Team Niklas (The Saints Team #3) (17 page)

Nik trailed his fingers over the
fabric of my lingerie. “Magnificent, Sah-sha, you are the most beautiful woman
I have ever seen.”

I think I flushed three shades of
red, as I’ve never been called beautiful. I’ve been called lots of flattering
things, but even Adam-the-ex never said I was beautiful.

Nik slightly lifted my baby doll
skirt to admire the matching lace panties and with a grin, turned me around and
undid the satin bow. He turned me back around to face him and gradually slipped
it off until I was standing in front of him in only see-through lilac panties.
Then, he growled and licked me. I squealed with his tongue tickling me and he
picked me up, turned me around and placed me on the bed... and he kept licking
and laughing as I reacted to his tongue. I watched him, this beautiful man,
teasing me, laughing, fuck I loved him, fuck I was hopeless.

I stopped giggling as soon as he
started sliding my panties down revealing more places to lick. He made this
guttural sound... nothing like he made during dinner so obviously this dish was
more appealing. He opened my legs to him and had my complete attention.

“Are you okay?” He stopped and
looked at me.

“Uh huh,” I nodded, leaning up on
my elbows. “Why?”

“You stopped breathing,” he said,
matter-of-factly, “relax, breathe.”

“Breathe, right,” I said, and fell
back flat on the bed. I heard him chuckle.

“Now this is a dessert I would
give ten out of ten for,” he said, and before I could respond he sucked on my
clit, the heat electrifying my whole body and I cried out with surprise and
pleasure. His hands gripped my legs, holding me down.

His warm breath teased me and then
his fingers pulled open my lips and the tip of his tongue found parts that
reacted wildly to his touch.

“Holy fuck, Nik,” I said, well I
think I said that... it might have been more like “holy Nik fuck,” I can’t
remember now in my state of ecstasy but I don’t think it made sense. He began
to suck hard and I mean suck, anything that could be sucked was sucked and
sucked so well. I arched and moaned, wriggled and got in trouble for wriggling
and then his finger entered me and another tweaked my nipple and still his
tongue worked—it wasn’t fair to be so good.

Then the weirdest thing happened,
I started to get emotional—knowing this was Nik touching me, this wonderful man
who had made me so happy and made me feel so safe, that tears flowed down my
face as I moaned with pleasure. Nik went for the kill, trailing his tongue to my
clit and working it until I couldn’t bear any more. I screamed, really screamed
as I came, my body clenched, my muscles drew so tight that I wish he was in me
to feel it. He moved up the bed to hold me, embracing me while I came down and
trust me that took a while.

“
Sah-sha
!” His eyes widened with alarm and he raised my head
to look at him. He wiped tears off my cheek. “Did I hurt you?” he asked.

I
shook my head. “I just love that the man I love is so good at making love to
me. I’m a crybaby.”

He
visibly relaxed and smiled. “You are beautiful, my Süsse.”

“I
wish you were in me then, when I came, so you could feel me coming,” I said,
running my fingers over his face and slight stubble.

“Next
time,” he said.

“But
now, I want you in my mouth, inside me, I want to taste you,” I said, getting
my lust for him back in focus. I pushed him off his side and onto his back and
ordered him up the bed. I sat on his legs and ran my fingers over his
fabric-covered penis; truly breathtaking how good he looked tonight and how hot
his body was.

“I’ve
never, ever seen such a body,” I said, returning the favor. He reached for me
but I had a better idea. “Nik, I want you to lie back, behave and leave this to
me.”

He
grinned. “Not sure I can leave it entirely to you, Sarsh.”

“On
the contrary, you’re very good at following orders... there’s a lot to be said
for conscription.” I moved up to sit on his erection and he warned me.

“You’re
playing with fire there,” he said, with a hitched breath, “besides conscription
has been abolished now.”

“Not
in this bedroom buddy,” I said. “I want you to think of me as your commanding
officer—Major Sasha.”

Nik
laughed and stopped abruptly as I leapt off him and headed for the bathroom.

“Something
I said?” he called after me.

“Stay
where you are, recruit,” I teased, returning with the two white toweling ties
from the complimentary dressing gowns.

“Uh
oh,” he said, and looked a bit apprehensive.

“Trust
me?” I said, flexing one at him. This was not just an exercise in fun sex, he
had to trust me to see his scars without being self-conscious or trying to
reach for his t-shirt.

He
hesitated. “Okay,” he nodded, “I guess I knew you were never going to be
conventional.”

I
grinned at that and taking one wrist I tied it to the bed head. I moved to the
other side to do the same. His arms were now spread-eagled on the bed and he
watched me with desire and caution.
I climbed back onto him.

“This is good,” I said, rocking as
I sat on his erection which was still in his briefs. I pulled his nipples and
leaned down to give him a very long, wet kiss. His erection thumped beneath me
and he bucked, trying to get my attention down below. I stopped kissing him and
pulled away, studying his lovely glazed expression. I ran my nails over his
chest and sidled down his legs as I ran my fingers over his boxers.

“I hate not being able to touch
you, Sah-sha,” he said, with a low growl.

“And I love being able to
completely touch you.” I bit my lip and gave him a teasing look. He smiled and
shook his head.

I returned to kissing him, long,
wet, seductive kissing as I writhed on his erection, not releasing him yet from
his boxers. He groaned and strained against his bonds. I swallowed his pleas
and eventually pulled away from his lips, a little dizzy myself.

“Holy fuck, Sah-sha, I almost
came,” he said.

I wanted him as badly as he wanted
me; I just loved seeing and touching every inch of him. I moved to his
boxer-briefs and released just the top of his erection. It had been straining
to get out for ages. I ran a tongue around the dark red head and he swore and
strained again. All his muscles were taut—fucking amazing. I pulled his boxers
completely off and climbed back on him to lick him. I licked his balls, working
my way up the length of him, teasing him, spreading the bead of pre-cum around
the head of his penis, making him strain even more.

I took just the head of his penis
in my mouth, and moved it in and out of my lips. Then I slid his whole penis as
far as I could into my mouth, flicking my tongue, sucking and releasing and listening
to him swear and feeling him buck. I loved giving. When it was wet all over and
Nik was threatening to come, I pulled away.

“Let me touch you,” he begged,
trying to free his hands.

“No Nik, I’m going to ride you and
you won’t have any say when you come, so relax.” I threw the word back at him
that he often said to me. I reached for the condom he had on the bedside table
and slipped it on. He groaned as if I was punishing him and then I lowered
myself onto his erection. I began to ride up and down the length of his penis,
my hands on his broad shoulders, while I controlled the speed. I kissed him, I
rubbed my breasts against his chest and then I sped up.

He came with a loud roar, his
whole body strained and as he came, I used one hand to release him from his
ties. He bolted upright, pulling me tight against him as he continued to power
inside me. His face was buried in my neck and his grip on me was so tight that
I swear he was never going to let me go.

Eventually, his body relaxed into
mine and he stroked my hair. We fell back onto the pillows.

“You’re very bad, Sah-sha,” he
said, with a smile, “I may have to punish you for that.”

I laughed. “Yes please.”

He rose, dealt with the condom...
while I watched him come and go... marvelous, then he came back and pulled me
into his arms. I was in heaven.

*****

In the early hours of the morning, my hand reached out
for him—Nik was moaning, talking and groaning in his sleep. I looked to the
clock, five a.m., and still so dark outside. He tossed suddenly and said
something in German. He called out again and his body began to shudder. He
repeated a few words in German.

“Nik,” I said, trying to stir him
without completely waking him. I placed my hand on his chest and his eyes shot
open, his chest rattled with a large gasp of air and he reeled back from me,
staring as though he didn’t know me. He glanced around trying to get his
bearings. He was shaking and then his eyes focused on me.

“Sah-sha,” he panted, and sat up.

“It’s okay, you’re safe,” I said,
using Anton’s words from earlier.

He balanced his elbows on his
knees, the sheet pooling around him, and rocked slightly. “Fuck,” he muttered
again, his fingers massaging his temples.

I sat up next to him, placing my
hand on his back and he flinched with my touch. He was still breathing way too
fast.

“I’m sorry I woke you,” he panted.
He ran his tongue over his lower lip and then ran his hands over his face.

“What were you seeing?” I asked,
and he shook his head.

I stroked his back for a few more
minutes and then I lay back down and, grabbing his arm, I pulled him towards
me. I directed his head to my chest and he allowed me to hold him. I stroked
him, his hair and back, until his breathing returned to normal and his body
stilled and that’s how we stayed. I wondered if tying him up had contributed to
his flashback or nightmare; I hoped not.

I think my Nik, my strong man,
needed help for some of those skeletons in his closet. An hour later, he rose
and whispered he was going for a run. I imagined him running around Central
Park in the pre-dawn light getting the demons out of his head, as I lay alone
in bed missing him.

Chapter 21

I heard Nik return from his run and hit the shower. Ten minutes later he
crawled back into bed beside me, naked and smelling fresh. He spooned me,
wrapped his arms around me and inhaled.

“Mm, you smell delicious and warm,” he said, snuggling
up to me.

I gripped his strong arms, loving the feel of him
against me.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

“I am,” he said, and said no more.

“Does running help?” I asked, pushing him a little to
open up.

I felt him hesitate before answering. “It expels a lot
of stress...”

“You could talk to me, I won’t be horrified, you won’t
put me off you,” I told him. Again he said nothing. I continued: “It might
help... you know, sharing and trusting me.”

“I trust you Sarsh, I just... I know how to deal with
it myself. It’s nothing, don’t worry about it,” he said, and shut me down.

I felt kind of pissed off, like I had been dismissed.
I got that he didn’t want to talk about it, but he was happy to ask me a
hundred questions about my family, my divorce and to let me be open and trust
him.

He started to move, to touch me and the feel of his
hands teasingly rising under my tank sent tingles all over me. I pushed his
hand away.

“I’ve already come. I know how to deal with it when I
need it, don’t worry about it,” I said, quoting his words back at him. Was that
childish? Give a fuck, this works both ways.

He pulled away and pulled me over on my back to look
at him. I couldn’t work out from his expression if he was angry, bewildered or
both.

He ran his gaze over my face, breathed out a deep sigh
and then his jaw locked. I returned the favor, holding his gaze, giving him a
pouty, locked jaw look too. Mine was better than his I think. Eventually he
spoke.

“Sarsh, I don’t know what to tell you... there’s some
things I want to keep from you but that doesn’t mean I don’t trust you,” he
said.

“There’s things I want to keep from you too, Nik,” I
said. He looked a little surprised. Using one of my brother’s counseling
expressions, I threw it at Nik. “How does that make you feel?”

He frowned. “I guess a bit suspicious, a bit worried
that you feel you can’t share stuff with me.”

“But you might not like me if you know everything,” I
said, continuing to use his logic.

He made a scoffing sound. “Nothing you could tell me
would make that happen.” He lay down closer to me. “I know what you’re doing
Sah-sha. If you think I don’t trust you, then you are wrong.” He ran his
fingers through my hair as he stared into my eyes. “If you think I don’t want
you to know me, that’s not true either. I just... I just don’t want you to see
me that way.”

“What? Brave, a survivor, a fighter, tender,
sensitive, sharing?” I asked.

He shrugged.

“Tell me about your childhood Nik,” I said. I lay
side-on, resting on my arm and he turned onto his back and exhaled. Clearly he
didn’t want to, and I waited, watching him. I could almost hear his thoughts
ticking over so I started him.

“Did your parents die?” I asked.

He gave a small, shake of the head. I didn’t push that
angle.

“But you were in the foster care system or was it an
orphanage?”

“Foster care. A lot of foster care.”

“Why?”

He shrugged. “Sometimes people can take a few kids,
sometimes things change and they have to give them back. Other times it was
only ever meant to be temporary but if you’re lucky, you get a good foster
family and can stay with them for a long time.”

He wasn’t making eye contact with me, just staring at
the ceiling. I placed my hand on his chest and stroked him.

“Did you have a good family?” I continued to lead him.

“Not until my coach took me in. I was a bit rebellious
for a while, so I got ditched a lot. Then I learned to keep a low profile and
stayed in the same place for a few years. Then another kid and I scored a
couple who started out okay but it turned out bad,” he said.

“Is that where you got the scars?” I said, running a
finger over some of them. Nik flinched as I touched a few.

“I think they were happy when they took us in, but she
had an affair. You don’t understand that as a kid, but when I think back now on
their fights, I think that’s what it was about.” He began to accept my affection
and leaned up to put his arm under me, pulling me against his chest. “They
started fighting a lot and Joachim—that’s the other kid they fostered—we just
tried to stay below the radar. I was twelve then, Jo was about nine.”

“What happened? Did they stay together?” I asked.

“No. He started belting her, she started drinking,
staying out more, having the affair. He started hitting us as well, and
eventually they came to remove us. I don’t know what happened to Joachim, never
saw him again. But that’s when my first coach and his wife took me in—Sebastian
and Britta. They were in their thirties and had no kids, I don’t know why, I
didn’t ask. But that was the best thing to ever happen to me... I stayed with
them from thirteen until I was twenty.”

I smiled, seeing him smile. “Do you stay in touch with
them?”

“Sure. My room is still there. Anytime I’m home,
Britta insists I stay there and Seb calls me the day after every match to
analyze the game. He’s a very good coach and mentor. I got lucky.”

“So how did these happen?” I asked, touching his scars
again. “Did your foster father do more than just hit you?”

Nik signed; he seemed to be resigned to telling me
now. “Some nights he needed somewhere to put his cigarette out,” Nik said, and
I gasped. “See, this is why I don’t want to tell you these things, you’ll get
upset.”

“I am upset, but I’d be more upset not knowing you.
And these?” I asked, looking at a series of small scars.

“Just from stitches,” he said.

“From stitches!”

“A few cuts and hits, that’s all.” He stopped.

“Didn’t you tell someone? Didn’t Anton notice, or your
teachers?” I asked, raising my chin from his chest to question him.

“I made Anton promise not to tell,” he said.

“Why?”

Nik shrugged. “I didn’t want anyone to know.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” I said.

“Süsse, when you’re a kid in foster care, everything
is your fault. Adults aren’t wrong.”

I drew a deep breath, taking in all the awful images I
had of a young, blond boy being mistreated and in pain, and alone. “How did
they find out or did they separate first and then you were removed?” I asked.

“They took Jo and me away after I was hospitalized.”

I gasped again.

“He went a bit too far with his fists and broke a rib
or two and knocked me unconscious. Then they took us both out of that house.”

I couldn’t believe the words that were coming from his
mouth.

“Nik, it’s so awful. How can any adult do that?” I
said. “It’s a weird world—here you have my parents who undertook a dozen IVF
cycles to have us and yet there are people who can just push kids out of the
womb and they’re not fit to be parents. I wish my family could have rescued you
and adopted you.”

He grinned. “I’m glad they didn’t. We would have been
like stepbrother and stepsister which would make this very awkward.”

“True,” I said, thinking about that technicality. “So,
do you have any happy childhood memories?”

“Of course,” he said, a little defensively.

“Tell me one to cheer me up,” I said.

“You tell me one first,” he said, deflecting again.

“Okay,” I thought. “Our house was always a bit crazy,
not always in a good way. Mum and Dad both worked, there were five kids and we
weren’t that close as kids, not like we are now. Saffy and I were close of
course but having three older brothers meant you had to compete for everything.
They destroyed everything we owned and teased us a lot too.”

“Is that why you like living alone?” Nik asked.

I looked up at him. “I don’t know, I hadn’t thought of
it in that context before, but maybe. I think my happiest memories were the
holidays. We were always camping or caravanning, fishing, swimming, learning to
surf or paddle. We spent most of our holidays busy and outdoors and Mum and Dad
took time off work and spent it with us. Those were the best times.”

Nik nodded and looked at the ceiling as he thought.

“I think the best time for me ever was when I was
thirteen and I went to live with Seb and Britta. I’ll never forget when they
showed me through to the room that would be mine,” he grinned and looked at me.
“It was the first time I ever had something that was mine—my own room, my own
bed, a desk, a chair, a cupboard and some clothes in it. I kept waiting for it
to disappear.”

I ran my hand gently over his chest as he spoke. I
couldn’t imagine it. I always shared a room with Saffy, but that was different.
I still had plenty, I was given so much and here was Nik waiting for it all to
vanish.

He took a deep breath and continued. “For the first
few months, I would wake at night and get up. I’d touch the desk and chair,
check in the wardrobe and if everything as still there, I’d go back to bed.  It’s
a bit embarrassing now, but one time Britta removed some of my things to wash
them and she found me crying in the corner of the room. I thought she was
packing my things for me to go.”

Tears welled in my eyes as he told me the story. Such
a different world from everything I had ever known.

“After that, she would always tell me it was washing
day… for years after.”

We sat in silence for a while until he rolled off his
back, pushed me on mine and edged up my top.

“Did you really do it without me?” he asked.

“Are you kidding? Of course not. Why would I use the
hand when I have the master?” I teased him.

Nik smiled and nudged my top up all the way. His
tongue found my nipple and we became just a little closer from shared relations
on several levels.