Taken (4 page)

             
“I'm sorry that happened to you mom but Liam is different.” I say, not sure if I am trying to convince myself or her.

             
“Maybe he is Addison but I want you to be prepared, just in case you're wrong.” She says, standing and walking towards me. She leans down placing a kiss to the top of my head. “I love you honey.” She says before walking away.

             
I want to call her back. I need to know what she thinks she saw in Liam. Is there some tell tale sign that I am missing or is she just grouping him in with her past? My mom's confession has left me even more anxious than before. Could I be making the same mistake that she made all those years ago?

             
I have no idea what the future will hold for me or what hurdles I will have to jump to get through it but one thing I do know without a doubt is that when I think of the future, I see Liam in it. No matter what anyone says, deep down I know that I will never love someone the way I love him. I will never crave someone the way I crave him or melt into someone's touch the way I do his. He owns me. Body, mind, and soul. I am his for the taking.

Chapter Five

              Getting back into work was so much more difficult than I expected it to be. I was looking forward to the distraction, something to take my mind off of the fact that I had been home for four days with no word from Liam. What I got instead, were days filled with thoughts of him. A knot had formed in the pit of my stomach the moment I stepped off the plane and has only gotten worse with each day that passes.

             
“Hey, you're home early.” Kristina says, as I walk in the door right after four thirty in the afternoon.

             
“There wasn't a whole lot going on at work today.” I shrug at my response, closing and locking the door behind me before making my way into the kitchen, throwing my keys and purse on the island. “How was your day?”

             
“Stay-cations aren't all they are cracked up to be.” She whines, pulling herself off the stool to grab a bottle of water from the fridge. “I thought I would enjoy the time away from work but honestly, I'm so bored I considered cutting it short.” She says, reclaiming her stool at the kitchen island. “At least it's the weekend now and you and I can catch up.”

             
“O-k-a-y.” I stretch out, getting the impression that she has something on her mind. “What's up?” I try to keep my voice casual but I'm sure Kristina doesn't miss my fidgeting, a sure tell sign that I am nervous or uneasy about something.

             
“So I know last Friday was a huge bomb to get dropped on you. I can't imagine it was easy finding out about Liam that way.” She dives right in not wasting time with easing into the conversation.

             
“No it wasn't but really, I'm fine. Can we talk about something else?” I try my luck but know as soon as the words are out that she is not going to let me off that easy. Kristina has the innate ability to read me like a book and even though I have been avoiding this conversation for days, I knew eventually she'd make me open up.

             
“You know how much I hate when you say you're fine when you clearly are not. I thought for sure you guys would have worked this out. So why is it you haven't?” She straightens her posture and pins her baby blues right on me.

             
“I just don't understand. He flies all the way to Vermont to tell me that he's in love with me and then nothing. No phone calls, no texts. He has made no effort to contact me all week. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. I knew what I was getting myself into the moment I gave into him. I knew I was setting myself up for this. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. Seems the only fool in this predicament is me.” I make my way into the living room and plop down on the oversized brown couch.

             
Kristina stands and makes her way over to me, taking a seat on the opposite end of the couch, positioning herself so that she is facing me. “Have you tried to contact him?”

             
“Absolutely not!” I exclaim, immediately regretting the defensiveness in my voice. “I mean, why would I? He's the one that lied to me, why should I be the one chasing after him? If he isn't going to put forth any effort than neither am I.” I pout, not missing how immature I sound but in this moment, not really caring a whole hell of a lot.

             
I'm hurt and bitter and if she expects me to feel anything but that, then she's lost her mind. Kristina thinks on my words for a moment before responding. “Don't be like that Addison. Maybe he's giving you time, space. I really think that you should call him. I'm sure that he would be thrilled to hear from you. For all you know he could be going out of his mind waiting for you to call and all the while you're hell bent on making him come to you.”

             
“Since when are you the cheerleader for Team Asshole?” I bite at her, instantly feeling the betrayal of her words wash over me. She's my friend. She should have my back right?

             
“Don't be stupid. I'm on your side here. I just hate seeing you like this when I know you can do something about it. Just call him.” She pleads.

             
“Why do you care so much?” The question is off my lips before I really have time to think it through.

             
“Because I hate seeing the people I care about hurting. Liam feels awful about how things happened. I know both of you would feel better if you could just get over yourselves.”

             
“You've spoken to him?” The shock in my voice is apparent and I am sure it is also written all over my face.

             
“We have spoken a couple times, yes. He's worried about you.” She doesn't seem to have any concern about how I would feel about this.

             
“Well forgive me, I didn't realize you two were so buddy buddy.” I spit. I'm so upset with her right now that even I, the queen of sugar coating, can't find a nice way to say this. I'm mad that she's siding with Liam. I'm jealous that she has been talking to him and I am down right hurt that she is just now telling me about it.

             
“Don't get all green monster on me Add. It's not like that. I like Liam, we're friends. And you're my friend. I just want you both to be happy.” She says, her voice soft and easy. “You left after
Bella Vita
. You didn't see what a wreck he was. Addison it was heartbreaking. He thought he had lost you forever but I convinced him not to give up that easily.”

             
“You.” I cut her off before she can continue. “You are the reason he came to Vermont!” The realization causes my head to spin. So it wasn't his idea after all. I feel like I have been punched in the stomach, all the air rushing from my lungs until I am struggling to do something as natural as breathe.

             
“I just told him where to find you. I didn't make him go. He loves you. Why else would he put forth the effort?” She says, her voice instantly defensive. “He asked me my opinion as a friend and I gave it to him. It was up to him how he handled it from there.”

             
“And the no contact? Wait it out until I am ready to reach out to him. Was that your suggestion too?” My words are coming out hot and fierce now and I am too pissed off to care that I am probably exploding on the wrong person. I know she means well but if I wanted to live with someone who meddles in my life, I would move back home with my mother.

             
“I just suggested he give you time to get your head right. I know you Addison, you need time to process. I was only trying to help.”

             
“Well it seems like your only concern is helping Liam. So I tell you what... You call him, you comfort him and tell him everything is going to be okay. I am done with this bullshit.” I say, standing in a huff and walking to the kitchen. I snatch my keys and purse off the counter before heading for the door.

             
“Addison, come on. Don't be like this.” Kristina calls from behind me, halting my steps. I slowly turn to face her doing my best to not let her see how much she has just hurt me.

             
“You are MY friend Kristina. I have been going through hell for days and you just sit on this information? I'm glad that Liam has someone to talk to, I really am but did it ever occur to you that the person he should be talking to is me? I have been going out of my fucking mind and I need you now more than ever. I need you to let me heal in my own way, in my own time and to support whatever decision I make, not push your own agenda on me. I may not be a genius but I am also not an idiot. You can spoon feed me your crap til you're blue in the face and I still won't buy a fucking word of it.  You didn't even call to check on me when I went home, is this why? You were too busy talking to him instead? He's gotten to you, admit it!”

             
“He hasn't gotten to me Addison. I was doing this for you! And for your information I did try to call you but you had your stupid phone off the entire time you were gone!” Given the rise in her voice along with the undeniable shake coming through her words, I know that I have taken it too far but my anger won't let me just back down like that.

             
“Well next time how about you mind your own fucking business!” I spit, slamming the door behind me.

             
I have no idea where I am heading and honestly I don't really care much at the moment. I just need to get the hell away from here. My hands are trembling as I start my car and ease it out of the parking spot before pulling into Friday evening traffic.

             
It doesn't take me long to realize that I probably overreacted. I have been so on edge with everything going on with Liam and what I need more than anything is friends to stand by me and not try to play middle man. I know her intentions are probably good but that doesn't calm the sting from her confession.

             
So I'm not an open book and yes, I tend to shut people out and live inside my head. That doesn't give anyone the right to meddle. This is my life we're talking about. It's not some soap opera playing out for other people's entertainment.

             
I want to turn the car around and go back. Tell her I'm sorry. Apologize for being such a selfish lousy friend to her, so wrapped up in my own life that I haven't even taken the time to ask her how things with Sam are going or how things with her parents are. But the wound is gaping open right now and tensions are running high. Going home would certainly only make things worse. So instead I drive. No real destination, no end in sight. Just me and the open road. In a life so out of control it feels good to be in the drivers seat. Feeling the car respond to my every command. Knowing that in this moment, my life is mine to control. Mine and mine alone.

Chapter Six

             
I drive for hours. Eventually I end up parking my car in a nearby garage and walking the streets in the heart of the city. Las Vegas is always a sight to take in but on the weekends the city really comes to life. The sidewalks are crowded with locals and tourists, all out for a Friday night on the town.

             
I keep my face tilted down, not caring much of who I am passing, only that I don't run into anyone. My anger over the issue with Kristina has subsided for the most part. I know I overreacted but that still doesn't give her the right to meddle, no matter how good her intentions. Deciding it's best to just avoid her for the time being, I wander aimlessly until finally ducking in to a small coffee shop.

             
It takes a moment for my eyes to adjust to the blazing florescent lights that overpower the small space that is made up of a few small tables. I make my way to the counter and order a latte before taking a seat at one of the tables by the window. I stare out the window numbly, running the events of the last week through my head.

             
I wish there was some magic spell, a wand I could wave that would just make all this disappear. I want to feel the way I felt last Friday morning. My body singing from a long night in Liam's arms, my stomach full of butterflies at the thought of seeing him again. I was happy, I mean truly happy for the first time in a very long time. And then my happiness came crashing down and shattered at my feet, pieces of glass cutting my flesh upon impact leaving gaping wounds that I can't seem to get to stop bleeding.

             
I want so badly to turn to Liam, to lose myself in his touch, to forget, even if for a moment. For all of this to just be some crazy dream. But life doesn't work that way. It doesn't operate by the fairy tale rules. There are no knights in shining armor, no magical fairies to grant your every wish and princes, well they don't exist. At least not in the way that they are portrayed on paper.

             
I was foolish to think that what Liam and I shared was something of one of the stories my mother read me as a child. Love like that, the all encompassing, unconditional love, well I'm not sure that kind of love even exists. Maybe in my books and movies it does but here, in real life, it's nothing but a fantasy. Something we chase after with no hope of ever really possessing.

             
“Sorry hon but we're closing soon.” The older lady that was working the counter says, pulling me from my daydream.

             
“I'm sorry, I must have lost track of time. Thank you again.” I say, standing and making my way towards the exit, tossing my cup in a near by trash can on my way out the door. The crowded sidewalks and streets have calmed a bit and I pull out my phone to check the time. Shit, it's one in the morning.

             
Deciding I need to head back home, I turn left heading in the direction of the parking garage where I left Moesha. Hopefully I waited long enough that Kristina will be in bed by the time I get there. I don't have the energy to fight with her and honestly I am embarrassed to face her after the way I acted.

             
I look up, taking in the scenery to ensure I am heading in the right direction. I still don't know the city that well and the last thing I want to do is get turned around and end up in a dark alley somewhere. There's a bookstore on the corner of the street where the parking garage is and I spot it across the street on my left. I make my way to the crosswalk, preparing to cross to the other side of the street when I stop dead in my tracks.

             
On the other side of the crosswalk is Liam and what's worse, he's not alone. His arm is linked with a woman's who is leaning into him, a large smile stretched across her face. I can't make her out that well but she appears to be very pretty, tall and thin, with blonde hair that barely reaches her shoulders. I stay rooted to the spot as I watch the interaction between the two of them, my breath coming in labored spurts. He reaches over and pats her hand that is resting on his arm and then faces forward, his face instantly dropping when he catches sight of me.

             
He leans in and whispers something to the woman, who glances at me and then back to Liam before nodding. She gives him a small kiss on the cheek and then heads back in the opposite direction. When I turn my attention back to Liam, he's walking towards me, determination in each step that he takes.

             
I can't move, can't react, so I just stand here until he reaches me. My mind is telling me to move but my body is refusing to respond. His eyes catch mine for only a fraction of a second before he grabs my arm and pulls me into him, his arms wrapping tightly around me. I don't want to hug him back, I know it's childish but I don't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing how good it feels to be in his arms. But alas my body betrays my mind and my arms wrap around his waist before I can take it back. I nuzzle my head into his chest and inhale his scent deeply. He smells amazing and it melts the ice around my heart a little.

             
“I've missed you.” He says into my hair, loosening his grip on me. He puts a few inches between us so that he can look at me.

             
“Yeah, I can tell.” I say, my mind finally catching up. “Sorry I didn't mean to interrupt your....ah.... date or whatever. I was just....” I manage to stutter out, spinning quickly on my heel to walk away.

             
“What?” He questions me intensely, grabbing my arm and spinning me back around to face him. “You mean Joyce? Seriously, you are crazy.” He chuckles lightly but then stops immediately catching my expression. Is that supposed to be funny?

             
“I may have a past but I have never been into the whole cougar/cub thing. Besides, I think if I slept with her my uncle would come back from his grave and kick my ass.” He says, smiling hesitantly.

             
“She's.....”

             
“Uncle's girlfriend, had been for years.” He cuts me off again. Relief floods through me but that isn’t all, humiliation rears its ugly head as well.

             
“I just assumed, I know I shouldn't. It's just.....”

             
“You haven't heard from me since Vermont and then you see me with a woman in the middle of the night, I get it. And I'm sorry you thought it was more. We catch up from time to time. She misses Ronnie and I'm the only thing she has left of him.” He says on a shrug.

             
“I can't imagine what it must have been like for her.” I say, my eyes finding the ground.

             
“Hey.” He says gently, reaching out to trail his fingertips down the side of my face. “Addison, look at me.” I hesitantly look up and regret it the moment I do. His hazel eyes are dark and hooded. “It's okay to open up to me. You don't have to act so tough all the time. I know I hurt you.”

             
“I can't.” I say, meeting his gaze once more and then dropping it back to my feet. “I can't trust you.”

             
“Addison, I would walk through fire for you if it meant I could hold you once I reached the end. You are all that matters to me. I will make this up to you.” He stops, placing his fingers under my chin to lift my face back up to look at him. “But you have to let me.” His words are almost pleading and a guilty feeling settles into the pit of my stomach.

             
“And confiding in my best friend, is that all part of the plan?” I cringe at my own pettiness but his face remains soft.

             
“I will talk to anyone I have to if it means that I have peace of mind that you are safe, that you're okay.” His electric eyes burn deeply into mine like he's reading my soul. “You have to know that. You have to know that you are all I think about. Addison, I'm crazy about you.”

             
“How would I know that when I don't even know you?” My words come out harsh. I hate feeling like this. Angry, betrayed, humiliated. I hate the person it makes me.

             
“You know me well enough. And if you will let me, you will know me. Unlike any person has ever known me before because with you......” He trails off, leaning forward to place a soft kiss across my lips.

             
The moment the contact is made, my body literally melts into him, like it knows that this is where I belong, though my stubbornness and need for independence seems to always cloud my mind from what my heart already knows. This is where I need to be, where I should be. In his arms, in his bed, in his heart. He is my home.

             
He pulls back, his eyes twinkling under the lights of the city. “Can I walk with you?” He asks. I don't speak, instead I just nod. He reaches down and takes my hand in his, entwining our fingers as we make our way across the street.

             
He doesn't say anything and neither do I, the silence stretching over us like a cloud, heavy and damp. It only takes about five minutes to reach my car and as much as I don't want to leave, I know that staying with him, jumping back into things too quickly, could eventually lead to a heartbreak that there is no coming back from. I have to take this slow, I have to protect my heart. Because if left in his hands again, I may not have a heart to take back next time.