Tallow (13 page)

'That was almost two years ago,' continued Antonio. 'I thought a year would be enough, but I learnt differently. A year is but a second –' he snapped his fingers to emphasise his point '– in my field. I was so close, so close. But this Signor Gallame, he did not understand. He measures his life in coins; he does not appreciate that, for people such as me, these things are meaningless.'

Antonio's wife was silent throughout his explanation and I wondered if she agreed with her husband.

'Anyhow,' he sighed, pausing for a moment and adjusting his cloak. 'When the twelve months had passed and I had very little to show, Gallame demanded I repay him – without delay. I explained that I needed more time – that I didn't have the money – but he wouldn't listen. He demanded we sell our possessions. We did sell some, but he wasn't satisfied. Next he insisted that we sell
all
my equipment, some of which has been in my family for generations. At first, I did not agree, but then he sent some friends of his to convince me.' He indicated a wound that cut along the top of his head, close to the hairline, and I noticed that the flesh around one of his eyes was puffy and yellow. My heart went out to him.

'Still Gallame is not happy. He has seen us reduced to penury. He has taken everything I need to even try to re-establish myself and my reputation, but he wants more – always more.' Antonio bowed his head.

'Even though we have nothing but a few clothes and our old gondola, we are forced to sell our beautiful casa.' Lizzetta sighed. 'Our house. After that,' she shrugged, 'we do not know what we will do.'

Antonio shook his head. 'I fear that Lizzetta may have to throw herself on the mercy of a convent. I will go to a monastery. I believe that there are some orders that still allow the practice of alchemy.'

We had been walking so slowly, stopping every now and then as the story continued, that we hadn't come very far. Pity rose in me for these two foolish people, one at least of whom believed that gold was a product of human-induced changes, and who had lost everything because of that.

'Couldn't you make the explosives again?' I asked after a while.

Antonio looked at me, a bitter smile upon his face. 'While I may have lost my material possessions pursuing a dream, at least I have not lost my soul – not this time. No. I would not. I could never consider such a thing again.'

Lizzetta squeezed his arm.

We walked in silence for a short time, crossing the small campo, passing Vincenzo di Torello's taverna. A few people entered, allowing the warm air and light inside to briefly escape and enfold us. A soft snow had begun to fall, but I barely noticed as my mind set to work. If I could help Lucia achieve her heart's desire, why couldn't I help these two? Surely, it would be a matter of just using my abilities, extracting a bit here, distilling a bit there and ensuring the merchant was present when the candle was burnt.

Before I could change my mind, I acted.

'Listen to me,' I said, holding up my arms up in front of them, forcing them to stop. They both looked surprised – Lizzetta, a little alarmed. 'I think I can help you,' I said.

Antonio laughed. 'How can you help us, boy? Look at what we've been reduced to, telling our tale to a mere candlemaker's apprentice. You are young; you still have your dreams. Treat it as a cautionary tale. Do not see it as an opportunity for heroics.'

I was a little taken back by his tone, but I persisted. 'No, you don't understand. I really can help you.'

'What can you possibly do for us except what you have already? You have listened. We cannot expect more.'

'There is something I think I can do, but you can't ask any questions. You simply have to trust me. Can you do that?' I stared at them earnestly through my spectacles.

Lizzetta looked at her husband and shrugged. She gave a small laugh. 'Why not? What else is there for us to do?'

'Good,' I replied, looking over my shoulder, making sure no-one was watching. 'You must wait here for me.'

'Out in the snow?' said Antonio, waving his arms in a circle, catching the flakes as they fell.

I wanted to slap my forehead. What was I thinking? They would freeze. I reached into my coat pocket. Tucked in a corner was a lire – a present from Katina. Insurance, she called it. Well, I had no need of it, not now anyway, whereas Antonio and Lizzetta did. I placed it in Antonio's hand and remembering what Katina had told me about being more assertive, gave commands. 'Go to the taverna and buy yourself a meal and a drink. Meet me by the well in two hours.' I pointed towards where it stood in the middle of the campo.

Before they could argue, I disappeared into the night.

As soon as I was out of their sight, I raced back home, flinging off my coat and hat and taking the stairs two at a time.

'Sorry I'm late,' I said as I barged through the door and fell into my seat at the table. Quinn and Pillar sat in silence, empty bowls before them. 'Where's Katina?' I asked, slurping the bowl of broth in front of me. It had cooled considerably but was still very tasty. Quinn just frowned at me in disgust and pushed her chair back.

'Her ladyship has taken herself off to bed. Like you, she doesn't think my fare good enough for her delicate stomach any more.'

I saw Pillar flinch at his mother's caustic words. 'That's not the way it is, Mamma, and you know it. Katina's not well,' he said. He shook his head slightly, discouraging me from asking questions.

Quinn shot him a poisonous look and took her empty plate to the basin, throwing it in the water. 'You're always defending that woman, Pillar. I tell you that some things, like ingratitude, are indefensible!'

'Katina is grateful for your food, Mamma. We all are.'

Overcoming my surprise that Pillar had dared to contradict his mother, I simply nodded agreement and finished my soup. My eyes drifted towards the curtained area where Katina's bed lay. Ever since she'd arrived at the house, she'd taken Pillar's bed. He stayed up in the attic with me. It wasn't just in name and clothing we maintained my gender pretence. Even our sleeping arrangements gave nothing away.

Katina must have been feeling very ill to turn down food. She'd always had an extraordinary appetite. Still, Katina's absence meant that I had only Pillar and Quinn to persuade. How I was not only going to justify returning to the workshop, but also create a candle that would overturn Antonio and Lizzetta's misfortune? I ate slowly, mulling over my dilemma. Quinn was sitting by the fire. She pulled her tin on to her lap and began counting the day's earnings. An idea started to flower. Summoning up the courage, I laid the foundations of my deception.

'Pillar,' I began cautiously. 'You know those people I directed to the campo ...'

'Nice people.' Pillar was definitely distracted. He never even saw them.

'Well, they were quite well off. Came to our shop from the Alchemists Quartiere, can you believe it? Said our fine reputation brought them all this way. Anyhow, they've commissioned us to make them a whole batch of candles – beeswax, too.'

'Is that right?' Pillar was watching his mother distractedly.

'Yes. And, because these candles are extra, you know, on top of the back orders we already have to fill, I thought I might get started on them now, tonight, as soon as I've finished eating. That is, if it's all right with you.' I held my breath.

'What?' said Pillar, suddenly snapping to attention.

My heart sank.

'What commission?'

'Oh, for a batch of candles – a dozen beeswax, to be precise.' My cheeks started to reflect the magnitude of my lie. I prayed he wouldn't notice.

'Beeswax?' repeated Quinn, forever alert when money was at stake. She dropped the coins she was counting in her lap.

'Yes,' I said slowly. I turned to face her.

'And they came
here?
From the Alchemists Quartiere?'

'That's right,' I replied eagerly. My idea was coming together nicely. 'I thought I might get started on their candles tonight so they don't interfere with our other orders.'

Pillar shook his head. 'No, Tallow. You work too hard as it is. Katina and I have been doing a lot of talking lately –' His mother shot him a sour look. Pillar cleared his throat. 'She's made it very clear to me how important it is that we take care of you – make sure you don't overwork yourself. These candles can wait. Anyhow, you have to rise early. All being well, you and Katina are going to the markets, or have you forgotten?' He seemed not to care whether I had or not. His eyes drifted to the curtained-off corner where Katina slept and he frowned.

'No, I hadn't.' While I was looking forward to going to the markets that took place each week in the piazzetta between the Candlemakers and Chandlers Quartieri, Pillar's response made me despondent – and a little desperate. I'd asked Antonio and Lizzetta to wait for me – I had to get my hands on some candles tonight!

'If the boy wants to work, let him!' said Quinn suddenly.

I couldn't believe it. Support when I least expected it, and from a usually antagonistic quarter.

'But Mamma –'

'No buts. Seems our reputation's spreading nicely. Let it spread even further. Tallow's young and full of energy. Let him work.' She ran her fingers through the coins.

Pillar shrugged. 'All right, then ... if that's what you think should happen.' Once again, his eyes drifted to where Katina slept and then back to his mother.

'It's all right, Pillar,' I said, 'I don't need you to supervise me. I'm all right on my own. Can I make a start?'

It was then I did something that I'd never done before, at least never with such intention.

While I knew I wasn't to use my talents on humans, at least not until Katina had taught me how, I was confident that my touch was light enough that I could at least try. After all, I only wanted a tiny bit, a fraction of the sadness and division emanating from Pillar's every pore. I reached out and gently touched his hand, which was splayed on the table. I drew from Pillar, anxious to see if he noticed anything.

He didn't flinch or speak. Preoccupied, he just stared blankly ahead. After a moment, he simply moved his hand out of my reach.

Suppressing my excitement, I rose to my feet and took my plate to the basin, washing it quickly and placing it back in the cupboard. I took a deep breath. I knew what I wanted to do next, but my courage began to desert me. Then I thought of Antonio and Lizzetta. They needed me to be brave. So I moved towards the stairs making sure that as I left the room, I brushed Quinn's shoulder. 'Thank you,' I said, letting my fingers rest momentarily on the coarse wool of her shawl, extracting from her as she counted her coins. If she knew what I'd just done, I would be beaten within an inch of my life – Katina or no Katina.

Full of exultation, more than a little pride and other emotions that I didn't dare unravel, I crept down the stairs. I knew what I wanted to do was a gamble. But something told me it was also the right thing. I was ready to start making my own decisions. Use my candlemaking and other abilities to help those I wanted to – and not just for money.

I don't know where I'd come up with the story about an order of beeswax candles and I knew, as I entered the workshop, that I'd be in a great deal of trouble when they discovered the order didn't actually exist. But I would worry about that later. For now, my falsehood had succeeded in giving me time on my own. All I needed now was to find a perfectly good tallow candle and, while they still resided in my heart and mind, distil the essences of Quinn's avarice and Pillar's empathy for Katina and anxiety about his mother.

I RETURNED TO THE HOUSE
some time after midnight, filled with the same glow of satisfaction I'd experienced that morning when I heard the results of my first attempt to help people.

Antonio and Lizzetta had been waiting for me as asked. Antonio unwrapped the candle and then burst into hysterical laughter. 'A candle! What can this possibly do, boy? Look, Lizzetta, the boy asks us to put our miserable lives on hold, and what for? A candle!' He laughed so hard he cried. 'For a moment there, I was stupid enough to believe in you.' He composed himself, wiped his eyes and sighed. 'May God love and protect you, boy. A candle!'

I hadn't thought about how ridiculous it would look. I shifted uncomfortably in the snow. 'I know it doesn't seem like much, but I'm sure some people would doubt the efficacy of your powders and potions, too,' I said.

Antonio paused and looked at me intently. 'That's true.'

'Well, candlemaking is an art that also has its secrets. Ones I cannot share. Please, from one craftsman to another, do as I ask. Invite the merchant to your house and, while he's there, make sure to burn the candle. It can't make things any worse, can it?'

They didn't say a word.

I didn't escort them back to their gondola. Instead, I watched them depart the campo, the falling snow soon obscuring them from view.

IT WAS A SLEEPLESS NIGHT
for Tallow. Before dawn, she rose and stole onto the rooftop. Chasing away her nocturnal demons, she watched as dawn infused the Dolomites, drinking in the pleasures of the changing sky with its soft blush tones. She tried to absorb the atmosphere around her, a precursor to the candlemaking she knew awaited: doves cooing in their nests before winging their way towards the last stubborn stars clinging to the dawn, the faint strains of gondoliers singing as they hauled their cargo along the canals, the chanting of the padres at morning prayers. Turning slightly, she gazed in the direction of the campo, the telltale steeple of the basilica rising above any other building. Today she would have the leisure of strolling among the markets there and, if Katina allowed, bartering with the vendors as well.

Once the sun had begun to spread its thin fingers across Serenissima, Tallow headed downstairs to wake Katina. Approaching the curtain cautiously, she called softly. 'Hey, sleepyhead, get up. We're going to the markets today!'

There was no reply.

'Katina, are you all right?' said Tallow. With a feeling of foreboding, she gently parted the curtain. The Bond Rider lay on her back, arms by her side, legs together. Except for the rapid rise and fall of her chest, she didn't move.

Taking a cautious step towards the bed, Tallow noticed that Katina's breathing was loud and shallow.

'Katina. What is it? What's wrong?' Unable to see her mentor clearly, she flung open the casement window. Turning back towards Katina, she froze.

Lying in the bed was an old woman.

'Wh– what – who?' began Tallow, her voice betraying her rising panic.

The old woman raised a trembling hand. 'T– Tallow. It's me.'

Tallow bent over and peered at her closely.

Her jaw dropped. 'Katina,' whispered Tallow. 'It is you. But how is this possible? Your face!'

Tallow knelt beside the bed. Katina tried to raise her wizened hands, but she couldn't even lift them off the quilt. She gave a few moist coughs before settling into a harsh wheeze.

Tallow rose to her feet. 'I have to wake Pillar, get the dottore –'

'No!' The word was quiet but firm. Tallow looked down and saw that Katina held her wrist. She could have pulled away, but the urgency in Katina's tone prevented her.

'Please. Get me m– my satchel.'

Tallow ran into the kitchen and grabbed Katina's satchel. She tipped the contents onto the bed, revealing a copper-coloured flask. Katina gave a whimper. Tallow uncorked the flask and raised it to Katina's mouth. Much of the ruby liquid spilt over her nightgown, but some found its way between her lips.

It took Katina a couple of minutes to regain her voice, but when she did, she spoke quickly, as if afraid she wouldn't last long enough to finish what she had to say.

'Tallow, you have to help me. Remember I said that a Bond Rider can't be away from the Limen too long?'

Tallow nodded. She didn't trust herself to speak.

She lifted her hand feebly and indicated her body. 'This is why.' A volley of coughs wracked her frame. Tallow watched in despair.

'You see, Tallow, time catches up with all Bond Riders eventually. We who defy it and think we've defeated it have just postponed the inevitable. If I don't return to the Limen now, I will die.' She lifted a preternaturally aged hand and stroked Tallow's cheek. 'And I cannot do that yet. My Bond is not complete. There is still work for you ... for me to do.'

Tears streamed down Tallow's cheeks. 'What can
I
do?'

'You must take me to the nearest pledge stone. Someone will come for me.'

'Pledge stone?' Tallow knew of the ancient stones upon which Bond Riders made their promises. They both repelled and fascinated her.

'Yes,' whispered Katina. 'A pledge stone. Take me, please.'

It was as if someone had tied a great weight to Tallow's heart. 'C– Can I not do something? Use my powers to ...?'

Katina shook her head, her eyes widening. 'No, Tallow. You're not far enough in your training to lay hands on a human yet – not for this.' Tallow bowed her head, afraid that somehow Katina would know what she had done, detect her underhandedness from the night before.

'Don't think it didn't occur to me,' continued Katina with a half-smile. 'But I think if I let you, you would kill me. That can't happen. Not because of me, but because of you. Listen to me, Tallow.' Katina raised herself on one arm, swallowing a few times at the effort and beckoning Tallow closer. 'Estrattore must never touch a human with the intention to hurt or kill. Do you understand?' She coughed again and fell back against the pillow. Tallow could hear the liquid bubbling in her chest. 'Will you take me, Tallow?'

Tallow nodded. She didn't have a clue where the ancient stones might be, but she didn't dare argue.

'When?' she asked quietly.

'Now. Before the others awake.'

'How?'

'How what?' asked a voice. Pillar's sleep-wracked face appeared. Relief washed over Tallow.

'Pillar!' she exclaimed. 'Look at Katina.'

When Pillar saw Katina's condition, he leapt forward. 'By God! You said this would happen. Why? Why did you leave it so long?' He folded Katina's fingers into one of his hands and pressed the fingers of the other against her forehead.

'She needs to get to a pledge stone.'

Pillar frowned. 'I know where there's one. It's on the other side of the Circolo Canal, on the mainland opposite the Cheese Quartiere. We can get there in less than an hour.' He let go of Katina and began to gather her belongings, randomly throwing them in her satchel. 'Tallow, go and hail a traghetto, quickly. Don't bother with the fermata. There's a set of disused water stairs just outside old Romano's shop. Make it stop there.'

Tallow hesitated. Unchecked tears streamed down her cheeks. She didn't want to leave Katina's side for even a second.

'What are you waiting for? Go! I'll attend to her and meet you there.'

Tallow turned on her heel and raced down the steps and through the shop, flinging open the door. She ran to Signor Romano's candle shop and, sure enough, there was a set of water-stairs, just as Pillar had said.

She looked up and down the canal, wiping her eyes with the back of her sleeve. Even though she'd left her coat behind, she didn't notice the crispness of the morning, the snow lying on the pavement or the mist rising off the water. She was too focused on willing a boat to appear. She didn't have to wait long before one of the big old traghettos emerged out of the mist. Waving her hands to attract attention, Tallow began to shout.

At first the captain, sitting in the stern, ignored her. He'd left the Wood Quartiere before dawn and, after delivering a couple of journeymen and a merchant to the Tanners Quartiere, was keen to get to the main part of the canal where he could make real money. That annoying boy could shout all he wanted; he wasn't going to waste his time picking up a tardy apprentice. But when Tallow's cries became more desperate and a tall man appeared with a frail old woman in his arms, he reluctantly steered the boat towards the stairs.

'Thank you,' said Tallow breathlessly as she jumped aboard, relieved to see there were no other passengers. She turned to help Pillar, who passed her Katina's satchel and her small leather scabbard. Pillar gently lifted Katina over the railing and placed her on a seat before leaping over himself and scooping her back into his arms. Tallow noticed he'd changed her out of her nightgown and put on her leggings, shirt and coat. There was no disguising what she was now.

The captain's eyes widened, but he said nothing. The oarsmen began to rise to their feet.

'Did I tell you to stand? Sit back down. I don't pay you to gawp,' he shouted. He spun to face Pillar. His eyes flickered over Katina. 'Where do you want to go?'

'The Pledge Stone of Casa di Maggiore.'

The captain's eyebrows rose. 'Don't be a fool! No-one dares to go there. I'd lose my licence.'

Pillar didn't say anything. He reached into his pocket and flicked a ducat towards the captain.

The captain caught it neatly and looked from the coin to Pillar and back again. 'You want to go there badly, don't you?'

'It's not for me,' was all Pillar said.

The captain glanced at Katina and grunted. He bit down on the ducat. 'Very well, but you'll bear the consequences if we're caught.' He began giving orders to his oarsmen.

Pillar took Katina through the stuffy little cabin to the bow, laying her on one of the benches that followed the shape of the boat, resting her head in his lap. Tallow was surprised. She'd never seen Pillar so attentive or tender before. She sat on the other side of Katina, not knowing what to do or what to say. Once again, sadness overwhelmed her. She knew Katina was leaving them. She tried not to be selfish, but she couldn't help but wonder what would happen to her training; what would happen to her?

Don't leave me, Katina,
she pleaded soundlessly, afraid she would never see her mentor again.

Just then, the captain appeared and flung a blanket at Pillar and an oilskin coat at Tallow. 'You'll need them,' was all he said and disappeared.

First helping Pillar cover Katina, Tallow gratefully put on the oilskin.

The journey didn't take long. There wasn't too much traffic on the Circolo Canal at this time of morning. Rowing into the sun, it was difficult to see where they were going, but Tallow tried, anything to keep her mind off Katina and her suffering. Why wouldn't the Bond Rider let her use her talents? Surely she could have helped her in some way – ease her pain; make it so she didn't have to go.

Along the right bank, houses and shops met her watery gaze. There were even some grand casas lining the canal, rising from their stone bases to form elegant marble cliffs that glinted and shone in the morning light. Servants were beating rugs out of windows, their noses and cheeks glowing red, their breath as they called to each other curling into opaque shapes that gradually dissolved. Beside the fondamenta, vendors glided past, their gondolas laden with meat, fruit, wood and other goods. The distant mainland was dotted with farmhouses, vineyards, olive groves and vast meadows, which rose into the foothills of the snow-covered ranges of the Dolomites. Cows and herds of longhaired sheep grazed peacefully, unaffected by the frost that coated the grass and their backs. As they drew closer to the other side, Tallow saw a big jetty on the waterfront where workers from the Fishmongers Quartiere jostled for space in their boats. Their voices carried over the water as they argued best prices with the mainland farmers or traded meat and dairy for their ocean fare.

Pillar looked neither left nor right but attended to Katina, holding her close every time a cough wracked her body, gently wiping the spittle that formed in the corners of her mouth. Tallow watched them out of the corner of her eye, uncertain and confused about Pillar's attentions to the Bond Rider.

After a while, the captain reappeared.

'We'll be there shortly. I suspect you'll want us to wait?'

Pillar nodded. 'Yes, please.'

The captain grunted and stuck a pipe in his mouth before disappearing into the cabin.

'Tallow,' Katina whispered hoarsely.

Tallow jumped to her feet and knelt beside Katina's head. 'I'm here, Katina.'

'Tallow, I'm so sorry.'

'What for?' All the self-composure Tallow had worked hard to gain over the last twenty minutes began to disappear.

'For leaving you. I thought –' She struggled for air. It was a while before she could speak again, 'I thought I'd have longer.
We'd
have longer.'

'But you'll –'

'Shush.' Katina placed her finger against Tallow's lips. 'Now is not the time for you to speak, but to listen.' She paused, her breath coming in great shallow gasps. 'Do not use your talents any more than you've been taught, Tallow. Not yet. You're not ready. That means no human subjects.'

'But I –'

'No.' The word was strong. 'Pillar and I have discussed this. If something should go wrong ... no. You mustn't. I will return to you, Tallow, and then we will continue with your training. I'll teach you what else you need to know. You must be ready for what you have to do.'

Relief flooded Tallow as knowledge that Katina would return began to sink in. Tears brimmed in her eyes. 'You're coming back.' It was not a question.

'Of course I am ... as soon as I can. But until then, you practise what you've learnt so far. Do not be tempted to take it further.
Please.
Swear to me you won't. You can't risk discovery. Not now, not when we are so close.'

Tallow gulped, swallowing her sadness. 'I swear,' she said quickly.

Katina tried to sigh but it turned into a liquid cough. 'And, whatever you do, Tallow.' She caught her breath. 'Do not touch a pledge stone. None of them. Not yet. Promise me this. Not like before. This time, as if you were a Bond Rider making a pledge.' Katina stared at her with such intensity, Tallow almost recoiled.
'Promise!'

'Yes. Yes, I do,' said Tallow hastily.

Satisfied, Katina dropped her hand, the volley of coughs that convulsed her preventing Tallow from questioning her further. What did Katina mean? Why did she make her promise like a Bond Rider? Why would she want to touch a pledge stone anyway? And what did Katina mean when she said Tallow had to be ready for what she had to do?

They were thrown forward as the traghetto hit the embankment. In the last five minutes, a dense mist had descended, obscuring the view. The captain poked his head out of the cabin. 'I'll wait thirty minutes – not a moment more.'

Pillar wasted no time. Gathering Katina in his arms, he stooped through the cabin and marched across the plank connecting land to boat.

'Thirty minutes,' the captain repeated as they passed him.

'I'll make it worth your while,' replied Pillar firmly.

Tallow stepped ashore and looked around. Above the mist, the peaks of the Dolomites loomed. It was quiet on this part of the mainland. There were no farms or any other sign of inhabitants. Trees divested of their summer foliage grew right down to the water, their roots plunging into the murky depths. This was a wood devoid of birdsong and the rustle of small animals. There was nothing to distract them from their task. All around, grey tendrils of fog weaved their way through the trees, drifting upon a blanket of air. Gazing back across the canal, Tallow could see little more than a white band of mist. No wonder the captain had agreed to take them. It would be hard for anyone on the other bank to see them from this point.