Authors: Kay Bratt
As grumpy as he was, he didn’t ask any more questions. Li Jin remembered the small bag of cashews she’d picked up at the station and dug in her bag until she found them. She tore open the package and passed it to him.
“Here, eat these. When we get off the bus, I’ll get you something better.”
Jojo took the cashews and poured some in his hand, then passed them to her. “Only if you eat half because I know you’re hungry, too, Ma.”
Li Jin smiled. Despite being exhausted, hungry, and probably even confused, Jojo was still the sweet little boy she’d raised. She took the cashews from him and popped them into her mouth. As soon as the saltiness hit her tongue, she felt hunger and it surprised her. Since the attack from Erik, she hadn’t felt like eating anything and even the thought of food had sickened her. Jing had forced her to at least eat congee but it had been difficult. The return of her appetite was a welcome sign that she was on the right track as she chewed and swallowed the salty nuts. A few more minutes and she hoped to be able to add a bowl of steaming noodles to her growling stomach.
Finally they pulled into the station and Jojo popped out of his seat like a jack-in-the-box. With much less enthusiasm because of how drained she felt, Li Jin joined him and handed him his bag and pillow, then nudged him into the aisle to start the shuffle through the narrow space and out the bus door.
Jojo stepped to the side. “You go first, Ma. I’ll watch out for you.”
Li Jin smiled and squeezed in front of him. It was sweet how protective he was being but she didn’t want him feeling that kind of pressure. It was her job to be the protector—not his. But she’d let it pass this once because they were tired, hungry, and ready to get off the bus. Li Jin’s muscles, which had felt much better at the beginning of the trip, were beginning to scream in protest after the long ride.
“Okay, but hurry. We need to beat all the old people to the noodle stand and then we’ll have more time to walk around and get our blood moving.”
Unfortunately her words were lost as the two older women butted in front of Jojo, putting more distance between them. Li Jin struggled to see him around the women but gave up and allowed herself to be pushed up the aisle. Through the corner of her eye, she saw the women let even more passengers in front of them. Now there were at least five people between her and Jojo. Li Jin would just have to get him when he got off the bus.
Finally after being bumped, shoved, and elbowed, she found herself standing on the sidewalk, waiting for Jojo to emerge. Not surprisingly, the bus station was packed and noisy. All around her, other passengers and station pedestrians rushed here and there, and Li Jin started to feel nervous. Where was he?
Li Jin heard some loud laughing and turned to see a group of young guys, dressed similarly to the gang boy, huddled behind her. They all wore black bandanas, some on their heads and some tied around their upper arms. They appeared to be having a great time pointing out people and making fun of them. Li Jin felt sure they were probably waiting for the surly guy who’d been on her bus, and she searched the crowd around them, hoping Jojo didn’t fall prey to their bullying antics. She didn’t see him and turned back around to watch the rest of the passengers from her bus disembark. More passengers stiffly climbed off until the last ones dwindled out. Everyone but Jojo. Li Jin felt a moment of nausea. She must have missed him. Looking around frantically, she called his name.
“Jojo! Where are you? Jojo…?”
Juggling her bag and pillow, she pushed through the sea of people to the security guard standing against the wall at the entrance to the station.
“Dui bu qi
.
”
She pecked on his shoulder to get his attention away from the scene of two passengers arguing over the window seat on the bus parked at the curb in front of them.
He looked at her. “What?”
His tone told her he didn’t really want to be bothered.
“My son got lost in the crowd. I need your help,” Li Jin answered as she continued to watch the people around the bus she’d just left. He had to be close; there was no way he could have gone too far so quickly.
The guard pointed at the ticket window and spat on the ground in front of her. “Go there and fill out a missing report. Then come see me and I’ll start looking.”
“A report? This isn’t a missing piece of luggage. It’s my son and we need to find him right now!”
The guard shook his head slowly. “Report first.”
Li Jin stopped in her tracks and felt a rush of heat start in her toes and work its way up to her face.
This couldn’t be happening. Hadn’t they been through enough?
She thought about the cell phone in her pocket. It was only a lender from Jing but who could she call? No one could help her from so far away. She wished now that she’d gotten Jojo his own phone; at least then she could’ve called him and found out where he was. But he did have her number! He would ask someone to use their phone! She pulled her phone out of her bag and looked at it. He hadn’t called.
She went past the window and into the station. The scene in there was a little quieter but still filled with far too many people. Many stood in line at the bag station, paying a few reminbi to get a checkered plastic carrying bag to put all of their clothes into. Others gathered around in small groups, passing around food and thermoses of hot water for tea. Against one wall a line of food vendors stood behind their stands, hawking noodles and other items. Li Jin had lost her appetite but thought maybe Jojo had
been drawn there by the smell of food. She looked but he wasn’t anywhere to be found. She ran back out the door and to the window. Ignoring the line of people, she skirted right to the front. It was an emergency, after all, she thought as she heard the grumbling start.
“My son is lost and the security guard said I needed to fill out a missing form.”
The night clerk sighed in exasperation but reached into a file stand and pulled out a piece of paper. She passed it through the window, then stared at Li Jin as she began to fill out the short form.
“Can’t this be done later after we’ve searched for my son?” Li Jin couldn’t believe the pointless questions on the form that had nothing to do with her or her son. She looked around and saw a woman sitting on a bench, holding the string leading to a red balloon. The woman looked so much like Jing there was no doubt who it was. She dropped the pen, picked up her bag, and crossed the area.
“
Ni hao,
are you Lao Shuwen?” she asked her.
Lao Shuwen stood and a shy smile spread across her face. “That I am. You must be Li Jin. My sister had told me—”
Li Jin held her hand up and saw it was shaking, then put it back down again. “I’m sorry to interrupt, Lao Shuwen, but my son got lost in the crowd getting off the bus and we’ve got to find him. I don’t have time to talk.”
The older woman put her hand on Li Jin’s shoulder. “Calm down. What’s he wearing? Tell me what he looks like.”
“He’s ten.” Li Jin held her hand up to her chest. “About this tall and he’s skinny. He has a bag—oh, and he should be carrying a pillow.” She turned to search the crowd again.
“What else? We’ll need to split up. You go that way and I’ll go this way. We’ll meet back here at this bench.” Shuwen pointed in opposite directions, then at the bench.
“And he’s wearing a bright yellow scarf Jing gave him.” She thought of the way he had smiled when Jing had given him the hand-knitted scarf; you’d have thought it was worth a lot of money the way he held it to his face. Li Jin knew what he felt in that moment—it was love. It was moments like that when Li Jin felt the loss of grandparents in her son’s life. Suddenly she remembered that Jojo had told her he needed to use the toilet.
“Wait! He might have gone straight to the restroom!” She turned in a circle, trying to find a sign pointing to the facilities.
“It’s over here. Come on.” Shuwen walked quickly to a small shed-like building with two doors. One had a sign of a pipe on it, the other a high-heeled shoe. They both had a place to put a coin.
“These are only one-person stalls and he’d have had to pay to get in there. Did he have any money?” Shuwen asked.
Li Jin shook her head. “No, he didn’t.”
The door to the men’s room opened and a man stepped out, still pulling up his zipper. Li Jin could see the tiny room behind him with the hole in the floor. No one else was in there.
Shuwen pointed down the sidewalk. “Go check over there near the taxi line. He might be waiting there for you. I’ll go the other way. If you don’t find him in half an hour, meet me at the bench.”
She turned and went the other way, still holding the balloon meant for Jojo. Li Jin watched her for one second, then felt the tears burn in her eyes. No longer feeling hunger or exhaustion, she took off at a jog toward the taxi line.
L
i Jin struggled to stay awake. She held up her watch and squinted through tired eyes to try to see the time.
“Four o’clock,” Shuwen said from beside her. “Do you think we could go to the house now? Get some rest?”
Li Jin shook her head. She wasn’t leaving. This was the last place she knew for sure that Jojo had been, and what if he came back? It would soon be daylight and they’d spent the last six hours searching the same places over and over. The security guard had finally gotten involved, even bringing in two more officers to help. Shuwen had called her driver and he’d also searched until he felt it was useless and had retreated back to the van to wait. The guard called the police and an officer arrived and took a quick report, but he told her she’d have to file a formal one the next day. Despite all efforts, Jojo was nowhere to be found.
“No, but please, Lao Shuwen, you go on ahead.” Li Jin stared straight ahead at the empty place the bus they’d come in on had left when it took off. She was exhausted and weak, but so far none of the tragedies in her life could compare to the pain she felt at losing Jojo. It wasn’t even just mental—she truly felt a physical ache throughout her entire body. Where was he? Was he hurt? Hungry? Had whoever took him let him use the bathroom? Silly questions for such a serious predicament, she thought to herself. She at least hoped he knew that she was looking for him and would never give up until she found him.
“Li Jin, I know you don’t want to leave here but you have to get some sleep so tomorrow you can keep up the search.” Shuwen reached over and picked up Li Jin’s limp hand. She held it and patted the top of it. “We’ve searched every corner, my dear. He is not in this station. Tomorrow’s a new day and the police department will help us.”
Li Jin shook her head. She could feel the hot, silent tears begin to run in rivers down her cheeks. Why? What had she ever done to deserve this? Jojo was the only piece of her life that wasn’t a total disaster. With him gone, she had no reason to live. None.
Around them the station had quieted to a dull hum. People slept on benches and propped on their bags on the floor. Li Jin couldn’t understand how they could just sleep like nothing was happening when her life had just been turned upside down.
She had called Jing in Suzhou around midnight and though the woman tried her best to comfort Li Jin, she didn’t have anything to say that helped. It was hopeless. And Shuwen, her sister, had stayed and helped in the search, despite being old and obviously tired. When she saw the woman prop one of her feet up on her other knee and rub it again, Li Jin felt a rush of pity and knew the woman needed to get home and go to bed. She stood up.
“You promise we can come right back here in a few hours?”
Shuwen nodded and stood up. “Of course, child. We’ll go by the police department first and then come straight here.” She gathered up her bag and umbrella, then waited for Li Jin.
Li Jin looked at the wilting red balloon tied to the bench behind Shuwen. They’d put it there hours earlier, hoping Jojo would see it. “Can we leave the balloon?”
Shuwen nodded, then dug in her bag and came up with a black marker. She handed it to Li Jin. “Here. Write your number on it, just in case.”
Li Jin pulled the phone from her bag and flipped it open. She punched a few keys until her number came up, then copied it onto the side of the latex balloon. Underneath she wrote,
Jojo, I’ll be back here soon. If you come, don’t move. Wait here. I love you. Ma.
She hesitated, debating her decision, but Shuwen pulled her along. She led Li Jin through the parking lot to a blue Buick van and she pecked on the window. The driver, stretched out sound asleep on one of the seats in the back, jumped up and opened the door. Li Jin saw her bag and pillow on the floor where he had stored it earlier and she thought again of Jojo clutching his pillow to his chest as he beckoned for her to go first down the aisle. If she’d only made him step out in front of her so she could’ve kept her eyes on him. She was so stupid!
“Did you find him?” His hair stood up all over and Li Jin felt a flash of guilt for being the reason he hadn’t been able to return home to his family.
Shuwen shook her head and guided Li Jin up and into the van. “No, but we’ll come back tomorrow. Let’s get Li Jin to the house and to bed for a few hours.”
Li Jin moved over close to the far window and sat down. Shuwen sat beside her, then pulled a pack of crackers from the console. She handed them to Li Jin. “Nibble on these. You must be weak by now.”
Li Jin took them from her and held them in her hand. She was past the point of arguing. She felt strange, as if she were moving through a dream. She knew she looked like a madwoman, her hair wild around her face and her clothes filthy from being in the station all night. She had run through there, sweating and crying as she called his name over and over. People had moved out of the way immediately and Li Jin didn’t even care about the fear she saw in their eyes at the way she looked. Her mind raced to come up with reasons why someone would take Jojo. Her biggest fear was that he’d been taken for child trafficking, as it was a common crime within China. Or he could’ve been taken to serve as a pawn in a beggar ring. She looked out the window, still searching for him at every corner, every streetlight.
She’d spent years on the streets and had met children who’d been stolen only to be forced to beg for their captors. She didn’t know where or why he was gone; she just wanted Jojo back.
Li Jin awoke when the driver stopped the van and Shuwen reached over and shook her.
“We’re in Hongcun now,” she said. “We made record time, too. This early in the morning the traffic was so light it only took us a little over an hour.”
For a minute Li Jin forgot where she was and looked around for Jojo. He was usually right beside her. When she saw only Shuwen there, it all came back and Li Jin felt nauseated. It had really happened; someone had taken her son. She leaned her head back on the headrest and closed her eyes again. She just wanted to shut everything out.
“Come on, Li Jin. We’ll go inside, and I’ll make you some strong tea and a bowl of congee. You need to get something in your stomach before you go back to sleep.”
Li Jin stared down at the pack of crackers still in her lap, untouched. She got up and climbed out of the van behind the old woman, then turned around and picked up her bag and pillow.
“I don’t want to sleep. Jojo is out there somewhere,” she mumbled, so tired she knew her words sounded unintelligible.
Moving clumsily with her sling, she gathered the pillow against her and welcomed the jolt of pain that ran up through her body. She wouldn’t even flinch. She deserved much more than that for being such an incompetent mother. She turned to follow Shuwen.
They were parked behind a two-story brick building in a very run-down lot. The lot was full but the space the driver had pulled the van into had a sign at the front stating
RESERVED FOR OFFICIAL. WILL TOW VIOLATORS
. Li Jin assumed Shuwen was the supposed official since her van was parked there.
“Follow me,” Shuwen said as she led Li Jin through the vehicles and to a covered walkway. The path led into a small walking bridge over a large pond. At the other side of the bridge walkway was a quaint building with a large, red round door. On the door, large gold characters read
MOON HARBOR INN,
with
open for renting
posted on a small sign
beside it.
“Moon Harbor Inn?” she asked.
“Yes, we run a small inn here for tourists. But my girls live in the converted attic. Most people don’t even know there is anyone living here other than me and my housekeeper. The customers think the girls they see are just hired help, in and out.”
Li Jin watched silently as Shuwen unlocked the door and held it open for her. She walked through and stood, waiting for Shuwen to lead. The woman locked the deadbolt and then found her place in front again. They walked down a long empty hall until they entered a large kitchen.
“Take a seat, Li Jin. Let me find Wan.”
Li Jin pulled a chair from the long table and sat down, letting her bag settle at her feet. She put the pillow on the table and traced the shape of the phoenix. For some reason, it gave her comfort and hope that somewhere Jojo was doing the same with his own pillow. She looked around the quiet room. The wooden table she sat at had nine chairs—four on each side and one at the head. Li Jin assumed that one was reserved for Shuwen. Each place at the table had an inviting bamboo place mat with a set of chopsticks resting on a tiny ceramic holder. A large bowl in the center held a variety of oranges and other fruit. Li Jin ran her hand over the surface of the table; it was old and scarred, but, unlike the modern furniture that Erik preferred, it had character and probably years of memories. Actually, the entire room felt homier than any room Li Jin had ever been in. She felt a pang of longing, wishing she could provide something similar for Jojo.
Her eyes wandered to the middle of the room where a huge embroidered rug of red and gold circles lay. It was clean and obviously meticulously cared for. Beside the large industrial sink was the biggest stove top Li Jin had ever seen and above it hung a stainless steel rack of pots and woks. She thought they must do a lot of cooking and felt a small rumble in the pit of her stomach. She knew she needed to eat or she’d be useless to find Jojo the next day. She was still tired but most of all she was weak. She didn’t even know how many hours it was since she’d had a meal—maybe a day? She remembered Jojo sharing the cashews with her and felt a lump rise in her throat again.
Where was he? Was he okay?
She looked at her watch. It was almost five in the morning and they had been apart for seven hours. A lot could happen to a little boy in seven hours. Horrible visions filled her mind; visions she didn’t want any part of.
She laid her head on the pillow and closed her eyes. No more tears would come; she’d cried herself dry.
She rested for a moment, then raised her head when she heard Shuwen returning with another set of footsteps behind her. Before she could even make a judgment on the woman called Auntie Wan, the petite woman moved behind her and began pulling her hair back. She produced a brush from somewhere and Li Jin felt it move through her hair.
“Um…
ni hao
?” she said, looking up at Shuwen with raised eyebrows. She fought the urge to jerk her head away. She heard a sudden grunt from the woman behind her and felt her head tugged back as Wan began gathering her hair to form a braid.
“The woman behind you is Auntie Wan. She’s in charge of the kitchen and thinks she’s in charge of the girls. Wan thinks to feel a sense of calm, one must look calm. I told her about Jojo and she is here to get you settled.” She chuckled. “She insists on mothering everyone who walks through that door. Next she’ll make you wash up, then feed you until you feel like popping.”