Tales from the Hood (18 page)

The group drove up and down Main Street looking for a parking space. Granny commented that she had never seen the downtown area so busy, even when there were other humans living in town. While they searched, they passed the site where the bank had once stood.

“I’ve heard of people robbing banks, but I’ve never heard of anyone stealing the bank itself,” Uncle Jake said as Granny peered out her window at the vacant lot.

“That’s quite peculiar,” Granny said. “Unfortunately, it’s a mystery that’s going to have to wait.”

Daphne poked her head out the window and craned her neck for a better view. When she pulled herself back inside the car she looked panicked and nervous. She turned to Sabrina and mouthed the words, “What happened?”

Sabrina shrugged, though her heart burned for the betrayal she was committing. Sabrina knew what was going on in her sister’s mind. Daphne believed the weapon was lost. Sabrina knew she should tell, and from the look on Puck’s face, he agreed, but she wasn’t sure how to explain. When Daphne reached up to touch the necklace, Sabrina could almost hear the remorse running through her sister’s mind.

Uncle Jake finally parked the car and the family trudged up the steps toward the courtroom. Once inside, Daphne yanked on Sabrina’s sleeve and told Granny they would meet them inside in a moment. Granny agreed but told the children not to dillydally. Mr. Canis needed their support.

“OK, I was wrong,” said Daphne as she leaned against a wall. The little girl looked like she needed it to prevent herself from collapsing. Her face was red and tears were swimming in her eyes. “We should have gotten the weapon while we could. Now, we’ll never get it. You saw the bank. It’s gone.”

Sabrina nodded but said nothing.

“I should have listened to you,” the little girl continued.

“Yes, well, it’s too late for that,” Sabrina said. “You wanted to be in charge and—”

Puck kicked her in the leg and gave her an angry look.

“What are we going to do about the weapon?” Daphne cried. “What if we didn’t go get it ’cause I was being stubborn and it turns out we need it?”

Puck glared at Sabrina. “I have a feeling it will turn up.”

The courtroom door opened and Granny poked her head out. “Come along,
lieblings
. The trial is staring.”

The courtroom was standing room only and curious citizens were spilling out into the hall. News of the trial had obviously spread, and Everafters from all over town had come to see what everyone was referring to as “the trial of every century.”

Mayor Heart and Sheriff Nottingham gazed at the capacity crowd with delight. Sabrina overheard Heart suggesting that they should have sold tickets. Nottingham agreed and they both broke into laughter.

Several of the family’s friends came over to offer their support. Gepetto had closed his toy store to come and be by the family’s side. Cinderella and her human husband, Tom, came over and offered to bring the family dinner, though Granny declined. Mr. Seven sat on a stack of phonebooks in the back row and even Briar Rose’s fairy godmothers wished the family well, while staring daggers at Uncle Jake. But most surprising was Snow White, who eased into their row and sat down next to Granny Relda. She said nothing, just took the old woman’s hand in her own and held it.

“I’m sorry, Snow,” the old woman said.

“I know you would never do anything to hurt me on purpose, Relda. I’m sorry, too,” Ms. White replied.

Briar Rose joined the group. She sat down next to Uncle Jake and took his hand. Uncle Jake smiled. “You sure you want the whole town knowing you’re dating a Grimm?”

Briar nodded and kissed him on the cheek. There was a light in the couple’s eyes and laughter in their voices. Sabrina had seen the same expressions on her parents’ faces every day that she could remember. The sleepy princess and her swashbuckling uncle were in love.

Robin Hood and Little John entered the courtroom just as several card soldiers led Mr. Canis to his table. Robin patted him on the shoulder, then opened his briefcase. He rifled through some papers and watched Bluebeard out of the corner of his eye. Bluebeard stopped at the Grimms’ row and bent in close to smile at Ms. White.

“Snow, someone should arrest you. It has to be a crime to be so beautiful,” he said.

Snow gave a forced smile, but when the creepy man turned away, Sabrina caught her rolling her eyes in disgust. Sabrina looked over and spotted her little sister doing the same.

“All rise!” the Three of Spades shouted. “The honorable Judge Hatter is now presiding.”

Judge Hatter marched through a side door. He was carrying a sledgehammer on his shoulder and tripping over his long black robes. When he got to his seat, he set the sledgehammer down and looked around the courtroom.

“Oh, you’re back. Well, I suppose we should start the trial,” he said. He picked up his sledgehammer and slammed it down on the desk, practically destroying it. “Mr. Bluebeard, do you have another witness?”

“Indeed I do! The prosecution calls Howard Hatchett.”

The double doors at the back of the room opened and a man in a flashy blue suit entered. He had a bushy red beard and a veiny nose. He was wearing a bright red ball cap with a logo advertising something called Hatchettland. He looked nervous, especially when he saw Mr. Canis. He even tried to run away several times, but two card soldiers stopped him and forced him into the witness stand.

Hatchett sat down, but he never took his eyes off Canis. Even when Bluebeard approached him and thanked him for taking the time to testify, Hatchett didn’t seem to hear him.

“Mr. Hatchett, are you well?” Bluebeard asked.

“I’m fine,” Hatchett said, shifting in his seat. “I have to admit I never thought I’d see this day.”

“Mr. Hatchett, could you tell the jury who you are and how you are related to this case,” Bluebeard asked.

Hatchett stammered. “My name is Howard Hatchett. Some people know me as the woodcutter or the hunter from the story of Red Riding Hood.”

Sabrina watched Canis frown.

“And you were there the day of the incident?”

Hatchett nodded, keeping his eyes on Canis.

“What kind of work are you in, Mr. Hatchett?”

“Well, I . . . I used to be a woodcutter. I cut down trees and sold the lumber to mills. I started out working for a man but then I saw an opportunity and went into business for myself.” Hatchett sat quietly, watching Canis. After a few minutes, his expression changed from fear to confusion, and he continued. “Then one day I thought to myself, ‘Hey! I’m one of literature’s greatest heroes.’”

“What did he say?” Daphne whispered.

“He’s bragging,” Puck replied.

“I saved Little Red Riding Hood’s life. I’m an idol to millions. I faced the Big Bad Wolf and lived to tell about it. I’m famous and beloved. So I started a company to provide products to people who want to be more like me.”

“Please explain.”

“People want to feel like they know me. I’m their hero, after all. Well, I can’t go out and meet everyone, so the best I can do is sell them things with my face and name on them. For instance, my company sells Woodcutter Three-Bean Chili, Woodcutter Toilet Cakes, Woodcutter Beef Jerky, Woodcutter Steel-Belted Radial Tires, Woodcutter Diaper Rash Powder—the list goes on and on. I also operate an amusement park, and of course, the Howard Hatchett Historical Museum located right here in Ferryport Landing. I’m currently seeking investors for my latest venture—a chain of Woodcutter Home-Cooking Restaurants.”

“How did you become this hero to millions?” the lawyer asked.

Hatchett glanced at Canis one last time. Sabrina watched his confusion turn to confidence, as if a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders. “Well, it was sort of thrust on me. One day I was out in the forest and I heard a scream. I was just a regular working stiff back then, you know, just like everybody. I never thought of myself as a hero, but there are those who stand by and watch and a rare few who act. So, with nothing more than my wits and my ax, I raced off to help.”

“What did you find?” Bluebeard said, sounding inspired.

“I came upon a little house in the woods. Inside, there was this terrible shouting. I peered into the window and saw a monster attacking a child. Well, I suppose a normal person might have just run off, but I’m not normal. I knew people were in trouble. I knew I would fight to the death to save them.”

“You say you saw a monster. Do you see that monster in the courtroom today?”

Hatchett looked over at Canis, and for a moment, the man’s confidence dissolved. He pointed with a trembling hand at the old man. “It was him.”

“Let the record show that Mr. Hatchett is referring to the accused,” Bluebeard said, then turned his attention back to Hatchett. “You mean the Wolf. Were you afraid?” Bluebeard continued.

Hatchett shook his head. “When you’re a man like me, you go to a place where fear doesn’t follow. I look back on it now and I laugh. I should have been afraid.”

“Oh, brother,” Puck said.

The crowd turned to glare at him.

“Please, could he be any more dramatic?”

Judge Hatter slammed his desk with the sledgehammer, sending a portion of the wood to the floor. “Silence in the courtroom!”

“What happened next?” Bluebeard continued.

“I pounded on the door so hard it fell off its hinges. I’m a strong guy. I work out. I can bench about two-fifty, really. Then I rushed in with my ax raised. The Wolf had finished off the old woman—there was nothing I could do for her, but the little girl was still in danger. Now the monster knew he didn’t want to go head to head with me, so in desperation he turned and swallowed the little girl whole.”

Mr. Canis shifted uncomfortably.

“Good heavens!” Bluebeard cried. “What did you do?”

“That’s a situation where instinct takes over. I swung my ax at the monster’s belly. It split from end to end and the child spilled out, perfectly healthy. The assault caused the Wolf to pass out, so I filled his belly full of rocks and sewed it shut with some thread I found in a cabinet. Then I carried the creature on my back to the river and tossed him in. The weight of the rocks caused him to sink to the bottom.”

“Yet he lived,” Bluebeard said, gesturing at Canis.

“He’s a tough customer,” Hatchett replied. “But I’m tougher.”

“I appreciate your time,” Bluebeard replied as he took his seat. “I’m finished with this witness.”

Hatchett barely noticed. He continued promoting himself. “I tell the whole story on my Web site, hatchettland.com. It’s a great place to buy my various products, including my twelve-inch action figure with kung-fu grip, my Woodcutter All-Protein Organic Cereal Bars, Woodcutter Toilet Paper, Woodcutter Nasal Spray, and the new six-patty Hatchett EZ-Grill. It seals in the juices and drains the fat for perfect burgers every time!”

Robin Hood leaped to his feet. “I have some questions for you!” he shouted as he approached the man.

“Order!” the judge cried, but Robin ignored him.

“You claimed you saw a monster attack the women—can you be sure it was the Wolf?”

“Order!”

“How did you carry his huge body over your shoulder, filled with stones no less, and dump it in the river? How far away was this river? Did anyone see you do this?”

“Order! Order! Order!” the judge shrieked.

“I have the right to question witnesses, your honor!” the lawyer shouted.

“Objection!” Bluebeard cried.

Hatter slammed the heavy sledgehammer down on his desk, which split into two and collapsed. “Now look what you’ve made me do!”

“This trial is a sham!” Little John shouted, as he leaped to his feet.

“Guards, remove these men from my sight!” the judge demanded. A mob of card soldiers rushed forward and pulled Robin Hood and Little John from the courtroom, but they didn’t go peacefully. They fought and shouted that there was no justice in Ferryport Landing.

When they were gone, Judge Hatter got to his feet. “We’ll see you all here tomorrow.” He left, and the crowd started filing out of the courtroom. Guards dragged Canis out of the courtroom and back to his cell.

Granny rushed everyone outside, where they found Robin Hood and Little John crawling out of the gutter and dusting themselves off. Sabrina expected the men to be furious but they were both laughing.

“It’s been a while since we got thrown out of a place, hasn’t it, old friend?” Robin said.

Little John laughed. “McSorley threw us out of his pub last week, Robin.”

“Oh, yeah, I forgot!” The men roared with laughter.

“You two seem to be in a good mood,” Granny said.

“Actually, we’re in a rotten mood,” Little John replied. “But it’s important to laugh from time to time. As for this court case, well, it’s a joke. They aren’t going to let Canis defend himself.”

“Our approach now is to cause as much of a disturbance as possible,” Robin Hood said.

“I’d like to help with that,” Puck offered.

“You’ll get your chance soon enough, Trickster King,” Robin said.

“What do you have in mind?” Uncle Jake asked.

“Oh, that would be telling,” Robin said. “As for now, I think I’d like to take a visit to Mr. Hatchett’s amusement park. I have a feeling that he’s not telling the whole story.”

“You think he was lying?” Daphne asked.

“That scrawny little man couldn’t carry a sack of groceries on his back, let alone the Big Bad Wolf,” Little John replied. “If only we could let Canis out, I have a feeling he could get the man to confess a few things he’d rather keep secret.”

“We don’t need the Wolf for that,” Daphne said. “Can we stop at home for a second before we go see Hatchett?”

“Sure,
liebling
,” Granny said. “What do you have in mind?”