Authors: Allison Van Diepen
I heard my name and looked up, jarred out of my thoughts. It was stupid to be walking the streets so late without paying attention to my surroundings.
Then I heard my name again and saw her. Jessica hurried across the street. “What are you doing here?”
“Here” meant one block from Chaos and a lot of blocks from home. I'd wandered here without thinking. I must've meant to come this way, closer to her.
“You're done for the night,” I said, stating the obvious.
“Of course.” She searched my eyes. “I called you twice today.”
“Sorry, I didn't get a chance to call you back.”
“Are you all right?”
“Yeah.” It was another lie. I hated lying to her.
She didn't buy it. “You're freezing. Let's go inside, okay? I could use some hot chocolate.”
I nodded and followed her to the Arab diner around the corner.
We ordered at the counter. As we waited, we didn't speak. My ears stung from the cold. The heat of the place started to thaw my skin but did nothing to melt the ice block inside me.
We settled into our seats. She waited for me to take a sip, then asked, “What's going on?”
I was about to give some lame excuse, but she held up her hand. “Don't lie to me, Darren. Please.”
I paused. I didn't want to lie.
“Tell me one thing,” she said. “Are
we
okay?”
“Yeah, we're okay.”
Until I get killed
, I didn't add. I could almost hear the gun going off inside my head.
“Does it have to do with work?” she asked.
I nodded. “You don't want to know, Jessica. Trust me. You should stop asking questions.”
Suddenly she grabbed my hand across the table. “Let's go.”
“Where we going?”
“Somewhere private.”
We caught a cab to her building and took the elevator to the top floor. There was a rec lounge that residents could use for birthday parties but rarely did. It was totally old-school, with faded flowery wallpaper. The pool table was scratched up, and the dart board didn't have any darts. But none of that mattered since the couches were soft.
The lounge was locked, but Jessica had a key, which she'd swiped from the landlord's office years ago. We'd been up here a few times before. Sometimes she brought her laptop and we watched movies. Or we made out. Or just sat here holding hands, listening to music with shared earbuds.
We sat down on the couch, and she turned to me. “Talk.”
Maybe I should. I'd told myself that lying to her was keeping her safe, but I wasn't so sure anymore. If the Vet ratted me out and Tony came after me, she could get caught in the crossfire. She deserved the truth so that she could decide for herself if being with me was worth the risk. And if she decided it wasn't, I couldn't blame her.
“All right.” I was finally done lying to her, and it was a relief. “I'm not in the game for the reasons you think. I've been informing to the cops.”
She stared at me. “You're working with the
cops
?”
“Yeah.” I knew she might judge me for it, but I still knew I could trust her. “We wanted the same thing: to see Diamond Tony locked up.”
“Why?”
“I lost two years of my life because of Tony. I was just a lookout, but the second we were busted, I got stuck with the package and the jail time.”
“You want revenge.”
“Yeah, but it's not just about that. Tony controls this whole neighborhood, and it's got to stop. It's like this . . . terror monarchy.”
“And I bought your story about wanting to make some money.” She shook her head. “I kept asking myself why you'd go back to the
business after two years in juvie. Now I know.” Suddenly her eyes went wide. “Oh my GodâTony didn't find out about you, did he?”
“No. Not yet.”
I told her about the Vet blackmailing me. As I spoke, tears formed in her eyes.
“You've got to run, Darren. It's too risky for you to stay here. The Vet could talk anytime.”
“There's no running. Not while I still have family here. Tony wouldn't hesitate to use them to get to me.”
“Can't the cops protect you?”
“I don't see how. If they arrest the Vet, he'll definitely talk.”
She put her face in her hands. “Why did you have to do this? It was a crazy idea.”
“I thought I could pull it off. Figured it was worth the risk. So many people have died because of Diamond Tony. Makes me sick that everybody thinks he's a hero.”
“I know. I feel the same way.” She hesitated. “There's something I never told you. My family swore me to secrecy, but it's been eating away at me.”
“You can tell me anything.”
“Diamond Tony killed Valerie.”
My mouth fell open. “
What?
I thought it was a car accident.”
“It was. Because she was high out of her mind.”
I couldn't believe it. Valerie, high out of her mind? She'd been a straight-A student, a totally together person.
“Valerie was wound up so tight, you know? Sometimes she'd smoke weed to relax. But Diamond Tony started giving away free hits of Diamond Dust to the stoners. She tried it once, and that was it. She was hooked.”
“Damn. I'm sorry, Jessica.” I hugged her.
“Her parents didn't know she was using. When the police told them there were drugs in her system, they didn't believe it.” She sighed. “But I knew. So did her brother. We'd finally convinced her to go to rehab. I was making phone calls to find a place that would take her. Then the accident happened.” She took a deep breath. “If I'd been able to check her in somewhere right away, she'd still be alive. Even if I'd taken her to a psych ward, just to get her off the streets . . .”
“You did everything you could.”
“It wasn't enough.”
“It's not your fault. Diamond Tony's the one who's responsible.”
“I know.” Her arms tightened around me. “I can't lose you, too, Darren. The Vet could be telling people he saw you with that cop. What are you going to do?”
“I'll figure it out.”
I had to. My life depended on it.
W
hite Chris lived on a tree-lined street with big old houses and Lexus SUVs. He thought of his neighborhood as quiet and boring, but I didn't see it that way. It would be perfect for Kiki. The park across the street was clean and had all the newest play equipment. You didn't see dealers on the corners or have to duck drive-bys. I planned to move my family here one day . . . if I didn't get myself killed first.
White Chris answered the door in baggy sweatpants and a wifebeater that showed off his scrawny arms. We went downstairs to shoot pool. His basement had shag carpets, comfy furniture, and hip-hop blaring from the Bose. His production equipment took
up half the room. It was all top of the line, thanks to his parents' deep pockets. They'd bought it for him when he was released from juvie to keep him out of trouble. I knew he'd have stayed out of trouble anyway.
“Thanks for letting me come over,” I said.
He tossed me a cue. “You didn't get out of the game, did you?”
I shook my head. “One of the fiends is blackmailing me. He saw me with that detective and figured it out. Said he'd put the word out if I didn't supply him. So I've been giving him a free hit every night.”
“That's fucked up.” He arranged the balls in the triangle. “You want to break?”
I did, slamming the white ball so hard it popped off the table.
He took his shot from the scratch line, sinking a solid in a side pocket. His next shot was off by an inch. “You don't have too many options.”
“I know.”
“You have to deal with him.”
“How? Give him a plane ticket to Vegas?” But I knew what he was going to say.
“Take him out.” White Chris chalked his cue. “I know it's the last thing you want to do. But it's you or him. Who do you want it to be?”
“Neither. I was thinking about paying him off.”
“That might work for a while.”
But it wouldn't solve the problem. We both knew that.
“Killing someone's Diamond Tony's MO, not mine,” I said. “Let's take it off the table.”
“You're so noble. I'm sure they'll think of something nice to write on your tombstone.” He took another shot, this time landing two solids in a row. His next shot sank a striped ball, so I took over.
“I'm not trying to be noble. I'm not even saying he doesn't deserve it. I just don't think I could kill him.”
“You could if you had no choice.”
“There has to be another way.”
“Then get someone else to do it. Some fiend who could never prove that you hired him.”
“Yeah, and he'd probably blackmail me too.”
“I'll break it down for you, bro. If you were on a battlefield and the Vet was holding up a machine gun, would you shoot? Because he's basically got a gun pointed at your head.”
I knew he was right. But still.
“Look, the Vet's playing with fire here. If he's a real war vet, he should know that. Kill or be killed.”
I was about to take another shot when it hit me. “I can handle him the way I handled Jongo.”
He raised his eyebrows. “You're gonna let him stab you?”
“No. I'll let him seal his own fate.”
T
hat night, the Vet walked up to me with that same jittery eagerness he'd had all week.
“Our arrangement is over,” I said, point-blank.
“Oh yeah? I wonder what Mr. Kingpin will say about that.”
The Vet had no idea that blackmailing me was putting his life at risk too. That was about to change.
“I'm going to make you a deal, Vet.”
He made a face. “Dinner and a movie? Me and you?”
“I'm only going to say this once, so listen up. If you bother me again, I'll tell Tony you gave me these.” I pulled two fake tens out
of my pocket and held them up. I'd gotten conned with them a few summers ago when I'd sold a kid a video game. I was glad I'd hung on to them. “Any guess what he'll do when he finds out you paid with counterfeits?”
The Vet looked startled.
“You can sing about me all you want, Vet. When I show these bills to Tony, you'll have a bullet in your head so fast that nothing you say will matter. That's if you're lucky. If you're not, it'll be a baseball bat instead of a bullet.”
He shrugged. “If I'm dead, you're dead. Now, where's my hit?”
“Not unless you've got money for me.”
He went up to Cam. “I want my hit!”
Cam glanced at me. I shook my head and held up the fake bills. “He tried to pay with counterfeits.”
“He's lying!” the Vet shouted. “I didn't give him nothing. I get my hits for free.”
Cam crossed his arms. “I never knew Darren was so generous.”
“It's because I know his secret.”
“Good for you,” Cam said. “Now get out of here.”
The Vet didn't move. “Darren is a snitch! A snitch!”
“Shut the fuck up,” I said, taking a step closer to him.
The Vet turned to Cam. “I bet you're in on it too! Did you snitch to that copâthe one who got killed?”
“I told you, get out of here.” Cam moved beside me.
The Vet lunged at Cam, grabbing at his coat pocket. Cam tried to dodge him but stumbled backward. With surprising speed, the Vet pounced, knocking him to the ground. I tried to pull the Vet off Cam, but he was thrashing like crazy.
Cam screamed. Then I saw the knife.
I slammed my foot into the Vet's side, partially dislodging him. The Vet bucked, slashing wildly. Cam grabbed the Vet's arm, and they fought for control of the knife.
Suddenly the Vet shrieked and fell to the ground.
Cam scrambled to his feet, clutching his shoulder. He gasped for breath. “Fuck! He stabbed me!”
I could see Cam was bleeding. “We need to get you to a hospital.”
Cam nodded, mouth twisting in pain. “What about him?”
Blood gushed from the Vet's throat. I bent over him, heard gurgling sounds. I took off my jacket, and pressed my hoodie against his neck.
“We'll call nine-one-one,” I said. “But we can't leave him at our corner.”
Cam pointed to a bus stop a few yards away. “We leave him over there.”
“Okay.” I took out my cell. My hand was shaking. White Chris's words came back to me.
It's you or him. Who do you want it to be?
There was a gasp. The Vet's arms had gone limp by his sides, and his eyes were blank. I'd seen that look before.
“He's dead.” I got up.
Cam went pale. “W-what are we gonna do? I didn't mean to kill him.”
I glanced down at the knife, the blood, trying to process what had just happened.
My mind switched into high gear. I scanned the area and saw no witnesses. “The alley. Hurry.”
I dragged the Vet's body into the alley. Cam helped with his good arm. He was breathing hard, swearing over and over.
“We call Vinny,” I said. “He'll know what to do.”
“Waitâwhat are we going to tell him?” Cam asked, his voice shaky. “I mean, it was self-defense. You saw it. Tony's not gonna blame me for this, right?”
“Of course not. I'll tell Vinny what happened and he'll explain it to Tony.” I tried to speak as calmly as possible, tried to dissolve Cam's panic even in the midst of my own. “The Vet started this, not us. He tried to pull one over on Tony. Here's the proof.” I took out the fake bills.
“Then he went all crazy and started calling you a snitch andâ”
Cam broke off, his face sobering. “Maybe we shouldn't mention that.”
“Yeah, there's no point.” I studied Cam. “You know that was bullshit, right?”