“Week before last you were home every day before five. This week we’re gone before you get home.”
“Are you stalking me now?”
Busted.
“No,” I backpedal. “It’s just an observation.”
She smirks at me, not believing a word I say, which she shouldn’t, since I’m full of shit.
“What brings you over tonight?”
The smile is still on her face, but there’s also an air of sadness surrounding her. Any other time when a woman presents with emotional drama, I’d do my best to remove myself from the situation. For some reason, though, I’m finding myself actually wanting to know why the light I’m used to seeing in her eyes is dull.
“I saw your company leave.”
She cocks an eyebrow up. “It’s been dark for hours. Were you just driving by and noticed them leaving or have you been sitting next door waiting for them to leave?”
Busted again.
I ignore her question and busy myself swatting away the bugs that are swarming around her porch light.
She watches me and glances back over her shoulder to the screen door.
“Damn it,” she mumbles. “Come inside.” She’s the one offering, but at the same time, she’s acting like I’m forcing her invitation.
I’m not going to turn it down, but I take note of her annoyance at the suggestion.
I follow her through the house to the den; the very room she told me previously she spends a lot of her time in. I can’t help but glance at the living room in all its outdated glory. Nothing seems out of the ordinary. I don’t even know what I’m looking for, dishevelment maybe? Justin wasn’t here very long after the others left. I’m not discounting the notion that he may be a quick in-and-out kind of guy, but Lexi doesn’t look like she’s been thoroughly fucked.
I smile at the thought. It means I’ll be even more appealing to her.
It’s apparent she’s invaded my senses and is doing something to my integrity, because before Lexi came along I’d never even consider poaching another man’s girl. Add that to the fact that it’s Justin Bland, and I’m all for stepping on toes to get what I want.
“Your reason for visiting?” Lexi asks again as she settles on a comfortable looking couch.
I look around the room and nod in appreciation. I honestly didn’t know how the lime green was going to look since it’s such an off the wall color, but somehow she’s made it work.
“Justin Bland?” I say. “You turn me down for Justin Bland?”
“What are you talking about?” She honestly looks confused.
“I saw him leave. Nice little PDA on the front porch.”
She narrows her eyes, and I know I need to tone it down a bit.
Even though my brain tells me to back off, my mouth just keeps digging the hole. “You told me you weren’t available. I get that, but Justin Bland? You could do so much better than him.”
“Seriously?” she says with more than a little aggravation in her voice.
“I guarantee spending time with me would be much more enjoyable than him. Time is precious,” I add. “You shouldn’t be wasting it on him.”
“That a fact?”
“Yep,” I nod in agreement and sit in an armchair across from her.
“Who do you think you are?” I don’t respond, assuming the question is rhetorical. “You don’t get to dictate who I spend time with.”
She has a point, but I’m nowhere near giving up on the idea of getting her naked.
I watch as she brings her hand to her face. Her fingers pinch the bridge of her nose, and my smile falls. I’m upsetting her, seriously upsetting her. This isn’t one of our back and forth banter conversations like we had last week. I suddenly remember the sadness in her eyes on the front porch, and I want to kick my own ass for being such a shithead.
“I’m not dating Justin,” she says quietly.
Thank fuck.
“So he’s not competition?”
She looks up at me. “Competition for what?”
“You,” I simply say.
“I’m not a conquest, Kegan.”
“Of course you are.” Hello, asshole. “I only ask about Justin because I need to know what’s standing in my way.”
“I’m not a fucking toy. You wanting to fight over me for whatever end you think is there is ridiculous.” Her anger is growing exponentially, as it should with the stupid shit that just came out of my mouth.
I have nothing left in my arsenal since my panty-dropping smile doesn’t seem to work on her.
We spend the next couple of minutes just looking at each other. The longer I catalog her face and that soft spot on her neck right below her ear, the more determined I am to get her in bed. Who am I kidding? Bent over the couch, up against the wall, or on the floor would suit me just fine
“Justin Bland is my cousin,” she says finally breaking the silence. “Our mothers were sisters.”
I want to smile at her admission, but even I have the sense to know now is not the right time.
I sit back further in my chair and spread my legs wide. When I rest my hands in my lap, I notice her eyes following them, resting a few inches lower than my hands.
My lip twitches as I remain silent while her eyes pause on my crotch. I clear my throat abruptly. If she keeps gawking at my jeans, she’s going to get more than an eyeful since my cock is already thickening at her attention.
Her eyes snap to mine, and she has the decency to blush at being caught.
I grin at her.
“You’re incorrigible,” she snaps.
“Don’t put this off on me, Lexi. You’re the one staring at my dick, not the other way around.”
She cuts her eyes to the other side of the room, and once again I can’t read her mood.
The urge to ask her if she’s bipolar skates across my mind, but somehow I’m able to keep the question off my lips. With the way her emotions seem to be all over the place tonight, I run a real risk of her killing me and burying my body next door at the job site.
“Why are you here, Kegan?”
I grin from ear to ear. She’s asking a question she already knows the answer to.
Lexi
The glint in his eyes and the huge grin on his face explains exactly what his intentions are. I should expect nothing less from Kegan Cole. The man emanates sex appeal without even trying. I can see why women probably throw themselves at him. It’s probably the reason he’s struggling so much with my numerous rejections.
My own lips tingle, an automatic response to his domineering personality.
Wasn’t I just thinking a distraction would be the best thing for me right now?
The only problem is using Kegan as a distraction has disastrous consequences of epic proportions. A decision like the one he’s expecting me to make right now, shouldn’t be done when I’m in this mind frame.
The anniversary of the car wreck is clouding my judgment and forcing my emotions all over the place.
“What’s it gonna be, beautiful?”
The tone of his voice and the way he’s already concluded I’m a sure thing grates on my nerves, but it doesn’t stop me from wondering exactly how much he could change my mood. I watch his fingers stretch out and curl back up on his solid thighs.
Am I actually considering this? Would letting him take my mind off the shit bouncing around in my head be worth the repercussions if anyone found out? Would that type of fallout be worth the hour or so of distraction he may be able to provide?
I could easily say my brain is fighting my baser urges, but honestly half of my brain is on Team Get It Over With.
I’m fighting a losing battle here.
What does it matter if I sleep with him today or two weeks from now when he finds another reason to show up at my house and tempt my resolve with his quirky smile and gorgeous blue eyes? That’s the fact, plain and simple. I will eventually cave to him. I know it as sure as I know that no matter how much grief is controlling my emotions right now, that the sun will rise again tomorrow.
“What do you mean?” I ask trying to stall until I can think of something else to say.
He remains silent with nothing but a grin on his face.
“Why are you here, Kegan?” This is the third time I’ve asked the question. The first two times have gone unanswered. I know the answer; I’m not an idiot, but I need him to verbalize his intention.
I stiffen when he leans in, placing his elbows on his knees. The action causes the sleeves of his t-shirt to strain around his thick biceps.
“You know why I’m here, Lexi.”
Still not really an answer.
“You want to get laid.” I swallow roughly and place my focus on one of the loose strings hanging on to a tear in the knee of my jeans.
“I want to fuck
you
,” he clarifies. “Look at me, Lexi,” he demands.
My eyes shoot up to his.
“Don’t deny yourself, beautiful.”
“A quick fuck is what you’re looking for?”
He chuckles softly. “Quick? No babe, I got all night.”
The sensual promise makes me want to clench my thighs together, but the stupid pet name infuriate me.
I stand suddenly from the couch, my decision instantly made.
“You want to fuck?” I ask grabbing the hem of my t-shirt. “Let’s fuck.”
His smile falters as I pull my shirt over my head and toss it on the table in front of me. I can sense his uneasiness at my angry aggression, but it doesn’t stop him from staring at my breasts encased in a lacy bra that covers absolutely nothing.
I use the toe of one shoe to begin kicking off the other. Once they’re cast to the side, I begin to unbutton my pants.
“No expectations right?”
“None,” he confirms watching my hand work my zipper down.
“Let’s do it then. I’ve lost everything else. Why not throw my damn dignity into the pile so it can burn right along with the rest.”
Tears of anger and grief flood my eyes and fall down my face.
“Lexi,” Kegan says trying to get my attention. I don’t look up at him. If I meet his gaze, I’ll lose my determination.
I continue to undress, shoving my jeans down past my knees and kicking them off.
I sense movement from across the room and look up, even though it’s the last thing I should do.
Kegan darts up from his chair and makes his way toward me.
“Lexi!” he shouts when I unsnap my bra and add it to the pile of discarded clothing. “Stop.”
I don’t listen to him. I hook my fingers into the lace of my panties at each hip and start to shove them down as well.
He grabs my hands roughly to keep me from getting entirely naked. I close my eyes as violent sobs threaten to make their way up the back of my throat.
“Not like this,” he says with more kindness than I ever would’ve thought he is capable of.
He shifts his weight, and the soft fabric of the throw blanket from the back of my couch is wrapped around my shoulders.
“Not like this,” he says again as he pulls me against his chest. “When I finally get inside of you, the only tears you’ll be crying will be tears of pleasure.”
He moves us, leaning back to sit on the couch gently urging me to follow him. What would all of his conquests think if they saw him now? I can’t imagine anything more out of character than Kegan Cole comforting a crying woman.
He holds me to his side and whispers soothing comforts in my ear. My head is lowered and tucked against his shirt. Even in my despair, I can appreciate just how good he smells. Pure masculinity, sweat, and the slightest hint of cologne or body wash infiltrate my senses. He’s been working outside on a job site all day, and he smells amazing.
I inhale deeper and hope it’s convincing enough to pass as only trying to calm my sobs.
“Did you just sniff me?” Geez, this man has no filter.
“No,” I say pulling my head off of his chest. I wipe at my eyes removing tears from my cheeks. They continue to fall even with my effort and determination to halt them.
“Hey,” he says quietly. “No more crying.”
I’m pretty sure I’m making him uncomfortable. It’s been a very long time since I’ve had an outburst like this. I could blame it on stress, but I know it’s the anniversary and Jillian’s ridiculous behavior. Combine that with him being here with his cocksure attitude, and all of it is just too much all at the same time.
“You should go,” I say trying to get some distance from him.
“You sure?” He says pulling me against him.
I give him a weak smile and nod.
“I don’t mind staying.” He doesn’t release his hold on me. “Now that I’m sitting here with you, knowing you’re practically naked under this blanket, I’m reconsidering turning down your offer.”
I pull away from him and stand from the couch, making sure the blanket remains wrapped tightly around my body.
“Last chance,” he says that cocky grin returning to his mouth. “I can make you come on my mouth in a minute flat.”
I tilt my head to the side at his words.
“Maybe some other time,” I offer before thinking. There goes that damn finishing school training again.
He licks his lips as he stands from the couch, taking my words to heart. The next time he comes over and I refuse him, he’s going to label me as a tease. At this point, I don’t even care, so long as he leaves before I give into him.
He closes the few feet of distance between us and wraps his arms around me again. His lips find mine with a searing kiss. His tongue strokes along mine, and I allow it. Before long my body is responding to his, my tongue countering his movements.
Just as I’m about to drop the blanket from my shoulders, he breaks the kiss, leaning in one last time to kiss my forehead.
Before pulling away he leans his mouth near my ear and whispers, “You have an amazing fucking body, Lexi. I can’t wait to taste every inch of it. I’m looking forward to the day I’m buried so deep inside of you that you see stars.”
I’m a split second away from begging him for it now, but he releases his hold on me, runs his hand down my cheek, and takes two steps back.
“Get some sleep, Lexi. I’ll see myself out,” he says before quickly disappearing toward the front door.
I jump slightly when my heavy front door opens and shuts a few seconds later.
I should go to bed and put an end to this horrible day, start fresh tomorrow, but I can’t find the energy to do that just yet.
Instead, I walk over to the small bookcase in the corner and pull a well-worn photo album from the top shelf. Carrying it back over to the couch, I settle in for the final loop in my rollercoaster of a day.