Taming Lo: A You and I Novel (12 page)

Five weeks and we have spent countless hours together,
as friends of course. Showing up to each others apartments late at
night with takeout has become somewhat of a tradition of ours. Living
just two floors below him makes it impossible not to just pop in on
him when I know he's home and clearly it's the same for him as well.

Whether it be me going to his place or him coming to
mine, we always seem to find a way to be around each other. And while
I still get the flutter in my stomach every time he smiles at me, I
have learned to embrace his charm and not let myself be freaked out
by it.

He is my friend. He has made it very clear that is all
he can offer and I have done the same. People like Dax and I aren't
built to be in relationships. But it's nice to have someone to talk
to. Someone to laugh and joke with. Someone who understands me
because in a lot of ways, he is like me.

“
So
you really have not slept with him a second time?” Anna hits me
with a look of disbelief when I meet her gaze in the reflection of
the bathroom mirror. Reaching for a paper towel, I quickly dry my
hands before turning to face her.

“
Is
it really that hard to believe?” I laugh, tossing the towel
into the trashcan to my right.

“
Are
you really surprised that I find it hard to believe?” She
counters my question with one of her own. She cocks her head to the
side and crosses her arms in front of herself. Her belly is getting
so big that when she does, her arms practically rest on her stomach.

“
I
guess not.” I answer, considering her statement for a moment.
“But things are different with Dax.” I shrug, turning
back around to adjust the bust of my sassy red cocktail dress.

It's tight and hugs me in all the right places. I have
been dying to wear it since I bought it two weeks ago, so when Anna
called and invited me out for dinner and drinks, I could not resist
slipping it on.

“
Is
that why you are wearing that?” She laughs from behind me,
causing me to spin back towards her.

“
What
is wrong with this?” I ask, pinning my eyes on her.

“
Don't
get me wrong, you look incredible.” She holds her hands up in
front of herself. “But don't think I haven't seen the way your
hips shimmy a little bit more when you walk by Dax. Or the way you
squeeze your arms together to really make your cleavage pop when you
lean forward to speak to him. You wore that for him.”

“
I
did no such thing.” I shake my head adamantly. “I wore it
for my potential hook up for the night.”

“
Did
you now?” She laughs and shakes her head. “Then why have
you talked to no one outside of our table tonight?” She quips,
narrowing her eyes at me.

“
Because
you invited me to have dinner and drinks with all of you. Kind of
rude to just bail mid-night to go chase a piece of ass.... What?”
I question when her eyes go wide.

“
Do
you hear yourself?” She laughs. “Since when have you ever
cared about anything of the sort? The Lo I know would have been
scouring the bar two hours ago and probably already left by now. Tell
me, have you slept with anyone since you two have been hanging out?”
She surprises me with her question.

“
That's
not true.” I argue even though I know she's right. “And
no I haven't, but that has nothing to do with Dax.” I try to
keep my defensiveness at bay.

“
Yes
it does and you know it.” She calls me out. “You may
think you have everyone else fooled. Hell, you may even have yourself
fooled. But I am not blind and I am not stupid. You want more from
him than friendship.” Her smile spreads when she sees the look
that crosses my face. “Oh God.” She covers her mouth with
her hand playfully. “You do, don't you?”

“
No
I don't.” I laugh, trying to play it off like it's nothing.
Truth is, I do like Dax. Of course I do. But that doesn't mean I want
anything between us. But it definitely means that I am not hiding it
near as well as I thought I was.

“
There
is nothing to be ashamed of Lo. You can tell me.” She steps
forward, taking my hands in hers. “You once pushed me to
explore my feelings for Bentley. You yelled at me when you thought I
was being stupid and you were there for me when I just needed to cry.
You are one of the reasons why I am where I am today. What kind of
friend would I be if I didn't encourage you to fight for what you
want, the way you did for me?”

“
A
good one.” I laugh nervously. “I don't need you to push
me. I don't need anything. Dax and I are friends. That's all he wants
and that's all I can give him. Can we just leave it at that?”

“
Fine.”
She turns, crossing the space towards the door. Pulling it open, she
waits until I walk out before following behind me. “But don't
think for one second that he doesn't feel exactly the same way about
you as you do him. Even if you deny it, even if he denies it, I see
the way you two look at each other. Friends, lovers, it doesn't
matter what you call yourselves. Everyone can see it, even if you two
can't.” She says under her breath, sliding into her seat next
to Bentley without giving me any opportunity to respond.

I need to know what she meant about the way Dax looks at
me. I need to know what it is that she sees that I apparently don't.
Her statement leaves my throat dry and causes a tight knot to form in
the pit of my stomach but that's not all I feel. Deep down, I can't
deny the giddy excitement that her words cause me as well.

“
Took
you long enough.” Dax gives me a lopsided grin when I slide
back down into my chair that is positioned between him and Anna.

“
Preggers
over here takes forever to pee.” I laugh, nudging Anna with my
shoulder.

“
I
can't help it. This baby is sitting right on my bladder. I swear,
every time he moves I have to pee.” She laughs, playing along
with my excuse that is not entirely untrue. “Add that onto the
fat ankles and backaches and I am just
awesome
.”
She says sarcastically.

“
You
do not have fat ankles.” Bentley laughs next to her, pulling
her into his side. “You have beautiful ankles.” He kisses
the tip of her nose.

“
Yeah
you better say that. Did I mention the mood swings?” She looks
back to me and laughs. “My poor husband will be lucky if I
don't stab him in his sleep before all of this is said and done.”

“
You
want to stab me in my sleep?” Bentley turns wide eyes on Anna
causing everyone at the table to burst out laughing.

“
I'm
joking honey.” She says sweetly, kissing the side of his mouth.
“No I'm not.” She leans in and whispers to me directly
after.

“
Have
you ever wanted to stab me in my sleep?” Ethan asks, turning
towards Shira.

“
Everyday
dear.” She smiles widely at him and laughs.

“
Women.”
He shakes his head, a toothy grin pulling up the corners of his
mouth.

Sitting back, I let my eyes travel the table, taking in
the multiple faces sitting around me, drinking wine or whatever else
they like, laughing and talking like they don't have a care in the
world. I don't know when I got bumped into this group. I mean, I have
been friends with Anna for quite sometime now, but it really wasn't
until more recently that I started getting invited to these group
outings and while I enjoy them, I must admit that it's a bit strange
that me and Dax are sort of paired as a couple in this group.

Anna has Bentley. Andrea has Collin. Shira has Ethan.
Chelle has Malcolm. But then I am like this ninth wheel that always
gets stuck together with Dax because he is the only other single
person. I can't say I really mind that much honestly. I kind of like
pretending that he is mine. That when we come out with our friends,
we do it together rather than individually. Though I would never
admit that to anyone else. As far as they are concerned, I am still
the same old Lo, and needing to group myself with a man to feel
included would never be my style.

“
You
ready to get out of here?” Dax leans over and whispers in my
ear, pulling me from listening to Bentley and Malcolm battle back and
forth over some sports team controversy. Honestly, I'm not even sure
I really know what exactly they are talking about.

“
Yes.”
I sigh, ready to get to my apartment and get these damn heels off.
Even though I have been sitting for the majority of the night, my
feet still feel like I have been standing for hours. I make a mental
note not to wear these shoes again anytime soon.

We quickly say our goodbyes to the group and exit the
bar and grill style restaurant just a few short minutes later. Dax
slings his arm over my shoulder and pulls me into his large frame,
sheltering me from the cold wind whipping around us.

“
I
cannot wait for Spring. Shouldn't be too much longer now.” I
get out through chattering teeth as Dax opens the door to his truck
and helps me inside.

“
I
don't know.” He smiles through the open door. “I kind of
like having an excuse to touch you.” He winks playfully and
then closes the door, reappearing on the drivers side just moments
later, his smile still firmly in place.

Chapter
Eighteen

Dax

Lo leans into me casually as the elevator climbs to the
fifth floor. I can't stop myself from trailing my hand lightly up and
down her back, though it's likely she can't feel it through the
materiel of her coat.

As much as I hate myself for it, I always want to be
near her, touching her. I know I shouldn't. I know I can't. But when
I am close to her, it's like some other person is in control and I am
simply a passenger inside of my own body; watching myself do things
and feel things that I know are wrong but not being able to stop it
just the same.

Lo jumps slightly when the elevator dings and the doors
slide open, clearly lost in her own thoughts. I laugh lightly and
follow her out into the hallway.

“
You know, you
don't have to walk me to my door every time?” She laughs,
turning on me the moment we reach her apartment.

“
I know. But it
gives me peace of mind knowing you got home safe.”

“
I knew it.”
She laughs, her beautiful smile stretching across her face. When she
smiles, it takes everything I have not to take her face in my hands
and pull her mouth to mine.

“
Knew what?”
I laugh, trying to pull myself out of it.

“
That there was
a sweet caring guy tucked in there somewhere.” She raises her
eyebrows at me and then laughs. “Relax.” She leans
forward, resting her hand on my chest. I can feel myself stiffen
beneath her touch but there is nothing I can do to hide the clear
effect she has on my body.

“
You're secret
is safe with me.” She winks, flipping her blonde waves over her
shoulder as she turns and sticks her key into the lock, pushing her
door open.

“
Thank you for
walking me to my door.” She turns back to me just as she steps
inside. “You want to come in for a few? I think I have a little
wine left over from last night.” She says, looking up at me
with a look that I can only describe as hopeful. For whatever reason,
it doesn't sit well with me.

I don't want her to
want
me
to come in. I don't want her to want anything from me. And as badly
as I want to say yes, I know I can't. Looking at her tight little
body in that fucking red dress for another minute is going to
dissolve the last amount of self control I am gripping so desperately
to.

“
I
shouldn't. I really should get some sleep. Early day tomorrow.”

“
Okay.
Well, I guess I will see you later then.” She says casually,
like it's no big deal. And while I know that she probably doesn't
care one way or another, I can't help but question whether I see a
hint of disappointment behind her eyes.

“
Goodnight
Lo.” I say, tensing when she pushes up on her tip toes and her
lips graze my cheek so lightly, I wonder if she even made contact.

“
Goodnight
Dax.” I feel her breath hot against my face before she pulls
away.