Taking the Bastile (63 page)

‘No; but there may be many, although I do not know them I do not know everything.’

‘Zounds I I believe you.’

Pitou made the sifp of the cross.

‘What are you doing there, libertine?’

‘You swore, Monsieur Abbe, and I crossed myself.’

‘Why, rascal, Lave you come here to tympanise me?’

‘To tympanise you r repeated Pitou.

‘Ah 1 good now again you do not comprehend ‘

‘Oh 1 yes, I understand it well enough. Ah I thanks to you, I know the roots of words tympanise tympanum drum; it comes from the Greek tympanon, drum or bell.’

‘Ah! ah 1 rascallion I’ cried the abbe, astounded, ‘it seems that you yet know something, even what you did not know.’

‘Poohl’ ejaculated Pitou, with affected modesty.

‘How did it happen that during the whole time you were with me, you could not answer me as you have now done ?’

‘Because, during the time I was with yea AbW Fortier, you brutalised me because, by your despotism you repelled my intelligence, imprisoned within my memory all that liberty has since brought forth from it. Yes, liberty,’ continued Pitou, becoming more energetic as he proceeded; ‘do you hear mo? liberty 1’

‘Ah, rascal 1’ exclaimed the Abb6 Fortier; ‘why, really the fellow has been in the revolutionary school.’

‘ How can that be, since you yourself have said that the revolutionists are fools and ignoramuses?’

‘Yes, I do say so.’

‘Then you are making a false reasoning, my worthy abb6, and”^ your syllogism is badly founded. 1

‘Badly founded I What say you ? I have badly founded a syllogism ? ‘

”Undoubtedly, Monsieur Abb6. Pitou reasons and speaks well Pitou has been to the revolutionary school the

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revolutionists consequently reason and speak well. There is no getting out of that.’

‘You say that the revolutionists speak well and reason well. But tell me the name of any one of those wretches who knows how to read and write.’

‘That is blinking the point in discussion; but, I will answer you, nevertheless, I can read and write.’ cried Pitou, with assurance.

‘Read I will admit that and yet, I know not but, as to writing ‘

‘Writing 1* cried Pitou.

‘Yes, you can write; but without orthography.’

‘That is to be seen.’

‘Will you lay a wager that you will write a page under my dictation without making four blunders?’

‘WU1 you lay a wager, you, that you will write half a page under my dictation without making two?’

‘Fortunately,’ said the abbe, ‘accusing is of slight importance; it is the proof that condemns.’

Alas 1 good Monsieur Abb6, that would be perfectly easy; let us see, what do you teach your pupils?

Why ‘

‘Allow me to follow up the argument. What do you teach your pupils?’

‘Why, what I know.’

‘Good I remember that your answer was ” what I know.” ‘

‘Well yes, what I know,’ said the abbe, somewhat shaken; for he felt that during his absence this singular combatant had learnt some unknown thrusts. ‘Yes, I did say so; and what then?’

‘Well, then, since you teach your pupils what you know, tell me what it is that you do know?’

‘Latin, French, Greek, history, geography, arithmetic, algebra, astronomy, botany, and numismatics ‘

‘Anything more?’ inquired Pitou.

‘Why ‘

‘Try to find something else.’

‘Drawing.’

‘Go on.’

‘Architecture.’

‘Go on.’

‘But tell me what are you aiming at?’

‘Simply at this; you have stated pretty largely the

o

4 x8 TAKING THE BASTILLE

account of what you do know; now state the account of what you do not know.,

The abbe shuddered.

‘Ah 1’ said Pitou, ‘I clearly see that to do this I must assist you; well, then, you do not know either German, or Hebrew, or Arabic, or Sanscrit, four mother languages. I speak not of the sub-divisions, which are innumerable. You know nothing of natural history, of chemistry, of physics ‘

Monsieur Pitou ‘

‘Do not interrupt me : you know nothing of rectilinear trigonometry; you are Ignorant of medicine; you know nothing of acoustics, of navigation; you are ignorant of everything that regards the gymnastic sciences.’

‘What say you?

‘I said gymnastics, from the Greek gymnata exerca, which comes from gymnox, naked, because the athletes were naked when they exercised.’

‘Enough. It is certain that I am ignorant of much more than I know.’

‘Therefore, you acknowledge that many men know more than you do.’

“That is possible. Let us hear your conclusion; it will be a fine one.’ *

‘I conclude that, in virtue of your relative ignorance, you ought to be more indulgent as to the relative knowledge of other men. This constitutes a double virtue; a duplex virtue, which we are assured was that of F6n61on, who assuredly knew quite as much as you do; and that is the Christian charity of humility.’

The abbe uttered a perfect roar of anger.

‘Serpent I’ he exclaimed, ‘you are a serpent !’

‘You insult me but do not answer me; this was the reply of one of the seven wise men of Greece. I would say it in Greek, but I have already said it, or something nearly to the same purpose, in Latin.’

‘Good 1’ said the abbe, ‘this is another effect of revolutionary doctrines.’

‘And in what way?’

‘They have persuaded you you were my equal.’

‘And even should they have persuaded me of that, it would not give you the right of making a grammatical error.

‘What say you?’

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‘I say that you have just made an enormous fault, master.

‘Ah 1 that is very polite indeed and what fault did I commit?’

‘It is this. Yon said ” revolutionary principles have persuaded you you were my equal.” ‘

‘Well and what then?’

‘Well were is in the imperfect tense.’

‘Yes, undoubtedly.’

‘It was the present you should have used.’

‘Ah 1’ cried the abbe, blushing.

‘Pitou 1 Pitou 1’ exclaimed the abbe, imagining that there was something supernatural in this astounding erudition ‘ Pitou ! which of the demons is it that inspires you with all these attacks against an old man and against the Church?’

‘Why, my good master,’ replied Pitou, somewhat moved, ‘it is not a demon who inspires me, nor do I attack you. Only you treat me as if I were a perfect fool, and you forget that ail men are equals.’

The abbe was again irritated.

‘It is that which I never will permit; I cannot allow such blasphemies to be uttered in my presence. You you the equal of a man whom God and study have taken sixty years to form 1*

‘Well, then, ask Monsieur de Lafayette, who has proclaimed the rights of man.’

‘Yes, yes, ate as an authority an unfaithful subject of the king the torch of all this discord the traitor 1’

‘Hey I’ cried Pitou, horrified. ‘Monsieur de Lafayette an unfaithful subject I Monsieur de Lafayette a fire-brand of discord 1 Monsieur de Lafayette a traitor I Why, you must have lived shut up in a box during the last three months. You do not know, then, that this unfaithful subject of the king is the only one who serves the king? that this torch of discord is the pledge of

Sublic peace ? that this traitor is the best of Frenchmen ? t is very fortunate for you, Monsieur 1’Abbe, that the people do not hear you,’ he added imprudently.

‘Ahl’ exclaimed the Abbe, with triumph, ‘you at length reveal yourself you threaten. The people yes, the people who basely murdered the king’s officers the people, who even tore out the entrails of their victims. Yes, Monsieur d Lafayette’s people Monsieur Bailly’s people

420 TAKING THE BASTILLE

Monsieur Pitou’s people I Well then, why do you not instantly denounce me to the revolutionists of Villers Cotter fits ? Why do you not turn up your sleeves to hang me on the first post? Come, now, Pitou, motto animo. Pitou, sttrsunt sursum, Pitou. Come, come, where is your rope? where is your gallows? It was you, was it not, who on the square before the Hotel de Ville ascended the lamp-iron, and with your long, hideous, spider-like arms drew the victims to you ?’

Pitou uttered a perfect roar of horror and indignation.

‘Do you know that you are saying abominable things to me, Monsieur 1’Abbe?’ he exclaimed. ‘Do you know that, in point of fact, you are insulting me?’

‘I insult you?’

Then he exclaimed, as if suddenly enlightened and struck with a movement of generous indignation, ‘Ah 1 the helmet I the helmet 1 ‘tis he !’

‘Well,’ said Pitou, ‘what is the matter with my helmet?’

‘The man who tore out the still smoking heart of Berthier the cannibal who carried it, still bleeding, and laid it on the table of the electors wore a helmet : that man with the helmet was you, Pitou 1 it was you, monster that you are 1 a vaunt I a vaunt 1 a vaunt 1’

And each time that the abbe pronounced the word avaunt, which he did with much tragic emphasis, he advanced one step towards Pitou, who retreated in the same proportion.

‘You see, wretch 1’ cried the abbe, ‘you acknowledge it.’

‘Come, now,’ said Pitou, completely taken aback by so horrible an accusation, ‘you are exaggerating, Monsieur 1’Abbe.’

‘I exaggerate that is to say, that you only hanged a little that is to say, that you only ripped up a li ttle, poor, weak child 1’

‘Hear me. Monsieur Abbe,’ said he, ‘I will not contend with you any further. You have your own ideas ‘

‘Really !’

‘That is but right.’

‘You acknowledge that : Monsieur Pitou allows me to have mv own ideas 1 Thanks, Monsieur Pitou I’

‘Gooa I There, you are getting angry again. You must comprehend that if this continues I shall not be able to tell you the object which brought me here.’

‘Wretch I You had an object in coming here, then?

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You were deputed, perhaps?’ And the abbe laughed ironically.

‘Yes; several of my fellow-citizens have elected me their chief,’ said Pitou complacently.

‘Chief of what?’ inquired the abbe.

‘Chief of the National Guard of Haramont,’ concluded Pitou, affecting modesty.

The abt>e leaned towards Pitou in order to gain from his features a confirmation of his words.

‘There is a National Guard at Haramont?’ cried he.

‘Yes, Monsieur Abb6.’

‘And you are the chief of it?’

‘Yes, Monsieur Abbe.’

The abbe raised his outstretched arms towards heaven, like Phineas the high priest.

‘Abomination of desolation 1’ murmured he.

‘You are not ignorant, Monsieur Abbe,’ said Pitou, with gentleness, ‘that the National Guard is an institution destined to protect the life, the liberty, and the property of the citizens.’

‘Oh I oh 1’ continued the abbe, overwhelmed by his despair.

‘And that,’ continued Pitou, ‘too much vigour cannot be given to that institution, above all in the country, on account of the very numerous bands ‘

‘Bands of which you are the chief,’ cried the abbe; ‘bands of plunderers, bands of incendiaries, bands of assassins 1’

‘Oh I do not confound things in this manner, dear Monsieur Abb6; consider, on the contrary, that we are your natural protectors; and the proof of this is that I have coma straight to you.’

‘And for what purpose?’ inquired the abbe.

‘Well,’ said Pitou, ‘this is the object of my mission, good Monsieur Abbe; permit me to develop it to your sagacity.’

‘Exordium I’ muttered the abbe.

Pitou backed two steps in order to secure his line of retreat. But, by a singular manoeuvre, and which did not fail to give Pitou some uneasiness, whenever he made two steps nearer the door, the abbe, in order to remain at the name distance from him, advanced two steps towards Pitou.

‘Well,’ said Pitou, ‘all soldiers require muskets, and we have not any.’

4** TAKING THE BASTILLE

‘Ah 1 you have no muskets 1’ cried the abbe, dancing with joy; ‘ah 1 they have no muskets I Soldiers without muskets I Ah 1 by my faith they must be very pretty soldiers.’

‘But, Monsieur Abbe,’ said Pitou, ‘when men have not muskets they seek for them.’

‘Yes,’ said the abbe, ‘and you are in search of some?’

‘Yes.’

Where?’

‘In your house,’ said Pitou.

‘Guns in my house ?’ asked the abbe. Ah I my museum; you come to rob my museum. Only fancy the cuirasses of old heroes on the backs of such creatures. Pitou, I told you just now that you were mad. The swords of the Spaniards of Almanza, the pikes of the Swiss of Marignan, were never made for such a troop as yours.’

The abbe laughed so scornfully that a cold shudder ran through Pitou ‘s veins.

‘No 1 abbe,’ said Pitou, ‘the Spanish swords and Swiss pikes would be of no use, but those capital muskets I cleaned so often when I studied under you.’

‘Indeed,’ said the abbe, and he felt his few hairs stand erect as Pitou spoke > ‘you want my old marine muskets ? ‘

‘They are the only weapons you have without any historical interest, and really fit for service.’

‘Indeed said the abbe, placing his hand on the handle of his hammer, as the soldier would have seized his sword. ‘Back, now, the traitor unveils himself.’

‘Abbe,’ said Pitou, passing from menace to prayer, ‘give me thirty muskets ‘

‘Go back.’ The abbe advanced towards Pitou.

‘And you will have the glory of having contributed to rescue the country from its oppressors.’

‘ Furnish arms to be used against me and mine 1 Never I ‘ said the abbe.

‘Monsieur,’ said Pitou, ‘your name shall be placed in the journal of Monsieur Prudhomme.’

‘My name in his paper? I had rather be sent to the galleys.’

‘What! yon refuse?’ asked Pitou.

‘Yes, and tell you to go ‘ pointing to the door.

‘That would be very wrong, lor you would be accused of treason. Monsieur, I beg you not to expose yourself to that.’

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‘Make me a martyr hero; I ask but that.’ And his eye glared so that he looked more like the executioner than the victim. So Pitou thought, for he began to fall back.