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Authors: Candice Dow

BOOK: Tappin' On Thirty
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We hadn't shared a moment like this since months after Nicole was born. Suddenly, I found something lifting off of my heart. Maybe all I ever wanted from her was an apology and for her to acknowledge how I rearranged my entire life to adapt to her sneaky trap. More than that, I forgave myself for believing in her. The girl across the table was the one I fell for. “Maybe I did hate you.”
We laughed. She shook her head. “That hate is only pulling you down. I love you, Devin. You deserve to be happy.” She sighed. “You won't be happy until you forgive me.”
“I forgive you, Jay. I forgive you.”
26
SCOOTER
I
f I could take her pain away, I would do it in a heartbeat. She lay in the bed we shared, watching our relationship crumble to pieces. Each time I stepped into the bedroom, she'd throw something or curse at me. After forty-eight hours straight of this, it began to sound like background music. As the weekend approached, my heart was in limbo. Should I stay and doctor her and deal with her verbal abuse or should I go and solidify the relationship I want to be in?
When I sat on the edge of the bed, she moved her leg over. I stared at the wall and took a deep breath. She snapped, “Why the fuck are you in here?”
“Maybe because I care.”
“You don't care about me. I swear, I hope you die.”
Her words were so brutal. I rubbed my eyes. “Yo, it doesn't have to be like this. We were friends first.”
“What makes you think I want to be your friend?”
Decisions needed to be made. As long as she could avoid talking to me by talking at me, we could not come to a resolution.
“We have to discuss what we're going to do.”
“I can't even walk and you want to know what I'm going to do. I'm not going anywhere. If you want to leave, you can go.”
“Okay. I'll do that.”
“When are you leaving?”
“I don't know.”
“You have to continue to pay your half of the rent.” She sucked her teeth. “We're going to have to replace the carpet.”
As she ran down the additional money I needed to resolve the relationship, I began to reconsider.
It's cheaper to keep her
. How was I to finagle this whole situation on my resident salary?
My search for freedom began to feel like entrapment. I touched her thigh. “Akua, you don't think you can find a roommate?”
“You find a damn roommate! You think I'm going to make this easy for you.”
“You're right.” I paused. “I'm going to Maryland to see my family this weekend.”
“Are you calling that bitch your family?”
“You know my grandfather is sick.”
She winced and I jumped because I thought I bumped into her foot. After throwing a highlighter at me, she shouted. “You think I'm stupid. Your grandfather has been sick forever and you haven't gone to see him.” She panted. “Is your mother in on this?”
“My mother doesn't know anything about what's going on.”
It all began to register, as she shook her head suspiciously. “I thought that phone call was strange. Your mother never talks to me that long.”
“She doesn't know anything. I really want to just keep this between us until it's all settled.”
“Go to hell! It is settled. I'll tell whoever I want!”
I stood up and looked at her sitting helpless and full of rage. I pleaded, “Akua, please.”
She put her middle finger up and dropped her eyes back to the book like I wasn't even standing there. I walked into the hall and heard her dialing a phone number. Akua's voice trickled from the room. My antenna stood up wondering if she had called my mother back. Her thick accent made me assume she was speaking to someone in her family. Then, I heard her say, “Daddy, I want to come home. I'm off until Saturday. Can you come get me tonight?”
I mouthed. “Damn.”
After I'd just asked her to keep it on the low until we settled everything, she called my worst enemy. My heart raced, as I prepared for confrontation. I walked back and stood in the doorway. Her trembling voice didn't match her composed appearance. “Daddy, I'm hurt. I cut my foot. I can't drive. Come get me.”
I slouched on the door frame and shook my head. I mouthed. “I'll take you home.”
She put up her middle finger and mouthed. “Go to hell.”
She chuckled into the receiver. “You're right, Daddy. He is a no-good man.”
I grabbed my keys from the nightstand and stormed out of the room. It was time to make my phone call, plus I didn't want to be around when her parents got here and saw the mess I'd created.
She said, “What time will you be here? If you leave now, you can be here in an hour and a half.”
Driving from New York could take a little shy of that, so I decided to get out now and stay out for the next three hours. Damn if I wanted to face a man whose daughter I just crushed. With my hand on the door, I concluded that we had declared war.
27
TAYLOR
B
y week's end, the phone calls had stopped and my life was back to normal. I could hear Scooter's car running, as he kept telling me about the surprise he had for me. I rambled off some special items I needed.
“Is it a laptop?”
He chuckled. “Tay-Bae. Just wait.”
“Um, is it the Louis Vutton I showed you?”
He snickered. “It's a surprise.”
It reminded me of when we were young. Scooter was always full of surprises. He changed topics. “So, are we going to have a long-distance relationship or are you going to move to New Haven?”
Whatever, I'd been around and Scooter was definitely a rare catch. “No, I'll move to New Haven.”
“Would you really?”
“As soon as you handle your business, I'll move.”
“So, what are you going to do when you get here?”
I smiled because I'd already sorted this out in my mind. “There are enough firms in Connecticut. I can get a job. That's nothing.”
“Wow. You got it all figured out. Huh?”
Not to sound too excited, I chuckled. “Nah, just a few thoughts.”
“So, what about your house?”
“Rent it out.”
“You are such a risk taker.”
“Life is short. You might be my baby daddy.”
“You ain't lying.”
I looked at the time. He'd long passed his curfew. A piece of me wanted to ask if Kuku was working, but I decided not to. When I heard his car start, I knew I had five minutes before he was gone.
“I miss you, Scooter.”
“I miss you, too.”
“I can't wait to see you.”
Instead of the synonymous response, he said, “I'm glad you've already figured out whether or not you'd move here. That makes my decision easier.”
“I thought you said your decision was going to be easy anyway.”
“It's easy and hard at the same time.”
I held my chest. If Kuku was as anal as he claimed, why was this hard? I'm his ideal. She is his might-as-well. We have a connection. They just have an agreement. Isn't there a difference? Shouldn't it be easy to decide?
While my mind mulled over his options, he said. “I never wanted to hurt anybody.”
Man up, Scooter.
“I never wanted to end up with the wrong person. At our age, if you hang in there just because you don't want to hurt someone, you'll find yourself in divorce court five years from now,” I said.
He gasped. “I feel you, Tay-Bae.”
His engine stopped running. Trying to take control, I initiated our good-byes. “Okay, I need to get this place in order for my company this weekend.”
“Now?”
“Yes, now.”
“I want to talk to you.”
I could no longer pretend this wasn't strange. “Aren't you home?”
He snickered. “Yes.”
“Where's your roommate?”
He huffed. “I don't know.”
Refusing to be his entertainment while his roommate was away, I told him I had to go. He asked questions to keep me going, but I finally hung up.
Stay in control Tay
.
You're ahead of the game
.
28
TAYLOR
S
cooter knocked on the door around eight o'clock. Our reservation at the Melting Pot in Annapolis was at eight forty-five. When he walked in, I looked behind him and in his hands. Where was my surprise? His duffle bag hung on his shoulder. Okay, maybe it's in there. As I inspected him for my gift, he reached out for a hug. His entire weight collapsed on my shoulders. I kissed his cheek. He pulled my head into his chest and stroked my hair. “Tay-Bae.”
Since it appeared he wanted to extend the length of our embrace, I leaned into him patiently. He sighed. I mumbled, “You okay, baby?”
Finally, he let me go. “Yeah, I'm good. Especially, now.”
Although I really was more interested in seeing my surprise, I blushed. “I'm happy to see you, too.”
He dropped his bag and fell onto the couch. I sat beside him. “What time did you leave Connecticut?”
“Ah, around four.”
“You must have been flying.”
“Just escaping the drama.”
I was curious what he meant, but I refrained from asking. I rubbed his leg. He wrapped his arm around me and kissed the side of my forehead. I curled my legs up on the couch. He reached over and rubbed my thigh. Without apprehension, he said, “I love you, Tay.”
“Uh, I love you, too.”
“I'm glad we have a second chance.”
“Me too.”
He said, “What time is dinner?”
“Eight forty-five.”
He checked his watch. And I looked too. No man of mine should be walking around with a stainless steel Adidas digital watch. A nice watch is a prerequisite. Well, Scooter was the exception and not the rule. Still, I asked, “Is that the only watch you have?”
“Yeah, why?”
“I'm just curious.”
Obviously not as superficial as me, he glanced down at the scratched face and shrugged. I chuckled. He looked again. “What?”
“Nothing.”
He grabbed my wrist and examined my watch. “What kind of watch is that?”
“Michele CSX.”
“I guess that's some designer, huh?”
I nodded. He stood up. “Let me go wash my face and get ready to go.”
He grabbed his bag and headed upstairs. Still, no mention of my surprise.
 
When we got to the restaurant, I'd given up on my surprise. The waiter came to explain the menu and the cooking procedure. Our first selection was a cheese fondue. We agreed on the type of cheese. Then, the waiter asked for our drink order. Just as I was about to blurt out the ingredients for a Royal Red Apple martini, Scooter said, “Give me a bottle of your best champagne.”
No. I don't drink champagne
. I'm a martini girl. The waiter raised his eyebrows, “Celebrating something tonight?”
“Just being together,” Scooter said.
The steam from the fondue pot began to rise between us. With clouded vision, we blushed. The two of us sitting here together, realizing all the dreams we shared as teenagers. We'd come full-circle only to realize where we wanted to be.
The waiter mixed up the cheese before pouring our champagne. He looked at Scooter, “Do you guys want the cheese to be spicy?”
He nodded. I smiled, because it was a pleasure to be with someone who knew my tastebuds. Finally, he poured the champagne. When the bubbly settled in our flute glasses, Scooter raised his up. I returned the gesture. “Let's toast.”
I nodded. “To us.”
“Yes, to us.”
As I tilted the glass to my lips, he said, “I broke up with my girlfriend.”
I sat my glass down. I said, nearly choking on my words, “You did what?”
“I told Akua that I wanted to end our relationship.”
Though I'd fantasized about this moment, fear consumed me. Did he leave her for me? Oh shit! This was real. He really did love me like no one else.
Okay, Taylor, say something
.
Nothing of substance would exit my lips, as I repeated, “You did what?”
He laughed. “Tay, we've been talking about this for weeks.”
Exactly. Weeks.
The conflict occurring inside of me made me wonder if this was what I really wanted. Did I really want a man who could walk out on his girl in weeks?
“After the day you got those phone calls, I knew I had to decide. I didn't want you out here anymore. I wanted to make you happy.”
Should a tear be welling in my eyes? Should I jump up and down? Suddenly, Akua was more than this other woman. She was a person whose man rolled out on her for me. As my mouth hung open, he dipped a piece of bread into the fondue and extended the fondue fork for me to taste.
“Don't look so shocked.”
I chomped down on the fork. My thoughts flowed rapidly. “I'm not shocked. I just want to make sure we both know what we're getting into.”
“For me, it's more of what I'm getting out of. You were just my wake-up call. I was complacent until I found what I was always looking for.”
“For me, I guess I've waited so long to be with you again that I'm actually scared. It's been a long time since I've been on the same accord with someone. You know?”
He dipped an apple into the pot and handed the fork to me. “Don't be scared, Tay. We're going to take this one step at a time. I feel like if we're going to do this, we have to do it right. My heart can't be in two places at once. I know you told me to take my time, but you know I'm a one-woman man.”
“That's why you can't be replaced.”
“I hope you're not trying to replace me just yet.”
I smirked. “I learned my lesson.”
“I hope so.” He sighed. “My fear is that I could end up alone.”
I wanted to promise him that he wouldn't, but you never can foresee the end in the beginning. Instead, I smiled. “I understand. This is very scary. So, how are you going to manage your living arrangement?”
He blew air out of his nose. I raised my eyebrows and twitched my eyes, demanding he dispel his evacuation plan.
“That's the thing.”
“What thing?”
“Our lease isn't up until March. She still wants me to pay half of the rent and utilities until the lease is up.”
I nodded. “Understandably so . . .”
“Yeah, but I can't afford that and my own place and trips back and forth to see you.”
Just as I was about to offer some financial help, I retracted.
Taylor, you are too cool for that
. If this is really what he wants, he'll figure it out. “So what are you saying?”
“Akua and I will be roommates until March. We have a two bedroom apartment.”
I sipped some of the champagne. “So, are we supposed to be just friends until March or what?”
“That's not what I was hoping. I hoped we'd be a couple.”
The server came with our meats and vegetables. He mixed our bouillon in the fondue pot. The fresh steam seeping between us distorted reality and my common sense went up in smoke.
“How can we be a couple if you live with her?”
“Every weekend that I'm off, I'll be here. On the other weekends, you can come to Stamford.”
It seemed reasonable enough. By golly, I'd waited nine years. What's four months? If I miss this boat, it's almost guaranteed I'll hit the big three-oh as a damn spinster. Scooter and I were already past the fluff. Anyone else, it would take a year or two to get to this point. This is clutch time. He was the shortest distance between here and my destiny. As I rationalized this irrational relationship proposal, Scooter took the cooked meat from the pot and put some on my plate. I looked at the guy who'd always taken care of me and my unstable brain said, “Whatever, man.”
He lifted his glass again. “Whatever.”
“Whatever. Whatever.”
He said. “Whatever. Wherever. Whenever.”
I stared at the ceiling, searching for another spin on whatever. Finally, I giggled. “What the fuck ever.”
We giggled. Our eyes glazed over as we stared through a cloud into the eyes of our future. It was whatever.
 
When we walked into the house, Scooter took my hand and began to dance with me. No music played, but we were on beat, gliding to the possibilities. We two-stepped to the entertainment center, he picked up a remote. “Is this for your stereo?”
I shook my head and grabbed the remote for my stereo. Then, I fiddled with my iPod to get to my slow jam playlist. Old-school slow jams came through the speakers. Scooter kissed on my neck. I rubbed the back of his head. His forehead tilted into mine. He stared into my eyes. “It's funny how you can love someone your whole life.”
“I know. It's funny.”
“I'm glad we're here.”
“I am too.”
His tongue plunged into my mouth. I pulled his shirt from his pants and my hands explored his body. Intense kisses mixed with soft pecks united us. Removing his lips momentarily to lift my sweater over my head, he said, “I love you, Tay.”
Muffled by his mouth, I replied, “I love you, too.”
After practically ripping our clothes off, he backed into my recliner. His astute soldier saluted me. My eyelids fluttered as I basked in his physique. He gestured for me to come closer as he quickly put on a condom. My legs straddled the chair and I lowered myself onto him. Each thrust transmitted tiny shocks to my heart. I leaned my breast into his mouth. He tantalized my nipples with sensual tongue flickering. I moaned. He groaned. As his body absorbed mine, I came to peace with the skewed love triangle that my extended degrees of single life forced me into.
My head collapsed on his shoulder. His arms slouched around my back, as we panted. This is who I'd waited nine years for. This is where I want to be. His deep breaths of gratitude told me he was elated that I convinced him this was right. He deserved me and I damn sure deserved him.
He kissed my shoulders. “Tay-Bae, let's go upstairs.”
When we got into my room, remnants of the night we shared when he was Akua's man lingered. As an afterthought, I asked, “Are you happy with your decision?”
“What do you think?”
I shrugged my shoulders. “I don't know. That's why I'm asking.”
He nodded. My stomach proceeded to sink, similar to the feeling of being nanoseconds from a collision. “Are you sure?” I asked.
He hugged me. “Yes, Tay-Bae. I'm happy we're together.”
Just like that. In a few days shy of a month, I stole him from the girl he thought he'd marry. I felt nauseous. Was it my fear of commitment or his lack of it stuffing me with these emotions?

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