Taste (Ava Delaney #5) (12 page)

Rubbing my cheek, I tried to feel wide awake. The fatigue was from more than the fight or from donating to Mrs. Yaga. It was me being weary of the life I led. “Does it matter?” I asked. “Either way, more are going to come here. When they’ve picked us off and fucked up the country, the BVA are going to swoop in and take over, just like they’ve taken over Britain.”

“If we can fight them off, Britain might stand a chance,” Esther said, her eyes gleaming. “They weren’t prepared. The vampires took everyone over there unaware. We’ve had prior warning. We can change everything. Britainneed numbers, communication, and hope. We could give them all of those. We could put the BVA back in their box.”

“It’s more than time for vampires to be wiped out,” I said. “But we have enough going on here, remember? We can’t fight every battle.”

“Maybe we won’t have to,” she said. “This could be about gaining new allies. Maybe we’ll convince English rebels to join the fae and whoever else is fighting against the vampires underground. Technically, that’s what they are now—rebels. Maybe the Féinics thing can be bigger than just us.”

I sighed. “One thing at a time. I don’t have the energy for this.”

I walked outside, chilled by the number of people who needed help. Peter came out behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. I leaned my head against him, relieved to be home.

“It’s spiralling,” he whispered. “And Emmett’s in the middle of it all.”

I froze. “Nothing will touch him here.”

“Not yet.”

I realised I was pinching his hands and released him. I was afraid to look at him, afraid to hear what was on his mind, so I went back inside and did my best to avoid him.

Emmett was playing in the kitchen with Dita while Anka made sandwiches.

I moved to help Anka. “You don’t have to do that.”

“You’re protecting us. Everyone. The least I can do is make some sandwiches.” She smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes.

I took her shaking hand in mine. “You’re safe. You and Dita both.
Safe
.”

She gave me that watery smile again and continued buttering bread. “We can’t run forever. Nobody can. What will come will come. Nothing we can do about it. We’re safer here than anywhere else. I know this.” She gazed at me. “So why am I so terrified?”

The children looked at Anka, then at me, so I clenched my jaw and tried to appear unconcerned.

“Because you’re a mother,” I said. “That’s your job. It’s my job to make sure you’re worrying about nothing.” My smile was no stronger than hers, but she hugged me briefly.

But Emmett’s eyes had that look in them again, the one that told me he wanted to fight.

I winked at him. “It’ll all be over soon.”

But I was secretly thinking we’d only had a taste of what was to come.

Chapter Ten

I sat up most of the night, waiting for news of another attack. Gabe accompanied me, as did Carl, Esther, Val, the twins, and Peter. Gabe had assured us we were safe during the day from whomever on the Council or their staff wanted to get rid of us, because everyone was so busy running around like headless chickens. The night was once again dangerous. We didn’t know when a beast would come, when a group of ancient vampires would attack, or when whatever the BVA were up to finally occurred.

“There’s a boat anchored off the coast,” Gabe said, getting off the phone. “Suspect. Fionnuala wants to send Guardians out to investigate.”

“Pointless,” I said. “If they’re going to invade, they’re already on their way. Sending a couple of Guardians onto a boat full of beasts would be suicide in any case.”

“She’s probably desperate.” Esther picked at her nails aggressively. “She’ll sacrifice anyone to save herself.”

I paced the room. “Why won’t they just attack already?”

“Last night was probably a mistake,” Peter said. “If they’re moored on some boat, one might have escaped the figurative leash and went hunting.”

I resisted the urge to count heartbeats. “We know they’ll be in Dublin, so maybe I should be out there.”

“What if you’re ambushed by ten or twenty of them?” Gabe asked.

“If ten arrive, I’ll be out looking for them anyway. We can’t let them run riot around the city. Seriously, don’t you remember how much destruction Becca caused?”

“I remember it clearly,” Gabe said. “She was uncontrollable. No use as the weapon Maximus or Gideon intended.”

“So maybe they’ve learned something since Becca,” Peter said. “Ava’s right. This is different. I just don’t know if it’s a good or a bad thing.”

I rubbed my temples. I was getting a headache from all of the possibilities. “Either way, I’ll have to be out there. Let’s hope Becca’s fears haven’t been bred out of these things.”

“If you want to stay in the city, I will go with you,” Val said, and everyone turned to look at her. She gave a wicked smile. “If anyone’s equipped to deal with a beast, surely it’s me.”

“I’d definitely rather have you on my side,” I said, and we exchanged knowing grins.

“I’m up for it, too,” Esther said, cracking her knuckles. “I’m bored with sitting around.”

“You could come across Aiden,” Peter said, staring her down. “Think you can handle that?”

She made a scornful sound. “I can handle anything.” But her voice wasn’t completely steady.

“I’m prepared to go, too,” Lorcan said.

I shook my head. “I’d rather you stayed with Lucia. That way, if there’s news, you’ll be able to pass the word on.”

“Her visions haven’t been reliable,” he protested.

“She’s all we have. Besides, we need people capable of defending the cul-de-sac, too.”

Peter’s eyes narrowed. “You think something will come here?”

“I’m thinking the beasts are going to scatter. The power here could attract them. I don’t know for sure, and I don’t want to take the chance. We’ve no idea what kind of info the BVA have, thanks to Gideon and Reuben.”

“I’m going,” Peter said.

“Emmett,” I replied, ignoring the look on his face.

“I’m going,” he repeated more vehemently.

“Cam’s here. Lorcan’s here.
I’m
here. Emmett will be fine,” Carl said. “You might need Peter. You’re a good team.”

I closed my eyes and exhaled loudly.

“I can stay or be out on the streets,” Gabe said, “but I’ll have to send the last member of my Guard back to headquarters.”

“Shit. We need more fighters.” I glanced around the room. “We need to arm everyone in the cul-de-sac. And I mean everyone, even the children. I’m not leaving anyone completely defenceless. Mrs. Yaga will be here, so hopefully…”

“There are a couple of people who are good enough with a bow,” Val said. “They don’t have practice on moving targets, but if they keep watch from the upper floors of some of the homes, then maybe we’ll stand a chance.”

“Too few of them to cover enough ground,” Peter said. “And a still target is a completely different story than a beast running for someone. Ry’s the only one who knows what he’s doing, and he didn’t get much practice underground.”

Everyone looked so solemn that it left an ache in my chest. Some of us would likely die, and all of us knew it. The more people we left behind, the less chance we had of surviving out in the dark.

“The Council want to bring you in, Ava,” Gabe said softly, and everyone’s attention turned back to him.

“To arrest her?” Esther exclaimed, looking shocked.

He shook his head. “To ask her to fight for us again.”

“Idiots,” I said. “As if I need to be asked to fight for my own survival.”

He shrugged. “You know how it is. They want to be kept in the loop. They would prefer it if you went to the places
they
want you to go.”

“And what did you tell them?”

A ghost of a smile teased his lips. “I told them they could find you out in the field.” He cocked his head. “But we should regroup there if more beasts come. To best coordinate an attack. We could use the Guardians.”

“They didn’t do much good last time,” I muttered. “No offence, Esther.”

She waved a hand. “It’s fine. I know it. We didn’t take it as seriously as we should until it was too late. It was all a competition. Gabe, can I contact my Circle?”

“You’re not a Guardian anymore, Esther,” he said. “Technically, they should take you in. This is why I can’t force my Guard to remain here. Too risky. They should really arrest you on sight, too.”

“So should you,” Peter said sharply.

“I’m too afraid of Ava to do that,” he said with a smirk.

I couldn’t help but laugh. “That’ll be the day. Think they’d speak to you, Esther?”

She shrugged. “We were a family once.”

Her words hung in the air, and I knew she had to be thinking about her brother. Still a Guardian, still a Consultant to the Council, he had hung her out to dry, and she had no idea why.

“It might be worth a try,” Carl said. “Reaching out when the country is in danger is kind of the time to re-evaluate what’s going on in your life.” He gazed at me, and I glared back.

“I’m getting out of here,” I said, jumping to my feet. “Someone call me if there’s any news. I need to get out there. I need to be ready.”

“I’ll come with you,” Val said.

I nodded. “We’ll patrol the city to see if maybe we can figure out weak spots. It’s getting late, so I don’t think anything is going to happen. We’ll contact you if we spot anything out there. Lucia, keep an eye out for me.”

Lucia reached for Val. Val’s big hand squeezed Lucia’s tiny one, and we left.

“You’re getting close,” I noted. “With Lucia, I mean.”

“You’ve met her,” Val said. “She’s special. She needs as much protection as any of them.”

“I know.” I met her eyes.

Val was protective rather than destructive. She had sworn to protect Leah, but I knew she would do anything to protect Lucia, too.

“I need her silence,” she said after a moment. “Is that strange? She calms me. I need that more than I like. We communicate, but sitting with her helps sometimes.”

“Not strange,” I said, although I had once thought of Lucia’s silence as creepy rather than calming. “There’s no darkness in her at all. Sometimes
I
need that. She calmed me when I might have lost myself. I’ll always be grateful to her.”

“I’m thankful to know her. I only hope this world doesn’t corrupt her.”

“It won’t. She and Lorcan aren’t like the rest of us. In a good way.”

After a few moments, she said, “I’m keen to see more of the city. It’s been a while since I’ve had free rein.”

“I’m so sorry. I forgot you’ve been a prisoner as much as anyone.”

“I wasn’t unhappy,” she said, sounding surprised. “As long as I have a job to do, I’m fine. But I would like to see the day when all of them are free to come and go. Leah’s young; she deserves the chance to have a real life. The twins have never known freedom. These are things I would like to change.”

“We’re getting there. I just don’t know if life will ever be safe.” I sighed. “It feels as though once this world touches you, you can never escape. I was doing okay before… well, maybe not okay, but at least I felt
safe
some of the time. Last year, I didn’t know any of you. I didn’t know any of what was wrong. I collided with this stuff, and now everything keeps escalating. I can’t see where it stops, where I can get off.”

She glanced at me, and I realised it was the most truth I had spoken over the last couple of days.

“The only end is death,” she said, frowning. “There will always be something coming. There will always be anger and pain. Only you can choose what you deal with. You could have walked away at any time. You’ve told me your story, Ava. Your choices brought you here.”

“So I only have myself to blame?”

“No, you’ve made choices, and you decided to be a voice. You chose to help, to make a difference. The world is made up of small choices, small voices. Each one counts.”

I stared at her, surprised. “That was… thanks, Val.”

She smiled but kept her eyes on the road. “Where do you suggest we go first?”

“Maybe the main shopping streets.Lots of pubs and clubs and drunken life to pick off. If I was the BVA, I would cause mayhem in places like that. I would send beasts in all different directions to cause distractions. And when everyone was busy struggling to figure out what was going on, I would attack hard and swift at the centre of control.”

“You mean the Council?”

I nodded. “They have to take down the Council to win. That’s just it. As long as the Council survives, so does their power. I’ve been thinking about this a lot because the vampires want to do what we want to do—take down the Council and assert themselves—except we aren’t going to risk innocent lives to do it. We can help people, make them respect us and
want
to join us.”

“So if we clear out the beasts, people won’t react as badly when we destroy the system?”

My heart hurt again. “Change the system for the better, I think.”

“Are there leaders amongst us?” she asked. “Ones who can run all of these creatures in an unbiased way? Even you have priorities. You would always side with the humans.”

I stopped walking. “Shit. There’s no neutrality, is there? I wish there was a way to give the humans a voice of their own.”

“Involve them?”

I fell in step with her again. “They won’t survive an army of beasts without knowing they need to defend themselves.”

“That could cause mayhem, Ava, hysteria, panic. Vengeful humans convinced a shifter or vampire murdered one of their loved ones, whether it’s true or not.”

I bit the inside of my cheek. “Then the new Council would take care of that. Look, we’re a long way away from the details, but that’s
my
dream.”

“You’ve seemed different this week. Worn out.”

“I am. I’m fed up of the constant fighting. Emmett’s watching me do this, thinking killing is okay. What happens when the war is over? When there’s no need to fight? Will he be like Peter is right now?”

“It would be easier for you if you didn’t care,” she noted.

“Ha. No shit. But who wants easy?”

She grinned. “Most people.”

I showed her all of the places I reckoned might be at risk, mostly ones with a good deal of active nightlife. They could be the disaster spots.