Taming the VIP Playboy (14 page)

Marcia reached across the table and took the fork from her hand. “I wish I could tell you what to do and know that that would be the right decision, but I can't. I won't. You have to do this on your own.”

“I know that. I'm just not sure what I want.”

“Well, until you talk to him you don't even know what he wants.”

“That's true,” she admitted. “I guess I'll give him a call. I can't really leave now because of the tenth anniversary celebration at Luna Azul. I'm really busy there.”

“Stop making excuses. If you don't want to call him then don't,” Marcia said. “But make sure you are making this decision for yourself and not based on me and Riley or even Nate. If Nate loves you he'll follow you wherever you go.”

Marcia made it sound so easy. “How do I know if he loves me?”

“Did you tell him you love him?” Marcia asked.

“Yes.”

She raised both eyebrows at her. “And…”

“He didn't say anything. I mean he said thanks and that he cared for me and thought I was beautiful…”

“Oh, sweetie, I don't know what to say. What does your heart tell you?” Marcia asked.

Jen leaned back in her chair and thought about her sister's question. Her heart was just focused on Nate. She dreamed about him all night every night. Woke up the past two nights feeling afraid and alone. She wanted his arms around her and she slept better when he was with her.

“That I love him,” Jen said. “It all comes back to that. It doesn't matter if he wants me or not, I still love him.”

Marcia shook her head. “I know that place and it sucks being there. But you have to make decisions that make sense to you.”

Jen had the feeling that Marcia was talking about her own relationship with Riley's dad and not about Jen and Nate anymore. But Jen knew that there were similarities. “Why is love so hard for us?”

“Why should it be easy?” Marcia asked.

“Have I ever mentioned how much I hate it when you answer a question with a question?” Jen asked. “You always do that when you don't have the answer. Why can't you just say I don't know?”

Marcia bit her lip and looked down. “I'm your big sister, Jen, I'm supposed to have the answers. I mean, it's just you and me and Riley and I'm the one who has to know what's going on.”

Jen reached for her sister and leaned across the table to hug her. “I'm grown-up now. We can take care of each other, okay?”

Marcia nodded. “What are you going to do?”

“I don't know yet. I'm going to go meet Nate and see where that leads and then I'll decide if I should call Russell. I don't even really know anything about his clubs except their name. And that cute little koala bear logo they have.”

“I don't know much about them, either. I will see what info I can find on the internet once I put Riley to bed.”

“Thanks, Marcia. I mean for always being here for me and giving me a place to live when I made a mess of my life.”

Marcia got up from the table and ruffled Jen's hair as she walked into the kitchen to put the dishes away. “That's what family is for.”

N
ate sat on a bench under one of the palm trees and watched Jen walking toward him. Her hair was loose and blew in the spring breeze. Her legs were bare beneath a miniskirt and her shoulders bare under the sleeveless top she wore.

She took his breath away. Just looking at her made him realize how much he'd missed her the past two days. And now he had to deal with playing it cool and seeing if she was going to leave him and go work for one of his friends. It didn't matter that he knew she wouldn't be leaving him because she wanted to. He knew he set it up when he'd ignored her confession of love and not told her how he felt. He still wasn't sure he'd be able to do it.

“Hello, Nate,” she said, sitting down next to him.

“Hello, Jen.”

“Why did you ask me to meet you here?” she asked, pushing her sunglasses up on her head.

She looked tired. Like she hadn't slept in a few days. He wondered if being apart had caused an ache inside her like the one inside him.

He knew he should start off with their relationship stuff but to be honest, the thing that was really on his mind was if she was going to leave him. Leave South Florida for New Zealand and Russell Holloway.

“Have you talked to Holloway?”

She shook her head and pulled her sunglasses off her head and back over her eyes. “No. Is that why you wanted to talk to me?”

“Yes.”

“Oh, well, I haven't decided if I'm going to call him yet. I'm really busy with rehearsals for the anniversary celebration. I want to think about this before I make a decision. The last time I did something impulsive…well, let's just say it hasn't worked out as I'd hoped.”

“Do you mean me?”

“Yes, I mean you. We haven't seen each other in two days because you have been avoiding me and instead of talking to me about that, you want to know what my job plans are.”

Nate knew she had a point and felt that this wasn't going at all the way he'd planned. “It's a valid question, Jen. You are at the stage of your life where you are redefining yourself. I want to know if you are going to walk out the door.”

She wrapped an arm around her waist. “Would that matter to you?”

“Of course it would. I care about you, Jen. More than I can say, but it's there,” he said.

“I need more than that, Nate. I told you I love you and
that's still true today but I don't want to be like the other women you've dated and see you in the papers all the time and think what might have been. It would be easier for me to pretend that this meant nothing. That I could get over a broken heart by calling Russell Holloway and making plans to leave you and Luna Azul.

“But I know it's not that easy. I didn't fall in love with you on a whim. I fell in love with the man I got to know over the past few weeks. The man who talks to me in the middle of the night and isn't afraid to let me see the person behind the flashbulbs.”

Nate had nothing to say to her. Everything she said made her more vulnerable and put more power in his court but he felt like the weak one. The scared one. And one thing he did remember his mother saying was that no woman wanted a weak man. That weakness was the most unattractive thing about any human, most especially a man.

“I want to say the right thing here, honey, but I really don't know what that is,” he said, opting for honesty and hoping she'd understand all that he didn't say.

“That is lame. I told you I love you.”

“I know that. I'm not trying to be lame.”

“No,” she said, standing up. “Why can't you say you love me? You can say you want me, but there's no mention of love. Why is it? Do you really not care for me?”

Nate knew this was getting out of control and he had no idea how to fix it. “You are getting upset and that's not the way to have this conversation.”

“I'm not upset—I'm disappointed that I've finally found a man I can love and he can't say that he cares for me.”

“You know I care for you, Jen.”

She shook her head. “That's not enough.”

She turned to walk away and he was scared that she might really walk out on him. That this would be the last moment they had together.

“Jen, wait. I can do better,” he said.

She glanced back at him over her shoulder. “I know you can. I think that if it is so hard for you to admit how you feel for me then maybe you don't really love me.

“And that's okay. I can see why I'd fall in love with you. But I'm not from your world and you are used to a level of sophistication that I don't have, and maybe my normal life is just not exciting enough for you.”

Nate stood up and walked over to her. The Florida sun beamed down on both of them. It was such a nice day he didn't want to let her go. Didn't want to end this relationship with her on a day like today.

“Don't say that. I like the life you and I have. These weeks we've been together have been the most exciting of my life. I've been the closest I've been to peace since I quit playing ball.”

“I'm glad,” she said, quietly. “I want that for you.”

“Give me a chance to prove myself,” he said.

She took his hand in hers and then rose up on tiptoes to kiss him. “If you don't love me then there is nothing else to say. I can't do things in half measure and staying with you, loving you while you don't love me, would kill me, Nate. I don't want to live like that.”

 

Jen did what she did best when her life fell apart and that was pouring herself into her work. Almost three days passed before she called Russell Holloway's office and got his secretary. She put Jen through right away.

“This is Holloway.”

“Um…hello, this is Jen Miller. Cam Stern gave me your number.”

“Jen, it's about time you called me. I have heard a lot of good things about you and I'd love to meet with you in person to discuss an offer.”

“A job offer?” she asked.

“Yes. I don't know if you are familiar with my clubs…”

“Mr. Holloway—”

“Call me Russ. Everyone does.”

“Okay, Russ. I've heard of your clubs. What kind of job did you have in mind for me? Would you want me to travel to all the locations and train the dancers?”

“Yes, and choreograph new shows. I hope you don't mind but I asked Cam to send me footage of your flamenco show from the club. You are really very talented.”

She was flattered. After all the ups and downs and heartache she'd experienced in the past few weeks, it was nice to have a man just say nice things to her. “Thank you.”

“You don't have to thank me for telling the truth. Now what do you say?”

“Do I have to give you my answer right now?”

“I can wait a few days,” he said. “I'm going to send you a ticket to London.”

“Why London?”

“I'm going to be visiting the Kiwi Kensington Klub and you can join me there. Give me your answer then, okay?”

“When is it? I have a lot of rehearsals for the Luna Azul tenth anniversary coming up in May so I can't afford too many days away.”

“I like that work ethic,” he said with a laugh. “I won't keep you more than a few days.”

“Okay. I'll come see you but there is no guarantee I'll take the job.”

“I understand,” he said.

She phoned Cam and asked for a few days off and then flew to London. She had a glimpse of the life she could have. The Kiwi Klub was bigger than Luna Azul. And it would be very busy and she'd have a chance to reach more people with her dance than she ever had before, but London was cold and rainy and she missed Miami.

She missed Marcia and Riley and she knew in her heart of hearts that this wasn't what she wanted. She'd be taking the job to run away from Nate.

The next morning when she saw Russ she told him her decision.

“I'm sorry, but I guess I'm more of a homebody than I thought I was. I miss my family.”

“It's okay. I used to be like that, so I understand. If you ever change your mind, call me. I will always have room for you on my staff.”

That was a sweet offer but she knew she wouldn't take him up on it. She was tired of running.

So she flew back to Miami and went back to work. She spent every waking moment at Luna Azul. Trying to prove herself. It had somehow become important to her to make sure she spent as much time there preparing for the tenth anniversary celebration as possible, even though she knew Nate was busy and never showed his face around the club anymore.

One night, when she was alone working on a routine, she heard a voice behind her. “It's time for you to go home.”

She glanced at the door of the rehearsal hall and was surprised to see Cam there. He had been riding everyone hard at Luna Azul presumably to ensure that the extra publicity they were getting due to their anniversary celebration wasn't wasted.

“Not yet. I want to practice some of the things from the notes that Hutch sent me tonight. My dancers need to have it nailed before he heads back home.”

“They are good and so are you,” Cam said. “You need rest. You do know that's important.”

“Yes, I know it,” she said. But she wasn't going home to rest. She hadn't had a good night's sleep in close to two weeks. Not since she'd broken up with Nate in a sunny park on what should have been the best day of her life. Instead, she'd been sleeping fitfully and never really finding a moment's peace.

“Why are you still here at almost midnight?” he asked. “Why didn't you take the job that Russell offered?”

“I'm here tonight because I'm a perfectionist,” she said. “As for your other question, why do you care?”

Cam walked farther into the room and stopped in the middle of it. “I care because my employees are like family to me. I want to make sure that you're okay.”

“I'm fine,” she said.

“Even though you and Nate are no longer dating?” Cam asked.

“I don't want to talk about this with you,” she said. She started gathering up her things. “I'm going to go home now.”

“Not yet. Since you're still here and I know my brother isn't sleeping…what happened between the two of you?”

Jen didn't think she could do this. Marcia had tried
to get her to talk but she hadn't been able to. She didn't want to tell anyone that Nate didn't love her. Though his constant partying since they'd broken up was evidence enough.

“I can't talk about this. Seriously, what are you doing here? It doesn't matter how exhausted I am. I can always dance. I'm going to make sure your show rocks.”

“I have no doubt about that,” Cam said, moving around the room with a casual grace. “What happened to break you two up?”

“Please don't make me rehash this. Why don't you ask Nate?” she asked.

“I can't. Lately he's a total jerk to anyone who tries to ask him anything personal.”

Jen soaked up this information. Saddened to hear Nate was having as rough a time as she was. “He seems to be recovering nicely.”

“What?”

“He is out partying every night. The women are more beautiful than ever and I saw an interview with him from New York…he didn't seem that broken up about not having me in his life.”

“He's good at hiding what he feels. You should know that by now.”

Jen crossed her arms over her chest. “I do know that, but I can't make him feel something he doesn't, you know?”

Cam nodded. “He asked me to check in on you. Unlike Nate, you aren't in the papers every day and he has no idea if you are okay.”

“I'm okay,” she said.

“Truly?”

“No, Cam, I'm not okay. I have a broken heart and I have to be in the same physical location as the man I
love and not see him every day. It's torture, but there's nothing I can do about that.”

He nodded slowly. “I see your point. So you've been working a lot.”

“What else can I do?”

He gave her a self-mocking grin. “You are asking the wrong guy. All I do is work because it keeps me from being alone with myself.”

“I'm sorry. At least I can blame this bout of workaholism on Nate.”

“True enough. I have my own demons and they don't come from a place of love.”

“I'm sorry,” she said, realizing the slick golden boy had his own issues and problems.

“Don't be. I have no regrets.”

“Me, either, Cam. Tell Nate I don't have any regrets.”

Jen gathered her bag and slung it over her shoulder. “Did you want me to take that job that Russell offered?”

“Only if it was something you wanted. I'm not sure what you want from your career here. Working for Russell will give you exposure to a different world of people.”

She started walking toward the exit and Cam followed her.

“I do know that. I could maybe even try my hand at dancing in another part of the world,” she said to him. “Thank you again for helping out with that Carlos mess.”

“I'm just glad that he is being prosecuted and will have to spend some time behind bars. That should make him think twice before he tries to come after anyone again.”

“I agree. Thank you.”

“You're welcome. I know that you could try competitive dancing if you moved to New Zealand. Why aren't you?”

“Cam, why are you asking me this? Frankly, it doesn't seem like the sort of thing that would be on your mind.”

Cam put his hand out and touched her shoulder. “It's not for me. It's for Nate. He can't figure out why you are staying and he's tearing himself up for maybe making you give up the chance of a lifetime.”

She blinked at Cam. Nate would try to make this all about him, and in a way it was. “I decided to stop running away. Money and prestige aren't important to me. Roots and family are and I'm not about to give either of them up.”