s
teeth. “It
couldn’t hurt to try it—just once,” I said.

After a long pause, David took a deep breath through his nose
and let it out. “You really wanna do this?”

“
I
know it seems strange, even more so for me—but yes, I kinda
do.”

“
It’s not strange, Ara, it’s magical—beautiful.”

“
So,
you’re not repulsed by the idea?”

“
Repulsed?” His jaw jutted forward. “No way. Ara, sharing
blood with the one you love is one of the most intimate exchanges
of passion. Lust and desire mean nothing in comparison to blood
sharing. God knows I want to do that with you—I just never thought
you would, though.”

“
Hang on.” My brow folded on one side.
“
Share
blood?
So—I could drink yours?”

“
Yes.”

“
But—I bit you.” I ran my finger over his neck. “My teeth
wouldn’t break your skin. You didn’t bleed.”

“
I
do bleed. It just takes a lot to damage vampire skin. Human teeth,
nails and objects driven by their hands don’t wield enough
strength—but vampire teeth and nails do.”

“
I
can’t imagine what you must taste like.” My mouth filled with
saliva. I swallowed it down and my cheeks burned.

David laughed, a short, breathy laugh. “Well, I’ve been told
it’s a little like milk with too much sugar.”

Good
thing I have a sweet tooth. “What do you mean by
told
?”

“
I’m
pretty old, Ara. I have been with other—”

“
Wait!” I held my hand up. “Don’t go there.”

“
Well, anyway.” He laughed. “In my world, sharing blood is as
intimate as making love—which usually follows.”

Okay, brush that thought away and store it in the
worry-about-it-later bin. “Has any one ever done it with a
human?”

“
Some. It doesn’t end well, though. We instinctively use our
teeth with each other—which ends badly for a human.”

“
Are
you afraid you might bite me?” I asked.

“
I
don’t know.” He stared thoughtfully into the darkness of my
room.

“
Are
you picturing it?” I asked playfully.

“
I’m
trying not to.”

“
Why
don’t we just try it, like, maybe a small cut at first—just to
test?”

“
I
want to, Ara. I really want to, but I can’t.”

“
Can’t—or won’t?”

“
Look. Stop it, okay. I’m not going to hurt you like that. I
really love you too much. I can’t bear the thought of you being in
pain—especially not to please me.”

“
I
don’t care about a little pain. I wanna know what it feels like to
have you drink from me.”

“
You
want to cut yourself open?” he asked with a sarcastic edge to his
tone. “Hurt yourself so your vampire boyfriend can drink from
you?”

“
It
isn’t as simple as that. I want to be a part of you—I want my blood
to flow through your veins.”

“
You
know,” he took a breath and looked away, “it’s really hard to
refuse you when you keep picturing it in your mind like
that.”

Like
this? Long, warm arms with skin of gold, cradling my silk-wrapped
torso; my neck exposed, my head rolled to one side, and your lips
brushing the skin softly at first—building the desire—your hands
caressing my face, my shoulders, and travelling over my breasts
until…

“
Okay, now you’ve done it.” He smirked and spun me into his
lap on the bed, my back against his chest, and his lips running
smoothly along my shoulder—ignoring the strap of my singlet top. “I
don’t know what this will do to you.” His voice came out lower than
a whisper. “If I take your blood, it could make you
sick.”

“
What if I take yours?”

“
I
don’t know. I’m not sure I’m willing to go that far just
yet.”

“
Why?”

“
Because I love you, okay? I don’t want anything bad to happen
to you. I don’t even want to do this.”

“
Yes, you do.”

“
No.
I don’t. I mean, I want to drink your blood, but I don’t want to
hurt you.”

“
Then I’ll do it myself.” I jumped off the bed and ran to my
desk drawer.

“
What are you doing?” David grabbed my arm as I pulled out the
scissors.

“
I’m
gonna do it myself. Then you don’t have to hurt me.”

“
Ara, you’ve lost it. You’ve actually gone crazy—give me
those.” He snatched the scissors from my hand and threw them back
in the drawer—slamming it shut.

“
You’re right.” With wide eyes I sat down in my desk chair. “I
have gone crazy.” Maybe all this has been too much for me. Maybe
finding out about David was the last straw. Vicki warned me that
when people go through trauma their grief could manifest in unusual
ways—ways you might not recognise. But she was talking about things
like promiscuity and drug use. This is different, right? This is
love, longing—a manifestation of thoughts and cravings over a
period of time that have grown into desire. When he did those
things with me in the closet at school, I felt so alive, so loved,
so in tune with him. I want that again.

David ran his hands through his hair and down the back of his
neck, then held his hand out to me; I looked up at him. “Come on,”
he said.

“
Where’re we going?”

He
smiled to himself and swept me off the ground. My hands flailed,
grabbing the collar of his shirt as he steadied me close to his
body. “We both need some fresh air.”

“
Fresh air?” My voice quivered as he stood
by my window, grabbed his jacket off my desk and placed it in my
lap. “Where
exactly
are we going to get that from—and how are you going to get
there?”

He
smiled, squeezed me close and rested his chin on my forehead. “You
may want to cover your eyes.”

Without asking why, I rolled my face into his chest and
rested my fingers over the sides of my face. If David says don’t
look—I’m not going to look.

A
cool breeze whipped across my arms and legs, and a heart-stopping
jolt sent my stomach into my chest.

“
You
okay?” he asked, pressing his lips to my hair.

I
think so.

David set my bare feet down, and my toes curled over to grip
the cold, slanted surface. A chilly breeze blew over my ankles, and
the feeling of too much space made me cling tighter to David’s
shirt. “Are we up high?”

The
kidnapper wrapped his arm around my waist and whispered in my ear,
“Open your eyes. See for yourself.”

“
Do
I have to?” I shut them tighter.

“
You’re not afraid of heights, are you, Ara?” He chuckled
lightly.

“
I’m
going to kill you for this, David Knight. I hate yo—” A breath of
awe escaped my lips as my eyes inched open and I saw the endless
skyline, trailing off to a dark-blue horizon, which lit the stars
up from underneath. “David, it’s so beautiful up here.”

“
I
come here all the time.” With a cheeky grin, he took my shaking
hand and helped me to sit with my legs dangling over the slant of
my dad’s roof.

“
Is
this where you spent the summer? Spying on me?” I snuggled into him
and rested my head on his shoulder.

“
I
was worried about you,” he said smoothly. “I was afraid your
parents might have been right about your suicidal
tendencies.”

“
And
what do you think now?”

“
Well,” he laughed the word out, “You may not be depressed
anymore, but you’re still suicidal.”

I
slapped his chest with the back of my hand. “Wanting to share blood
with you is not suicidal.”

“
Oh
boy.” He shook his head, still laughing. “If you only knew the
truth of what you do to me with your thoughts, my girl. You have no
idea how close you’ve come to death, do you?”

A
cold shiver raced down my spine and sent my heart back into my
chest with a jump. But even after the eerie feeling subsided, the
shaking remained and my teeth chattered together.

“
You’re so human,” David remarked lightly, wrapping his jacket
over my shoulders.

“
And
you’re so warm—like a human.” The heat within his jacket felt like
that warm spot in someone else’s bed after they get up—even though
he was only holding it in his hands. I slipped my arms through the
sleeves, then wrapped them back around David’s waist quickly,
squeezing tight as I breathed the woodsy, citrusy smell that seemed
to have escaped his car and steeled into the leather collar of his
jacket.

“
Are
you frightened up here?” He linked his hands together in front of
my chest.

“
The
human in me is, but the girl in me, who knows how much you love
her, isn’t.”

“
You
know I’d never let you fall, right?”

“
Even if I do fall—” I yawned as I spoke, “I know you’ll be
there to catch me.” I smiled, and as I looked at the eastern
horizon, a flicker of light caught my eye and a trail of silver
glittered across the night. “Did you see that?”

“
A
shooting star.” David nodded. “Make a wish.”

With
my eyes closed, I crossed my heart, and thought,
I wish David would get the happy ending he longs
for.

David stared at me when I opened my eyes again. “Why did you
wish only for
my
happy ending?”

“
Because, then I know that even if our happy ending isn’t
together, you’ll still be happy.”

He
swallowed and looked away. “I thought you said you we’re a selfish
girl.”

“
I
am.” I shrugged. “I didn’t wish for world peace.”

He
snickered softly. “My darling, there are more than enough people in
the world to wish for that. But it requires sacrifice and
tolerance—not hopes and prayers.”

“
Like us,” I said.

“
What do you mean?”

“
I mean, happiness is a possibility for
us—we
can
be
together. It just means a sacrifice on one side.”