Talking to Dragons (11 page)

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Authors: Patricia C. Wrede

BOOK: Talking to Dragons
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“It's going to be a bit difficult for me to save you if you hang about my neck like that,” the knight said apologetically. “It's quite awkward. If you'll just sit down, I can see about doing this properly.”

The Princess only hung on to him more tightly, which made his aim almost as bad as it had been when he was wearing his helmet crooked. The dragon was watching them closely, and its eyes were starting to glow. “You certainly aren't very polite,” it said.

“My love is the soul of courtesy!” the Princess said from behind the knight. “For he is a knight most gentle and well spoken, much given to—”

“I say, Isabelle, must you go on like that?” the knight said. “It's embarrassing. Do, please, sit down and let me fight the dragon. Then you won't have to worry about being eaten, you know.”

The Princess gave a small scream. “Alas!” she said in a quavery voice. “Behold my sad state! For now must I watch a bloody battle, and perhaps see my love slain before my eyes, and become a captive of this monster.”

“This is ridiculous,” said Shiara, and before I could stop her she marched over to stand between the dragon and the knight. I followed her, hoping I could get her out of trouble if I had to.

“Ah, save me!” the Princess said as we got closer. I wasn't sure whether she wanted to be saved from the dragon or from Shiara.

Shiara glared at her. “You shut up,” she told the Princess. “You've caused enough trouble already.”

“I say,” said the knight. “If we're going to discuss politeness—”

“We aren't,” said Shiara. “We're going to discuss battles. Battles between dragons and knights. Why do you want to fight this dragon?”

“Knights are sworn to do battle with the beasts that ravage the fields, carry off innocent maidens, and generally make a nuisance of themselves,” the knight said. He sounded as if he were reciting something, and he didn't look very pleased about the idea, but the Princess nodded approvingly.

“Well, this dragon isn't ravaging anything, and it doesn't even want your stupid princess,” Shiara said.

“I do, too!” the dragon broke in. “If I'm not going to carry her off I could eat her, after all. And if I fought a knight no one could say I'm not a proper dragon, even if I don't have a princess.”

“I really don't think that's a good idea,” I said. “Princesses aren't all that common, after all.”

“Besides, you promised me you wouldn't,” Shiara said.

“I did not!” the dragon said. “I only said I wouldn't waste a perfectly good princess, and this one's not so great. Eating her wouldn't be much of a waste.”

“I don't think that would be very polite,” I said. “Especially when you've talked to her this long without bringing it up. You really ought to ease into these things gradually, you know.”

“Are you sure?” the dragon said.

I nodded.

“Oh, all right,” said the dragon. “I won't eat her, then. But couldn't I fight the knight anyway? Just for practice?”

“I say, that sounds like an excellent idea,” the knight said, brightening perceptibly. “A sort of exercise for both of us.”

“A tourney!” the Princess cried. “Oh, brave and clever, to think of such a thing!”

The knight looked pleased. So did the dragon. It nodded, then whispered to Shiara, “What's a tourney?”

“It's like a battle, only no one gets hurt. Usually.”

“Not even a little?” the dragon said. The knight started looking worried again.

“Of course not!” Shiara said to the dragon. “It's a show of skill.”

“If you were trying to hurt each other, it wouldn't be a tourney,” I added. Actually, it wasn't going to be a tourney anyway. There are very specific rules about what a tourney is, and a practice fight between a dragon and a knight just doesn't qualify. I decided not to say so.

“Oh, all right, then,” the dragon grumbled. “I don't know why I'm letting you talk me into this. How do we start?”

9
In Which There Is a Fight, Sort of, and They Find Out Where They Are Going

T
HE HARDEST PART
was getting the dragon and the knight to agree about rules. The Princess was no help at all. She kept talking about the marvelous tourneys she'd seen, and which knights had been wounded. Whenever she did, the dragon would start looking at the knight, and pretty soon it would want to know why it couldn't bite off one of the knight's arms, or at least a hand. The knight would get worried, and the Princess would start crying, and Shiara and I would have to talk the dragon out of it. As soon as the dragon agreed, the Princess would cheer up and start talking about tourneys again.

Finally, Shiara told the Princess to shut up. It wasn't very polite, but it worked. Well, sort of. The Princess didn't stop talking, but as long as she was complaining about Shiara and not talking about tourneys we didn't have any more problems getting the dragon and the knight to agree.

When we finally decided on the rules, we had to draw a circle in the middle of the clearing for them to fight in. It was harder than it sounds. For one thing, a circle has to be pretty big if a dragon is going to fit inside it, even if it's a small dragon. Also, the moss in the Enchanted Forest grows awfully fast. By the time we finished drawing the circle, the first half of it had already disappeared. Shiara watched for a minute, then looked at the knight.

“Are you sure you
have
to have a circle to fight?” Shiara said.

“I really do think so,” the knight said apologetically. “It wouldn't be a proper tourney without it, don't you see.”

“I'm sick of proper dragons and proper princesses and proper tourneys,” Shiara said under her breath. Fortunately, the dragon didn't hear her.

We started redrawing the circle, trying to make the line wider this time. The knight scratched at the moss with his sword. Shiara used a stick. So did I; I didn't think Mother would approve if I used the Sword of the Sleeping King to cut moss. Nightwitch and the dragon sort of dug at the ground. The Princess sat under a tree.

Eventually we finished, and the knight and the dragon stepped inside the circle. “Well, what are you waiting for?” Shiara demanded.

“Someone has to say, ‘go,'” the knight said in a reasonable tone.

“Go!” I said quickly.

Shiara gave me a disgusted look, but she didn't say anything, because as soon as I shouted, the dragon and the knight got started. They were fairly evenly matched. The dragon was much larger, of course, and it had a very good sense of timing, but it didn't have much experience. The knight was wearing armor, which helped, and he was obviously used to fighting, but he was a little awkward most of the time. They were both good at dodging, though, and they each managed to take three or four swings without hitting the other. The dragon was just starting to take another swipe at the knight when a little tree sprouted up in front of him and hit him in the nose.

I was surprised. I mean, even in the Enchanted Forest, trees don't usually grow that fast. The dragon was even more surprised than I was. It sort of reared back, and its tail came around very fast to balance it. Nightwitch was a little too close and had to scramble back out of the way.

“Hey, watch out!” Shiara said.

The dragon jumped and swung around, looking as if it expected another tree to pop up behind it. Its tail swung in the other direction, and the end of it caught the knight right in the middle of his chest plate as he was trying to back out of the way. The dragon yelped, the Princess screamed, and the knight fell over backward into the pool of water that my sword had made when the Princess had tried to take it.

Evidently the pool was a lot deeper than it looked, because the knight sank right out of sight. We all forgot about the fast-growing tree and leapt forward. The Princess was faster than either Shiara or I. By the time I got to the pool, she had hold of the knight. She wasn't quite strong enough to pull him out, but she wasn't letting go, either.

Shiara got to the pool about the same time I did, and together the three of us managed to get the knight out of the water. He was unconscious, and he had a large dent in his armor where the dragon's tail had hit him. The Princess checked to make sure he was still alive, and then she burst into tears.

“Alas! See now how sad is my fate! For my love has been grievously injured and I am without protection in this awful place. Ah, woe is me!”

“Is he dead?” asked the dragon from right behind me. I jumped. It peered curiously over my shoulder at the knight.

“Monster!” said the Princess. “Your base attempt to slay my love has failed! No second chance shall you have to harm him while I can stand between you! For if my love be slain, I care not whether I live or die, and thus I now defy you.” She threw herself across the knight's chest.

The knight coughed, moaned, and opened his eyes. “I say, Isabelle,” he said weakly, “that really is a bit uncomfortable.”

The Princess sat up and started weeping all over his face. It didn't seem to make him much more comfortable.

The dragon was still peering. “That was a very good fight,” it said to the knight. “Except for the last part. My tail still stings. I think I may have sprained it. Is armor always that hard?”

The knight tried to answer and started coughing instead. The Princess cried harder, until Shiara said pointedly, “I don't think all that water is doing him much good.” The Princess stopped crying and glared at Shiara for a minute, then turned back to the knight. Somehow, she looked a lot more unhappy now that she wasn't crying. I felt sorry for her.

Finally the knight managed to get his coughing under control. He looked up at the dragon and said, “I do believe I agree with you about the fight. That trick with the tail is quite good. I don't recall seeing it before. I really must remember it.”

“Actually, it was something of an accident,” the dragon said modestly. “But I think I could do it again if I tried. Did you really think it was good?”

“Oh, quite,” the knight said. I got the feeling that he would have tried to bow if he hadn't been lying on his back. “I think perhaps you broke one or two of my ribs.”

“I'm sorry,” said the dragon. “Is that bad?”

“It is certainly a bit uncomfortable,” the knight said. “I don't really blame—”

A coughing spasm interrupted him. The Princess looked alarmed, but she didn't start crying. I saw Shiara watching the Princess with a surprised look on her face, and right about then Nightwitch sprang up onto the knight's chest.

“What is this? Go hence, and leave my love in peace!” cried the Princess.

“You let my kitten alone,” Shiara warned.

The Princess stopped in midreach and looked over at Shiara. “And shall I neglect aught that may bring comfort to my love in his hurt?” she said.

“Nightwitch isn't going to hurt—” Shiara started, then paused. “I guess it doesn't matter. Go ahead.”

I stared at Shiara in surprise, but she was watching the Princess and Nightwitch. The Princess got scratched a couple of times before she finally managed to pick the kitten up and move her. By then, the knight wasn't coughing quite so hard anymore, but he still didn't seem up to talking. Shiara frowned at him. “You don't sound very good,” she said.

The dragon stuck its head farther over my shoulder. “If you can't fix him, can I eat him?” it asked hopefully.

Nightwitch hissed. The knight looked alarmed and tried to say something, but all that came out was more coughing. The Princess said, “No!” loudly and looked as if she wanted to throw herself on top of the knight again.

“Of course not,” Shiara said. “You promised.”

“It wouldn't be polite,” I added. “After all, that was why you had the tourney.”

The dragon looked hurt. “I was just
asking.

“Ah, what are we going to do about them?” I asked hastily, waving at the Princess and the knight. “They can't stay here, not when the knight's been injured like that.”

“It's not so bad, really it isn't,” the knight said, looking at the dragon nervously. He started coughing again right away, but it didn't sound as bad as it had before and he stopped fairly quickly.

“I suppose you could come with us,” I said after a minute.

“That's frightfully kind of you,” the knight said. He looked uncertainly at the dragon. “Very kind, to invite us to come with you.
All
of you?”

“I don't know,” I said. “I haven't asked the dragon about its plans yet. But you're quite welcome to join us, if you want to.”

“Yes,” said Shiara. “I'm sure you'll be very useful when the wizard comes back.”

“Wizard?” said the knight. He was so alarmed he almost started coughing again. “What wizard?”

“Well, actually, there are several of them,” I said. “Every now and then one of them shows up and tries to do something to us. The last one left when the dragon showed up.”

“I'm sure he'll be back in a little while,” Shiara said. “Or one of the others will. They've been chasing us all over the Enchanted Forest.”

“You know,” the knight said, “I really don't believe it would be a good idea for me to join you. I should almost certainly be a bit of an inconvenience, you see. Wet armor rusts, and with that and the ribs I'm afraid I'd be a little slow. Thank you terribly, all the same.”

“If you don't come with us, what will you do?” I asked.

“Mrow,” said Nightwitch.

“Morwen!” Shiara said. “They can go to Morwen! She'll know what to do for them.” Nightwitch started purring loudly, sort of like a pepper grinder with rocks in it.

I thought about it for a minute. “It sounds like a good idea, but will she want to?”

“Morwen seems to like helping people,” Shiara said. “And I'm sure she can take care of both of them.”

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