She watched as he turned off and re-set the alarm system. “Just for the front of the house. I’ll show you the back. I want you to know you’re always safe here. Come on through.”
He led her through a big, open living room with exposed wood beams, hardwood floors and large windows. Dark greens and brick reds accented the space. It was a very masculine space dominated by leather couches and deep club chairs. A large fireplace fronted with river rock took up most of one wall.
He opened up glass doors to a view that took her breath away. The large wooden deck overlooked a grassy lawn that sloped down to the lake’s edge. Pretty citronella candles hung on stands around the railing and furniture surrounded a sizeable, built-in outdoor grill.
The moon’s light reflected from the glassy surface of the lake, illuminating the whole yard. Hedges lined the boundary of his property and she saw little seating areas dotted here and there. Roses climbed the trunk of an oak and she smelled the star jasmine in the air.
“You’re full of surprises, aren’t you, Sheriff?”
“I’m glad you like it here. It’s an oasis for me. A place I can come home and leave all my work bullshit at the door. My family comes out and we barbecue and watch the sunset. It’s a good life.” He looked down into her face. “And now it’s better.”
He turned into her body and she rose to meet his kiss as he bent his head to hers. Cassie’s body melted into his embrace. Her heart beat in time with his, pounding reassuringly against her palm on his chest. After he broke the kiss, he murmured against her lips, “Would you like to take a walk in the moonlight with me?” She nodded, leaning down to kick off her sandals. The grass felt cool under her bare feet and his hand in hers felt anchoring and strong. “You’ve really built a place for yourself here, Shane. It’s beautiful. The inside and the outside.”
“I’m glad you like it. I really am.” And he was. Ridiculously so. That she approved made him happy. He realized he wanted her approval on the thing he cared about so much. His house was an extension of him and he’d worked hard on every last bit of it, had a hand in everything. He liked having her there with him. A lot.
“Wow, you even have a dock.” He chuckled. “I do. It’s more to jump off for swimming than for a boat. The lake isn’t that big or deep really.” “Do you sail?”
“I’ve done it from time to time. A friend of our family has a boat and I go out a few times a year with him. I take it you do? I can hear the affection in your voice.”
They stopped and she bent to pick up a stone from the rocky lakeshore and skipped it. “I used to. When we were first married, we lived in an apartment in Newport Beach. Not very far from the marina. We had a boat for a while but Terry didn’t like to sail and he sold it. I haven’t been in some years now.”
“Did you live near water too, then? I love hearing the sound of the shoreline, the water lapping against the rocks.”
“Our house was in the hills overlooking the ocean. I gave it to him after the divorce. I just wanted to be free of him. I didn’t care about the stuff.”
“Do you miss it? Your house?” She shook her head. “No. It was never mine anyway. He bought it. He decorated it. It was his. I was just another one of the things he owned.” Shane’s jaw clenched and unclenched. “I hate hearing you talk that way.”
“It’s the truth, Shane. For years I was a thing. An accessory and at times, not even a very good one according to him. I know he was wrong. But that’s what I was.” She shrugged. “I’m working to be more than that now.”
“You’re not an accessory to me. I just can’t wrap my head around it. How any man wouldn’t cherish you with every fiber of his being.”
“I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I hate that it’s this constant thing in my life.” She turned her body away from him and looked out at the water. “Damn it, I’m more than the poor battered wife. Fuck, I feel like I should wear a nametag or something. It’s why I didn’t want to tell anyone about it. That’s all you see. That’s all anyone sees.”
He moved to stand behind her, encircling her with his arms. “That’s not true, Cassie. It’s not all I see. It’s part of your past, yes. It goes into making you who you are now—a strong woman. A survivor. You’re smart, and competent and the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. Inside and out, I like you, Cassie. You. Not your past, not your zip code, but
you.
But I can’t deny, and neither can you, that what happened to you shaped who you are now. Just like the things that happened to me shaped me. We don’t have to talk about it any more tonight. There are far better things to do with our time.”
He brushed his lips over her neck where it met her shoulder and she lost the rigidity in her spine, relaxing into him. He felt good behind her. The water from the lake lapped against her toes over and over with the beat of her heart.
Silence stretched as he held her, kissed her neck and shoulders with soft heat. She asked herself if she could have sex with this man and her body agreed right off and soon enough, her mind agreed. It was something she’d been thinking over a lot. But she wasn’t afraid of him. She trusted him to take care with her and if she was going to live beyond those years with Terry, she had to move on with her life. Build a future and that included sex. Or she hoped it would.
“Stay right here. I’ll be back in a minute.” Her back felt cool when he moved away and jogged up to the house, disappearing inside.
She wandered up a path lined with sweet smelling flowers and bushes. His steps sounded against the decking and down onto the grass. He hesitated and she called out softly, “I’m here on the path.”
“Ah.” He showed up around the corner and held up a blanket. “I thought we could lay under the stars. What do you think?” “Lay?” One corner of her mouth quirked up.
“Well, uh, if you wanted to just lay, that would be fine. I’d be happy to hold you in my arms as we looked up at the stars. On the other hand, I’d be even happier to see your skin bathed in moonlight as I made love to you. I want you, Cassie. But I want you to be okay with that. I don’t want you to feel rushed or pressured.”
“Hmm. Well, why don’t you spread it out in this little area here, it’s totally walled off by the plants and no one could see us. You know, if we got up to something no one should see.”
Moving around her body, he spread the blanket out and held his hand out to her. Taking a deep breath, her brain and her body in accord, she grabbed his hand and let him draw her down onto the blanket.
On her back, she looked up into his face and smiled. A lock of his hair slid forward rakishly. She could tell he was being very careful but she was sick of it.
She put her hands on his shoulders. “Shane, don’t be so careful with me. I won’t break. I can’t guarantee something weird won’t trigger something but I don’t want this thing between us to be so fragile. I wasn’t always this fucked up.”
A look so tender slid across his face it made her draw breath quickly. His mouth covered hers in an intense kiss. The kind of kiss that makes a woman forget to breathe.
Cassie’s hands pulled at his shirt, as she gave in to her sudden need to feel his bare skin. Breaking the kiss quickly, he sat up and pulled the shirt off over his head and she put a hand on his chest to stay him.
Impossibly broad shoulders led to a wide chest, covered with just the right amount of the same brown-blond hair on his head. The hand that had stayed him slid over the hard muscle of his pecs down to his flat, hard nipple and he sucked in a breath but remained still as she looked her fill and explored him with her hands.
Muscled arms held his upper body away from her as she traced down from his nipple to each ridge of his abdomen. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Dear sweet heaven, the man had a real six pack.
A trembling fingertip traced around his navel and south along the trail of hair that she was sure led to his cock but his jeans were in the way. She tapped the button. “This is a problem.”
“I want to look at you, too.” His voice was strangled. In it she heard how much control it took to hold himself still for her inspection. She licked suddenly dry lips. “I…”
He watched her as he slid off the skirt and looked at her long legs and panties. Boy was she glad she wore the pair of pretty ones she’d bought a few weeks back on a whim.
“Your pants.” She tipped her chin in his direction.
What should have been awkward for any regular person, he made graceful as he shimmied out of his jeans while still sitting. One eyebrow rose as he touched the waistband of his boxers, asking how far she wanted to go. At her nod he pulled them off and she widened her eyes and blinked a few times.
“Wow.” He stopped for a moment and then laughed. “Oh, Cassie, you’re so good for me.”
“Shane, you’re beautiful. So big and muscled and, damn, I’m drowning in testosterone. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a naked man who was more masculine and handsome. Hell, any man more masculine and handsome.”
“Thank you. Now, I’m at a bit of a disadvantage here, Cassie. I’m buck naked and you are not.”
Oh how she wished she didn’t have fourteen scars on her upper back and neck from where Terry had stabbed her with the broken handle from the hammer he’d used to break her fingers. Wished she had a body she could show him without reservation. But her breasts weren’t as high as they’d been when she was in her twenties and Terry always complained about the roundness of her thighs and the swell of her belly. She already felt overexposed with her skirt off, she really didn’t know how she’d hide the scars if she didn’t have her shirt on.
“That’s some internal dialog you’ve got going on in there, darlin’.” He tapped her forehead. “You want to stop?”
“No.” She shook her head vehemently and to underline that, she took his cock in her fist and pumped. He was so hard she felt him throb in her palm.
He hissed. “Holy shit!” “Do you have condoms?”
“Condoms? Plural? My, you’re ambitious. I like that.” He leaned over and pulled three foil packets out of the pocket of his pants and held them up for her to see. “Three. I know, it’s very hopeful of me.”
She laughed and slid her thumb over the head of his cock, smearing his come there.
“Okay, hold it back there, Ace. You keep doing that and we won’t be needing a condom. I’ll come in your fist like a freshman in the backseat of a Chevy and be so embarrassed I won’t be able to face you in the morning. I keep telling you, we have time, Cassie. Let’s take it. And yet, you still have your shirt on.”
She laid back and pulled each button on the front of the camisole free and the two halves of the eyelet cotton slid apart, exposing her bra and her belly. She figured she’d leave it on and between that, the dark and her hair, her scars would stay hidden. And to further distract him, she hooked her thumbs in the waist of her panties and shimmied out of them.
“Now, where were we?” Eyes locked with his, she watched as his gaze broke free and slid down her body. The intensity of his attention had her drawing her knees together and trying to cover her breasts with her hands.
Shane moved to stop her, placing his hands over hers. “Shhh, don’t hide yourself from me. Cassie, you’re amazing. More beautiful than I could have imagined.” Letting go of her hands, his fingertips grazed over the curve of each breast, popping the catch on the bra. “I want to see your breasts bathed in moonlight.”
The tenderness of his words, of his touch, moved her deeply. Tears stung the back of her eyes. How long had it been since a man had touched her that way?
“Cassie? Honey?” She shook her head, lips pressed together to hold back the tears. Her hands came up to put his on her again.
Leaning down he laid a kiss on her chest, just over her heart. “I hate seeing you in pain. We can stop, go inside, watch a movie on the couch. I can wait for you. You’re worth it.”
The tears slipped free then. “Shane, I don’t want you to stop. I promise. I’m sorry I’m such a mess.” “You’re not a mess, Cassie. You’re working to get past something terrible. Why are you crying?” “It’s nothing bad. Please, I can’t talk about it right now. Just touch me again. Make love to me. I need you.”
His lips found her cheeks and he kissed away the salt of her tears and then back down to her chest. His movements were slow and gentle, giving her the time and space to stop him if she needed to.
Shane gloried in the beauty of her body, in the fragile shell that lay around her heart. But she kept on and didn’t quit. His woman was everything. He stilled as he insinuated himself between her thighs.
The enormity of that statement hit him. She was his woman. She’d held his attention from the first moment but each time he thought of her it built in him, attention became attraction became something more intense.
There was no fear though. The shadow of worry passed. The moment when he’d run out the door on Maggie became clear to him. It wasn’t that they could have had this thing he shared with Cassie. It was that Maggie wasn’t Cassie. His heart knew what he needed and it was the woman stretched beneath him.
He wanted to heal every hurt she’d ever endured. Wanted to let her know that even broken women deserved passion and love. And suddenly his need for her was so intense that his hands shook with it.