Taming Lo: A You and I Novel (6 page)

I don't know how else to describe it. I don't feel. Not
where men are concerned. I don't get butterflies. I don't get excited
to see them. I don't think about them again after we hook up. But
that is not the case here. Dax has consumed my thoughts since the
moment I practically ran out of his hotel room Saturday night.

I keep telling myself that it's the physical attraction,
that it will pass. But the more I tell myself not to think about him,
the more I do. I knew I would see him, I just wasn't prepared for
tonight to be that night.

“
Hey.”
I hear Anna just as she appears through the doorway. “You
okay?” She asks, coming to a stop just to my left.

“
Yeah.
I'm good.” I say, flipping on the water as I begin washing my
hands.

“
Do
you want to tell me what's going on now or do you plan to continue to
treat me like an idiot?” She asks, cocking her head to the
side.

“
What?”
I blurt, shaking my head in her direction.

“
What
is up girl?” She asks, leaning over and shutting off my water.
“Seriously? You can tell me.”

“
He
just.... I don't know.” I say, letting out a loud exhale and
shaking my head as I reach for a paper towel to dry my hands with.

“
Oh.
My. God.” Her mouth drops open and she gapes at me. “You
like
him.”
A huge smile stretches across her entire face.

“
Shut
up.” I shake my head at her. “The sex was really good.
That's all.”

“
You
can lie to yourself all you want Lauren Hannock but I know you. And
you like him.” She smiles wider. “Admit it. That's why
you froze up when he showed up just now. That's why you ran in here.
Isn't it?”

“
Fine.
Okay.” I finally cave, knowing that if there is one person I
can talk to about this, it's Anna. “I feel
something
.
I don't know how to explain it, but Saturday night after we had sex,
he pulled me into his arms and this feeling just flooded through me.”

“
The
kind of feeling that just warms you all over and in some
unexplainable way, makes you feel..... safe?” She asks, waiting
until I nod my head before continuing. “I know exactly what you
mean. It's how I felt the first time Bentley wrapped his arms around
me and every time he has done so since then. I had a hard time
processing what it meant early on but eventually, I just accepted it
for what it was.”

“
Well
I panicked.” I shake my head. “I was dressed and
practically running out of his room in the matter of two minutes. And
now, I am so embarrassed by the way I behaved, I don't even know how
to talk to him.” I admit.

“
Lo.”
Anna reaches out and rests her hand on my forearm. “Sometimes
when things don't turn out as we expect, it's scary. But the fact
that you felt something for him, no matter how small, that's a big
step for you.” She says, not even realizing just how big of a
step it is.

Anna knows me well but she only knows who I am now. She
knows nothing of the girl I used to be. She doesn't know what
happened in my past. She can't possibly understand why letting myself
feel something for a man is the last thing I can do.

Dax is a player, that much is crystal clear. He's the
male version of me. He was supposed to be safe, but he isn't safe. I
just wish I had realized that earlier. I can't let my guard down with
him. I have to put this situation behind me. I can't let another man
in, especially not one like Dax.

“
I'm
just really attracted to him. It will pass.” I swipe my hand
through the air like it's no big deal. “Now come on. I'm
starving.” I say, letting my cool confidence slip back into
place.

Something about Dax's presence sends me all over the
place, but if I can just keep the mask up and my shield in place, I
should be able to fake my way through this evening without anyone
picking up on the fact that I am a bit out of sorts, especially Dax.

Anna gives me a sweet smile and nods, following me out
of the bathroom without another word. I know she sees through the
facade but she chooses not to push it for my sake. I have to remind
myself that just months ago, Anna was very much like me. Independent,
without commitment. And then out of no where, she met Bentley. A man
who consumed her. A man who changed her. A man who taught her how to
love.

I take a deep breath as we pass the floor to ceiling
aquariums that line the center of the restaurant, Dax coming into
view through the crystal water and fish swimming in the tank. I don't
expect him to be looking in my direction, so when his eyes catch mine
for a fraction of a second, I instinctively turn away.

Following Anna, we reclaim our seats at the table just
moments later. Bentley leans over and kisses Anna on the temple and
she immediately snuggles into his side. While they are extremely cute
together, they are also a bit nauseating if I'm being honest.

I look up to find Dax staring at me, a knowing smile
pulling up the corners of his handsome face. He knows exactly what I
was thinking. It's likely he was thinking the exact same thing. I
immediately relax, feeling the awkward weight that sat so heavily on
my shoulders just moments ago, lift slightly.

I turn my attention to the menu and don't look in his
direction again until the waiter has taken our orders. When I turn
back to him, he's staring again, the same playful smirk across his
face. I shake my head at him and roll my eyes which only seems to egg
him on more.

That's when I feel it. His foot skirt up my leg from
under the table. I jump the moment the contact is made and cough
lightly to try and cover up my sudden movement. “Wrong hole.”
I shake my head at Anna as I set my wine glass back on the table.
This only causes Dax's smile to grow wider.

Giving him a warning glare, I shake my head slowly back
and forth, silently telling him to stop. I can see the challenge in
his eyes but he doesn't attempt to do it again. Damn it, why does he
have to be so damn sexy?

Tonight he's dressed in dark jeans and a button down
white shirt with a stylish black button down vest over top of it. He
looks like he's on his way to a photo shoot for some clothing
designer ad. His sleeves are rolled to his elbows and I find myself
staring at his tattoos on many different occasions throughout the
night.

They
all bleed together into this beautiful artistic creation but I
struggle to figure out what each individual one is. There is
definitely a cross on his left forearm. And the initials
CTR
on
his wrist. I can't help but wonder what
CTR
stands
for.

After two hours of eating more food than any group of
people should consume in one sitting and drinking even more wine,
Bentley and Anna are the first to head out. Chelle and Malcolm go
next. Deciding I don't want to be the last one to leave, especially
given that Dax is still here, I excuse myself to the bathroom with
the intention of heading out as soon as I return. Unfortunately, by
the time I make it back to the table, Shira and Ethan are gone and
only a bright eyed, smiling Dax remains.

“
And
then there were two.” He smiles sheepishly, looking so boyishly
cute in this moment, I swoon a little, which is so not like me.
I blame the wine
.

“
It
would appear so.” I say, reclaiming my seat.

“
Can
I ask you something?” He asks, his playfulness falling away.
“Did I do something?” He leans forward to rest his elbows
on the table in front of him, his eyes not breaking away from mine.

“
What
do you mean?” I ask, confused by his question.

“
Saturday.
You left so quickly. I hope I didn't do anything to offend you.”
He says, seeming to really care.

“
Not
at all. I told you, I had some stuff to take care of.” I lie.

“
Okay.”
He nods his head but continues to study me with unsure eyes. “If
you're sure.”

“
I'm
sure.” I smile, letting the effects of the wine guide me
through the conversation without letting my real issue show through.
“And you were right by the way. I definitely felt you for
days.” I say, trying to ignore how his eyes go dark at my
words.

My stomach twists under his heated glare and I gather my
things as quickly as I can, knowing I need to leave... Now. I'm
playing a dangerous game and I know it. The sooner I get out of here,
the better.

“
It
was nice seeing you again Mr. Riley.” I stand, sliding my coat
over my shoulders.

I don't want to leave. I don't want this night to end
yet. I have enjoyed the flirtatious looks and funny faces that Dax
has thrown my way all night. I would even go as far to say that at
one point I was even a bit giddish. It's stomach turning, but
unfortunately very true. Something about this man just makes me feel,
I don't know.... Different.

“
The
pleasure was all mine.” Dax says seductively, standing from the
table as he puts his own coat on as well.

Dear
Lord,
please give
me the strength to resist this man
,
is all I can think as we make our way out of the restaurant. “Come
on, I'll drive you home.” He says, his hand falling to the
small of my back as he guides me out of the restaurant and into the
cold night air.

“
I'm
good thanks.” I say, stepping away from his touch. Even outside
in the extreme cold, his touch has a way of warming me and that's not
a good thing. At least not for me. “I live just a couple of
blocks from here.” I say. “I walked.”

“
Well
then, let me walk you home.” He says, his smile pulling up one
side of his mouth.

“
I'm
good... Really. It's not far.” I interject.

“
Lo.
Let me walk you home. I will make no pass at you. You have my word. I
just want to make sure you get home safe.” He says, his smile
spreading.

“
Fine.”
I sigh, not able to contain my own smile when his eyes light up in
victory. Damn wine. It makes me weak and much more susceptible to his
charms. At this rate, he will have me naked before we make it past
the first block. Here's hoping I can hold it together.

Chapter
Nine

Dax

The walk to Lo's apartment is a silent one and over much
too quickly. She is the first woman that I have actually enjoyed
being around without the possibility of sex afterward. She made her
rules clear and I intend to respect those rules, no matter how much I
don't want to.

“
Well, this is
me.” She stops at the front entrance of a ten story brick
apartment building and turns to face me.

“
You're kidding
me right?” I laugh, shaking my head at the irony of the
situation.

“
What?”
She seems immediately offended. “I realize it's not a mansion
but these are really nice apartments. Trust me, I pay the ridiculous
rent.”

“
It's not that.”
I laugh again. “I actually just signed a lease two days ago on
an apartment.... In this building.” I can't help but chuckle at
the way her eyes widen at my words.

“
You're
kidding?” She chokes.

“
Nope.” I
shake my head, not able to break the smile pulling up the corners of
my mouth. Fate is playing a very funny game. Though I must admit, the
idea of living in the same building as Lo excites me a little too
much.

“
Well, okay
then.” She takes a deep breath and lets it out, clearly not
sure what else to say. “When do you move in?”

“
Monday.”

“
So I guess we
will be co-workers and neighbors then.” She lets out a nervous
laugh and looks towards the ground.

“
Lo.” I
say gently, placing my hand under her chin and lifting her face up to
meet mine. “This doesn't need to be a thing. We knew the
stipulations. It's done. I don't see why we can't find a way to be
friends.” I say, cringing slightly at the relief that floods
her face.

I should want her to be relieved..... So why am I
suddenly wishing I had not even suggested the friends thing? Truth
is, I haven't gotten my fill of her yet. But again, she made where
she stands very clear. And I am not a man to push myself at a woman
or chase after one for that matter.