Taking Passion by Storm (12 page)

“
Actually, yes. That’s what I thought might happen.”

Oh wow.
Addison realized he was only just
beginning to understand where her head had been for years. “Nadine, I won’t
hurt you. I swear it.”

“
I believe you,” she whispered.

“
Good. Now let’s finish this meal.” He had to take this
slowly. It would be difficult, but she was worth it.

When
they finished eating, Addison took the dishes and glasses into the kitchen and
washed them. He re-corked the wine and placed it in the refrigerator. When he
returned to the hallway, her door was open and she was in there, clearly
getting ready to sleep in that room.

She
glanced up and smiled. “Thank you again for the food.”

He
stepped inside. “You’re welcome. Are you going straight to bed? Not a great
idea on a full stomach.”

She
pulled her phone out of her backpack. “I thought I’d read a bit first. I have
books on here that I’ve been waiting months to get to.”

Addison
swallowed hard. How could he tell her he’d been hoping she’d spend the night
with him? He didn’t want things to get all weird between them again. “Need some
company while you read?”

She
averted her gaze for a second or two, and he knew he’d be trying to sleep alone
next door tonight. “I need time to think about everything you said, and about
what happened between us.”

He
nodded. “Okay. I understand. Just promise me one thing.”

“
What?”

“
That before you make any final decisions, we’ll talk
about it. Will you do that for me?”

“
Of course. I promise.”

“
Thank you.” Addison pulled her close and held her,
resisting the urge to kiss her again. That wouldn’t be fair to either of them,
especially her. He inhaled her scent, mixed now with the smell of sex from
earlier, and he wondered how in the hell he’d ever be able to give her up if it
came to that.

One
evening with this woman and he was smitten. That had never happened to him.
Then again, Nadine wasn’t merely any woman. For years he hadn’t been able to
get her out of his mind. What the fuck was he going to do now, after making
love to her? How in the hell would he be able to forget her for the rest of his
life? Short answer, he wouldn’t. No way. Not possible.

Chapter
Twelve

Nadine
couldn’t read. She did try, but her mind wouldn’t focus on the words. Instead
she kept seeing the email from Merrill she’d received Saturday. On the heels of
that image came the memories of what she and Addison had done mere hours ago.
What the hell was wrong with her? Her father was missing and probably dead, and
what was she doing? Having sex with a man she’d never even dated, in a bunker
full of strangers!

How
had he been able to help her past four years’ worth of terror and disgust, and
bring her to such heights of passion? Was he human? Shouldn’t she be thinking
about their mission? Shouldn’t she be filled with grief and dread? Why wasn’t
he?

She
rose from the bed and paced the tiny room. Guilt consumed her as she let the
sensations wash over her once more. She could still feel his hands and mouth on
her. She could feel him inside her, and she wanted him right now, all over
again. What the hell had he done to her?

Nadine
plopped back down on the bed and put her face in her hands. “Dad, I sure wish
you were here right now,” she whispered. “I need advice.”

They
had to find him. They
had
to. As soon
as they did, and right after they made sure he was okay, she was going to tell
him everything. He had always been the one she’d turned to as a child for
advice on anything from which color crayon to use, to whether or not she could
tell if a certain boy liked her.

Even
when her mother had still been living with them, she never had time for
Nadine’s endless questions, or for much of anything outside of her own
pursuits. It had been her father who taught her to ride a bike, drive a car,
and stay safe online.

After
Lonnie used her, she finally told her father about it, two weeks later. While
he was very pissed off at the boy, he wasn’t upset with her. He told her that
in the future, she should give her body to man, not a boy, and that to be sure
she cared about that man and he cared about her first.

When
they finished their talk, she’d heard her father on the phone with Lonnie’s
father. At the time, she’d been mortified and actually afraid to return to
school the following Monday, but by mid day she came to realize no one had
heard about her father’s threats to Lonnie’s dad on the phone. At the end of
school term, about two months later, Lonnie’s family moved to another state. To
this day, Nadine still wondered if that had anything to do with the things
she’d heard her dad say on the phone.

Nadine
stared at the wall. On the other side of it was Addison, a man her father had
known for over twenty-five years. Addison cared about her, and she cared about
him, but what would her father say if she told him that she and Addison had
made love? Would he be happy, or would he kill Addison? Had she made a horrible
mistake to have let this happen?

It
didn’t
feel
wrong. That was what had
her so confused. It felt like something she’d been waiting for. As if the act
of coming together with Addison was the beginning of healing for her. How could
that be possible?

Nadine
had never been one to believe in fairytales or soul mates. She’d always assumed
it was her parents’ nightmare of a marriage that skewed her belief in true
love. All she’d wanted was to know what it felt like to have sex without being
used for it, or to have it forced on her. Now she did know, and it was
wonderful. It was perfect. It was everything she’d ever imagined it could be.

So
why then did she feel so conflicted about this? Was it only because her father
might be dead, or was it due to the fact that the man who had finally shown her
what this could be like was Addison? She’d known him all her life, but not in
this way. And to find out the feelings he’d harbored for her were this intense
wasn’t really a surprise, but she hadn’t allowed herself to think about it in
years.

Even
so, she barely knew him. Not in the way one should know a person they had sex
with, right? Hell. How in the fuck would she know? Her experiences had hardly
been vast or deep. For all she knew, this was how everyone got together.

Was
she truly ready for this? One did not simply heal from a traumatic experience
within a matter of hours. Was she ready for a physical relationship? A real
one? An adult, mature one? She wanted it. She’d wanted it well before that
horrible afternoon. She used to wonder what was wrong with her that she
couldn’t seem to find a guy she wanted to go out with more than a few times, or
with whom she could imagine having sex.

She’d
imagined being with Addison plenty of times, before the rape. But afterward,
she didn’t think about sex at all. Not without the memories, that is. Not
without the fear, and the pain, and the anger. Any fantasies about Addison were
pushed aside each time. He surfaced in her dreams, but the next morning she
would chide herself for being ridiculous. A man like him would only want one
thing from her.

Well, now he’d had it
. She shook her head. No! He hadn’t
used her. She wanted to believe his words. He wanted her in his life and this
hadn’t only been about sex. But what if she was wrong? What if those were only
lines he’d fed her? How in the hell would she know the difference? She had
friends who had a string of past relationships and didn’t always know the difference.
What hope of discernment did someone like her have?

Nadine’s
head hurt, and she knew she needed to try to get some sleep, or she’d be
useless in the morning. She didn’t want to slow the others down. Her father was
out there somewhere, and they had to find him.

She
took a quick shower and then curled up on her side, trying to clear her mind so
she could drift off to sleep again. Addison’s face and his deep, sexy voice
filled her head, but she couldn’t do anything about that. It’s not like she
would ever forget what they had shared.

****

Nadine
woke and couldn’t remember where she was at first, but then it all came back to
her. She heard sounds in the hallway, so dressed as quickly as possible,
grateful she’d thought to take a shower the night before. She packed just as
quickly, and when she emerged she smelled food and coffee.

Addison
and the others, with the exception of George, were in the common room and
kitchen, eating and drinking. She poured herself a cup of coffee and made a
plate, then took it with her to an empty seat in the corner of the common room.

Gina
and Suzanne exchanged a curious glance, and Nadine wished she’d stayed in her
apartment. Addison had told her they all knew what had happened, and she
imagined right now they were wondering if she’d spent the night in his room.
What the hell had she done? These people had come up here to look for her
father, and instead she’d given them a nice juicy story to gossip and speculate
about.

Lee
sauntered toward her, and she almost rolled her eyes. She did not need this
right now. Out of the corner of her eye she watched Addison make his way toward
her from the opposite direction. He and Lee eyed each other, and again she
wondered how well Addison knew this man. He must have chosen him for a reason, but
right now they looked like high school rivals on the playing field. If her
focus hadn’t been on finding her dad, she’d ask Addison exactly what was the
story with Lee. Should she be afraid of the man? That would be good to know.

Lee
gave Addison a look of disgust, but he turned around and went back to where
he’d been. Addison continued walking until he reached her. “Did you sleep
well?”

“
Not really.” She kept her voice low. No point in
inviting more gossip. “You?”

“
Not as much as I would have liked.”

“
I’m sorry if I’ve overslept.”

“
You didn’t. I would have woken you in a few moments if
you hadn’t come out.”

“
Is George still sleeping?”

Addison
snorted. “He’s been up for hours. He’s already out there, plotting out the
day’s journey.”

“
By himself?”

“
George is used to being outdoors by himself. He’ll be
back before we leave.”

Nadine
wanted to talk about last night, but everyone was watching them now. The
conversation in the room had died down. This wasn’t what she wanted. She should
never have made love to him. He’d given her an out, telling her they could wait
until they were back underground, and she should have taken it.

These
were his employees, and the Storm Troopers he’d known for years. They needed to
respect him and follow his leadership, not wonder who he was sleeping with. Any
hope she’d had of these people believing she’d come up here merely to help find
her father vanished. They’d never swallow that story now.

She
finished eating, drained her coffee cup, and rose, brushing past Addison
without a word. She’d have to discuss this with him, but that conversation
would have wait. They had a job to do.

****

The
temperature was warmer than the day before, but the cloud cover was thicker and
Nadine kept glancing up at the sky. Gina was frustrated because the satellites
weren’t working today, so each time she looked up, so did Nadine.

Addison
started hanging back from the group as they went into cave after cave, so she
did as well. Maybe he wanted to talk as much as she did? They both went into a
cave that the others didn’t, and Addison placed his lantern on the floor.
“What’s going on with you today?”

“
What do you mean?”

“
You won’t even look at me.”

She
glanced toward the cave opening.

“
Don’t worry about them. They won’t leave us behind.”

His
voice was hard, and she wanted to die inside. “Did you see the looks I was
getting this morning?”

“
I saw Lee eyeing you, and I intend to speak with him
as soon as possible, but I didn’t notice anything else out of the ordinary.”

“
Well I did.” She told him about the glance that passed
between Gina and Suzanne, and how she was sure they were all wondering if she’d
spent the night with him.

“
Nadine, this isn’t high school. These people don’t
give a shit who I sleep with or don’t.”

She
blinked back tears. “Okay, but I don’t want to cause any trouble.”

“
You’re not causing trouble. For heaven’s sake…” He
pulled her into arms, which only served to make it more difficult not to cry.
“I don’t give a crap what they assume about me, okay? I’m not up here to please
them. I
pay
them. Well, I pay some of
them. But the Storm Troopers have known me for a long time. I don’t care
whether they judge me, as long as we get the job done we came up here to do.”

“
I’m sorry. I don’t know how to deal with this.”

He
pulled away to look into her eyes. “How to deal with what we did, or how to
deal with the fact that I’m not giving up on you?”

What?
“I thought after last night…”

He
grinned, and her heart fluttered. “You thought what? That just because you
needed time to yourself to think things through I wasn’t going to speak to you
again?”

“
Something like that.”

He
gave her a quick kiss, and even though it was swift, it left her breathless.
“Well, you’re wrong, sweetheart. I want you more than ever now. What I need to
know is if you still want me.”

“Yes.
Of course.” She gathered her thoughts. Time to stop jerking this poor guy
around. “Addison, I do want you. I’ve fantasized about you for years, too.
After I was raped, I couldn’t deal with any of those feelings. Not only about
you, but about anyone. I don’t know how you did what you did to me … how you
helped me past all that, but you did. I want to be with you, too.”

“
Thank you, Nadine. Please stop worrying what the
others think about us. All we need to focus on is what
we
think of us. Can you do that for me?”

“
Yes. Yes, I can.” Her heart soared. “I’m sorry I’ve
been so off and on with you.”

“
Don’t be sorry. Just please trust that I mean what I
say to you.”

“
I do trust you. I know you mean it.”

He
brushed finger along her lips. “That’s all I wanted to hear.” He bent his head
and kissed her again, slowly this time. She moaned in the back of her throat as
every spine-tingling, delicious memory from last night came rushing back.

She
wrapped her arms around his shoulders, and just as he slipped his tongue into her
mouth, he pulled back when excited voices reached their ears. He grabbed the
lantern, and she followed him outside where Lee and Alesia pointed toward a
cave.

“
In there,” she said. “Equipment. We’ve found
equipment.”