Taste of Darkness (25 page)

His father sighed again. “You…have a kind spirit, Drake. You’re a better man than I’ll ever be and you’re only eight.”

His dad’s words stunned him, but he wasn’t sure how to respond. His father was the best, toughest man he knew.

“What is it? I can hear the wheels in your head turning from over here,” Victoria murmured, her voice dragging him back to the present.

When he focused on her he saw that she wasn’t looking up from where she was poring over an ancient text his brother had given to her. He loved the sight of her so intent on something.

Wearing dark jeans, a plain white T-shirt that dipped into a V showing off the necklace he’d given her, and her favorite green cardigan, she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. After last night in the pantry they’d both crashed for a few hours even though he’d wanted to do more. But first he wanted to talk to his brother more about mating. Originally he’d thought he’d just go with his instincts but after the way he’d bitten Victoria, he wanted to discuss that with Conall. In private. Because the last thing he ever wanted to risk was hurting her.

“I had another memory. This time of my father,” he rasped out.

Her head snapped up, her eyes widening. “That’s great. Do you want to…share it with me?” There was a hesitancy in her voice he didn’t like. He didn’t ever want her to feel that way with him.

“It was a short one, in a study or library, when I was about eight. Keelin wasn’t very old. My father was an intimidating, big man, but he told me that I was already a better man than he’d ever be.” Saying the words made Drake’s throat clog with emotion. He still wasn’t certain why his father had said it, but it warmed him from the inside out.

Victoria seemed to understand Drake’s internal struggle because she didn’t respond, just sat there patiently, her expression kind.

Still unsure of the emotions running through him, he cleared his throat and decided to change the subject. He wasn’t ready to talk about his parents just yet. The sensation of remembering an actual memory with his father was too jarring. Drake nodded at the file he’d set aside. “Just finished the clan leader’s file.”

She paused for a moment, as if she wanted to say something about what he’d just told her, but instead said, “And?”

“There’s not much on Bran Devlin. Or any of them. They had an alliance with my clan for thousands of years, their land bordering ours when I was young, but we had almost no interaction.” He’d discovered from his brother that they were originally from Scotland and Ireland, with deep Celtic roots, though they’d intermarried and inter-mated with other supernaturals more back then. Things had apparently changed in the last thousand years, with dragons keeping more to themselves.

“That’s normal though, right? My pack didn’t even know dragons were real until you. So doesn’t it make sense there’s not much on them?” She hadn’t looked at the files Drake had been dissecting, but he planned to have her read them too. Victoria was sharp and he wanted her insight.

His frown deepened. “Maybe. But most of this is just notes compiled from conversations or texts between Keelin and Fia or others in the clans.”

Now Victoria’s eyes widened. “Wait, like a dossier?”

He paused, trying to remember the definition, then nodded. “Yes. It’s my understanding from Conall that most clans have something like this. They keep records of even innocuous things.”

“Like freaking spies or something,” Victoria murmured, her eyebrows drawn together.

“Exactly like that. And the clan leader was missing for a couple decades. There are no notes about where he was or what he was doing until a year ago.”

“When the former leader and his mate died, right?”

Drake nodded. “Yes, his parents. That’s why Bran Devlin came back, but there’s no information on where he was before then.”

Victoria shrugged. “Ask him.”

That seemed too simple and it would require seeing the male in person. Of course that didn’t mean he had to invite the Devlin clan members into the village. He could go see them offsite and away from Victoria. Except she wouldn’t like that. Not his sweet and fierce female. She would completely balk at him going to meet them without her. “Maybe I will. There’s something else…” He picked up the file for Gavin Devlin and flipped it open as Conall walked in.

His brother was dressed sharply this morning in what Drake guessed was a custom made suit, white shirt and silver tie. From what he was coming to learn about this world and the wealth of his clan, the material of his clothing looked expensive.

“Morning.” Conall smiled warmly at Victoria.

The sight eased something in Drake’s chest. He’d been worried about his siblings and their reception of Victoria but so far they seemed to all like each other. Victoria was hard not to adore though.

His brother continued. “I know it’s early but clan members have started arriving. They would like to meet you, but I understand if you’re busy or still not ready.”

Drake looked at Victoria who just shrugged. “I’m fine with it if you are.”

“Have I ever met Gavin Devlin?” he asked abruptly. He wasn’t sure how he felt about meeting others just yet.

Conall stiffened at the name, no doubt because it was Fia’s mate. “No. You’re the same age and our land bordered each other but you never interacted. Our parents were too strict for that.”

“Why?” Victoria asked.

“Our mother was very overprotective. So was Gavin and Bran’s. Female dragons can be temperamental.”

Victoria snorted, the sound making Drake smile. “All females can be. So where are you going all fancy?” she asked Conall teasingly and Drake knew she was trying to alleviate the tension in his brother.

The tenseness in his brother’s shoulders eased, Drake’s healer’s magic working. “Just a meeting regarding land. We’re looking to purchase more and the owner wants an in-person discussion.” He glanced back at Drake. “I can cancel though.”

“No.” Drake’s answer was immediate. He didn’t want his family changing their schedules or lives for him. He liked that no one was smothering him. It was making adjusting to his new clan easier. Even if he didn’t know if he’d stay. He hadn’t broached the subject with Victoria yet because he wasn’t sure what her answer would be. He’d live with her pack forever if it was what she wanted. “And we’ll see my clan members now. But not in here.” He didn’t want to move the files and he didn’t want anyone to know what he and Victoria were doing. Not when he wasn’t sure who he could trust. It didn’t matter that his brother had told him he’d checked out everyone in their clan, Drake wanted to personally meet everyone and get a feel for them. Maybe meeting his clan members would trigger something in his memory, like when he’d met his two cousins.

“There are half a dozen waiting in the sitting room in the front of the house.”

“Is that the room with the uncomfortable furniture?” he asked.

Conall let out a sharp bark of laughter, the sound taking Drake by surprise. His brother nodded. “That’s the one.”

“Give us ten minutes. And…when you’re back would you mind meeting with me in your office?” Drake asked.

“I’ll contact you as soon as I return.” Conall ducked out of the library, thankfully not questioning what Drake wanted to discuss. Victoria placed a ribbon bookmark in the pages of the book she was reading and stood, rounding her desk as she came to lean against Drake’s. Her scent intensified the closer she came, making his brain short-circuit for a moment.

Drake opened his mouth to speak but all thoughts disappeared as she inched down the desk until she was directly in front of him, placing both her feet on his chair on either side of his thighs. With her legs spread like this, images of last night flickered through his mind like snapshots. Not that he’d actually stopped thinking about her taste and how she’d come against his mouth.

“You sure about meeting with everyone?”

He nodded, grabbing her hips and earning a yelp of surprise as he pulled her to straddle him. “Are you trying to get me hard before we go meet everyone?” he murmured, brushing his lips against hers as the room lit up in a soft, golden glow. The oversized windows of the room had the drapes pulled back so if anyone was flying nearby they’d see it.

“No. I’ve just gone too long without touching you this morning.” She slid her fingers into his hair and leaned close, moistening her lips.

“I agree,” he murmured, even though they’d been together the past couple hours in the same room. After going hundreds of years at a time without touch, and even when he did touch, it had been mostly in violence, the feel of her soft hands on him pushed back the darkness inside him. Clearing his throat before she would have kissed him, he said, “I need to tell you something.”
No!
his dragon side shouted at him.
She doesn’t need to know everything.
But she did. Deep down Drake knew that. And he had to trust her to accept him.

She paused, her eyebrows knitting together, probably at his grim tone. “Okay.”

He was probably making a mistake, but she deserved to know about his darker side. If she was truly to be his mate, she needed to know everything about him. Even if his deepest fear was that she’d reject him when she learned the truth. Reaching out, he loosely gripped her neck, rubbing his thumb along her jawline as she watched him with a mix of lust and curiosity.

“In Hell I used to fight. A lot. After hundreds of years alone and in my dragon form I was going insane.” Some nights when he stared at the ceiling in his room, he wondered if he’d just completely been consumed by the darkness and all this was a fantasy. If it was, Victoria was the best damn thing he could have ever imagined.

“When I returned from isolation into the land of the damned I started engaging in brutal, bloodthirsty fights. Not because I was forced to, but because I
wanted
to. I liked hurting other beings, craved it, fucking relished in it.” He had, the blood and violence making him feel alive in the worst way possible. “For so long I felt like I was wasting away into this dark abyss of nothingness and all my rage and anger came spilling out with a brutal vengeance.” When his gaze fell to his hand, a hand that had once been stained with endless blood, touching Victoria’s gentle neck, he dropped it, letting it fall to his side.

Victoria cupped his face, her hands gentle as she held him. “I don’t even know if there were any innocents in Hell, but did you ever hurt any intentionally?”

He shook his head. The males he’d fought had been demons or other beings cursed to Hell for violent crimes in their previous life. Usually vamps. Fucking hedonistic bastards.

“My sweet Drake,” she whispered, leaning forward to brush her lips over his. Teasing her tongue against the seam of his lips, he gave her entrance, meeting her tongue with his tentatively, not understanding why she was being so kind.

His hands settled on her hips, barely holding her out of fear she’d bolt. When she started peppering kisses along his jaw, heading to his ear, his hold on her hips tightened.

“
Victoria
.” He stressed her name, making her pull back.

“What?” The word came out breathless.

“Don’t you have something to say?”
Like he disgusted her?
He’d just admitted to not only taking part in violence, but enjoying it. She was a healer, the exact opposite of him. What if she feared him now? Panic slid down his spine at the thought, like a blaze of needles slamming into him all at once.

She paused, her wolf flickering in her gaze. “If I find who put you in Hell, I’m going to destroy them.” The savage edge from his healer punched through his chest. “You were an innocent child sacrificed because of… I don’t know why yet, but I
will
discover why. You had no one and you did the best you could. I hate what happened to you but I could never judge you for any decisions you made. Not knowing who you are now. And you’re definitely not the same male you were then. Did you think I would?” Her eyebrows drew together, just the woman looking at him now.

He nodded, not trusting his voice. He’d feared just that. Had tried to prepare himself for her revulsion. The very small civilized part of him wanted to tell her that she shouldn’t want him, should run from him, but his primal side won out. If she accepted him, that was it.

“Oh, Drake. You are mine. Every single part of you.” The words were a soft whisper as she wrapped her arms around his neck, burying her face against his neck as she held him.

Mine
. He understood what that meant. She was his too. For someone who’d never had anything close to resembling love in his life for far too long, her words undid him. He returned her embrace, holding her tight to him, her touch grounding him, telling him that he might just have a real future with her. One with dreams and a mate who loved him despite everything he’d done.

* * *

Victoria stood in the foyer with Drake, saying goodbye to the last group of dragon shifters who’d stopped by. Her arm was wrapped loosely around his waist as they smiled, her face hurting from all the talking and smiling they’d done for the past eight hours. Jeez, had it really been that long? And she’d been the only one smiling. Drake tried, but it came off as more of a baring of teeth.

“No more visitors,” Drake growled, his body tense.

It was close to five that evening and she found herself agreeing, even though everyone had been incredibly welcoming. She didn’t want to smile at any more strangers, didn’t want to make small talk. Plus she was starving. “Agreed. Think we can raid Conall’s fridge?” she asked, turning in his arms.