Taking Charge (37 page)

“You either go back to that locker room and clear up
the mess, or you’re off the team—permanently,” Robyn said.

“You can’t do that. Eddie’ll be back in a few weeks
and, as soon as he is, I’ll be reinstated as captain.”

“You think he’s going to have you back as captain in
this state? You could barely skate out there tonight,” Robyn yelled
at him.

“You don’t have enough players to drop me,” Brad
reminded her smugly.

“Grant’s preparing signing on papers for Jason,”
Robyn snapped back.

“You have got to be kidding! You’d have him on the
team over me?” Brad exclaimed, swaying unsteadily on his feet.

“Yes,” Robyn answered.

“Why are you doing this to me?” Brad asked.

The tone of his voice had changed. Suddenly, he
looked hopeless, the anger gone, his whole body language showing
deflation.

“I’m not doing anything to you,” Robyn said with a
swallow.

She hated seeing him like this. He was a friend, she
had known him forever. But this part of him she didn’t recognize.
She had never seen him act this way. She didn’t know the anger or
the vulnerability. Was this what he’d been like when Michelle left
him and he went off the rails?

“Yes, you are, just like you used to. Always wanting
to be in charge, always thinking you’re right, telling me what to
do, not doing what you should have been doing,” Brad continued, his
eyes glazing over.

It was as if he wasn’t really there. The body looked
like Brad, but it was as if it was just an empty shell and the real
him was absent from the room.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I think you
should go home and sober up,” Robyn said, turning her back on
him.

“You and Cole, you won’t last,” Brad called out to
her.

“Yeah? Why’s that?” Robyn asked, spinning back to
face him.

“Because he isn’t me and you belong with me. When
you’ve gotten over this temporary infatuation, you’ll realize
that,” Brad said with a determined nod.

Robyn gritted her teeth tight together and approached
him. Any pity she felt was fast evaporating.

“I wouldn’t be with you even if you had season
tickets at the Red Wings and pit passes at the monster trucks. Do
you understand that?” Robyn said.

“I don’t believe you,” Brad said almost
defiantly.

“I want you out. I want you off of this team and I
want you out of my life,” Robyn yelled as Cole, Grant, Bob, Pam,
and the twins hurried into the bar.

“Is everything alright here?” Grant asked, stepping
up to Robyn’s side ahead of anyone else.

“Is everything alright here? Are you crazy? Your
son’s been given my place on the team!” Brad exclaimed, staring at
Grant with wild eyes.

“Listen, Brad, I know things aren’t going so well for
you right now, but we need you on the team, of course we do. We can
talk about things and…” Grant started.

“No, we can’t talk about things. I’ve made my
decision…I want him gone, now. I want him out of the bar and out of
the arena—gone,” Robyn interrupted savagely.

“Robyn!” Pam remarked, shocked at the bitterness in
Robyn’s voice.

“D’you know, Cole? D’you know this marriage stuff has
nothing to do with you? You could be anyone. This is the way Robyn
deals with things. She gets scared by something, something that
happens, maybe a feeling, and then she throws herself headlong into
something else, anything else, any project she can. Like the hockey
team. Like the roadhouse. Like Eddie. Like you. She knows how she
feels about me and it frightens her. It frightens her enough to
make out with someone else,” Brad announced to the room.

“You need to leave. You need to go drink some
coffee,” Cole said.

“Truth hurt?” Brad said with a sneer.

“Right, we’re done here. Ely, some assistance
please,” Bob called to the steward as he took hold of one of Brad’s
arms.

“All right! I’m going. But it doesn’t change things
and you’ll see that, Robyn! You’ll see that!” Brad told her,
looking straight at her.

“Come on, let’s get you a beer,” Cole said, putting
his arm around Robyn and shielding her away from Brad.

“She doesn’t love you!” Brad called as he was led
away. “She doesn’t know how to!”

She hadn’t spoken the whole drive and they were
nearing home. After Brad had been escorted from the arena, she had
drank only four bottles of Bud Light with the team and had turned
down Henrik’s offer of shots. It wasn’t like her to turn down the
offer of alcohol, and if she didn’t break out the chips and dip
when they got home, he was going to be really concerned.

“What he said back there isn’t true, you know,” she
said as if reading his mind.

“I know.”

“I do distract myself with projects, I do like to be
busy, but that has nothing to do with how I feel about you. You
know that, right?” Robyn continued, turning to look over at
him.

“Sure.”

“I didn’t recognize him tonight. He looked at me like
he loved me and hated me all at the same time. I didn’t see Brad, I
didn’t know who that was,” she continued.

“If we hadn’t of met, do you think you would have…”
Cole started.

“No. No, Cole. I don’t feel that way about him. When
we were together before, it was just friends making out every now
and then, it wasn’t anything even close to serious—not for me,
anyways,” Robyn explained.

“D’you think maybe we should postpone the wedding?”
Cole asked.

He looked across the car at her.

“You mean cancel, don’t you? You mean call it off,”
Robyn said with an exasperated sigh.

“No, I don’t mean that, I mean postpone it, put it
off for a while, until this business with your police case is over
at least.”

“You think Brad’s right, you think if I have time,
I’ll change my mind or move on to another project,” Robyn said,
tears forming at the rim of her eyes.

“Robyn, I don’t think that.”

“Then what?!”

“Look, the clinic in England did keep the information
from the abortion. They’re emailing me on Monday,” Cole informed
her.

She saw him look for her reaction and she gave it to
him. She stiffened and balled her fingers into fists then,
stretched her fingers out and balled them up again. Turning her
head she looked out of the window.

“Whoever did that to me took away everything I had.
They took away my whole life, all my good memories, and they made
me leave everything I loved behind. If that was Jason, has he paid
enough? If it wasn’t Jason, what do I do then? I’ve spent the whole
time in England thinking I knew who it was, detesting his image,
reliving what happened in my dreams. What if I’ve been hating the
wrong man?” Robyn asked him.

“That’s why we’re going to find out,” Cole reassured
her.

“Maybe I leaned on Brad too much after it happened.
Maybe I gave him the wrong impression about my feelings for him. It
seems like I’ve ruined his whole life as well. I’ve been in England
sleeping with Clive to try and rid myself of the ugly memory of it
all, and Brad’s been pining over something I didn’t think we ever
had. What if that’s what I’m going to do to you—to us. Maybe I was
right all along and I can’t have a real relationship—ever,” Robyn
blurted out.

“No, because we’re having a real relationship, right
here, right now,” Cole told her.

“Are we? Or are we both freefalling toward each other
because we don’t know what else to do?”

She looked over at Cole, checking to see if his
expression showed his feelings.

He pulled the car into the drive of his home and
turned off the engine.

“Get out,” he said, opening the door of the Mustang
and stepping out of it.

She unfastened her seat belt and followed him out of
the car.

He leapt up onto the hood and pulled himself up onto
the roof, where he lay down facing the sky.

When Robyn lay down beside him, he pointed up to the
stars.

“One day, whether we like it or not, you and me are
going to be up there, just like Mitzy, Old Man Harrison, and Don
Mitchell Ryan—my dad,” he said, drawing a loop between the stars
with his finger.

“You think people are going to be climbing up on the
roofs of cars choosing stars for us in fifty odd years’ time?” she
asked.

“Our grandkids, maybe?” he suggested, turning to
her.

“What are you saying to me?”

“Robyn, life’s too short to worry about everything,
you know…what people say, what people do, what people think is
right or wrong. Some people in life just aren’t going to like what
you do. Some people are going to be with you your whole life long
and others are going to fall by the wayside for one reason or
another. I want to be there your whole life long,” Cole told
her.

“But how do you know that already?” she asked him,
her voice wavering with emotion.

“Because somehow someone wrote it up there…and I
believe them,” Cole said, indicating the dark blanket above
them.

Robyn let out an audible cry and burrowed her head
into his shoulder. He turned slightly and pulled her into him,
protectively stroking her hair away from her face.

“I do need looking after and I eat far too many
pickles. I’m going to end up with an ulcer if I don’t get help,”
Robyn blubbered, raising her head to look at him.

“I know that, you need me.”

Robyn shook her head and wiped her eyes with the
sleeve of her sweatshirt.

“No, I don’t need you, Cole, I want you,” she said
with conviction.

“I’ve spent so long trying to honor my dad and please
my mom and find a cure for everything, I lost sight of who I was
and what I wanted. You’ve helped me get that back. Yes, what I do
is important, but it isn’t everything,” he said.

“There’s ice hockey and turkey shoots and the Old
Country Buffet,” Robyn reminded him.

“And there’s Robyn Matthers,” he said, kissing
her.

When they’d made love that night, she’d cried and
clung to him and begged him to never let her go. She trusted him
enough to show him her vulnerability and that meant so much. She
was sharing everything with him, her past, her fears, and her
insecurities behind the tough exterior she’d built up. This
relationship that had sprung itself on them was a new beginning for
them both in such different ways. But they were embarking on it
together, full of hope, full of love, and full of anticipation for
whatever was to come.

Monday arrived before she knew it. Most of Sunday
had been spent at the roadhouse. Mickey, Sarah, Wes, Wade, Henrik,
and Jon had come in for lunch and no one had seen or heard from
Brad. Mickey had called him a “prize wiener,” Sarah had sheepishly
said nothing, and Henrik had suggested a night out after the next
game. Jason and Grant had also come in for dinner. They had hung
around the entrance awkwardly wondering whether they should be
there or not until Robyn had greeted them with menus and a rundown
of the day’s specials. She had made Nancy serve them.

Now Robyn waited outside the mall in the rain for
Sarah, Nancy, and Cole’s mother, Martha. Cole had gone to pick her
up from Battle Creek International and was due at the mall any
second.

When Robyn saw Sarah, she waved at her
frantically.

“Now listen! You’ve spent years walking round these
wedding dress shops, have you seen anything good? Because I’ve been
having nightmares about pearls and lace and frills and butterflies
and giant marshmallows. If Pam gets her way, I’m going to be
trussed up in some massive dress and everyone’s going to think I’m
a hot air balloon!” Robyn shrieked.

“Where is Pam?” Sarah asked.

“Oh, she’s started already. You can hardly see her
arms. She’s loaded them up with frocks like some sort of freaking
human clothes horse.”

“Hey, sugar. Sorry I’m late, your dad had to give me
a blow by blow account of last night’s Red Wings game. I swear he
makes some of it up. I mean, there can’t really be a fight a
minute, can there?” Nancy remarked as she joined them.

“Oh, there was last night—it was pure filth,” Robyn
replied.

“Is Cole’s mom coming?” Sarah asked.

“Yeah, she should be here any minute,” Robyn said,
looking at her watch.

“What’s she like? I mean, am I going to have to speak
proper?” Nancy asked.

“Properly,” Robyn corrected.

“Whatever.”

“She’s nice. I mean, how could she not be nice? She’s
Cole’s mom.”

“Yeah, but ain’t she also the mom of the brother that
did the dirty with his girlfriend?” Nancy asked, chomping on her
gum.

“We don’t talk about that. Not today, not ever,”
Robyn warned her.

“The brother coming to the wedding?” Nancy wanted to
know.

“Shh, there’s Cole’s car. She’s coming. Oh, and by
the way, she has a vacuuming obsession,” Robyn said, waving her
hands in a bid to silence Nancy.

“Stand up straight, shoulders back,” Nancy whispered
to Sarah.

“Was she in the Army?” Sarah asked.

“Hi, Martha. How was your flight?” Robyn asked as she
greeted her.

“Bombay mix. Cole’s given me a bottle of water,”
Martha said, showing it to her.

“Martha, this is my best friend, Sarah, she’s getting
married, too. My Aunty Pam is already in the store neck deep in
dresses, and this is my almost step-mom, Nancy,” Robyn introduced
with a swallow of nerves.

Martha was wearing a floral shift dress and matching
jacket; Nancy was wearing jeans with open zips across the knees and
a hoodie with the word “Cougar” written across it.

“Pleased to meet you,” Nancy said first, moving the
gum to the side of her mouth.

“And you,” Martha said, smiling at both Nancy and
Sarah.

“Nancy helps me at Eddie’s Roadhouse. Eddie’s my dad,
I told you about him. He’s had his operation, everything went well.
Nancy’s so particular, you know, about cleanliness, particularly
vacuuming,” Robyn stated.