Talk of the Village (10 page)

'There's a possibility I might get a chance to sit on the Question Time panel Sheila.'

'Honestly? Why didn't you tell me straight away? Oh

.

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Ron that really is something. Question Time, well I never. Could I sit in the audience?'

'It's not quite the thing to do that. In any case I wouldn't want you there.'

'Would I make you nervous?'

'No, embarrassed.'

'Embarrassed? That's nice.'

'I mean it. You spend ridiculous money on clothes and somehow you never quite make it. That leopard skin coat will have to go for a start.'

'My leopard skin?'

'Don't keep repeating what I say.'

'I don't keep repeating what you say.'

'You do, you've just done it again. Anyway, that coat'll have to go. And when you go into Culworth to the hairdresser's you can get your hair made back to what it ought to be.'

'It cost a lot to get it like this.'

'It's not worth it, believe me. If I'm going to move in Question Time circles you've got to move with me. Hair done like when you were serving in The Case is Altered is not right now. We've moved up from then.'

'I do try.'

'No, you don't, you've stayed stuck like a gramophone needle. I bet Sadie Beauchamp spends no more money on clothes and hair than you do but she looks like a lady.'

'If I don't look like her and she looks like a lady, what do I look like then?'

'What you always looked like, a barmaid.'

'A barmaid?" Sheila's feelings were hurt in a way she couldn't remember ever before. This then was the thanks she got for trying. She stood up, scattering her sandwiches over the coffee table, 'This will cost you and not half Ron, not half. You wait and see.'

'Yes I will. You're Lady Bissett now, not Sheila with

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her brassy hair, twinkling away to get the punters to buy more drink. When I get back tomorrow night from Birmingham we'll lay some plans.'

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As Harriet dashed across to the Church to help water the arrangements the flower society had worked on the day before, she noticed Ralph's Mercedes parked in front of his and Muriel's house. Oh good they're back. And in time for the Festival too. How nice to see them again.

She got there and found Sylvia had arrived first.

'Good morning, Sylvia. You're early.'

'Well, I decided to get absolutely in front of myself this morning, because Dr Harris and the rector and I want to spend time here today and of course the rector is giving the recital too, so we're sharing the work load so that we can all enjoy the festival in turns.'

'It's a lovely day. Let's hope it brings the crowds and we make lots of money.'

'Let's hope so.' They went from arrangement to arrangement feeling the oasis and deciding how much water, if any, the holders needed. The church looked quite the best it had ever done. Willie Biggs had worked marvels with spotlights and floodlights emphasising the flowers in all the right places.

'There's more to Willie than meets the eye isn't there Sylvia? Who'd have thought he would have had the sensitivity to know how to show the flowers and the murals and tombs to such good effect?'

'Yes, there is more to him than one thinks. He

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certainly has an ear for music.'

'Oh how's that?'

'Well, to tell the truth we went to see
The Mikado
together in Culworth last week and he can sing some of the songs really well. If he wasn't the verger, he should be in the choir.'

'I didn't know you and he were . . .'

'Well, we are just good friends that's all.'

'Just like they used to say in the papers! Have you any water left in that jug? This arrangement under the pulpit needs a drop more.'

'Yes, here you are. I don't need to ask you not to say anything do I?'

'I shall be as silent as the grave, Sylvia.'

'Thank you, Mrs Charter-Plackett. He'd be so embarrassed if he thought everyone knew.'

'You won't keep it a secret for long as he well knows. Nothing can go on in this village without everyone knowing. Although come to think of it there have been a few well kept secrets in the past.'

Sheila chose the morning of the Flower Festival to launch her new image. Ron had been with her to Culworth to help choose her outfit. After a lot of wrangling on Sheila's part, he had persuaded her to buy a very expensive suit which he declared would come in useful for all sorts of occasions. It was a soft olive green and Ron had chosen a delicate cream blouse to wear with it. The collar of the blouse flowed over the neck of the collarless jacket. The most astounding difference was her hair. It had been made a soft mousey colour with slight blonde highlights and cut quite short but flatteringly around her face. Instead of her usual strappy stilettos she had chosen a pair of medium heeled dark chestnut shoes with a small matching handbag. Ron had surreptiously been making mental notes of the way Sadie Beauchamp made up her

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face and had supervised Sheila's make up, having slyly hidden her rouge and the bright blue eye shadow she normally affected.

She purposely arrived in the church hall a little late pretending to be checking whether or not her flower arrangements needed more water. Several early visitors to the Festival didn't recognise her. 'Why Lady Bissett, we didn't see you there.' They would have bitten their tongues out before they could be friendly. They hadn't quite forgiven her yet for pointing out that young Alexander was so like the Rector. After all some things were best left unsaid. Out of the corner of her eye Sheila saw Sadie Beauchamp arrive for her morning coffee. This she knew was the great test. Sheila went to buy her third coffee that morning quite coincidentally at the same time as Sadie.

'Why hello, it's Sheila. I hope you don't mind me making a comment but, I must say, you look absolutely charming. And your hair too!'

'Thank you.'

'Where did you buy your suit?'

'Fisk's.'

'They have some lovely things in there. You've made a good choice.'

Ron watched the exchange from across the Hall and felt well satisfied with his campaign.

The church hall had a continuous queue of customers for refreshments. Harriet had to go back to the Store three times for more milk and bread and cakes, and also for another ham to carve for the rolls and sandwiches. The flowers in the church hall were not all white as Sheila had insisted upon. They were mainly white but here and there she had placed pale yellow flowers to give warmth and they were pronounced a great success. To her delight several customers said they'd put an extra fifty pence in the cash box as a fee for viewing her flowers.

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There was such a steady stream of visitors to see the flowers in the church that Willie was in attendance all day keeping a watchful eye on anyone who might be a threat to the arrangements. Sylvia's friend, who'd been in charge of the church arrangements, blushed with delight when Peter complimented her on the effective way her society had picked up the colours of the stained glass windows and the murals.

'Wonderful, truly wonderful and we do appreciate you standing in at such short notice,' Peter said, whereupon Sylvia's friend blushed again to the roots of her hair and had to retire to the church hall for a cup of tea while she recovered. The organ recital, given by Mrs Peel and Peter, filled the church and most satisfactory of all, it was full again when the school choir did their performance prior to the church closing at seven.

Ralph and Muriel, having travelled through the night from the airport, didn't put in an appearance until the school choir was performing. Willie Biggs, adjusting some lights so they shone on the children while they sang, was the first to notice their arrival.

He whispered, 'Welcome home Sir Ralph, Lady Templeton.'

Muriel whispered back that he had no need to stand on ceremony, they were still Ralph and Muriel as before.

Harriet, standing at the back, gazing full of love and motherly pride on Fergus, Finlay and Flick singing on the front row of the choir, felt a slight nudge at her elbow. When she saw Muriel she broke into a delighted smile and whispered, 'See you afterwards.'

When the church was finally closed for the night Harriet suggested that Ralph and Muriel, Peter and Caroline should come over to her house about eight thirty when she'd had a chance to get the children to bed and they could all catch up on Ralph and Muriel's news.

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Caroline arranged with Sylvia to babysit for a while. 'I shall be glad to, my feet are nearly killing me. Would it be all right if I asked Willie in for a bite to eat? It'll be his first chance of a meal all day. I thought afterwards we'd watch TV.'

'Of course, that will be fine. I've got the twins to sleep so they shouldn't be any trouble. Go and ask him to come in. Peter and I are nearly ready to go. Don't forget to switch the baby alarm on in case the twins cry, will you?'

'I'll do that. I won't be a moment asking him.'

Caroline grinned at Peter. 'As fast as we get one romance sorted out there's another one to be tactful about.'

'I don't think anything will come of it, do you really?'

'Come here, your shirt is out at the back. Why not? One should grab happiness while one can. There's too little of it in this world.' Peter turned round and linked his hands around Caroline's waist.

'Except here in this house. I thought I was completely happy before, but I had no idea what happiness was till now.'

'Thank you for saying that. I know I gave you a hard time when I found out about Suzy; I honestly believed the end of my world had come. That was until I recognised how much I needed you.'

'I love you my darling. Give me a kiss.'

'Peter, we mustn't start kissing. Sylvia will be back with Willie, and we've got to go.'

'Have we? Well, yes, I expect we have. Just one then. Did you notice Sheila Bissett today? I hardly recognised her.'

'Bought her outfit in Fisk's in Culworth.'

'How do you know?'

'I asked her when I complimented her on how charming she looked. Ron grew about two feet taller.'

'Shall I check Beth and Alex?'

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'Yes please. You played beautifully today, Peter.'

'Thank you, my darling girl.'

Willie was installed in the kitchen with Sylvia cooking an omelette on the Aga when they got downstairs.

'We shall only be about an hour, Sylvia.'

'Be as long as you like Dr Harris. Willie and I are going to watch TV so we shan't notice the time. We'll listen for Beth and Alex.'

'Good night Willie.'

'Good night sir.'

Sadie was already there when they arrived at Harriet and Jimbo's.

'Good evening you two, escaped for a while from your family cares?"

'Good evening Sadie. No, we've escaped from playing gooseberry.'

'Playing gooseberry?'

Caroline winked at Sadie and put her finger to her lips.

'Not able to disclose.'

'Oh I see. It's Sylvia is it?'

Harriet pushed a drink into her mother's hand. 'Hush, mother, you're getting into a real village gossip. Don't pry.'

'My dear Harriet, what else is there to talk about but the goings on in the village? I swear I could write a column every week for the local rag on the comings and goings in this village. "Village Voice", I'd call it and I wouldn't be short of items for it either. A couple of evenings in The Royal Oak and I'd have enough material for three columns in no . .

'You never go in The Royal Oak.'

'I could always start. Do you suppose the Culworth Gazette would pay me for it?'

'Don't say you need the money,' Harriet retorted.

Peter laughed. 'Compose your first column Sadie,

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right here and now.'

'OK here we go. Item one. Venetia and Jeremy Mayer are opening their new health club in two weeks' time. The local rector is performing the opening ceremony by being the first to dive in the pool. He has been chosen because of his superb athletic figure, Venetia Mayer told your reporter. Local people are expected to gather in their hundreds to witness their trendy rector performing this duty.'

'Oh no he's not,' Peter declared amidst a lot of laughter.

'Item Two. What is this we hear? Villagers are no longer friendly caring people as in the past. Two local residents lay ill for three days before anyone realised. Their lives were saved by the prompt action of the verger. Village life is not what it was in days of yore.

Item Three. What has prompted the said verger to spruce up his house, put a bathroom in and a new kitchen and buy new clothes? Is there romance in the air we ask?

Item Four. A local aristocrat has abandoned her unbelievably tasteless clothes and become quite civilised. The hairdresser in Culworth has thrown away her last bottles of peroxide. Her best customer has gone mousey.'

'Mother, that is cruel.'

Caroline agreed. 'Very cruel Sadie. She has made a real effort.'

'Yes, you're right, it was cruel. She is trying, I have to admit.'

Peter suggested that Sheila was quite nice once she'd dropped her pretence of being landed gentry.

The door bell rang and Jimbo went to answer it, to find Muriel and Ralph at the door bearing gifts.

'Come in, delighted to see you both. Have you had a good trip?'

'Absolutely wonderful Jimbo. But we're so glad to be

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back. We couldn't wait another night. Ralph drove us straight here from the airport.'

'Hello, everyone.'

Muriel stood in the doorway looking tanned and radiant. Sadie went towards them crying, 'Why, Muriel you look ten years younger, what have you been doing?'

Harriet blushed, 'Mother really, what a thing to say to someone just back from their honeymoon.' Muriel took the innuendo in her stride. Her arms were full of presents.

'We've brought presents for everyone. This boomerang is for Fergus, this is a fearsome Aborigine carving for Finlay, and these carved wooden beads are for Flick. Harriet this is for you. It's a wrap for you to put on when you come out of your pool. Jimbo, we've bought you a beach shirt from Bondi Beach. Here are some toys for the twins, Caroline. I nearly got them some clothes but I wasn't sure of the size, babies grow so quickly. The huge parcel Ralph is carrying is a sheepskin rug for you Peter and for you Caroline. I do hope you like it. Sadie this is a silk scarf for you. I hope I've made a good choice, you're always so clever with your clothes. I do hope you all like them.'

'Muriel spent most of the honeymoon choosing those presents. To say nothing of all the things she's bought for the house and for me.'

'Ralph, I did no such thing.' They all smiled at Muriel's indignation.

'Let's all have drinks while we open our parcels.'

When they'd opened their presents and caught up with some of the news from Australia and Turnham Malpas, Harriet suggested they went into the kitchen and collected whatever they liked from the left overs of the Flower Festival catering. And if Jimbo opened some wine they could sit down and talk some more.