Taking Chances (13 page)

“That was taken two weeks before the accident,” Spencer said.

“I’m sorry.” I replied, knowing that this was probably hard for him.

“I wanted to take it down for a while, but I couldn’t do it,” he replied. “Come on, let’s go.”

Spencer led me up the white staircase, to the second floor hallway. Several doors lined the length. We walked up to the first door on the left, and he opened it for me.

The room was large and painted a dark blue. It had a wooden dresser, a bed covered with blue blankets, and a desk covered with papers. A small chandelier hung from the ceiling. 

“This was one of the guest rooms, but Uncle Justin uses it now.” Spencer explained. He took me to the next door. That room was much different. It was cherry red, with white polka dots, and instead of a chandelier, there was a white fan with lights. That room had a white-posted bed with red sheets, a white desk, and a dresser.

“This is the second guest room.”

Spencer showed me two, white, tile bathrooms before showing me a room that made both him and me cry.

“This was my parent’s room,” he whispered.

The room was probably the biggest bedroom I’d ever seen. It was enormous with light gold painted walls. A tall mirror trimmed in white stood next to a matching dresser. Next to the dresser was a king-sized bed with gold and white pillows and blankets. There was also a big white door that led into a walk-in closet.

I could hear Spencer sigh, and I could tell that he was starting to cry. I felt tears welling up in my eyes, too. I wrapped my arms around him. He whispered, “They would have loved you, you know.”

I thought about how much it was hurting him. He loved his parents and his older brother. They had died before I even met him. I wish that I could have been there to help him get through it.

After a few minutes of silent remembrance for Mr. and Mrs. Stevenson, we headed on to Spencer’s brother’s room.

It was light green with a bunch of Save The Planet posters. He had pictures of animals from different countries that he must have sponsored. The wooden bed was covered with green sheets, and there was a walk-in closet. We didn’t stay in there for too long; we headed on to the second to last room.

“This is the music room,” Spencer told me.

The room was light blue with black music notes painted on the wall. The room was very big, big enough to hold the most beautiful baby grand piano I’d ever seen. There was the piano, some music stands, some guitars on stands and a table in the room. I had a feeling that I would like that room. It seemed peaceful, a place to think and relax. On the opposite wall, a glass door led out to the second story balcony. The whole house was like a fairytale.

“I like to come here when I write my songs and poetry,” Spencer told me.

“Do you play?” I asked, looking at the guitars and the piano.

“Yeah. My mom taught me when I was little. Here, I’ll play for you.” He took my hand again and let me sit on the piano bench with him while he played the most amazing song I had ever heard. He sang along to the piano, too. The song was about love, and how you can’t let it tear you apart, you can only let it boost you up. I think I started crying a little.

“I wrote that song a couple of years ago,” he told me.

“Wait, you wrote that?” I asked, astounded.

“Yes.”

“That’s amazing.” I sniffled. He saw that I was crying, and held me close to him.

“You’ve boosted me up. I was always grieving about my family, and then you came into my life, and I’ve been happy since,” he whispered in my ear.

“We have one more room left. Do you want to see it?” he asked.

“Okay.”

He led me out of the music room, and into the last door.

“This is my room,” he said. My eyes widened at the beauty of the room in front of me.

His room had red walls and the furniture, like his parents’ room, was all white, a stark contrast to the deep red walls. And like the other bedrooms, his also had a walk-in closet.

“Do you like it?” he asked.

All I could do was nod. Spencer chuckled.

“Here.” He led me over to his bed. We sat down, and he said, “Thank you so much, Sydney.”

“For what?” I wondered.

“For being the best girlfriend I could ever ask for. I’ve dated girls before who were stupid, and wouldn’t even commit to me. They would go off and cheat on me with different guys. I couldn’t stand them, and now you’re here, and I feel so alive. You’re so nice, and kind, and beautiful. I’m in love with you, and I’ve never felt this way about anyone else before. You’ve brightened my life, and I thank you for that. I love you, Sydney.” He bent his head down and kissed me.

I kissed him back with hope. Hope that we would be together years from then, and we would look back on that day, and see how perfect we were for each other. He said that he had never felt that way about anyone else before. I hadn’t either. I hadn’t even considered a boyfriend in Chicago, and when I came to Shabbona and saw Spencer for the first time, I had this new feeling inside of me, the feeling that he was the one. Jacquie told me that Spencer was completely in love with me, and I felt the same way. I didn’t ever want to leave him, and I didn’t have to. I wanted to stay in Spencer’s house with him and never let him go. It felt like home there, it felt like it was my home, just like Spencer was mine, and no one could ever take him away from me. He was my love, my Spencer.

Spencer worried that my parents might get mad if I was there too late, so I went home unwillingly. Michael screamed at me as soon as I walked in the door about leaving the house without his permission. It seemed as if I was living two different lives: the girl who helped Spencer overcome his troubled past with his family, just like I had always wanted to do, and then the girl who couldn’t even help or protect herself….

Chapter 11

CHANCES

I realized that time had gone by faster than I thought as I woke up shivering on a cold morning in January. My life hadn’t changed much. I still worked at Lakeview with Matt, though Spencer gave him looks every time Matt and I were together.

The Creative Writing class had done a coffee shop open mic up in DeKalb at The House Cafe, and we would be doing the Poetry Slam the following week. I was completely excited for that. I didn’t care if I won or not, I just wanted a chance to read some of my poems for Spencer and others to hear.

I had spent Christmas Eve night over at Aunt Megan’s house in downtown Shabbona with Lillian and Rebecca, and Christmas day over at Spencer’s with him and his Uncle Justin. We exchanged gifts; he had gotten me so much more than I deserved.

Maddie and Michael were still together, and I couldn’t stand it. I’d seen Maddie sitting in the living room, crying as Michael yelled at her for not taking charge of her children. I wanted to help her, but there was nothing else I could do to get Michael away.

The day of the Poetry Slam came around, and I was more nervous than happy. The whole school gathered in the gym and listened to the Creative Writing classes perform. It was suddenly my turn to perform “Love”, one of the poems I had written for Spencer.

I performed the poem, and everyone started applauding. I would have performed “Take a Chance”, a poem that I had started writing in September, but I still wasn’t done with it. After the Poetry Slam, people told me that they loved my poem because even though it was deep, it was short, sweet, and to the point. The students loved Spencer’s poems as well. 

That night, after work with Matt, I spent the night at Spencer’s. His Uncle Justin said he didn't mind. It was a Friday, so I didn’t have to be at work until ten the next morning. I wanted to spend the night in Spencer’s arms. We became closer each day, and yet I still became weaker and weaker from Michael’s abuse. Even though it wasn’t very often, it was more hurtful than usual.

Matt’s actions around me began to change. He treated me more like a very close friend, than someone who I just started hanging out with again. For some reason, it was like he forgot that I had Spencer in my life, or he was just ignoring that fact. Though Spencer had somehow seen this behavior coming on, I had never thought of Matt as a boyfriend. He was a good friend, sure, but nothing more.

On Saturday morning, I really didn’t want to go to work. I would have rather been spending the time with Spencer or one of my friends, but I was only working from ten to one, so I figured I wouldn’t have to deal with Matt for long.

“So, what are you doing tonight?” Matt asked as we were stocking new books around twelve-thirty.

“Probably hanging out with Spencer,” I replied, happily.

“Oh. Cool. Well, maybe we could hang out again sometime.” Matt stepped closer to me, trapping me up against the bookshelves as he put his hands on either side of me.

“We just hung out last week, remember? That party where you finally introduced me to all of your other friends?” I reminded him.

He smiled, “Yeah, but I meant maybe something more.”

“Um…Matt, you’re a great friend, really, but I have a boyfriend. I—”

“You know I’d be better for you than Stevenson.” He came even closer to me.

“Actually, Spencer and I are great together. What’s wrong with just being friends, Matt?” I asked.

“I think we could be more. Sure, we’re great friends. We always have been, but I’ve always felt something more than that. Remember when we were little and we used to tell my mom we were married, and she thought it was so cute that we were that…close.” His dark eyes sparkled with excitement.

“Matt, I think we’re better off as friends.” I was about to tell him to get off of me when I heard Spencer’s voice behind me.

“Sydney?” I turned to see him standing there, leaning up against the bookshelves.

“Spence, hey, what are you doing here?” I asked excitedly as Matt backed away with a nervous look on his face.

“I just wanted to see if you wanted to go out to lunch after you were done working, but I guess I caught you and your boss at the wrong time. I’m wondering now what he was doing trapping you up against the shelves.” He didn’t look at me; he stared an evil glare towards Matt who backed away slowly.

“Hey,” Matt said trying to act tough. “I was just talking to her, that’s all. I asked her if she wanted to hang out sometime as friends, but she is the one acting so damn stubborn.”

“Hey!” I argued.

“Syd, let me take care of this.” Spencer looked back at me and gave me a compassionate look.

“So, Matt,” Spencer stepped forward and Matt held his ground, “Do you know what to do if a girl says she’s not interested? You back off.” He said this with an edge to his voice that I’d never heard before. It was protective. “Especially if she’s already in a relationship.” He took another step forward, and Matt’s expression became nervous.

“Spencer,” I warned, not wanting it to turn into a fight. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll leave if it happens again.”

Spencer turned around, looked at me, and sighed. He walked back towards me and wrapped his arm around my waist. “You’d better watch it before I catch you again, Matt. You may be her friend, but I won’t let you walk all over her,” he warned. I turned him around and we walked away. Thankfully, my shift was over anyway, so it wasn’t like I was leaving early. Matt sighed unhappily.

It was silent until I got out to my car. Spencer had parked near me, so he just stayed by my car for a minute.

“I’ll meet you at your house?” I asked. “I can cook something.”

“All right,” Spencer sighed. “But I’ll do the cooking. See you in a bit.”

“Bye,” We got into our cars without any physical contact with each other. I didn’t even know what I was feeling. Should I have been mad that my boyfriend almost started a fistfight with my boss in a public place? Should I have felt safe? Protected because Spencer had made the effort to protect me when he had attempted to beat up my friend? I didn’t know.

When I got to Spencer’s, he was already there, inside the kitchen.

He was cooking cheese ravioli, my favorite meal. “You can go ahead and sit down, I’m almost done,” he said when I tried to help him finish. “Thank you anyway.”

I was silent as I sat at the dining room table. Eight chairs sat around the table, but only one or two had been needed for well over a year. I wondered what it was like for him to be alone those first few months. Surely his Uncle Justin stayed with him then, didn’t he?

“Cheese ravioli, and garlic bread. Your favorite,” Spencer said as he sat down next to me.

“Thank you,” I replied.

Spencer sighed. “Sydney, I’m sorry.”

I was silent, not sure what to say.

“It was stupid of me to fight with him, but I couldn’t take it. He—”

“I know you were trying to protect me,” I told him. “And I’m thankful for that. I was just worried that one of you was going to get hurt.” I felt a tear roll down my eye and suddenly realized what I felt. Worry. I was afraid of Spencer getting hurt. Seeing him tower over Matt reminded me of Michael towering over me. I was scared.

“Sydney, sweetheart,” Spencer stroked my face lightly with his hand. “I’m sorry. I won’t ever scare you like that again.”

I looked up at him with tear-filled eyes. I didn’t want him hurt. I couldn’t bear to see him cut and bruised like I was. I didn’t want any fights. I wanted them to be over forever.

Spencer opened his arms for me, and I sat on his lap as he held me in his arms. His arms wrapped tightly around my waist, not wanting to let go. I gasped lightly and winced as his arm pressed against a bruise on my torso.

“What’s wrong?” he asked concerned, loosening his grip.

I shook my head, “Nothing. Just please, don’t ever, ever try to start a fight with Matt again. I hate fights. I know you’re my boyfriend, and you have a right to be protective, but he’s my friend, Spencer.”

“I won’t, I promise.” He wiped away a tear and kissed my cheek.

Chapter 12

LOST HOPE

February flew by, and it was March before I knew it. Spencer and I had been together for almost seven months, and I couldn’t believe how lucky I was to have him.