Tearing Down Walls (Love Under Construction Series Book 2) (35 page)

“Hi, Laura.” Vic’s voice was soft and low, and something twisted in her belly just hearing him speak, the warmth and smoothness in his tone soaking into her.

“Where’s Nikki? What are you doing here?” Laura looked around – no one else was there. Where had they gone?

Vic fixed his big dark eyes on her. “They thought we needed to talk. I’m inclined to agree. So here I am.”

“Talk about what?” Laura asked. They didn’t have anything to talk about – did they?

“Really? That’s how you want this to go? I don’t know why I bothered.” Vic took a long, sad look at Laura’s face, then turned toward the door.

“No!” He stopped, but he didn’t turn around, and Laura knew he was waiting for her to ask him to stay, but she wasn’t sure she could do that.

After a seeming eternity and a half, he turned and stared at her. “‘No’ what? Do you want to talk to me or not? I must want to talk to you; I called you, several times in fact, and I’ve driven all this way at the drop of a hat for this little
soirée
, which, for the record, I had no part in planning.” He looked down at the floor. “Do you even want to give me a chance? Or do I not even deserve that?”

She wanted to tell him how sorry she was for being so cruel to him, for not even hearing him out. Then she realized – he’d come there from the club. He was still wearing his leathers. A rage passed over her. “You were at the club? What’s wrong? An unlucky night when all the subs already have Doms? No fuckable patrons around?”

The minute she’d spouted the hateful words, Laura regretted it. A darkness fell over Vic’s face, and it scared her a little. He didn’t say anything for several seconds, and the look passed. Then he thundered right toward her, grabbed her upper arm, and dragged her toward the great room. “We’re going to talk. Right now. This gets settled tonight. I can’t live like this.” Laura’s eyebrows shot up into her hairline and she let him pull her in, turn her around, and plop her down onto the sofa.

Perched right on the front edge of the chair next to the sofa, he looked straight into her face with no expression. “I need to know: Do you care anything at all for me? Whether I live or die? Anything?”

Laura was stunned. What difference would it make to him? Why would he even care? “I don’t want anything bad to happen to you, if that’s what you mean.” She couldn’t tell him anything else; she didn’t know how she felt or what to say.

Vic dropped his face into his hands, rubbed his eyes, and looked up at her. “Is that the best you can do?”

Laura’s mouth fell open. “What do you want me to say, Vic? I have no idea what you mean.”

He leaned even closer. “Back in December, I spent an hour, sometimes more, sitting at your bedside every day while you were in the hospital, not knowing if you’d make it or not. I’ve tried everything I can to get inside that icy heart of yours. I sat in the middle of a street, pounding on your chest, begging you not to go – you already know that, you saw me. I’ve told you I’d walk straight into hell if it meant keeping you safe. And you have no idea what I mean? You’re not that stupid.”

He stopped, ran his hands through his hair, and then said, “So I’m going to ask you again: Do you care even the tiniest little bit about me? Because if you don’t, I’ll leave here right now, tell them to come back and take you back to Molly’s, and we’ll never speak of this again – ever. I probably know you better than anyone else, and that’s not well, because you won’t let anyone in, but still better than anyone else. Plus I’ve seen everything –
everything
,” he said, leveling his line of vision at her, “and I’m still here. So what’s it going to be, Laura? The ball’s in your court.”

Laura’s heart was slamming so hard it felt like it was bouncing off her ribcage. Before she could stop herself, she blurted out, “I can’t imagine why you’d care. You’re fucking someone different every night, so where exactly would I fit in?”

Vic didn’t say anything, just got up and left the room. When she heard the front door open, Laura jumped up and ran. “Vic! Vic, don’t leave! I’m sorry! Please!” She hit the foyer and looked up to see him halfway out the door, but he didn’t turn around, just stopped. “Vic, I’m sorry! Please! I just want to understand.”

She heard him sigh. “Do you care enough to try to understand?” He turned, a sad look tainting his perfect face. “If you do, I’ll tell you. I’ll tell you everything. But not if you’re going to use what I tell you to hurt me, to tear me up, slam me down. I’ve had enough of that in my life. I don’t need it anymore.”

A razor-edged dagger went through Laura’s heart. Had she been so harsh that he’d think she’d do that? Yeah – she had, and she knew it. It made her more than uncomfortable; she was embarrassed that she’d been so inhumane to someone who’d been so kind to her. In little more than a whisper, she said, “No. I won’t do that. I would never do that. I’m so sorry. Please, come back in and sit down, tell me what you want me to understand. Because I don’t, I don’t understand at all.”

When he walked back, he came straight up to her and held out his hand. Looking down at it, she remembered; it was so big, but Laura remembered how soft and warm it was, how safe she’d felt when it had held hers. She glanced up at Vic, his gaze level with hers, unwavering, waiting.

Laura reached over and put her hand in his. It felt just like she remembered, and she closed her eyes and tried to quiet all of the noise going on in her head, the screeching and clanging telling her to be afraid. “Let’s go sit down and try to sort all of this out,” she heard Vic say, and she nodded her head.

It was time.

“It’s a pizza buffet! Oh my god, I love these things!” Nikki was as excited as a third grader on a school bus with “Six Flags or Bust!” written all over its windows in shoe polish.

“Good. We won’t have to wait for food. I’m starving,” Tony said, looking the place over.

“Ever been here before?” Bryson asked them.

“No. I guess we ought to make it to the local hotspots a little more often,” Tony told him, making sure Nikki was seated at the table the server had led them to, then taking his seat. “Smells good.”

“This is bringing back some memories.” A sweet, dreamy smile curled the corners of Nikki’s mouth upward, and she looked at Tony and winked.

He turned to Bryson. “Our first date. We went to Vocelli’s Pizza.”

“I’m surprised! I would’ve thought a deep-pockets Walters would’ve gotten a little more fancy,” Bryson said with mock sarcasm.

“Hey, I like to eat with the common folk from time to time,” Tony joked back. “So, Nik, you’re the resident dining expert here. How do I get the kind of pizza I want? I’ve never been to a pizza buffet.”

Her eyes went wide. “Are you kidding? You’ve never been to a pizza buffet? Well, if they don’t have what you want up there, just ask someone behind the counter if they can make it. At most places, when they put it out they call it out, and you can go help yourself. And I can sure help myself!” she laughed.

Forty-five minutes later, she turned to Tony and groaned. “Whew! I’m stuffed. No bedroom olympics for you tonight, big boy. I’ve gotta sleep this pizza drunk off.”

Tony grinned. “Let’s get another pitcher of beer and just hang out. We can’t go back yet. He hasn’t called.”

Bryson nodded. “Sure! Why not? We can just sit here and relax.”

Nikki’s brow crinkled with worry. “Think they’re okay? Maybe we should go back and check.”

“No, I’m sure they’re fine,” Tony said.

Five minutes later she blurted out, “Can we just go back and see about them?”

Bryson spoke up. “I bet they’re having a nice conversation. We should just leave them alone.”

Two more minutes went by and Nikki couldn’t stand it. “Maybe I should just call them and . . .”

“NO!” both men shouted in unison.

“Geez, why don’t you tell me how you
really
feel?” she muttered, looking a little incensed.

“Just leave them alone,” Tony told her and patted her hand. “They’re grownups. They’ll be fine.”

“You’re right. I’m sure they’re fine.” Nikki took her bag from the back of the chair. “I’ll be right back – bathroom.”

Tony looked up at her. “Uh-uh-uh, leave the phone here.” When she looked at him, he held out his hand and made a motion for her to hand her phone over.

Nikki sat back down. “No point in going to the bathroom now,” she groused.

Tony grinned. “Oh, I know you
so
well.” He leaned over and kissed her cheek.

“Damn it, that’s always my downfall,” she laughed and kissed him back.

As Bryson watched, he could feel the sexual energy surrounding them.
Hmmmm,
he thought.
Maybe Fran and I should start spending some time around these two. Wonder if this would rub off?

I’ve got to get better equipment. Either something is wrong with it, or I was mistaken that I saw her leave.
Wagner looked at the screen of the scanning equipment. There was no movement from the house where Billings had been staying. But he was sure he’d seen her get into the police cruiser. Maybe she hadn’t taken it with her; that would explain it.
I’m getting tired of this shit. Maybe if I lay low for awhile, they’ll get complacent and mess up. And I’ll finally get to do it right this time. She’s managed to stay alive three times now. Maybe four is my lucky number.

V
ic told her all he could – about his childhood in Italy, about the years he’d spent in the military, and about Carrie and the other two women, relationships that had ended in disaster. The emotion in his voice was so raw and fresh that it was hard for her to believe it had been years and years before. She didn’t ask one question; she just listened to him as he bared the horrible things he’d endured or done.

“And then Tony asked me to go by and check out the building the club’s in. Steve called him, asked if he’d want to buy it as investment property, and he wanted to know what kind of shape I thought it was in. I had no idea what kind of club it was. Steve invited me to come sometime when it was open. I’d dabbled in the lifestyle when I was younger, but never really gotten serious about it. Then I started thinking about the dedication and discipline required to become an effective and respected Dom, and I thought maybe it would help me curb that, I don’t even know what to call it, fury? Wildness? Whatever it is, I wanted to find a way to keep it under control. Then Steve showed me the sjambok, and when I wanted to learn to use it, he found a martial arts trainer who was familiar with it. And that’s pretty much how it all happened.”

“And does it? Help you with that, whatever it is?” Laura asked. Vic checked her face, and there wasn’t any judgment there, just questioning.

“That’s just it: I don’t know. I haven’t had an instance where it’s been an issue, so either it’s gone or it just hasn’t been triggered. I’d like to think it’s gone. But this is the first hope I’ve had in a long time that maybe I could have a real relationship with someone and not have to be afraid of hurting her.”

Laura took a deep breath. It was a lot to take in, but she still didn’t understand it all. “But help me understand: You’re having sex with these people? How can you do that? I don’t get it at all.”

“I don’t have sex with all of them, Laura, just the ones who want or need that. I’m not getting paid; I’m not a man whore. This is all consensual and negotiated beforehand. I went into this with my eyes wide open. Even though I’d been in the lifestyle before, I spent three weeks with the trainer and Steve, immersing myself in the lifestyle and culture all over again. I wasn’t just schooled in the use of the implement; Steve taught me to be a Dom, and the responsibilities that go along with the designation. This has been his thing for a very long time, and I don’t know anyone else who knows more about it than Steve. But it’s not about the sex, not at all; for Steve, maybe, but not for me. That doesn’t mean anything to me. It’s just a physical release, a relief, in truth. It’s been almost three years since I’ve been with a woman, and these women appreciate my skills. So do their Doms who, for the record, are most often their husbands or boyfriends. Sometimes they want to learn something new, or have an experience their partner or partners can’t provide for them. And then there are others . . .” he trailed off, thinking of Evie.