Taken in Hand (17 page)

would garner them results, and he wouldn’t have to cry off.

God, he hoped so. Adam couldn’t be any colder if he were

standing in a freezer.

Before he could even work himself into or away from a

pity party, his cell rang again.

“Yeah, Johansen , what have you got?”

“A fucking puzzle.”

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“Excuse me.”

“That lead you handed us is going nowhere, thanks to

a pile of misinformation. Clarence Rubin did not die a couple

of months ago. Try two years, and if he was a closet fag,

there’s not a sign, not even a hint of it.”

Chad flinched at Johansen’s insulting use of the word

fag
, glad again he wasn’t in a face to face conversation.

Johansen went on. “I don’t know how you expect me to

give you any kind of an accurate rundown with inaccurate

information.”

“So Adam misunderstood. We’ve got a meeting tonight.

I’ll get the preacher off to the side and try to get some more

details.”

“Make sure. I’ve wasted enough of my time chasing

down dead ends.”

“That’s what you get paid for, asshole. If the father’s

dead, find out what you can from the mother.”

“She’s on a fucking vacation and can’t be reached, and

watch your fucking mouth. I don’t have to take any shit off of

you.”

“I don’t have to take any off you, either, just because

you keep coming up blank.”

For the second time, he disconnected without a good-

bye. The case was putting them all on edge. If they didn’t get

a break soon they might end up beating the shit out of each

other.

* * * *

Keeping his distance from Adam, Chad asked, “So how

did you arrange it so soon?”

“I traded nights with a colleague, telling him I needed

my regular night to prepare for a class.”

“He won’t think that’s suspicious?”

“No, we’ve traded nights before. Put your jock strap on

under your jeans, the red one, I think. That will prevent the

need for you to do more than strip when we return for

drinks.”

“I’m not comfortable with the idea of prancing around

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in front of your friends with only my cock and balls covered.”

“I told you what to expect.”

“You also told me I set limits. I’m not going down to

only a scrap of cloth covering my balls in front of strangers.”

“Oh, for God’s sake, leave your shirt on then,

unbuttoned.”

Chad walked off without agreeing. He paused for a

split second when he could have sworn he heard the word,

“Big baby…” trailing after him. With the bad memories
that

word brought up, he ignored it, but he could feel his face

burning as he put the red jock on, pulling a pair of the new

jeans Adam bought over it. He looked for the longest shirt

among the new ones Adam bought. He might or might not

strip, depending on how totally pissed off he got before they

got back here. Really not caring anymore, he suspected he

might be defiant or at least behaving spitefully.

The drive to the church was silent. Neither man spoke.

Once they reached the large room with chairs arranged in a

circle, Chad sat down beside Adam. He listened with

sympathy to the miserable comments of the young men,

some no more than teenagers, kicked out of their homes for

their sexual preferences. Hearing their stories, he was almost

glad he’d never been brave enough to admit to his early

fascination, though he hoped his parents wouldn’t have been

that cold-hearted and cruel. He’d find out soon enough when

he broke the news to them.

After an hour and a half the group broke up. Adam

moved off to speak to his friend, Benjamin. Chad took

advantage of the break by joining the pastor at the

refreshment table.

“Nice group,” he commented.

“Some very fine young men,” Jason agreed.

“Do you know them personally or have you just met

them here?”

“Met them here. Word has gone out on the street that

they’re welcome, though the basement is running out of

room for cots. I’m working on building a group home where

they will have a safe place to live until they can find jobs and

support themselves. We’re raising money for it now, actually.

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Any donation for the cause would be greatly appreciated.”

“Sorry, I don’t have my checkbook with me.” That guy

at the club had been right. The preacher didn’t miss a

chance to put the squeeze on somebody. “Have you lived

here all your life?”

“No, only the last few years steadily. My father moved

us around a lot as children. I guess that made me a nomad. I

had some difficulty deciding where I wanted settle. I finished

my theology courses here and made enough friends and

contacts that I’ve stayed.”

“From what I hear you were lucky to find affordable

living.”

“Not at all. My mother has property here. I’ve taken

advantage of that.”

“Oh, that’s right. Adam mentioned you lived with your

brother.”

“Yes.”

A pained expression said more than words on that

subject, but Chad didn’t let up. “I think he said you’d lost

your father a couple of months ago. My condolences.”

“Thank you. His loss was extremely difficult for me. We

had been estranged since I was a child. I had never given up

on reconciliation.”

Adam hadn’t made a mistake on the time. Since it was

pretty unlikely the preacher did, Chad suspected the man

might be lying. Why he would puzzled him.

Jason sighed dramatically. “My brother never wished

to reconnect. I must say as disappointing as my failure to

reach him each time he’s here, it’s always a relief when he

leaves.”

Chad only nodded at that statement, still determined

to dig. “If I remember right, Adam said the problem—”

Adam gripped Chad by the elbow. “It’s time to leave.”

“I was just—”

“Now,” he ordered, his fingers pressing against his

arm. “My friends are waiting.”

Torn between obeying the way he should to keep in

character and wanting more information, Chad dropped his

eyes. The objective for the evening was to convince any

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watchers they were a happy couple. “Yes, Sir. I’m coming.”

Adam turned on his heel. Chad followed, hating every

fucking minute of it. He didn’t speak until they were in the

privacy of the car and driving down the road. Adam’s

continuing coolness toward him had Chad frustrated and

jittery, not to mention totally pissed off, shoving the job to

the back of his mind. He wasn’t given the opportunity to find

out anything new anyway, not with Adam playing big, bad

Dom without listening to what he’d tried to tell him.

After the huge thing that had happened between them

last night, how could Adam not talk to him about it? Didn’t

he realize how freaked out he was? How badly he wanted

reassurances from him, wanted to talk about it? It was like a

big pink elephant between them, and the thing was about to

crowd him right out of the car. Had the son of a bitch just

used
him as a booty call? His face burned at the idea, and he

gripped his knees until his knuckles were white.

“What the hell is the hurry?” Chad asked.

“We were ready to leave.”

“Yeah,
you
may have been, but I needed to talk to that

preacher and get some details straight. This is an

investigation, you know. If you weren’t so worried about your

precious image, I might have found out something that

would help us pin these murders on that brother of his.”

“It’s my precious image you’re banking on to pull him

out in the open. Don’t forget that.”

“I doubt any one even noticed me moving over to talk

to the preacher until you made an issue of it.”

“They noticed, Chad. We always leave immediately to

avoid Rubin.” He barely paused to add, “Just because you

re-thought what happened last night is no reason—”

Chad twisted in the seat to face him and cut him off,

by exploding. “I re-thought it?” he shouted. “You’re the one

who turned into a fucking ice machine!”

“You made the excuse to pull away, and I only—”

“It wasn’t a fucking excuse! I jeopardized the entire

operation because of my attraction to you!”

“Stop shouting at me. I won’t tolerate that.”

“Fuck what you won’t tolerate! I’ll be your damned

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puppet in public, but you don’t tell me how to act in private!”

“Are you asking for punishment, Chad? Is that what

this is?”

“Yeah, like what? Another spanking like when I was

too out of my head to even know what was going on?”

“So you claim. Maybe the drug simply took away your

crippling inhibitions, and you were able to experience an

honest reaction for the first time in your life.”

Chad twisted around and flopped back in the seat. “I

wasn’t inhibited last night. That was as honest as I could

make it.”

Adam glanced at him and then quickly away. Chad

clamped his jaw shut. They drove for another block with

neither of them speaking until Adam finally broke the

silence. “I had no intentions of becoming involved with you.

You’re too inexperienced, volatile, obstinate…”

“Yeah, yeah, everything you hate.”

Adam continued as if not interrupted. “…unwilling to

even admit to who you really are.”

“I admitted to being gay!”

“Afraid to completely submit yourself…”

“I get it. You hate everything about me.”

“Shut up, Chad, and allow me to finish.” He waited

half a beat and when Chad didn’t respond, continued. “When

you said what you did this morning, I thought it was for the

best.”

By then Chad’s stomach was in a knot. His breathing

rate had kicked up to equal someone running a mile, and he

felt like a hand gripped him by the throat.

“I am, however, committed to this situation. I’ll do my

best and expect you to do the same.”

“Fine. Like I said, I’ll be your puppet in public, but not

in private.”

“Fine.”

“I fucking hate you,” he retorted, sounding like a child

and knowing it.

A long silence developed between them, and it was

becoming more and more awkward.

“I’m sorry you feel that way,” Adam said quietly.

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They rode silently for another block or two, the air

thick between them. Finally, in self-defense, Chad changed

the subject. “Rubin said again that his father died two

months ago, but records show it was two years ago. Why

would he lie about it?”

“For attention.”

“That was a pretty fast answer.”

“I’ve suspected for some time that Rubin is one of

those people who like to be the center of attention. He uses

sympathy to get it.”

Chad grunted. “The
poor me
ploy?”

“The woman you saw giving him attention after the

funeral wasn’t the only one who does, and you’ve seen how

the men at the meeting treat him, like a martyred saint.”

“What happened two months ago then?”

Adam shrugged. “Attention was waning possibly, that

and his brother showed up.”

“It keeps coming back to his brother.” He lapsed into

silence, mulling the possibilities over. “Has anyone else in

your
lifestyle
met the brother?”

“Not that I know of. I can ask this evening if I can work

it into the conversation, without arousing suspicion.”

“So everyone is still coming to your house?”

“Yes, they are. I have a couple of nice bottles of

Bordeaux…”

“Wine? Seriously?”

Adam gave him another irritated glance. “For God’s

sake, Chad, we all have to get to work in the morning. Yes,

wine
.” Adam glanced over at him. “We’ll have couple of

glasses and some of the cheese I left out on the counter.”

“Oh, how sophisticated of us,” he retorted,

remembering his anger. “I guess I’m the waitress.”

Appearing to not hear his sarcastic tone, Adam

nodded. “While everyone is settling in, and I’m opening the

wine, go to the kitchen and get the crystal cheese tray from

the cabinet by the sink. Arrange the cheese on the plate and

add some of the small crackers I left out too. Then bring out

the tray and offer it around. When you finish, leave it on the

coffee table and sit by me.”

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“When you say, ‘offer it around,’ I assume you mean