Tasmanian Tangle (19 page)

As he had so bluntly put it, there was only one way out of such a relationship. She attracted him, that much was certain, but that was all there was to it. He didn't love her, and despised himself for giving way to what was purely an interested male's reaction to the age-old instincts of courtship.

Tanya had wondered what would have happened if they had met in any other circumstances but the one they had found themselves in; or if she had been anyone else but John Hume's daughter, but she was Tanya Hume, and would remain so in his eyes, come what may. The rest was pure conjecture, and for all she knew she would have ended up on the crossed out list of his former girl-friends, and spent her time hoping for a phone call that would never come.

In a way he had saved her from this indignity, and she ought to be grateful for this at least, but somehow she wasn't. As Kade had despised himself for his weakness, so too did she despise herself for her presumptuous daydreams that she felt Kade had encouraged, in spite of his gallant stand to protect her interests. It

wasn't only her interests, though; his stiff
necked pride had governed most of his actions, and would continue to do so.

If she loved Kade, then she was a fool, and deserved a fool's reward, and perhaps she was already receiving it!

Having come to this conclusion, Tanya was quite able to deal with Connie who had been unable to accept the bald fact that she was leaving with Lloyd the following day, and intended to stay in the States.

'Of all the ridiculous ideas,' she grumbled again, as she put Tanya's breakfast down in front of her. 'Going off with a stranger. It's not right! What's Kade thinking of letting you do a thing like that? That's what I want to know! '

'Lloyd isn't a stranger to me, Connie,' Tanya said indignantly.

'I'm not saying he isn't a gentleman,' replied Connie, 'but he's not family,' she insisted stubbornly.

'Well, Kade's not family either,' retorted Tanya dryly.

'He's as near family as you're ever likely to get,' Connie answered with a mulish light in her eyes. 'You've had this tomfool idea ever since you heard that story about your mother, haven't you?' she demanded. 'You haven't given Kade a chance since then.' She sat down opposite Tanya and caught one of her hands in her work-roughened ones. 'Forget all this foolishness, Tanya. Stay where you belong,' she urged her. 'You've just got off on the wrong foot with Kade, and he's doing his best for you. I know Mr Warren's a good man, and if there wasn't anywhere else for you to go then he'd be the best person to look after you,

but this is your home, and this is where you belong,' she ended firmly.

Tanya eyed the earnest Connie. What would she say if she knew the truth? she wondered. There simply wasn't anywhere else for her to go, her champion Kade had seen to that.

Connie took her silence as hesitation and swiftly added another rider to her plea. 'Go and tell Kade you're staying on. You owe him that much for what he did for your father.'

For a moment Tanya came very near to telling Connie the truth, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. Connie had had some shocks in her time—and all concerned Tanya's family; she could at least spare her this one. It would be no use telling her part of the story, for no matter how it was told, it all ended in the same emotional mess as before. It was a case of history repeating itself—first her mother, then Tanya. If Kade was family, then he could only be described as the black sheep! As far as Tanya w
as concerned he was poison ivy !
The sooner she got him out of her system the better!

She looked back at Connie still watching her with a hopeful look in her eye, and said gently, 'Nothing's definitely settled. Lloyd asked me to give it a try, but if it doesn't work out, then I'll be back,' she added softly, hating herself for the lie, but she was willing to tell a few more if it meant sparing Connie. 'And I did try to fit in, Connie, but I found I made a poor business woman,' she tacked on swiftly before Connie could interrupt. She gave her a small smile. 'To be honest, I think Kade is relieved about the whole thing.

He didn't take much to my trotting behind him trying to look intelligent.'

Connie gave her a hard searching stare. 'If that's what you think, then you don't know Kade,' she answered firmly.

The sound of a car's tires swishing up the drive announced the arrival of Lloyd to take her to Hobart, and with a sigh of thankfulness Tanya was able to leave Connie to her gloomy ruminations.

At least Lloyd was cheerful, she thought as she left the house. She badly needed some cheering up, and was looking forward to a morning spent in his company, as she was getting tired of gloom and despondency.

A little later, however, Tanya was dismayed to find that Lloyd, too, seemed to be immersed in an unusually sober mood, and was more reticent than she had ever known him to be. A horrible thought that he was beginning to regret his offer seeped through her and she found herself hoping that Kade's settlement would be big enough for her to take off on her own. Enough, anyway, to give her a start somewhere. Sydney, maybe, she thought, as her mind raced on, but that would come after her visit to Oregon. Lloyd was not likely to cancel that at this late hour, she reasoned. So it would be up to her to bow gracefully out of the picture after what might be termed a reasonable period of time.

The visit to Hobart was more in the nature of a shopping tour than a sightseeing one. Lloyd had suggested as much the previous day, mentioning that if there was anything Tanya needed they could purchase it then.

Tanya was sure he had a few ideas of his own on what he had called 'a shopping spree', and this included buying her a 'little something' that knowing Lloyd was bound to be prohibitively expensive. Tanya was determined to prevent any such gesture, and to this end suggested that they visit one of the State museums that housed relics of Australia's historic past and was bound to be of immense interest to the visitor.

At Lloyd's reply that he wasn't in the mood for a history lesson Tanya stared at him with raised brows, making him add with an apologetic grin, 'Guess I've a touch of indigestion. I'd rather we took it easy today. We'll have a coffee in that place for a start,' he said, indicating with a nod of his head a large restaurant opposite where they were parked.

Tanya's thoughts were hectic as he guided her to a table near a large bay window in the restaurant. She was certain he had had a change of mind where she was concerned, and wasn't finding it easy going explaining the position to her.

Well, she would make it easy for him, she thought stoutly. She would broach the subject herself and save him the embarrassment of bringing it up.

Kade had something to do with this, she was sure, but it didn't add up. Of all people he had a legitimate reason for wanting her off the scene and would hardly be likely to put a spoke in the wheel at this late stage.

It was when she remembered her last conversation —or rather skirmish—with Kade that a little light was thrown on the subject.

He must have warned Lloyd against her developing what she had termed a 'father figure complex' where he

was concerned. A slight flush stained her cheeks. Poor Lloyd! no wonder he was worried!

As soon as their coffee had been brought to them and the waitress had retired to serve another customer Tanya, unable to bear the suspense, said quickly, 'You've had second thoughts about taking me back with you, haven't you, Lloyd?'

Lloyd's eyebrows shot up at this and he stared at Tanya's earnest features. 'Now where did you get that idea from?' he demanded in a surprised voice.

Having made the initial approach Tanya had no intention of giving up now. He had certainly looked amazed at the question, but he might have been playing for time.

She played with the spoon in her saucer, seeking the right words to convey her feelings to him. She wanted to tell him that she understood, and that she didn't mind. She was looking forward to standing on her own two feet. It had to be convincing, for her sake as well as Lloyd's.

'You're coming home with me,' said Lloyd firmly, breaking into her careful rehearsal of what she would say. 'I'm not taking no for an answer,' he went on quietly. 'I guess you need time to sort yourself out, and I'm going to make sure you get that time.'

Tanya's eyes widened as she digested this. Time for what? she thought bewilderedly. Then a thought struck her that made her drop the spoon into her saucer with a clatter. Kade hadn't—he couldn't! She swallowed hard. If he had told Lloyd the real reason why it was better for all concerned that she leave Orchard Farm, she would hate him for all eternity! A sort of a man-to-man confes
sion, she could almost hear it !

Warning Lloyd at the same time that she might very well transfer her unwanted attentions to him

She continued to stare back at Lloyd. He must have believed him, she thought wretchedly. Why else would she need time to, as he had put it, 'sort herself out'?

Lloyd put a large hand on her small one. 'Look, Tanya, I've no wish to pry into your personal life,' he said slowly, 'but I'd like to know just what goes between you and Kade.'

Tanya's lips tightened. 'Nothing "goes" between me and Kade Player, and never will!' she answered vehemently, her eyes sparking shoots of green fire. She was practically certain now that Kade had said something.

Lloyd nodded slowly, as if in confirmation. 'I guess I thought as much,' he said quietly. 'So it's Oregon for you, my girl. You're better out of it There's nothing worse than pipedreams, and I ought to know. Far better to cut loose before they take over.'

This was said in a low bitter voice that Tanya had never heard Lloyd use before, and she sensed that he was referring to the past and to her mother. Where she was concerned, she could not refute his comments. She had lived in a pipedream where Kade was concerned, and the less said about this the better. Perhaps it was just as well that he knew the truth, he would help her to forget. He was not likely ever to refer to it again, of this she was certain.

'So as I said,' went on Lloyd carefully, 'it's better ended. I'm not having you go soft, and doing something you'll regret for the rest of your life.' He squeezed her hand. 'Never look back, Tanya. We're looking to

the future from now on. Drink your coffee,' he ordered, 'we've got some shopping to do.'

By the sound of things, Lloyd knew a lot more about the situation than Tanya would have thought possible. By going 'soft' he had meant giving in to Kade's hunting instincts where an attractive woman was concerned. To give the devil his due, this was precisely what Kade was afraid would happen and his pride refused to risk it.

Tanya's eyes misted over. What a champion she had in Lloyd, and what a difference there would have been if her mother had lived, for she would now be free to marry him. She did not consider such thoughts in any way detrimental to her father. It hadn't been fair of him to impose such a stipulation at the time of the separation, even though he had wanted to protect his daughter.

She then remembered Lloyd's bitter comments on pipedreams. Surely he did not regard his love for her mother as a pipedream? It had been very real and very poignant. Looking back to that time, she could now see that her mother had loved Lloyd but was powerless to do anything about it. 'Oh, Lloyd,' she said mistily, 'yours was no pipedream. If it hadn't been for me, Mother would have married you, surely you know that?' she added gently.

Her words stunned Lloyd, who seemed to blanch under his deep tan. 'Say that again,' he said slowly, as if unable to believe his ears.

Tanya could not understand his reaction. It was as if he hadn't known—and if this was so— 'It was a condition my father imposed upon her,' replied Tanya,

still not sure of her ground and very much afraid that she had spoken out of turn.

'You mean that even if she had cared about me, she still couldn't have married me?' he asked in a wondering voice. 'But why couldn't she have told me?' he went on, as he assimilated the news.

There was a time when Tanya might have wondered the same thing, but now she had the answer. 'What good would it have done if sh
e had?' she replied gently. 'You
would have hared off to see my father, wouldn't you, and somehow bludgeoned him into releasing her from the contract. She didn't want that, Lloyd. It would have meant her giving up all rights to me.'

There was a long silence after this and she sat anxiously watching Lloyd. Then she saw him open his eyes wide. 'And all this time I thought that she hadn't cared enough to name the date,' he said softly. He looked at Tanya. 'And I thought I was the one going through hell.' He shook his head as if to dispel a mist, then raised Tanya's hand to his lips and gently kissed it. It was a foreign gesture, and one that he did not often make, yet it told Tanya the depth of his feelings. 'You've just made my day, girl,' he said quietly. 'There was so much I couldn't understand. Now I do. I guess she loved me as much as I loved her, and though it's pretty hard to take at this moment, it'll see me through the bad times.'

That was all he said, but it left Tanya in no doubt that she had given him a precious gift, and one that he would treasure for all time. If there was anything worse than losing the one you loved, it was unrequited love. Tanya had already found this to be a very true fact and was only too thankful that she had been able to