Taming the Highland Bride (24 page)

“Well, ye’re right. It hadna occurred to me, but this whole ordeal is full of sneakin’ about and such, and I think Gerhard too forthright to do that, too.”

“Aye,” Alex agreed quietly. “He is not the sneaky sort, either. Sometimes I think ’twould be better if he did learn a bit of sneakiness.”

When she tilted her head to peer at him curiously, he explained, “The man has a sharp mind and is good with a sword, but diplomacy is not exactly his long suit, as you may have noticed. Were he just a touch less forthright, he could avoid insulting unnecessarily.”

“Hmm,” Merry murmured, but said, “Ye ken the people of d’Aumesbery better than I. Who do ye think is sneaky enough to do this?”

Alex was silent for a moment and then sat up, taking her with him. He took a moment to help when
Merry then quickly set to arranging the furs and linens around herself to be sure she was decently covered, and then admitted, “You are not going to like this.”

Merry grimaced. “Ye’re going to say Edda.”

He nodded solemnly. “I know you like her and she has been good to you, but she has proven herself sneaky in the past. When my father lived and was home, she acted much as she does with you and me now. However, when he left on the occasional journey, her demeanor changed entirely. She was cold and even cruel to those left behind, including myself and Evelinde. And then he would ride through the gate and she was suddenly sweet and dutiful again. ’Twas like there were two of her, a good Edda and an evil Edda.”

Merry considered this, upset at the possibility that Edda was not what she presented herself to be, and then admitted, “Evelinde made me promise to approach ye about sending Edda away to visit her sister for a while once we return.”

“Sister?” Alex echoed with surprise, and then nodded. “Oh, aye. I had forgotten she had one.”

“I didna even ken she had one until Evelinde told me,” Merry admitted. “I found that surprisin’ considerin’ how often we’ve sat by the fire chattin’ ower our mending on a night.”

“’Tis odd she would not have mentioned it,” Alex agreed, and then asked, “Would you mind did we send her away for a visit when we return?”

“Nay,” Merry said quietly. “I shall miss her, but it need only be until we sort things out and can prove she’s no’ behind all of this nonsense.”

“Aye,” Alex agreed, hugging her.

“My lady!”

Merry pulled a little away from Alex to glance around as Una came stumbling up. The maid was a complete mess, her hair still sleep-rumpled and her gown laced up crookedly. It was obvious she’d been in a rush to dress.

“Godfrey woke me with the news of the fire. Thank God, ye’re all right,” the woman gasped dropping to her knees beside them. “Ye didna get burned at all, did ye? Godfrey didna think ye had, but—”

“I’m fine,” Merry assured her quickly and then glanced to her husband with surprise when his chest began to rumble with fresh laughter.

“It does seem amazing to me that the women from your part of Scotland can sleep through such things. Surely the ruckus the men were making with their shouts and so on should have woken you, Una.”

“Oh.” The maid flushed, but waved that away. “I am a deep sleeper. Most o’ the people at Stewart are. It comes from years o’ Eachann and the boys stayin’ up all night drinkin’ and carousin’ and makin’ a hell o’ a racket. We are used to sleepin’ with noise.”

“Ah, that explains a lot,” Alex said with sudden understanding and eased Merry off his lap so that he could get to his feet. “I suppose we, too, should get moving. I have not done so ere this because I am not sure what we are going to do for clothing now that everything burned up in the fire, but the men are nearly finished breaking camp and I’d best look into the matter.”

Merry opened her mouth to point out that her
gowns were safe and sound in the wagon where she’d taken them last night when she’d thought she’d be sleeping there, but swallowed the words and nearly her tongue along with them as she glanced up and found herself staring at her husband’s naked chicken neck. Until then, she hadn’t realized that he was naked as the day he was born. She should have, since that was how he’d climbed into bed last night, but…

“Dear Lord, Godfrey’s no’ the only one with a claymore,” Una muttered, bringing Merry abruptly to her feet to wrap the furs that had been covering her around her husband’s waist.

“Merry, stop that and cover yourself,” Alex snapped, trying to wrap the furs back around her even as she wrapped them around him. “You are not decent.”

“I may no’ be decent, but at least I’m in me chemise. Ye, on the other hand, are bare-arsed, husband,” Merry snapped back in case he’d missed that fact.

“My men will not care about me being naked,” he argued, pushing the furs back toward her.

“And I doona mind, either,” Una assured her, ogling Alex.

Merry scowled at her. “Well, I do. ’Sides, they willna care about me in me chemise.”

“They may not, but
I
do,” Alex growled back, and then gave up trying to cover her and merely scooped her up in the furs and headed for the wagon, saying firmly, “You shall have to borrow a gown from Una for the rest of the journey.”

Merry didn’t tell him then that she had gowns.
She was too busy scowling over his shoulder at Una. The maid had stood to follow, and her eyes were fixed firmly on Alex’s behind as she did. Judging by the expression on her face, she was enjoying the view, too. Merry thought it terribly rude and was not enjoying her enjoyment.

I
t was a hard ride for the next couple of days. With no tent to sleep in at night, they were forced to sleep around the fire with the rest of the men, and so Alex saw no reason to stop each day until well into the night.

It troubled him that this latest attempt on his life had nearly seen his wife killed, and that was another reason he rode them so hard to reach home. He knew he was driving them all to exhaustion and risked the wagon losing a wheel, but hoped that the exhaustion would be enough to keep whoever kept attacking him from doing so again and possibly succeeding this time, if not in killing him, then in kill
ing his wife. He would not lose Merry now when things were starting to look up between them.

By the last day, the pace he’d set had everyone grumpy, and so when the sun set when they were only four or five hours from d’Aumesbery, rather than call a halt and sleep one more night in the open before finishing the journey the next morning, Alex kept them going.

It was a relief to every one of the exhausted group when the torches on the towers of d’Aumesbery were spotted through the thinning woods. Alex glanced down to Merry to point out that they were nearly there, but she was sound asleep in his lap. Unlike the journey out, she had ridden on her own for most of the way back. However, when he’d caught her starting to nod off in the saddle an hour ago, he’d pulled her before him on his mount and ordered her to sleep. He suspected it was a sign of how exhausted she was that she had not argued or even troubled herself about her mare, but had merely curled up and dropped off to sleep at once.

“She is dead to the world, poor thing,” Gerhard said quietly from the side, and Alex glanced to where the man rode with Merry’s horse trailing his own. The first had taken the mare’s reins and attached them to his pommel to lead the beast when Alex had scooped Merry from her back.

“Aye,” Alex agreed, and then added, “But dead to the world is better than just plain dead.”

Gerhard nodded. “It has been hard the last few days, but ’tis better to reach d’Aumesbery quickly and avoid further possible problems on the trail.”

“That was my thought,” Alex agreed.

“I suspected as much,” Gerhard admitted, and then added wryly, “But you may wish to explain that to your wife when she awakes. I think she and her maid thought you had lost your mind, riding us as you have.”

Alex smiled wryly at the suggestion and nodded. They broke through the trees then and started up the sloping path to the castle gates.

The greeting here was much different from the one they’d received at Stewart. The men on the wall did not break out in smiles or wave and call out greetings as they let down the gate, and no one rushed across the bailey to crowd and meet them.

Alex told himself it was because it was the middle of the night, but knew even had they arrived during the day, they would not have been welcomed as they had been at Merry’s childhood home. He had been away for years and only recently returned to a troubled keep, only to turn around and leave again, and Merry herself was altogether new here. But he hoped that someday their people would be as pleased to see them return from a journey as the people of Stewart had been to see Merry.

It was a goal for him to work toward, Alex decided. He would gain the trust and love of his people so that his return was always welcomed.

Alex drew his mount to a halt at the keep stairs and eased out of the saddle still clutching her close, and Merry did no more than stir and mutter unhappily before dropping off back to sleep. Shaking his head at his wife’s ability to sleep through anything, he didn’t bother to give any orders or instructions to Gerhard and the men, but left them to it. Secure
in the knowledge that they would do whatever was necessary and tend to the wagon and horses before seeking their own beds, he carried Merry inside and moved quietly through the sleeping bodies in the great hall to reach the stairs. He met no one as he made his way up to their room. Once there, he settled Merry on the bed and then simply collapsed beside her, too exhausted even to think about undressing either of them. They would just have to sleep in their clothes this night, he thought as sleep washed over him.

Merry woke to find herself alone in the room she shared with Alex at d’Aumesbery. Her first reaction was relief that she was not lying stiff and sore on the cold hard ground but instead in her warm bed. Her second reaction was to wonder when they had arrived, where her husband was, and if he’d even joined her in the bed. The last thought brought a wave of depression over her, for while Merry had slept at Alex’s side every night since leaving Donnachaidh, that was all they had done. He had not touched her in any way that could be construed as sexual, or even kissed her since the night he’d been so aggressive and they’d realized he was being drugged.

It was all rather depressing to Merry, which was ironic when she considered that on her wedding night she hadn’t been at all impressed with Edda’s description of the bedding. At the time she had thought it would be a grand thing did he not bother her too often. Now she lay in that same bed and fretted because he was not bothering her with
it. Life did seem to like to have its little jokes, she thought wearily, and started to sit up, only to drop back down and pull the linens a little closer as the bedchamber door opened.

She held her breath, but then expelled it when Alex entered. He wore clean clothes, and his hair was damp, as if he’d bathed recently. He was also leading a parade of servants who were carrying a tub and several pails of water, some steaming, some not. Merry lay still as her husband oversaw the operation. Alex did not even glance her way that she noticed, so she was somewhat surprised when the servants finished and he moved to close the door behind them as they left, saying, “Are you going to lie there until I come fetch you? Or will you get up to enjoy your bath?”

Merry hesitated, and then sat up, surprised to find that she still wore the clothes she’d donned the last day of the journey. She hadn’t thought to look, but had just assumed she was naked, but now threw the linens aside and slid her slippered feet to the floor.

“I was too tired to undress either of us last night,” Alex announced as he moved back to the tub and bent to test the temperature. Apparently satisfied, he began to pour perfumed oil into it.

“What time was it when we arrived?” Merry asked, moving around the end of the bed to join him.

“I am not sure,” Alex admitted as he finished with his task and straightened. “Three in the morn, perhaps four.”

“Oh.” Merry’s gaze fixed on the tub of steaming water. It did look inviting. She hadn’t had a proper
bath in days. By the time they had stopped at night, she’d been too tired to be bothered, and while she’d managed a quick wash here and there on one or two occasions in the morning, they’d been hurried and not very satisfactory. The idea of a proper soak and scrub now was an attractive one and made her smile gratefully at her husband.

“Thank you,” she murmured, and then asked, “Did ye already have a bath yerself? I notice yer hair’s wet.”

Alex nodded as he set the oil aside and approached her. “I bathed in the kitchens to save the servants some work and keep from waking you.”

Merry raised her eyebrows, thinking that must have given the kitchen staff a thrill, and then scowled as she recalled Una’s ogling her naked husband after the fire, and imagined all the lovely little maids in the kitchen doing so.

“Behind a screen in the kitchens, so you can stop scowling,” Alex added with amusement as he came to a halt before her. “Come, let us get you into your bath.”

When he reached for her laces and began undoing them, she felt the blush of heat that rose up her cheeks and quickly brushed his hands away, muttering, “I can manage.”

But Alex was not a bee to be brushed away. He ignored her fluttering hands and continued with his efforts, not only undoing the laces in a trice, but then removing her gown and setting to work on her chemise as well. Merry was a clumsy mess as she tried to help, her mind taken up with wondering where this might lead, and hoping…

However, the wondering and hope were all for naught. The moment he had her stripped naked, Alex picked her up like a child and set her in the tub. He then turned away and headed for the door, murmuring, “Take as long as you like. There is nothing of import we need do today.”

Merry watched the door close behind her husband, disappointment claiming her. While she knew she needed a bath, she had hoped that he might aid her in the endeavor and then follow it up with some houghmagandy. But it seemed he had no interest in that with her now that he was no longer being drugged.

“’Tis enough to make me seek out what it was he was being dosed with and mix some up meself,” she muttered to herself, but could not even manage a smile at her own joke. The situation was too dire and miserable in her mind for that. He had taught her the pleasure of the marital bed and now was not interested in enjoying it with her. ’Twas a sad state to her mind and made her feel ugly and lacking in whatever it was that attracted a man. It made her feel unworthy, she supposed, and that was a feeling she’d had often over the years.

While she knew her mother had loved her, Merry had done so much to aid and comfort the woman that she had always wondered if that love was for herself or for what she’d done. And then there were her father and brothers. While they were showing caring now, they had not always done so despite all she had done to keep things running smoothly at Stewart…and in her young mind, she’d always felt that if they’d loved her, they would have fought off
the sick hold drink had on them and try to relieve some of her burden.

Now it appeared she was not satisfactory in her husband’s eyes, either, without the tonic to make her so.

The salty taste of tears on her lips brought Merry to the realization that she was weeping, and she was suddenly furious with herself. Why should her husband want her when she was such a puling, pathetic creature that she wept for no reason?

Gritting her teeth, she raised her knees and slid her bottom forward so that she could dunk her head under the water and remove the evidence of her weakness. When she came back up a moment later, Merry immediately concentrated on washing herself, trying to distract herself from the ache in her chest. She had managed to do so and was composed and nearly finished with her bath when the bedchamber door opened and Alex reentered with a tray in hand. Merry glanced with disinterest at the food and drink on the tray and then again slid under the water, this time to rinse away the soap she’d just finished lathering in her hair.

When she reemerged, it was to find that Alex had deposited the tray on the fur before the fire and now stood beside the bath, holding open a clean, dry linen.

“Come, you can sit by the fire and eat while your hair dries,” he said.

Merry hesitated at the thought of standing naked before him, but then reminded herself that he had seen every inch of her body ere this and forced herself to do so. Did he find her body so ugly and
unattractive, hiding it was hardly going to make a difference. She stood grimly and was relieved when he merely wrapped the linen around her and lifted her out of the bath.

Alex set her on her feet on the floor and quickly dried her down with the linen in a perfunctory manner before wrapping it around her once again and urging her to the fireside.

Merry noted the two glasses and the pile of food and glanced around to ask if he planned to join her, but paused when she saw that he’d moved back to the door. She thought he was about to leave, but then he opened the door and several servants bustled in to use the pails to empty most of the water from the tub before carrying the tub and the pails away. The whole operation took no more than moments, and Merry had barely sat and was only just surveying what he’d brought for them to eat when Alex closed the door behind the last body and then crossed the room to join her.

“It looks lovely. Thank ye,” Merry murmured, managing a smile as he joined her.

Alex nodded as he settled cross-legged opposite her on the fur, and then smiled wryly as he admitted, “’Tis probably too much, but I was hungry when I was choosing what to bring.”

Merry smiled faintly at the confession, but had no idea what to say so simply ate and pondered how she could be so uncomfortable with him after everything they had been through. She was more uncomfortable right that moment than she had been the day she’d met him, or even on their wedding night. But at that time she had not cared for the man so
much. Her own opinion of him had been so poor, she hadn’t worried what he thought of her. Now, however, loving him as she did—

Merry sucked in a breath as the thought started to flit through her mind, and nearly choked on the grape she’d just popped into her mouth. Loving him as she did?

Aye, Merry admitted. She’d fallen in love with the blasted man. He was caring and considerate, intelligent and amusing, and all the things she could have wanted in a husband. Well, but for the fact that he did not want her, she thought unhappily, and knew that this one thing was not just a wrinkle she could smooth away to enjoy happiness over the coming years. ’Twas a huge wolf in their bed that would rend her apart in time. ’Twould tear at her self-esteem and sense of worth, make her doubt that he cared for her at all, and leave her feeling alone and, once again, unworthy.

“Merry? What is it?” Alex asked suddenly, and the concern in his voice told her that her fears and unhappiness were showing.

“Nothing,” she assured him, her voice husky with unshed tears. “I merely choked on a grape.”

Merry then turned her face solemnly to the offering between them, but was aware that he was watching her, his eyes sharp and thoughtful.

She’d chosen an apple and was carefully paring the skin away with the knife that had been provided when he suddenly said, “Cullen said something to me as we were leaving Donnachaidh.”

“Oh?” Merry asked, concentrating on the task at hand.

“He suggested I may want to reassure you that I was attracted to you and that it was not the dosing I was receiving that brought me to your bed.”