Tarzan & Janine (15 page)

Apparently, Fifi liked the smell of the tanning lotion. The tip of her trunk sniffed at his back, waist, and now she was going for his legs.

Batting at her trunk, Tanner looked over at Janine for help.

One corner of her mouth lifted with the corresponding eyebrow. Then she patted the elephant and whispered into her ear.

“Join me, Tanner,” he pounded a fist to his chest and swung his arm toward Janine, “and my ever helpful assistant, Jaaaannnnne!”

Fifi dipped her trunk beneath Tanner’s loincloth and goosed him. When he jumped and yelled Janine’s name, the elephant looped her trunk around his middle and tried to lift him from the ground.

Tanner was no longer in any semblance of control, and the film was rolling on live television.

“Down, Fifi!” he yelled, as the elephant swung him gently back and forth with him wrapped in her trunk, his back to the cameras. “So help me, if you don’t put me down, there will be no peanuts for you, girl.”

Tanner’s gaze searched through a sea of moving faces for Fifi’s trainer. He spied Janine, doubled over, clutching her sides alongside his chief of sales, Scott. Fuck. They were laughing.

They were absolutely no help. How was he supposed to finish the commercial when he was being held hostage by a crazy man-eating elephant?

Janine grabbed the microphone from Tanner’s hand and stepped toward the camera, schooling her face into a smile. “Join Tarzan and Janine at Pesky Motors for Saturday’s Elephant of a Sale.”

“Peschke,” Tanner yelled, hanging from elephant’s trunk. “Hey, get me down!”

* * *

Joe stood in his living room, punching numbers into the cordless telephone and maneuvering the remote to the television simultaneously. What he wanted to press was the volume button, but he realized it was the redial button on the phone. “Damn.”

The phone on the other end of the line rang once, twice–”Beans, you watchin’ this?”

His friend’s slow drawl answered, “Yep. Never thought the boy had the
cajones
to wear a getup like that on public television. You sure you’re ready to hand that dealership over to him? Looks like more of a clown than a businessman.”

“I know exactly what you mean, but I’m still bankin’ on that case of beer. I think he’ll pull off this thing, yet.”

“Based on tonight’s show, I’m betting it’s mine.”

“Hey, what’s that written on Tanner’s back?”

“Don’t know, cain’t quite make it out.”

The line was silent as the two men moved closer to their televisions to check it out.

“Looks like two words,” Joe said, his head swaying with the elephant’s tempo.

“First two letters are M and E,” Beans said.

“What’s the rest? My damned eyes are gettin’ worse every year. Remind me to see my eye doctor.”

“Don’t forget to see your eye doctor. Looks to me like the next three letters are T-A-R.”

“M-E-T-A-R?”

“The next letter looks like a very sick Z. And the last two look like A and N.”

“What does it mean, M-E-T-A-R-Z-A-N?”

“Don’t know, but the boy’s usin’ every bit of advertising space by the looks of it.”

“That’s my boy.” Joe shook his head, and sighed. “Suppose he’ll get down from that elephant alive?”

“If not, you can get me that case of beer sooner.”

Chapter Ten

“Great job, Tarzan.” Scott held out a towel.

“Thanks.” Tanner was not believing for a minute Scott meant what he said. How could he? The commercial didn’t go according to his plan and once again, all of Austin would be laughing at Tanner Peschke.

“Don’t worry, your reputation will recover eventually.” Scott clapped a hand on Tanner’s naked shoulder and quickly drew it away to examine it. “That stuff doesn’t come off, does it?”

“I don’t know. Fifi didn’t show any signs of tanning lotion on her trunk and I’d say she held on a little tighter than you did.” Tanner rubbed his sore ribs where the elephant had grabbed him for a good fifteen minutes. The trainer had a heck of a time convincing her to let go. Something in the tanning lotion made her determined to hang on to Tanner, no matter what the trainer said or did.

The camera crews left as soon as Tanner was out of any danger and no longer an interesting subject to the general public. He searched the dwindling crowd for Janine, but she was nowhere to be seen.

“If you’re lookin’ for Janine, she left as soon as the elephant let go of you.”

“I wonder why she left so soon? I wanted to talk with her.”

“That’s probably why she left in such a hurry.” Scott settled in the chair behind Tanner’s desk.

“Why?”

“I would, if I was the one who wrote that on your back.”

“Wrote what?”

“Me Tarzan.” Scott pressed his lips together into a thin line and rose from the chair. “You mean you didn’t know?”

“Know what?”

“Never mind.” Scott dug in his pocket for his keys, edging toward the door. “Guess I’ll be goin’.”

Tanner stepped in front of him. “You’re not goin’ anywhere until you tell me what the hell you’re talkin’ about.”

“Uh, Tanner, old buddy, old pal...”

Scott dragged it out to the point Tanner wanted to strangle him. He narrowed his eyes to a slit.

“You’ve been had. Your makeup artist told me all about it.”

“All about what?”

“Janine.”

“What about Janine?” His hands curled into fists.

“Come with me.” He led Tanner through the empty showroom, stopping long enough to dig a compact mirror out of the receptionist’s desk drawer, then marched Tanner to the men’s restroom. Once the door closed, he turned Tanner so his back was to the mirror and handed him the compact. “Look and see for yourself.”

Completely frustrated with Scott’s vague innuendos, Tanner looked into the compact at the back of his head. “So?”

“Don’t look at the back of your head, dufuss. Look at your back.” Scott tipped the mirror in Tanner’s hand.

Then he saw it. In bold, tanning lotion block letters were the words “Me Tarzan”.

“Why that—”

“Now Tanner, it was an innocent prank.”

“Innocent, my big foot. I’ve gotta find her.”

“She left.”

“Then I’ll go to her apartment.” Tanner twisted to reach the letters on his back with the towel.

“Here let me try.” Scott took the towel from Tanner. He soaked a corner of the terry cloth in warm water and rubbed at the offending letters.

Tanner watched through the compact mirror. “Well? Did any of it come off?”

Scott paused to look at the towel. “Sorry, buddy, none of it’s coming off. I think it has to wear off.”

“Let me at her.” Jaw clenched tight, Tanner pushed Scott aside and strode through the showroom. The inside lights were out and the lot outside had cleared. With the exception of one huge pile of something.

“Hey, what’s that in the middle of the pavement?” Tanner peered through the glass doors. Unable to identify it, he tossed the towel over his shoulders and stepped outside. The stench assailed his nostrils before he got within ten feet of the mystery substance.

Scott held his hand over his nose. “Looks like Fifi left her calling card.”

“Why did the trainer leave it here?”

“Come to think of it, cleanup
was
specifically mentioned in his contract,” Scott said.

“Then why didn’t he do it?”

“That’s the problem. I recall somewhere in the fine print, that you are responsible for all cleanup.” Scott grinned and lifted a hand in farewell. “Have fun.”

“I’m responsible?” Tanner gaped at the reeking pile of elephant dung. “Who am I gonna get out here at this time of night to clean up this mess?”

Scott was halfway across the lot before he answered, “Well, boss, I have to get home. I have a roast in the crockpot.”

“You don’t even own a crockpot, nor would you know how to use one. Get back here and help me with this.”

“Sorry, boss.” Scott slid behind the wheel of his SUV and rolled down the window. “It’s not in my contract to clean up after elephants who aren’t properly car-lot-trained. See you tomorrow. You know, you better have that gone by mornin’. The odor could take a bite out of sales.”

Tanner chucked the towel at Scott’s retreating vehicle. Why did it seem the more he tried, the deeper he got? Soon, he’d be in over his head and that stunk.

* * *

The phone was on its seventh ring by the time Janine got her door unlocked. Something about a phone ringing on the other side of the door that set her on edge. That feeling of knowing someone might need you and you couldn’t get to them fast enough was all she could figure.

But tonight, Janine hoped the instrument would stop ringing before she could answer it. She didn’t feel like talking to anyone, especially this late. All she wanted was a shower and a cup of tea.

She dropped her purse and keys on the hall table and lifted the phone to her ear. “Hello.”

“Oh my god, Janine. Saw you on that Pesky Motors commercial tonight. You were superb.”

“Thanks, Monty.” Janine cradled the cordless phone on her shoulder and walked across the small living room to the only bedroom in her efficiency apartment. She really didn’t want to talk to her agent at this hour. Monty tended to go on and on about what she could change to land a gig. “Do you realize it’s almost eleven-thirty? Why are you calling so late? It’s not like you.”

“I was so excited by your performance tonight, I called a friend back in L.A. I think I may have an audition lined up.”

All fatigue vanished before Monty finished his sentence. “Really?” Her pulse raced, but she tried not to let herself get too excited. She’d had hundreds of auditions and had yet to land a decent role. But none of the auditions had been in L.A.

“Yeah, really. It’s for work in commercials. At least you’ll be getting your face seen out in L.A.—if you do it.”

Janine’s balloon deflated. “Commercials?”

“Not everybody walks into the job of their dreams the first time out. At least, this will get you bill-paying work and your face seen by more of the people who count in the movie industry.”

“But Monty, I don’t want to do commercials the rest of my life. I want to do serious acting.” Her shoulders slumped. “You know that.”

“I get you the auditions, the rest is up to you and the casting director. You have to build up some credits. Doing makeup conventions isn’t getting you seen by producers.”

Janine kicked her shoes in the direction of the closet, and she ran a hand through her hair, shuffling the phone to the other ear. “I know, Monty. It just takes so long to break into the business. If something doesn’t happen soon, I’ll be playing Juliet’s mother instead of Juliet.”

“Hang in there, Janine. I’ll call as soon as I get more details.”

“Okay, Monty. I appreciate all you’ve done.” Janine pushed the off button, and dropped the phone on the bed. So much for big breaks. She trudged into the miniscule bathroom and turned on the water in the shower.

Why did chasing your dream have to be so difficult? The roller-coaster-ride of emotions wore on her stamina and she began to doubt her choice of careers. Perhaps she should be glad and settle for commercials. The work put bread and butter on the table. Granted, commercials in Austin versus commercials in L.A. would be a little different.

Janine stripped out of her Jane outfit and stepped under the shower spray, mentally listing the pros and cons.

If she went to L.A., she could possibly be in commercials on national television where the casting agents had more of a chance of discovering her than in Austin, Texas. Of course, the cost of living would practically eat her alive. That had been one of the deciding factors for staying in Austin all this time. She wasn’t sure she wanted to suffer like so many other starving artists trying to break into the movie industry in California.

At least in Austin, she could afford an apartment by working part-time doing commercials and conventions. The odd part she landed in the theatre was a step in the right direction for her acting career. But at the rate she was progressing, she’d be dead before she was discovered.

Janine turned off the water and wrapped her hair in a towel. Monty was right. She should be in Los Angeles or New York City. Austin wasn’t getting her where she wanted to be.

Perhaps the thought of leaving Austin was what held her back. This was the town she’d been raised in since she could remember. She was comfortable here. She knew the city like the back of her hand. What did she know about L.A. other than what she’d learned by studying maps and brochures acquired via the Internet?

Other than her mother, she didn’t have any family left in Austin and her friends weren’t really close. So what was keeping her here? If asked that question a month ago, she’d have said nothing.

An unbidden picture of Tanner flashed through her mind. What was he doing there? Not as if he was family or a friend. They barely knew each other.