Teach Me To Live (Teach Me - Book One) (24 page)

“Are you scared?”

Fuck me, I knew what he was asking. And it killed me to know that I had to give it to him straight. I’d always given it to Kai straight. I wasn’t about to stop doing that now. “I am. But not of dying.”

“Of what then?” He frowned, looking to me with an expression that told me he thought I was a little loopy. Maybe I was.

“I’m afraid of leaving her.”

He closed his eyes and hung his head between his shoulders. He looked devastated. “You do love her.”

“More than I ever thought I could love another soul,” I replied, knowing before I spoke the words that they would rock him. “She’s everything to me, Kai.”

“I’ll be here,” his voice shook and I knew he was crying. My big strong brother was crying. “I’ll be here when you’re gone, when you can’t be—for her.”

My throat closed and my heart ached at the same time that a smile spread over my face. “I know you will, Kai. She doesn’t have many friends and she’ll need one.”

“I’ll be here.” He repeated and the sound was so high and devastating, I hit him in the shoulder.

“Man,” I shook my head, hating that my brother was feeling what he was feeling. “I’m okay.”

“I know you are,” he growled. “I fucking hate that you are.”

I laughed and so did he. When the laughter died and heavy silence ensnared us once again, I asked, “Can I ask you for one last thing?”

“Anything.” The look in his eyes told me that I could have asked for the moon and he would have tried to find a way to pluck it from the very sky.

“Help me make August the best month I’ve ever lived. Let’s make it an adventure unlike anything we’ve ever had,” I felt salt sting my eyes. “Help me show her how beautiful living is.”

“I can,” he cracked and a sob sounded. “I can do that—for you.”

I listened to the ringing in my ear and waited for Austin to pick up his phone. I was driving out to meet him at his house and I was in the mood for coffee. There was no way I was stopping and getting myself something without getting Austin and Kaiden something too. That would just be rude. So alas, here I was waiting for Austin to answer his phone.

Finally, when I was certain it was about to go to voicemail, he answered. “Hey, beautiful.”

He sounded so breathless. I wondered what he was doing? “Hi.”

“You on your way?”

“Not exactly,” I set to explaining. “I really wanted a coffee so I stopped. Now I’m wondering what I should get you and Kaiden.”

“Oh, uh,” he paused. “What are you getting?”

“The only thing I ever get. A caramel macchiato.”

“Get something other than a caramel macch-i-whatever you just said.”

“Why would I do that?”

“Because you might like something else more,” I could hear him grinning, but I wasn’t even close to finding this amusing in the least. “Living is about trying new things, sweetheart. Have fun with it.”

I huffed. I wasn’t even a little bit pleased by the thought of walking out of this coffee house without my drink. That was just preposterous; people didn’t do things like this to themselves. They didn’t walk into a coffee house and order something new. Coffee was one of those things that just shouldn’t change. Still though, I grumbled, “Fine.”

He laughed. “That’s my girl.”

I huffed again. “What about you and Kaiden?”

“How about you surprise us.”

In the background, I heard Kaiden yell something like, “Not a good idea man,” and I had to agree that he was probably right.

“Fine. I can do that too.”

“Okay, I’ll see you soon.”

By the time I pulled into Austin’s driveway, all the ice in the iced lattes I’d purchased for them had melted. Still, it was the thought that counted. I’d chosen a cinnamon drink that was absolutely to die for. Seriously, I had half a mind to thank Austin for persuading me to order this. I might even like this more than my regular, which I had every day for almost a year. Yes, I’ll be the first to admit that I am somewhat addicted to coffee lattes. But, in all fairness, the coffee house was my time away from my life, before I had met Austin.

The day that he came into my life with his dark jeans, colored tattoos, and almost obsidian hair, was the day that I changed. It was the day that I began breathing. The day my heart began to beat. Austin had inspired me in ways I could never possibly thank him for, but I intended on spending many, many years, cooking up new ways to show him my appreciation. I planned on spending many years showing him every day that I loved him, even though I had yet to admit my feelings aloud to him.

Carrying the tray of drinks from my SUV, I walked across the gravel of his driveway and up the porch of the trailer. It was another hot day. I wore a cute vibrant green tank top that fell in loose but clingy fabric and a cutoff pair of dark jean shorts. I knew I looked good, but it wasn’t for a lack of effort. I had changed at least six times before coming to see Austin.

Today was the day that I was meeting Raina. She had been on schedule to come home from Calgary last week, but something had delayed her. Now, she was coming and she was spending the month of August. Apparently this was tradition.

I’ve heard Raina was awesome with a capital A. Still, I was nervous. When I say nervous, I mean I was fretting a little more with every minute that passed me by.

I’d never been one of those girls who had girl friends. That just hadn’t been me. I wasn’t exactly a looser, but I wasn’t popular. I could have been, I think, if it had been something I had wanted to be. But I never had wanted that for myself. The girls in the popular crowd were just so backstabbing. They never passed up the chance to talk about one of their friends behind their backs, belittling their choices, their actions, and their thoughts, before turning around and supporting them with big bright fake smiles. Those smiles made me sick. From grade seven on when the drama began, I’d kind of isolated myself from the people I went to school with. I was happier alone. I was safer. At least, that was what I told myself.

However, there was no avoiding Raina. She was coming to visit Austin and Kaiden and no matter the anxiety I felt creeping up inside of me at the thought of sharing Austin with her, I knew I wouldn’t run. I couldn’t run from Austin.

Because I couldn’t run the way I longed to do, I knew I had to find a way to bury my fear of befriending a girl, and at least try.

Taking in a deep breath, I walked into the front door and instantly caught sight of Austin standing in the kitchen. He had a bottle of water pressed against his lips and he was drinking deeply. His shirt was off and tucked into the waistband of his black shorts, leaving his jaw dropping number of tattoos on display.

My mouth turned dry. “Hi,”

He lowered the bottle from his lips and sucked in a deep breath. He grinned. “Hey sweetheart,” his eyes looked down to the drinks. “What did you get us?”

“Iced Lattes,” I shrugged. “I figured it was too warm for you and Kaiden to get an actual coffee.”

“It is,” he agreed, moving toward me. “And did you choose something other than your machi-thingy?”

“I did,” I giggled. “But it’s a macchiato not a machi-thingy.”

His hand moved to take the tray from me, setting it on the counter, he pulled my front against his own. “And what did you end up choosing?”

“A cinnamon latte.”

“What do you think of this new drink?” He dipped his head so his face was close to mine. “Was it a good idea to try something new?”

Oh, goodness, this was definitely going to stroke his ego. “Yes,” I admitted almost begrudgingly. ‘”It’s quite delicious.”

He laughed and then his lips touched mine. “I’m happy you decided to mess with your routine. Typically, for me, it’s worth it.”

“You’re unlike anyone I’ve ever known, Austin.” I spoke against his lips, quite liking the feel of his hard chest beneath my fingertips. “The way you view life is something that should be shared with as many people as possible. I think there would be a lot more smiling faces on the streets.”

Again, he grinned. “I like you a lot, Madison,” he said. His thumb moved to draw tiny circular motions into the loose material of my shirt. “But I really gotta finish that bike I’m working on outside.”

He sounded so regrettable it was cute. I tried to keep my giggle under lock and key and then I failed. “Okay,” I moved forward again. “I suppose I’ll just have to wait for you. And I’ll think about kissing you rather than actually kissing you.”

He groaned deep and low in his throat. And then his big hands were circling my waist and I was hauled up against him. A thrill of delight moved through me as I wrapped my legs around his waist, my arms folding over his shoulders. His mouth landed on mine and then he was walking from the kitchen in the direction of his bedroom.

Excitement and want pulsed through my body as he moved. Every step he took felt like an explosion of fire tore through my body. And then I heard the sound of his door clicking closed and I was on my back on his bed. Austin landed on top of me, his mouth wasting no time in connecting with mine.

His kisses were hot and wild. They weren’t slow and measured, but filled with an angst and hunger I yearned in the deepest recesses of my soul to satisfy. I let myself go, dissolving into the sweet heat of his kiss. I let myself feel and I let myself be consumed in all that was Austin.

I don’t know how long we kissed, completely consumed by one another, but when he pulled away, I knew that however long it had been, it hadn’t been long enough. I could have spent all of eternity kissing him and it would never have been long enough.

“We should stop before we . . .” He paused sounding breathless. Then he dropped his face into the nook between my shoulder and my neck and sighed. For a long while, I just listened to him breathe.

“We should stop before we what?” I asked when it became clear he had no intention of continuing.

He lifted his head and his blue eyes connected with mine. The impact of his eyes was one thing, but the impact of his words was a whole other. “Before we can’t.”

My breath caught and I felt my body engulf in a delicious heat the same time as shivers shook me to the very core.

There was a very large part of me that didn’t want to stop. There was a very large part of me, a pressing part, that wanted to lose control with Austin. I wanted to push to the point where stopping wasn’t an option. I wanted that—intensity. One could even say I needed it. But still, wanting and needing it didn’t make this time the right time. Because it wasn’t.

I knew that one day I would be with Austin. One day, I would have him, and hold him, and lose myself in him. But that day wasn’t today. And that was okay.

So, rather than telling him I didn’t mind getting to the point where we could no longer stop, I nodded and said, “Okay.”

When I walked back into the kitchen after Austin ravished me on his bed like a hot and bothered caveman, I found Kaiden standing with his back against the kitchen counter. He was sucking from the straw of the iced latte I’d bought him, still managing to grin his signature grin.

“This is pretty good, babe,” he took another long pull from the straw. “You can surprise me any time.”

I blushed, because the way Kaiden said that was just—well, it was all Kaiden. And Kaiden was flirty with a capital F. Hell, Kaiden was flirty and every letter in the word was a capital. The man was a mastermind at making the female species blush. Actually, on second thought, the Weir brothers were masterminds at making the female species blush, because I had never blushed so many times in my life as I did around these two brothers.

Still, I replied with a small, “Noted.”

Kaiden laughed and that was when Austin made his appearance from the hall that led to his bedroom. “Are you teasing her again, Kai?”

“Would I really do that to her?”

“Yes.” Both Austin and I answered together. And then I laughed as Austin came to wrap his arm around my waist.

“You going to come sit with me while I finish up this job?” He asked, ignoring the satisfied smirk on Kaiden’s face.

“Sure. Why not.”

“Great.” He pulled me gently to the door, but not without first reaching for his now warm iced latte.