Tales from the Tower, Volume 2 (27 page)

When we went back into the lounge room for dinner Shane was there. He said here they both are how are you Tyler babe? All the cans of beer he has brought are stacked in the fridge when I get out the cheese for the spaghetti. He is in a mean mood I can tell because even though he is smiling his mouth is wrong.

He picks one of Mum's dolls out of the box and looks at it and says you've got to be fucken kidding me.

People pay $40 for these, says my mum without looking at him and he laughs and says jeez they saw you coming didn't they. She just keeps sewing the hair on one of her dolls and says you wait.

When I go to bed I hear him and Mum laughing and bumping into the walls as they come down the hall and my mum sounds happy but it makes the stones feeling come back to my stomach. I must have fallen asleep because I feel a hand on my shoulder shaking me and I come awake and my stomach is squeezing so suddenly like when you're sick. It is Ellie and I feel her hair brush my face as she leans over me and says get up and come and sleep in my room. I say why and she whispers just come on.

In her bed she lets me have the purple heart-shaped pillow. She shows me a little smooth stone in a box she puts under the pillow and I ask her what it's for and she says bad dreams.

I didn't know Ellie has bad dreams too. Sometimes I dream of a wolf. He's coming for me and his eyes are on fire and he's looking everywhere for me but he can't find me. I don't tell Ellie about this but I say sometimes I feel like I have a stone inside my stomach. Ellie doesn't say anything for a while then she says hey what are those pencils called that you like? I tell her Derwents and she says we'll get those, you wait.

Today we did mammals. Mrs Carlyle said she got a puppy once that was homesick leaving its mother and it cried. She said she wrapped up an old clock inside an old fur collar she had and tucked it into the puppy's basket with a hot-water bottle. The puppy thought the clock ticking was its mother's heart beating and the fur was her warm furry coat next to it. It seemed like a mean trick but Mrs Carlyle said soon the puppy went to sleep and learned to sleep by itself after that. She said it seems cruel but all animals have to learn that and some leave their parents the day they are born, but not mammals because they have to drink milk. That puppy used to like to sleep in the laundry basket full of dirty clothes. When the bell rang she said whoops we forgot to do our worksheets, all I've ended up doing is telling you stories because you are such good listeners.

That puppy thought the clock and the fur and the hot-water bottle was his mum. And maybe the clothes in the clothes basket had a smell that made him feel better. The Plushie dolls are supposed to make you feel warm-hearted too, so maybe people will buy them to cuddle like a puppy. Birds like budgies can't be cuddled but they must still know you love them. Ellie says we used to have a cat when Dylan and Zac were still here before I was born but it ran away. Ellie says, I don't blame it.

My mum is still sewing the Plushies. She says she has a deadline and she has to prove she can do it so she'll be accepted on the job-creation program. She said if Shane thinks he's so shit-hot why doesn't he fix her car and do something useful? Shane is nearly living at our place now and she said if he thinks all he has to do is turn up with pizzas and five weekly DVDs he's got another think coming. But then when he comes she goes quickly into her room and comes out with perfume on.

While she is in there Shane beckons at me and when I go over he leans down close to me and whispers I've got something for you, but don't tell the others, hold out your hand. He gives me a Mars Bar. His voice is so different when he is telling a secret. It is all soft and like you're best friends and I want to believe everything he tells me. He says don't tell Ellie because she will get jealous. Next time I might put it under your pillow, so always check when you go to bed OK? In case I've left a surprise for you. Then when Mum walks back in again he says sshh, here she comes and I can't help it, I smile. I hide the Mars Bar in my bag.

Ellie did a magic thing tonight. Mum had the five Plushies she had finished laid out on the table and she was painting their lips red like in the photo and Ellie said do you want a cup of tea? Mum was just sitting there not saying anything and I realised she had stopped painting and was scratching at her hair like it was itchy just scratching and pulling, not answering. Shane was in the living room watching TV and Mum was just sitting there with her chin tucked down all hunched and sad with the dolls lined up. Her hand scratching harder and harder in her hair. I felt like when I turn the key in my music box until it's really tight and if you kept turning one more time it would snap and break, just one more twist. But Ellie came over very quietly and looked down at the monster dolls that were meant to make you feel warm-hearted. They all had big black eyes that just stared and I could tell Mum was thinking they looked creepy or dead and it's true, they did.

Ellie put a brush in the white paint and put a little dot of white in the dolls' eyes. I don't know how she did it but it changed everything. It was like a little speck of shine. I heard Mum sigh then her hand came down and felt around for her cigarettes. I felt loose again like remembering that inside the music box the ballerina is waiting to dance to the whole song and it will just get slower and calmer all the way to the end.

Just before when I was going to bed Mum said let's have a secret you don't have to go to school tomorrow Tyler, I will ring up and tell them you are sick and you can stay here and help me finish the Plushies. It is the same as when Shane leans down and whispers, grown-ups can make their voices go all soft and excited like it's a big special secret to share just with you, they know just how to make kids feel happy but it's never what you think.

I felt the stones in my stomach because I remembered that tomorrow is the first orientation day for year sixes to go over to the senior campus to visit but I just said yes. Mum still has five dolls to make and she said she will show me how to do the blanket stitch.

I woke up in the night and I saw someone was standing in my doorway and at first I thought it was my mum. Then I heard a sniff and I got a shock because it was Shane. When I said what, he pretended he'd been sleepwalking and said sorry, wrong room.

Ellie was mad at Mum today when she went to school she said you're supposed to have a doctor's certificate if you're sick and Mum said she has a temperature so mind your own business. Ellie said is Shane going to be hanging round all day? and Mum said of course not he's going to his job with the house painters and Ellie said he'd better. Mum got really angry and said who are you to talk you've got that gormless bloke who can't do anything better than work at a takeaway and Ellie said if you mean Luke he's store manager and he's going to uni next year. Her voice was trembling but I never see Ellie cry. Mum just said oh uni is it? That's typical you'd pick him, now you can both be up yourselves together. When she gets angry she just says things that don't make any sense. Ellie just said he's a smart, nice guy who likes me so no wonder you don't get it. And since your useless boyfriend ruined your car, it's Luke that's been driving me home, so thank goodness someone's there to make sure I make it home OK, not that you'd care about that.

Mum just went red as a beetroot and said just get out and get yourself to school so you can do what you're good at and that's show off.

Ellie just looked at her and said is that the best you can do? Like she was tired. On her way out she said to me use the phone I got for you to text me at school if anything goes wrong, OK? I said, like what and she said if you get the stones feeling.

Shane was still in bed when Mum got onto the phone to my school after Ellie had gone. She could swap straight away from shouting at Ellie to putting on a phone voice. I had to unpick one of the Plushies and put more stuffing in when I finished because its arms were too floppy. We sewed them in front of the TV and Mum kept going back to check the instructions to make sure we were doing them right even though she's made five already. She said you don't understand Tyler it just keeps slipping out of my brain. We watched
The
Morning Show
and
Dr Phil
while we sewed. Shane went out at lunchtime but he didn't say anything about going to work. By four o'clock we'd finished six more Plushies and my fingers were all pricked and tingly but the dolls all had different personalities now because we were getting better at adding little bits and making them different. Their arms looked like they were about to hug you rather than sticking out straight because they were scared. Mum laid them out in a line when they were finished and said you put the little dot in their eyes Ty, my hand is shaking too much. So I did Ellie's magic trick and the Plushies stopped being scary and all of a sudden looked alive. Mum will take them to the shop tomorrow while I am at school and maybe somebody will buy one who wants a
cutely irresistible toy
.

I was in bed when Ellie came home and she woke me up. She said do you want some of this meatball sub and I said no then she said well you can sleep in my bed if you like. I said I wanted to sleep in my own bed and she said well how about I get in with you.