Taylor Lynne: The Women of Merryton - Book Two (9 page)

“Easton, you weren’t the
only one in the wrong.”

His tired eyes lightened
a little. “I don’t know.”

“I should have told you
how I really felt and what I needed from you.”

He ran his fingers
through his hair and stared off into the distance. “No, Taylor, you’re right, I
was selfish. I should have been a better husband to you.”

I wasn’t going to argue
with that. But I had still had questions, since we were being all open and
everything. “Easton—”

He looked my way.

“Were you really not
seeing Kathryn?”

His eyes looked mournful.
“Taylor, I was faithful to you … at least physically.”

I narrowed my eyes in
confusion.

“When you left, she
became my sounding board, honestly, maybe even before. I knew you were unhappy,
but I felt like everything I was doing was for you and Ashley. And I was tired,
too. She helped me believe it was your issue and not mine. She stroked my ego.”

I averted my eyes toward
the flames. They reflected the way my insides were burning. “I see.”

“I told you I made huge,
life-changing mistakes.”

“So
she
was the
reason you never asked me to come back.”

“Taylor …”

The tears started up
again. I wiped my eyes before they trickled down my face. I should have been
over this, especially since it was what I had always suspected, but it still stung.

He touched my bare knee.
“I’m so sorry.”

We sat there in silence
for what seemed like at least an hour. We both stared into the distance, lost
in our thoughts. I had too many emotions swelling inside of me, everything from
betrayal to regret, lots and lots of regret. I wondered if I threw my marriage
away too hastily. Perhaps it had been salvageable. Like Easton, I had let my
pride take over as well. I had told myself I wasn’t going to be my mother. I
wasn’t going to let a man walk all over me. I had tried to convince myself with
thoughts of how patient I had been and even selfless.

Easton began to fidget
next to me.

I stood up and stretched.
I certainly wasn’t getting any younger. My body was feeling the effects of
sitting on a log for so long. “My hand is aching. I think it’s time to go.”

Easton stood up, too. He
was more than a head taller than me. “Okay.” He reached for the cooler. I
assumed he was getting some water to put out the fire, but he stopped short. “Taylor,
I want you to know I got my just desserts. I ended up married to someone who was
even more selfish than me.”

I sighed. “Is that
supposed to make me feel better?”

“No. I just want you to
realize how sorry I am.”

We left it at that. I
wasn’t sure what else to say, and he seemed to be lost in his thoughts as well.
I watched him meticulously put out the flames.

The ride home was as
silent as the ride there. He even turned off the radio. I wasn’t sure why, but
I didn’t bother asking. I sat there and thought about all that had been said.
All that had been lost. I did hear him sigh a few times. I wondered if he
regretted laying the cards on the table.

I had never been so
grateful to see my little house. I noticed first thing that Raphe’s car was
still parked out front. I think Easton took note of it as well, but it was
almost eleven, so no rules had been broken.

As soon as the truck
stopped in my driveway, I proceeded to exit.

Easton had other plans.
He reached for my left hand. “Please wait,” he pleaded.

I turned and faced him. His
look mirrored how I was feeling, overwhelmed with the emotion and truth the
night had brought. I think we both felt worn.

“I want you to know that
I picked up the phone at least a hundred times to call you and ask you to come
home. I even got in the car a few times with the intention of driving to
Alabama to beg you to come back. And I wasn’t sleeping on the couch because I
didn’t love you. It was me being selfish and not wanting to be disturbed. But
every night I would come in and watch you sleep for a moment and admire your
beauty. Sometimes you would have Ashley wrapped up in your arms and I would
think how lucky I was. I felt myself aching to be wrapped up in you, too, but I
was so tired.” His words seemed to fall out of him like he couldn’t get them
out fast enough. He squeezed my hand tighter. “I’m sorry, Taylor.”

I squeezed back and let
go. “I’m sorry too.” And I was.

His smile reflected
sadness. “So where does this leave us?”

I shrugged my shoulders.
“I guess where we’ve been for the last fourteen years—divorced parents of a
terrific kid.”

“Sounds kind of
depressing.”

“I suppose, but it’s the
truth.”

He stopped me again as I
tried to exit. “Taylor, will you please tell me one thing you loved about being
married to me?”

I looked into his tired
and worn eyes. I thought it an odd request, but the sincerity in his brown eyes
pricked at my heart. It took me no thought at all to come up with something.
Like I said before, there were many reasons I loved being married to him. “I
loved those rare mornings when we were both home at the same time and you would
put on that old Al Green CD and we would slow dance in the kitchen while you
sang pitifully in my ear.”

He grinned and his tired
eyes came to life. “My voice isn’t that bad.”

I smiled in return. His
voice really was that bad, but at the time I didn’t mind at all. It was like
music to my ears.

He reached over and
barely skimmed his thumb over my lips. “I always loved your smile.”

I always loved when he
did that, but I thought it best not to make mention of it. I was surprised he
had done it in the first place. It seemed too intimate for ex-spouses.

“We better get in and
check on the girls.” I tried to cover up any hint that I enjoyed his touch. My
hormones were kicking into high gear and begging for more. I opened my door and
jumped out of the truck before my chemical reactions combusted.

They say the truth will
set you free, right? I went to bed that night with my head buzzing and hand
throbbing. I kept tossing around everything that Easton and I had talked about.
He was right, our situation was depressing, but at least everything was out
there and working its way out of my system. I felt like I had unlocked the
first Chinese nesting box of my emotional issues. Now that I knew the truth, I
could deal with it. It hurt, even after all of this time, but it was better
than an unsolved mystery.

I tried not to think
about all the what ifs. Like what if I had been more honest with him or what if
I stayed? Would things have gotten better? Would we still be married? Or what
if he would have come for me? I had only wanted him to want me. Then I thought,
what if I had been a better wife? Could I have tried to make life easier for
him? I thought I had given all I could and then some. But did I? I just didn’t
know, but I guess it didn’t matter. We had been divorced for a long time and it
was finally time for me to move on.

I woke up, on one hand
feeling a little lighter—that knot in my chest was still loosened—but on the
other hand, I dreaded today. Father’s Day. I hated going to church and seeing
all the happy, intact families. I especially despised the sermons about
fatherhood and how wonderful fathers are. I didn’t want to go, but I knew it
would set a bad example for Ashley. Life wasn’t fair, and not everyone was
blessed with the same things. I wanted to show her that it was okay to be
different and still be a part of something like a church family. Besides, I
knew she was looking forward to having her dad to attend with this year. I
remember years ago when she was younger and would cry about not having a father
around on days like today. She always made cards and gifts for Harry, but it
wasn’t the same. She wanted her dad.

I carefully got ready
with my wrapped-up hand. Easton told me I couldn’t get it wet for twenty-four
hours. It hurt like the dickens and it made curling my hair fun. Thankfully,
for dinner I only needed to throw a roast, special seasonings, and peppers in
the crock-pot. Yes, dinner was still on with Easton. He half-heartedly tried to
decline coming, but I could tell he still really wanted to. And since the girls
and I had already gone to so much trouble, it seemed like a waste not to have
him over.

After our conversation
last night, he seemed to feel extremely guilty. He even told Emmy that she
shouldn’t bother me after she asked if I could do her hair this morning. I told
him and her that that was nonsense. I didn’t mind helping her at all—I kind of
liked it … a lot. I missed having a little girl around and there was something
about her I connected with. I just didn’t want Easton to think I was at his
beck and call and that he could expect me to take care of things for him.

I appreciated that he
recognized that he had and was taking advantage of me, but I would always help
Emmy if she asked. So I found myself curling her hair too. She and Easton came
over before church. I had a feeling this was going to become a weekly ritual.
Easton didn’t say much and wasn’t his normal, happy self. It looked like he had
slept worse than me. I’m sure the previous night was a shock to his system. I
really think he thought he was the perfect husband and I was all to blame. Yes,
I played a part and I really was sorry for that, but he was nowhere near
perfect.

Grams had told me I needed
to train him, when I came running back to Alabama fourteen years ago, but I balked
at the thought. You train animals, not people. But looking back, I think she wanted
me to be honest with him and myself. She said there was nothing wrong with
telling someone what you needed or expected, but it seemed so obvious to me. I
mean, how did he not get that going days without seeing your wife wasn’t okay,
or that never offering to help your wife wasn’t a good thing?

I almost felt bad for him
that morning. He was a good guy. He was a hard worker, and there was so much I
loved about being married to him, but I had hit a breaking point and I thought
he was having an affair. He acted like he was having an affair. I guess I was relieved
to know he wasn’t, but Kathryn
was
part of the problem. I pictured her
reeling him in, spinning a web like a deceitful spider trying to catch a juicy
fly. I really should quit thinking about it.

Easton and I needed to
figure how to be in each other’s lives without actually being in each other’s
lives.

I fixed up Emmy’s hair
and together we went back out to meet Easton and Ashley. They looked like they
were having a heart to heart in the family room, so I diverted Emmy to the
kitchen. I had Emmy help me add more peppers to the crock-pot. She wrinkled her
nose at the contents.

I smiled at her. “I’ll
make you something else if you don’t like this.”

She smiled back with
relief in her pretty brown eyes.

I found myself trying to
get her to smile often. She was too sullen for such a young girl.

It didn’t take long for
Easton and Ashley to join us. I noticed they were both grinning, but Ashley
looked teary eyed. I gave her a questioning look. She smiled wide, so I assumed
they were happy tears, or at least nothing I needed to scold Easton for.

Easton took a large whiff
of the aroma in the kitchen and his grin enlarged, if that was possible. It
must have been some discussion. “Italian beef?” he said as happy as could be.

I was almost embarrassed
to say yes.

“This is going to be the
best Father’s Day ever.” He looked between his daughters and then his gaze landed
on me. I could still see some trouble in his eyes, but there was more light in
them than when he first walked through my door. He acted as if he was going to
say something to me, but then changed his mind. Instead he approached me near
the counter where his dinner sat slowly cooking away. “Let me see your hand.”

I held up my loosely
bandaged hand. It went great with my apricot sundress. All I needed was a
matching head injury to pull off the ensemble.

Easton carefully took my
hand and unwrapped it. His hands felt warm. “How does it feel this morning?”

“It’s stiff and it stings
a little, but since I’ve survived natural childbirth, I think I’ll manage.”
That was how I rated any pain. If it wasn’t as bad as giving birth, which
nothing had been so far, it was manageable.

He grinned as he looked
over his handiwork. “I thought I was going to have to deliver Ashley in the
car.”

“What?” Ashley said. “You
never told me that, Momma.”

I looked around Easton to
where Ashley and Emmy sat at the island. “Yes, you were in a rush to make your
entrance into the world. You were born minutes after I arrived at the
hospital.”

“You should have seen
your mom,” Easton interjected. “She was perfectly calm. I was a wreck, even though
I had been in several delivery rooms.”

“I don’t remember feeling
very calm.”

“Well, I’ve never seen
anyone handle it better than you.”

I couldn’t remember ever
being more nervous or in more pain, but I wanted to be perfect. Show I could
handle it. It was the way I had been my whole life.

I looked at Ashley. “It
was all worth it.”

She smiled back at me,
but I noticed Emmy seemed uncomfortable, so I decided we should change the
subject.

I looked up at Easton,
who was still examining my hand. “Will I make it?”

He smiled and it touched
his eyes. “I predict a full recovery, but I think you should take it easy. It’s
looking a little red.” He turned to Ashley. “Will you please go get the
antibiotic spray for your mom?”

While we waited for
Ashley to return, Easton kept a hold of my hand and glanced toward his cooking
dinner. “I feel terrible that you’re going to all this trouble for me.”

“I’m not.”

He raised his eyebrow.

“I’m doing it for the
girls.”

He gazed down with intent
at my hand. “Yes, of course.”

I wasn’t sure my hand
needed such careful examination, but he wasn’t in any hurry to let it go.

“All the same.” He
diverted his eyes to mine. “Thank you, Taylor.”

There was that
electricity again between us. My heart rate rose, and for a moment I caught my
breath. “You’re welcome,” I whispered. I was so grateful Ashley returned with
the antibiotic spray. I was practically middle aged. It was ridiculous to still
feel butterflies in my stomach, especially over a man I had divorced fourteen
years ago.

Easton took the spray
from our daughter. Ashley had a twinkle in her eye as she looked at both of us.
I gave her a meaningful glance. She giggled and turned around. Both she and
Emmy left the kitchen. For what, I don’t know, but they left me there with
their father.

Easton sprayed my hand
and I felt the pain ease up almost immediately. I knew it would be short lived,
but I still welcomed it. I did not welcome it when Easton blew on my hand. It
startled me and excited me all at once. It was completely ridiculous.

I jumped and pulled my
hand away. “We’re going to be late for church.”

His eyes now danced with
humor at my obvious reaction to him. I didn’t find it humorous that I was
acting like a teenage girl. I didn’t even react to him like this when we were
dating. No, then I was just stupid enough to marry him after only dating him
for two months. It was one of those occasions I threw being perfect out the
window. I knew at the time it was beyond irrational and heady, but I had never
felt that way about anyone. I still hadn’t. It was like he got into my system
and became a part of me, and that’s where he’s stayed. I never imagined myself
eloping on a Tuesday afternoon with no rings, or dress, or even a friend or
family member. The only thing I could think of was that Easton Cole loved me
and I loved him and we were going to have the perfect life, because he was
nothing like my father and I would never be like my mother.

My daughter would never
see me cry over a worthless man. She would see that she didn’t need a man to
make her life. She would know she could make her own life and she could be good
and happy, all without a man. Even if that man was her father.

I was more than grateful
that everyone assumed we would be driving separately to church. I needed some
distance from Easton. Besides, I wanted to ask Ashley about what she and her
dad had talked about while I was doing Emmy’s hair.

“So, what were you and your
dad discussing this morning?”

Ashley carefully took her
eyes off the road for a split second and smiled at me. Easton suggested she
drive so I could rest my hand. “He told me he loved me.” She choked up a little,
as did I. “He told me he didn’t want me to blame you for the divorce because he
was solely to blame. He apologized for not being a better dad and he promised
me from here on out, he would be a permanent fixture in my life whether I
wanted him to be or not.”

She giggled some while I
tried not to cry.

That sounded like Easton.
I only wished he would have come to that realization fourteen years sooner. I
didn’t agree it was his entire fault, but more than anything, I wanted him to
be a father to our daughter.

“You know not to blame
your dad entirely, right? It takes two people to get divorced.”

I could see her mouth curve
up. “He said you would say that.”

“Hmm … Well, I’m glad you
two talked.”

“Me too. I’m glad we
moved here.”

That I wouldn’t agree
with, but for her sake I was happy.

We all sat together
again. It seemed pointless to argue about it. It was the same arrangement as
the week before except Easton sat between his daughters and held their hands. It
was sweet. Raphe also sat across from us again. From talking to Ashley the
night before, it sounded like we would probably get to know him better. She
seemed to be smitten, and from the longing glances he directed toward Ashley, I
would say he felt the same. I laughed inwardly when Easton caught him staring
at our daughter and gave him a warning glance. Raphe quickly looked forward and
Ashley giggled into her hands.

Jessie and her parents
sat behind us. Like us, they arrived early. While Easton talked to the girls, I
kind of eavesdropped on their conversation. I didn’t mean to, but it was hard
not to.

“I still can’t believe
Blake refuses to come to church,” I heard Jessie’s dad say.

“Dad, I told you he would
come once … you know.”

“Well, that’s something I
guess, but why is he keeping my granddaughter away today?”

“Yes, why is Maddie not
here?” Jessie’s mom, Gloria, asked.

“First of all, it is
Father’s Day, so Maddie wanted to be with her dad and—” Jessie paused. “She
wanted to visit her mom’s grave today while Blake visited Carter’s.”

“I still can’t believe
you buried her here,” her dad growled.

“Dad, this is Maddie’s
home and she wanted her mom to be buried close by. And Sabrina did die here.”

I remembered Jessie
mentioning to me that they had put Maddie’s mom in hospice care close by during
her final days. I thought it was one of the most unselfish acts I had ever
heard of. I wasn’t surprised. Jessie was probably one of the kindest people I
had ever met, but I was amazed at her strength after everything she had been
through. I’m sure it had to do with her love for her stepdaughter. Love of a
child can make us do things we never thought we could. I know Ashley had helped
me endure through the years.