Taking Courage (3 page)

She
owed him.

Her
head crept up enough to allow her a peek through her eyelashes. He was handsome
in a stern sort of way. His flat nose had a bump along one side, like maybe it
had been broken a few times. He was probably a fighter.

Would he fight
for me?

The
idea blasted her system with heat. She didn’t want to move from his side, but
she’d have to. She’d have to go home. Her dream turned off, and dread filled
her from within.

The
fact she couldn’t remember earlier now flashed through her thoughts. She'd
forgotten to mention she'd never
scened
before. Unease
rolled around her belly.

Be open and
honest.
She’d broken the cardinal rule. She had to apologize to Master Simon, but then he’d
never want to see her again, not after she told him the truth. It was the first
item on her list of things to communicate. How had she forgotten such a detail?

Tomorrow,
she'd planned to run back home. She wouldn't see him again anyway. The heat in
her body turned to ice. Tears threaten to escape like the nagging truth trying
to break free. She lowered her head and huddled underneath the false cocoon.

“Look
at me, pet.”

He
knew. She was a cheat, and he knew. Her push of courage had gotten her through
the door, but it couldn’t keep her here, not any longer. It was time to face
the consequences. She told herself to remember the Simon from the scene, her
first ever scene. He would always be her first Dom. She would try not to remember
the Dom that was about to dismiss her.

Chapter Two

“Head up now.”
Something was
agitating the tender bundle in his arms. Simon wanted to help her through it.
He may have taken a step back on his training responsibilities since his last
experience, but Janna felt perfect under his hand. He’d have to find out if
she’d be back.

“Yes, Sir.”

“What's
troubling you, pet?”

“I
forgot to mention something earlier.” She tucked the blanket under her chin.

“Oh?”
He rubbed in big circles around her back. “Why don't you tell me now?”

“This
was my first time, Sir.”

“
Your
first?” His confusion was thick. She tried to hide her
eyes from him, but he saw shame. Sometimes newer submissives struggled with
firsts. “Is this your first time being a guest?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Is
your home club much different?” The safe rules of BDSM clubs were pretty
universal, a real gift to traveling
kinksters
, but
sometimes a scene in a different setting could be unsettling.

“I
don't have a home club, Sir. Well, not one that I physically visit.” She rubbed
the edge of her blanket. “I'm an active member of their chat rooms.”

He
hadn't heard her right. No. She felt like an experienced submissive. Was she
just playing the part? Anger ticked a quick pace up his spine.

“Are
you telling me I just gave you your first scene?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Why
did you withhold this information?” When she didn't answer he added, “Why
weren't you honest with me?” He pushed her slightly, in part to get some
distance and to keep her safe from him. “Answer me, now.”

“I
forgot. It all happened so fast, and I forgot one of my lines.”

“Lines.”
He finished
shoving her from his lap and stood. “I hope you had fun tonight.”

“I
did, Sir,” she said as she stood to join him. She tugged at the edge of the
blanket that had stuck in the couch. “Please, let me thank you for tonight.”

“There
is no need. You lied to me, and you had your fun.” He scratched his brow. “Go
home now.” He took two storming steps away and stopped. He forced himself to
return to her, disgusted by how good it felt to see her face once more. He
stopped within an inch, forcing her to look up. “Do yourself a favor. Enter that
club at home, get yourself in a training program, and do not ever lie to a Dom
again.”

He
wanted to hit something. What was it with submissives and their lies? The lie
might have been smaller this time, but it was still a lie.

He
thundered past the scene areas and kept walking, increasing his speed. Folks
saved themselves and moved out of his way. Fury radiated down his arms curling
his fingers into fists, almost there.

Some
members thought Keller was crazy when he’d installed the small gym next to the
club. When the roster quickly filled, it was Keller that was laughing all the
way to the bank. Simon had a regular date with the bag hanging in the corner.
He may no longer enter the ring, but the regimented workouts kept him strong
and centered.

A
couple more steps and he'd entered the gym and saw the innocent bag hanging
right where he needed it to be. He slammed his fist into the bag. Pressure
reverberated from his hand straight to his heart, but it didn't release the
revulsion.

“Damn
her.”

He
needed to get this out and get back on the floor. One of his best friends was
about to collar his sub. The bag swung around. He walked around it and rolled
his shoulders back. He wanted to witness the happiness a pair could have when
things worked out and no one lied.

It
was just a scene, something he could shake off, and she was just a guest sub.
There was no possible way she could have felt as right as he thought. The anger
was tricking him. She was just another lying sub.
A sub to
forget.
A sub he would never see again.

“Damn
her.”

An
image of her regret filled face tugged at his resolve. His fingers flexed as he
remembered her velvet channel. His cock twitched, and he hit the bag again.

****

She
couldn't move. Shame filled her to bursting. Not only was her perfect night
ruined, but she'd angered him. The chill in his eyes as he turned away sent a tremor
down her spine.

It
was all her fault. She always ruined things. It was a Janna specialty. Her
inability to commit to any one thing drove her insane. She used to think it was
because her father never let her explore her own interests, but she couldn't
blame this one on her father. Her worst trait may have just lost her something
special.

Coming
here had been a miscalculation. She pulled the blanket tighter around her
shoulders. Her knees weakened with the weight of her bad luck.
Foolish Janna.

She
looked once more to the dance floor filled with people enjoying the rhythms
pumping through their bodies. She longed to be free like they appeared to be,
but she didn't belong here. The impostor needed to leave.

At
least her plane would take her home tomorrow and she could put this trip and
another bad choice behind her. She pounded her fist against her thigh, needing
a distraction against the wetness pushing at the edges of her eyes. All her
losses mixed perfectly to create the ugly smell of failure.

She'd
let her hopes rise today, a childish move. Somehow she’d truly believed that today
would be different. Failure was what Janna did best. No one in her family would
be surprised.

At
least Janna didn't have to share this disappointment with her parents. She may
be living with them now that her marriage was over, but this loss she'd keep to
herself.

She
looked in the direction Master Simon had fled. Seconds ticked by and nothing.
He wasn't coming back. The last threads of hope slipped from her fingers. A
tear rolled down her cheek, and she didn't have the strength to brush it away.

“Can
I help you, Miss?”

She
turned and looked into the gentle eyes of a tall older man. “No, thank you. I
was just leaving.” She reached to gather her things, but he got to them first.

“You're
upset. I'd like to help, if I can.”

His
tone required no argument, but she didn't want to explain to a stranger why she
was a waste of his time. “I'm just a guest from out of town. Really, I'll be
fine.”

“Sit.”

“Oh,
okay.” She sat on the edge of the couch. She had no intention of angering two
Doms
in one evening.

“I've
known Master Simon for some time. He's a good man. I apologize if he upset
you.”

“No,
it's okay. It was my fault actually. I hope I haven't angered him for long and
that he forgets all about it.” Janna trying something new and messing it up was
not just a possibility, but inevitable.

“I'm
sure he'll be fine. You don't have to tell me what happened, but I'll listen if
you want to talk it through or I can get Mistress Charlie for you if you’d
prefer.”

“You’re
so kind.”

“She’ll
be done with the ceremony soon. I’ll sit with you while you wait.”

“Thank
you.” Janna sat back and knew immediately she couldn’t wait to confess. “I'm
used to messing things up. It's my pattern. I was hoping this trip would be
different, especially after all the research I’ve done.”

“Ah.
Lots of research and not a lot of experience, am I right?”

“That’s
right, but I was ready to change that. Even Mistress Charlie thought I was
ready to enter the club, but I wasn’t ready for Master Simon.” She twisted her
wrists around and around trying to rub out her doubt. “Every time I found a new
piece of information about submission it felt right, and then this trip landed
in my lap. I knew the club here had a guest policy. I just wanted to experience
a scene.”

“Keep
going.”

“I
was a little flustered before our scene, and I accidentally gave Master Simon
the impression I was more experienced than I am.”

“From
what I saw the scene went well.”

“Exactly,
wait ... you think so, too?” Joy split through her frayed nerves, and rightness
filled her.

“Why not?
You did as he
asked. I was sitting across the room with a friend, but it looked like a
beautiful orgasm to me. I saw nothing out of the ordinary.”

Her
face felt hotter than the sun. He had watched. She knew folks would watch their
scene, but she hadn’t contemplated talking to any of them about it after. “Thank
you, I feel bad I upset him.”

“There
is history in his response. I don't suggest you take it personally.”

“Oh, no, really?
Damn, I feel
worse, and I'll always be grateful to him, too.” Simon had answered a giant
looming question. She only wished he could celebrate with her.

A
burst of applause from the other end of the room stole her attention. She also
wished she could join the group and forget about her troubles.

“Where
are you from?”

She
looked back at the kind man.
“The Detroit area.
I'm a Project
Manager there. I’ve been thinking about moving to Chicago though. I should
probably just stay home.”

“Good
PMs are hard to find. What industry?”

“IT,
I handle software installs mostly. I’ve managed a few application developments too.”

“That’s
a growing area and one where I have many connections. If Chicago is the change
you need, I think you should go for it.”

The
thoughts roaming through her mind froze. If her father had taught her anything
it was to use her connections. “Do you know any recruiters in the area?”

“I
do actually.” He handed her his phone. “Give me your number, and I'll pass it
along.”

“Really?”
She felt like
she'd been handed a life line sprinkled in sugar.

“I’ll
help you with the connection. You’ll have to do the rest.” He held out his
hand. “I'm Keller by the way.”

****

She
had never accomplished so much in just two weeks. Packing up and leaving had
been hard, harder than when she left her husband of one month, and leaving went
against the Hall motto of putting family first, but she needed a break from her
father's oversight and a break from seeing her ex, too. She needed to start
making her own decisions. Her mother didn’t want her fighting any more with her
father, and the only way she could see to honor that was to leave town.

She
didn't bring much with her to Chicago. She hadn't left much behind either since
she hadn't taken much from her marriage. This move was a new start in all ways.

After
talking things over with Mistress Charlie she felt better about her night at
the club as well. Things may have ended badly, but other than upsetting Simon,
she had no regrets.

Her
studio apartment in Boys Town was pretty run down, but she felt safe. It was
about as big as her family room back home. Her bed served as her couch. The
kitchen had a small island, but it was also the kitchen table and offered the
only counter space. The few things she did bring would easily fill her place.

The
best part was that it was all hers. No one would tell her what she needed to do
on her free time. She wouldn't have to worry about running into her ex every
time she left the house or about an inquisition from her father each evening at
dinner. Every decision was Janna's to make, and the town was all hers.