Tales Of A RATT (27 page)

The guys in Def Leppard were just mesmerized. They were saying they had never been out on a boat like that. They had been on ships, and out in a lake, but never out on an ocean in a mid-sized vessel like that. Small vessel, really. Especially in comparison to that schooner.

It was great. We kept motoring along, partying. Such a completely awesome ride. I remember that Steve Clark had this beard. I was looking at him, and for some reason, he looked like a leprechaun to me. My friend Jeff Ferris was there, and I'm like, "Check out Clarky, man. He looks like a fucking leprechaun!” So, we were calling him the "Def Leprechaun" the whole trip.

There's more about that beard here in a minute. But, we were about half way through the trip, just cruising and drinking beer when I ran across a school of dolphin. It had to have been 70 dolphin, they were just everywhere!

I knew from previous trips that if you just motor right into them at a slow speed (they won't let you hit them or anything), they like to surf the bow of the boat. They move like lightning through that water, too. So, by driving the way I was driving, it creates a big wake at the front of the boat, and the dolphins go to town on it.

I've done this many, many times. I'd be out there with family or guests, and tell them to get out on the bow of the boat, and then I'd create a big wave with the wake. If you lay yourself out and hold on to the rail, it's totally safe, you can reach down and pet the dolphin as they surf the wake at the bow of the boat. Now, while I’m resisting the urge to make a joke about the guys in Leppard “petting their dolphin” on my boat….I ACTUALLY had the guys in Leppard on Ramboat, petting the dolphin! It was great!

That stretch of water is one of my most favorite places on Earth. I've seen sharks, flying fish, all sorts of stuff. I've got a great flying fish story with Matthias Jabs of the Scorpions that I'll get into here in a minute.

So, we get to Avalon Harbor. I like to take people to Catalina and show them around, so I try to plan the whole trip out. They've got these golf carts that you can rent, and then drive all over the hills exploring the island. The Wrigley House, the Wrigley Mansion is on Catalina. The Wrigley chewing gum family owned Catalina Island, but they lose ownership in 2010. I'm not sure what happens to it. I think the state takes it over, or something.

So, we get into the harbor, and moor the boat, then call on the radio and get the shore boat to come over. A little taxi boat comes over and takes you into shore. Now, we really look like a Mötley crew, no pun intended with Tommy, but we all have hair down to there, and look like ... well, Pi-RATTs, to be honest. Let's just say that when we walk by, fathers hide their daughters. That's just the way it is.

Heads were really turning, as we walked onto the dock. Especially, when you have Mötley, RATT and Leppard, three of the most visible bands of the day, walking by you. We were garnering some attention.

We get to the place where you rent the carts, a place where I've rented these things a hundred times, and there's a little old lady working the counter. She looks up, takes one good look at us, and you can see the immediate concern on her face. I'm like, "We need to rent three, maybe four carts.”

She looks me up and down, and goes, "I don't think so.”

That sort of catches me off guard. "What do you mean you don't thinks so?”

She goes, "I just don't think we can make those available to you gentlemen. Damage could happen.”

I start to understand, and, it kinda pisses me off. "What are you talking about? I've rented here forever. No damage is going to happen.” And we start going back and forth.

She was older, so I don't want to get verbally brutal with her, but it was turning into a class-act bullshit moment. I'm like, "Listen, ma'am…”

All of a sudden, this guy who worked there walks up behind her. He looks at me, then at Tommy and the guys at Leppard, then back at me, just like she did, sizing us all up. But, where she was seeing "Lowlife, lowlife, dead beat, scumbag", he was seeing "Mötley Crüe, Def Leppard, RATT ... Holy shit!”

He literally takes her by the shoulder and gently pushes her to the side. He's all, "What can I get you?”

"Well, we need carts, bro.”

"That's not a problem, sir.”

We cruised around that place all damned day. You can drive back up into the island, and there's a big bird sanctuary out there. Then you go up to the top of the hill, and you overlook all of Avalon Bay. They've got a big casino building out on the point, where in the 1940's, jazz bands like Benny Goodman, and Glen Miller, all those kind of guys would play gigs out there all the time. The "who's who of Hollywood" would go vacation out there and watch big band shit.

There's a really nice, 9-hole golf course up there. And everywhere you turn, there's a view that just takes you out, you know? You're literally stunned into silence with what you can see from the tops of Catalina Island. The guys were amazed by that place. It was a really good day.

Ultimately, we wind up back dropping the carts off. Once you drop them, you sashay down about a block and a half, and there's a cool little Mexican restaurant, Saldana's Taco Shop, which is called Coyote Joe's now days. You can drop in and eat and drink and look out on your boat moored in the ocean. I used to love that shit! I was so proud of that boat, you know? I never thought of having shit like that when I was younger. Its just amazing feeling.

Saldana's was the land of the giant Margarita. You'd get this giant sized glass of Margarita and stick 8 or 9 straws in the thing. There's a full bottle of tequila in these fucking things, so we're just having a great time. Not getting completely hammered, but just partying and enjoying ourselves.

We get back out onto the boat and start back to the mainland.

There's this thing that happens every afternoon called "afternoon wind chop" between the channel from Catalina back to the mainland. While we went out there with smooth, glassy waters, the trip back was different. The wind had really kicked up in the channel, and there were huge swells.

Those poor guys. When we first hit it, you could be looking back to Catalina, and the waters were pretty calm. But, when you looked back toward the mainland, it was like "Victory At Sea" on the A&E channel. Ten foot swells, and whitecaps! I've been through it before. It's not fun to drive. Intimidating as hell! But, we're heading home at this point. We were going out that night, and it was already 5:00. Generally, afternoon wind chop happens from 3:00 - 6:00, and then it starts dying down. I've made the trip back at night on that shit! But, as long as you keep your compass heading, you're good. Of course, now there's G.P.S. everywhere. Your watch can take you to Catalina!

So, I'm driving these huge swells, and there's a way you have to handle these things. You want to take the front side of the swell, and then try to come down as smoothly as possible on the other side. But, these were 10' - 12' swells, so going up the thing, we were seeing the sky off the front of the bow. No water, no land, nothing but clouds. It was probably a 30-degree rise, at least. Then we come crashing back down on the other side with your ass grabbing onto the seat, and your balls trying to find a place to hide!

Phil Collen was sitting next to me at the helm. He's having a good time! He's got two beers in his hand, and he's having a ball. He's trusting me. Steve is sprawled out on the bench at the back of the deck with his arms spread out on the seat back. But Tommy ... Tommy's struggling.

He is standing right behind me. The seat at the helm was a bench, and it would comfortably seat three people. And along the backside of it, there was a long, polished metal bar that you could hold onto for stability. Tommy has a white-knuckle grip on that rail, chewing the fuck out of his hair!

I'm looking at him, and my poor bro looks like he's about to shit kittens. I mouth the words, "Dude, we're going to be alright.” You could tell he didn't believe a word I said, because his face never changed.

It was, "Dude, are we going to fucking make it?” He was like that the whole way back to the slip.

Now, there is genuine concern to be had in moments like that. If we had engine trouble, we would have been on the horn to the Coast Guard quick! I don't think those waves would have been enough to flip the boat, but who knows? At the same time, it's pretty thrilling to be in a boat, and climb up the face of a 10' swell, then come down the backside into a 15' drop, or so. It'll make your blood pump, I promise.

In the back, Steve was on a bench facing forward, watching us at the helm. And, it was such that every time we touched down on the backside of a swell, the water would splash back into his face. He had seafoam just drooling off this ridiculous leprechaun beard of his! It was the funniest looking thing. The Def Leprechaun beard was white with the shit.

Steve's catch phrase for the day was, "Is it working?” And, he would say it every 10 minutes with his thick English accent. Absolutely hysterical! We kept making fun of it, and shit.

At one point, he had to take a piss. So, he went downstairs. The trip back was beating the shit out of us, so we were just kind of idling; taking a break. But, the boat was still rocking back and forth pretty seriously.

When Steve came out of the bathroom, the boat took a big lurch to one side, and he reached out for my table that was mounted to the floor, and ripped the goddamned post clean out, mounting and all.

I was at the helm and heard this huge crack of breaking wood.

"Oh, fuck. What is this?” So, I'm like, "Steve! You alright down there?”

Steve's goes, "It's working!”

I'm like, "Oh, my god. No good can come of that.” It was a fantastic day.

So, we finally made it back to the slip in Redondo, and everyone was quite ecstatic to be putting their feet on to solid ground. In fact, Tommy got down on his knees and kissed it!

One time, Tommy and I took the boat to the Long Beach Arena. This was back in 1988, I think, because Heather was off shooting "Return of the Swamp Thing".

In Long Beach, there was a restaurant with a dock right there, and I use to do this kind of thing a lot. I told Tommy, "AC/DC is playing Long Beach. Let's take my boat down there. We'll dock right there at the restaurant, eat and have a few drinks, then go across the parkway to the Arena.” The arena was literally right across the street.

Tommy's goes, "Dude, isn't that a freeway?”

"No, it's just a parkway. It's where they do the Long Beach Grand Prix every year. Fucking AC/DC is playing! We'll just walk over to the backstage and be like "hey, we're here! It's Blotz and T-Bone!”

So, Tommy, my friend Larry Wilson, and my black lab, Gemstone all piled into the boat with me, and off we went. Larry would first mate with me all the time, because you always needed two people, at least, to run a boat that big.

Gem stayed on the boat, when we got there, and we went in and grabbed some food and drink. Then we go to the gig.

We walk up to the backstage, and security is standing there. They've got this list, and I'm like, "We're not on the list, bro. But, anybody in here will okay us coming in. I'm Bobby Blotzer, I play drums for RATT. This is Tommy Lee from Mötley Crüe.”

You know how these security guys are. They get right up on you pretty quick. Especially since we just bolted across the freeway and were right there at the gate. Right in his face. So, he's like, "Hold on one second.” And, just as soon as he turned around, someone from their crew recognized us. They had worked tours with both RATT and Motley.

We get backstage and check out AC/DC. It was a great show. We're hanging out with the guys, and they are just tripping over the whole thing. They kept asking us about the boat trip down.

Everybody was like, "What's this I hear? You two came down on your boat? At night?”

I'm like, "Sure! It's no thing. We just drive out about two miles and hug the coastline all the way down. Maybe twenty miles. I know right where it is. I can visually see it. There's no rocks. I'm out far enough I know where the buoys are. Piece of cake.”

"Oh. That's fucking insane!”

We finish up with them and start to leave. Everyone is envious. They're all going, "Fuck, I wish I was on that boat with you guys tonight.”

We head back. I've got my huge cell phone with me. My new cell phone, since that ass clown stole the other one! We've been partying all day long, feeling great, and Tommy decides to call Heather. "Hey, babe! I'm on the Blotz's boat! We're heading back from seeing AC/DC!”

She's like, "What? Put Bobby on!”

So I'm talking to her, and she's a little worked up. "Bobby, what's going on? What are you two doing?”

"It's cool, Heather. I come out at night all the time. It's completely safe.”

She starts laughing her ass off. She was down in Georgia at the time, shooting that movie.

We made it back, no problem. I don't remember what we did afterwards. I think we went back to my home studio where I had my drums set up, and we jammed the rest of the night.

That's probably what we did.

I remember another time, also in 1988. It was when the Monsters of Rock tour was on with Van Halen, Scorpions, Dokken, Metallica, and Kingdom Come on the bill. I got a call from Matthias Jabs of the Scorpions.

"Hey, Bobby, I want to take you up on the offer of the boat. I heard you took the Leppard guys out!”

All the bands we ran with knew about Ramboat, and the invitation was just more of an excuse to go play on it.

Gregg Giuffria from the House of Lords also had a boat. So we would take them out together. He kept his boat in Marina Del Rey, I had mine in Redondo. But we would meet off of Redondo, keeping in touch on the phone or the radio.

We'd use the radio a lot, just to make it more fun. "Okay, people, sync up on channel 12. Okay, bro. Where you at?”

Then, we'd dual ride, side by side to where ever we were going. It's a total rush to do that. To look over at your boy's boat while you're both hauling ass through the ocean. Just tearing up the water. It's one of the best feelings you can have. Making a huge wake behind you.

It's like skiing. I love to ski, when you get that giant rooster tail coming up behind you, or if you're snow skiing, it's the fresh powder. Awesome. Great feeling.