Take Me With You (20 page)

It wasn’t supposed to be this hard. We’ve been here like this before. Well, maybe not the exact same way, but we’ve coexisted before now and never had a problem with it. I’ve walked the halls of this school for an entire year completely able to block her out entirely, but today, that’s not happening.

I’m aware of her every time she’s near.

Catching her when she’s running her fingers through her hair, trying to tame it as every time a door opens around her or someone runs by, it seems to start flying all over the place. The way she purses her lips in the mirror she has hanging inside her locker, Charlotte and Eve doing the same thing, applying more of that bubble gum Chapstick I can’t seem to get enough of.

The half smiles she affords me when she catches me passing her in the hall even though I’m doing my best not to connect to her so people don’t catch on. The way her eyes go so light when she thinks she’s catching sight of me first.

This is what real torture feels like. Having the person you’re dating, are completely consumed by so close, yet unable to do a damn thing about it.

Now I know why Ms. Taylor likes teaching Romeo and Juliet so much. This is exactly what this feels like right now. I don’t exactly think I’m Romeo, but it’s all I can compare it to. Wanting my Juliet so bad but being unable to do anything publicly about it because of the shame that it will bring, except not to our families, but to our friends and the rest of the school.

I haven’t even been able to focus on the conversation going on around me. All I can think about is her and if she’s thinking about me like I am with her and if she hates this as much as I do. Not even sketching is helping and that normally cures everything.

I’m completely lost and I have no idea what to do in order to fix it.

“Eric.”

“Huh?” I ask, looking up at my name but not sure who said it.

“What’s going on with you?”

Belle. Of course it’s her.

“Nothing. Why?”

“You’ve been staring at the grass for the last thirty minutes and every time Kayden says something to you, it’s like you don’t even hear him. I’ve called your name a few times too and nothing.”

“Sorry.”

“You don’t have to be sorry, you just have to tell me what’s wrong.”

“Nothing’s wrong, just didn’t get much sleep last night so I’m zoning out a lot.”

It’s not a total lie. Normally I can sleep pretty much the entire night with no wakeups, but last night was impossible. I was too worked up about the way everything would go down today. I was too worked up over my girlfriend and making sure that her morning started great.

Not exactly something I can sit here and tell my best friend.

“Are your parents fighting again?”

“No. I just couldn’t get comfortable.”

Lying, I suck at it. Not only that but when I lie to anyone, it doesn’t matter who, it makes my chest hurt. My throat constricts and it doesn’t let up until the truth comes out. The more I sit here and lie about Amelia and what’s really going on with me, the worse it’s going to get.

I’m going to end up setting myself off and not have a way to get myself out of it.

“Eric,” she sighs and the knot in my throat gets even tighter hearing it. “Whatever you’re keeping in, you need to stop.”

“I’m not keeping anything in.”

“You’re lying to me. Your eyes are squinting.”

That’s another reason I don’t lie often, because I have a tell. A way for Belle or anyone who knows even the smallest bit about me to see right through me. It’s half the reason that Ms. T found out about the crush I had on Cadence a few months ago. My damn eye kept twitching and I was squinting at her.

“I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Is it because you think
I’m not gonna like what you have to say?”

Not wanting to let her know how right she is and not trusting my voice anymore not to give me away completely, I just shrug my shoulders and hope that she’ll leave me alone. Go back to talking to her boyfriend and ignoring me.

“It’s about Amy isn’t it?” Kayden speaks up and I know I’ve been caught. At least with Belle, her questions were basic enough that I could blow them off. Saying her name, I’m going to react. I always do.

“What about Amy?” Belle asks, turning toward Kayden and his eyes lock on mine and I lower my head.

“There’s something going on with her and Eric. Dillon noticed it a couple weeks ago, but since he seemed okay again, we both blew it off. Obviously he’s not as okay as we thought.”

“Kayden, just stop alright? You don’t know anything!”

I’ve never snapped at someone like this before but I can’t take it anymore. Between thinking about her so much that I can’t seem to focus on anything else and the third degree from these two, I’ve had about as much as I can take. It’s not gonna be long now before I start shaking from the pressure.

“What doesn’t Kayden know, Eric?” Belle asks, her voice low as she slips out of his arms and slides her way over to where
I’m sitting. “Tell me. I swear I won’t get mad.”

Her being this close to me, knowing how I feel about personal space, it’s unravelling me. I need to get out of here before I completely lose control. Attempting to move, her catching it, she reaches out until her hand is wrapped around mine the way it was the day she caught me breaking down in the hallway a few weeks ago.

“Eric…”

“Belle, I—I can’t.”

“Yes you can. You can tell me anything.”

“Not t—this.”

“Holy shit! I think I know what’s going on.”

Looking up at the same time as Belle, we both look across at Kayden and not wasting a second, he starts again, telling us exactly what he thinks.

“You’re in love with her.”

“In love with who? Wait, is this about the Amelia girl you were texting the other day?”

Belle is the nicest girl in the world, but just like I don’t have a clue sometimes, she’s the same way. She’s naïve. She has no idea that Amelia is Amy. Her mind hasn’t gotten that far yet even though with the look on Kayden’s face right now, his has.

“Baby, Amelia is Amy and Eric is in love with her.”

This is where I need to shake my head, open my mouth and tell him that he’s wrong. I’m not in love with Amelia and that even thinking that is crazy, but I can’t because it’s not a lie. It’s true.

I think I’m falling in love with her and denying it is getting too hard.

“I’m lost. How is that even possible? She’s been out for a month and I know she’s back but they haven’t even been around each other.”

“Tell me I’m wrong, Eric and I’ll drop it.”

“You’re not wrong.” I choke out, finally giving in and admitting the truth. “I don’t know if I love her but we’re together.”

Admitting it, letting it out even though I know the history the both of them have with her, it feels so good. The pain in my throat, how constricted it felt is starting to alleviate and I’m finally able to breathe easily again.

“You’re together? With Amy?”

“Amelia.”

“I’m so lost right now.”

Kayden reaches out and running his hand across Belle’s he motions for her to come back where he is and once she’s safely resting in his arms, he starts to explain.

“Amelia is her real name, Belle. She hasn’t gone by it for a really long time, but she told me about it once when we were dating.”

“And you’re dating her?” she asks, her eyes leaving Kayden’s and again leveled back on me, making all of this even more uncomfortable.

“Yeah.”

“For how long?”

“A little over a week.”

“Wow.”

“I’m sorry.”

I am sorry. I’m not sure why I felt the need to say it, but I mean it. I know how all of this is going to sound to her. I kept all of it from her, which I know is going to hurt her feelings because we’re supposed to be able to tell each other everything, but it’s also the person that hurt her.

What I feel for Amelia, I’m not sorry for feeling it, but I am sorry that it’s hurting my best friend because that’s the last thing I want to do.

“Don’t be.” She says and for the first time since all of this came out, her response is enough to get me to lift my head up off the ground and make eye contact.

“What?”

“I said, don’t be. You have nothing to be sorry for.”

Before I can question her again, Kayden laughs and I turn my attention toward him, wondering what he finds so funny.

“Expect the unexpected with this one Eric. If you don’t she’ll find a way to shock you every time.” he laughs again and I can’t help smiling.

He’s right. I should have seen this kind of reaction coming. Belle isn’t like anyone else. She doesn’t react to things the way everyone else does. She doesn’t even react the way I do. We might have some similarities, but we’re definitely different.

“You don’t hate me?”

“I could never hate you. Even when you stopped talking to me last fall, I didn’t hate you. I just missed you.”

“You do though, right?” I ask, turning to Kayden and when he shakes his head, agreeing with Belle, I’m even more surprised. I would have thought after the way he reacted when he warned me the other day, he would hate this for sure.

“I don’t get it, but nah man, I don’t hate you.”

“Eric?”

“Yeah?”

“If you two are together, where is she right now? Why aren’t the two of you together, like hanging out?”

“Belle baby, that’s pretty obvious.” Kayden says and I agree. It is pretty obvious and I thought she would know it better than anyone.  “The fallout from this is gonna be bad.”

Catching on, Belle nods in understanding, but after a few seconds of silence, she looks up and her eyes are filled with questions.

“I want to ask you how this happened, when it started and why you kept it from me, but all of that can wait. Eric, if you care about her and the two of you really want to be together, pretending isn’t going to make anything better.”

“I know.”

“Is she the one that wanted to pretend like the two of you weren’t together?”

“No.”

“It was you?”

As horrible as I feel admitting it, it’s the truth. I am the one that told her it would be better if we just acted like nothing happened and just found ways to meet up secretly if things got too hard.

“Yeah. I didn’t want to make things worse than they already are. Kayden and Dillon might not be helping them anymore, but they can still make our lives harder. I didn’t want that, for me or her.”

“Eric. I can’t believe I’m gonna say this because you know how I feel about her and everything she did to me, but you need to go get her.”

“And then what? Bring her around here where it’s just going to turn uncomfortable because of everything that happened? I’m not gonna do that to you, Belle.”

“It won’t be uncomfortable. I told you before, you’re safe with me and if you care about her, she’s safe here too.”

“Do what she says, Eric. This girl, man. She won’t let up until you do.” Kayden says, laughing again before placing a kiss on the top of her head, their affection no longer making me feel like a third wheel or even worse, disconnected.

After experiencing everything with Amelia over the last few weeks, the way they are with each other is the most natural thing in the world to me.

Doing what he says and sliding myself off the grass, I head for the school and where I know I’ll find Amy and the others. It’s time I do what Belle said and get my girlfriend and bring her back where she belongs.

No more hiding.

Chapter Twenty-One

Amelia

I’m so excited!

Daddy went away on a business trip two days ago, leaving me and Mommy here by ourselves. We’ve watched a bunch of super cool movies and even ate two cartons of ice cream all on our own. It’s the best night ever.

I’m starting to like when Daddy goes out of town. It means he won’t be visiting me late at night once Mommy goes to bed. I’m gonna get to turn my light off, so there’s no scary shadows on the walls and sleep.

Crawling into the bed and pulling the covers up and over my head, I turn the flashlight on and pull the book out from under my pillow. This is another thing I’m excited about. I get to read tonight and not be interrupted.

Hearing the click on my door, I freeze right when I’m about to turn a page, flipping the light off as quickly as I can. Mommy probably just wants to say goodnight since I left her sleeping on the couch after the last movie went off.

Sliding the blanket off, that’s not who I see standing in the doorway. Mommy’s definitely not that thick and she wouldn’t have anyone else with her because no one else is here.

There’s another shadow, a shorter one but it’s hard in the dark to see who it is.

“Angel Amelia, I brought a present home for you.”

I start shivering the minute I hear his voice. The slithery way it sounds like the snakes at the zoo, hissing out words that I know aren’t going to be anything good.

I don’t want his presents.

He moves closer to the bed as my eyes adjust to the dark and I can see all of him. He’s got all his clothes on and my heart flips when I see it. He never comes in like this anymore. Maybe he’s not going to touch me this time after all.

The other shadow moves forward, the light from the hallway shining in just enough to let me see who it is. It’s a little boy, a little shorter than me, with sandy blonde hair and big blue eyes. He’s the most adorable boy I’ve ever seen.

“Do you like your present,
angel?”

I don’t understand what he means. I don’t see a present. All I see is a boy, lit up, looking like my very own guardian angel. He’s here to save me, get me out of here and away from my daddy. He’s just gotta be.

If he’s here to save me though, why isn’t Daddy stopping him?

“Timothy, why don’t you crawl up onto the bed with Amelia?”

Doing as he says, the boy, my angel crawls up beside me on the bed. It’s only when he’s beside me that he starts doing the weirdest thing.

He reaches down and slips his socks off and tossing them on the floor beside my bed, he leans back and he starts sliding his pants down.

No. This isn’t right. He isn’t supposed to be taking his clothes off. He’s supposed to take my hand and pull me from here. Run away with me.

Save me.

It’s only when his shirt’s on the floor with the rest of his clothes that it starts to make sense. This boy. Timothy. He’s my present.

He climbs on top of me, pressing his boy parts into my nightgown before he presses his wet mouth down on mine, forcing his tongue past my frozen closed lips until I’m almost choking on it.

His hand comes up and pushes me completely down onto the bed and I struggle, trying to turn my head away so I don’t have to see what happens next. Closing my eyes tight, I focus on the sounds outside, the storm. I can hear the rain pelting against the windows hard and fast and I’d give anything to be out in it.

Timothy starts moaning, one name over and over, mine and my body shivers, the scream stuck in my throat, the only sound coming out a strangled sob as he pushes his boy part harder into me until I’m screaming so loud inside my head that I’m sure I’m about to pop my eardrums.

“Mmmmm.” He moans and my stomach turns over.

“Harder Timmy. She likes it better that way. She’ll stop struggling after that.”

Feeling sick but not wanting to show it and make him mad at me again, I force my mind far away, to a place where I’m safe and there’s nothing that get to me. Everything is bright and beautiful and when the rain falls it washes all of the dirty completely away.

I hear a grunt through the vision, like thunder in the sky, slamming through it and the brightness turning dark again as I’m brought back to my reality.

Timothy finishing and climbing under the blanket with me, his naked sweaty body pressed to mine, his breath hot on my body as he says the one name that I never want to hear again.

“Amelia.”

My own.

~*~*~

Oh God.

Timothy. Timmy.

Tim.

No. This can’t be right. This isn’t like all the other flashbacks because this one, there’s no way it can be real. It’s happening because he’s the one holding onto me when it hits, that’s all it is. I didn’t even know Tim before I came to Wexfield High, there’s no way he could have been the boy in my room.

My mind is playing tricks on me.

“Amelia.”

Turning my head the instant I hear my name, the sound like always, music to my ears, I feel Tim’s hand on my face, trying to drag me back, his lips still on my cheeks but wanting more.

No.

Eric can’t see this. He’s going to think I want it. I’ve gotta get away from Tim. I need to just get my leg up enough to knee him in the balls and I can get away and make this right.

Tim presses his lips down on mine again twisting his one leg around the one I’m trying to lift, and I hear it. The moan that escapes. My blood runs cold the second it happens, the moan from the vision still fresh and loud inside my head.

It’s real.

Tim is the boy my dad brought home as a present for me ten years ago.

Oh God.

Smacking against his chest, attempting to break the hold
that way since he’s now got his leg wrapped around the one I’m trying to move, he doesn’t even budge.

His body moves a couple of seconds later and with the hold he’s got on me, I can feel myself moving, off balance, crying out seconds before my body makes contact with the floor.

Pushing the pain down, I start sliding across the floor until my back is completely up against the locker, my body shaking, my heart pumping so fast that the sound of it is like a drum in my head.

Sensing the shadow over me, but not wanting to look up and see Tim’s eyes looking back at me, I turn my head away, bringing my hand up in an attempt to cover it, but not fast enough as the shadow stretches out until I can physically feel a hand wrapping around it.

“Amelia…are you okay?”

Eric.

Oh God. I need to tell him what I remembered. I need to tell him what Tim did to me when we were kids. What my dad made him do. He needs to know how dangerous he really is and he needs to get out of here.

I don’t care what Tim wants to do to me right now, but Eric, he can’t be a part of it. He’s my lifeline.

“E—Eric.” I stammer out and the minute I get his name out I feel his arm release off mine until he’s completely wrapped himself around me, pulling me into his chest, hugging me or trying to pull me up, I can’t be sure.

“I’ve got you. I’m gonna get you out of here.”

He starts to pull himself up but before he can get us both even halfway up from the floor, I’m knocked back down into the locker, my head smacking off and his body, it’s falling on top of me, the weight of him on my chest, making it extremely hard to breathe.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing, retard?” Tim yells and opening my eye just enough I make out his foot coming out and kicking Eric directly in the stomach, the impact making me suck in my breath.

It’s too late. He’s paying for trying to help me.

Tim keeps kicking him one after the other until the only sound in the hallway is the moan from Eric as he’s now fallen and laying in a heap on the floor in front of me.

I need to get up and stop this before Tim does any more, but the pain in my body from falling, the way my head is pounding from the hit off the locker, I can barely see past the spots in front of my eyes, let alone get up off the floor.

“Timmy stop!” I scream, attempting to take his attention away from Eric and get it put back on me where it belongs.

When I make him out, standing to the side of me, I call out again.

“I knew this little shit needed to pay. Funny how he thinks he’s some kind of hero.” Tim spits out, his voice full of venom before bending down to where Eric’s now limp body is crouched and pushing him over until he’s completely flat against the ground. “You got a thing for my girl, Carmen?”

The way he claims me as his turns my stomach. It’s wrong. I don’t belong to him. I never did. I want to scream out and tell him that I belong to the boy that he just beat up, but I know the second I do, it’s going to make everything worse.

Eric’s already paid enough for caring about me, being with me. There’s no way I’m gonna make him have to deal with even more.

“S—she’s m—mine.”

The minute I hear the words, spoken not by the guy that a few seconds ago called me his, but by Eric, the tears, the buildup of pain and fear pushing past the surface, start falling down my face, one after the other until I can’t see anything anymore, but shadows of the people around me.

Forcing myself forward, needing to put myself in Tim’s path, block him from doing anything else, needing to save Eric the way he tried to do with me, I feel a pair of arms around me and I’m being lifted up into the air.

Struggling against them, I hear the whispered voice of someone that I never thought I would ever hear again. The last person I ever thought would do anything to help me.

“I’ve got you.”

Dillon.

Eric

My head is killing me and
I’m pretty sure Tim kicked a hole straight through me with the way my body seems to be hurting all over. With the amount of kicks I took to the stomach, all while he was yelling at me about needing to pay and Amelia being his, I’m surprised I’m even breathing at all.

It wasn’t supposed to happen like this.

When Belle and Kayden told me to go get her, I was just supposed to walk into the school, right up to her and her friends and pull her away. Show the entire school what she means to me, who she is to me and that was it. We could go back out where the others were sitting and everything would be alright.

Seeing Tim’s lips on hers the minute she came into view, it turned me inside out. At first it hurt. I thought that she was kissing him back with the way she was leaning into him, but when I said her name and her head turned, I saw the terror on her face even though I couldn’t make it all out.

Shoving into him, it was supposed to be enough. I wanted to get her away from him, grab her and get out of there. With as often as I got pushed around and picked on since I moved here, I knew how to move fast and I was more than willing to do it for her, but I never got my chance.

I moved as quickly as I could in order to get to her, but no
t quick enough to catch her before she fell. That happening, it cost me the quick getaway I needed.

I’m not a fighter. I don’t know how and even if I did, I would never want too. I guess that’s why I’m such an easy target for the guys on the football team, because I’m the weaker one that refuses to fight back. I just take whatever it is they’re gonna do to me in order to get it over with. When Dillon went off with Cadence, it stopped, so I thought I was safe again.

I was wrong.

Before Tim leveled me with the kicks and started screaming at me, I saw her eyes start to fade, the hit she took to the head obviously a lot worse than I thought. I wanted her to close her eyes because I didn’t want her to see what he was going to do to me. She’s been through enough.

When she screamed out to him, I knew what she was doing but I couldn’t move, so it was a wasted attempt, at least until she did it again. He turned his attention away, but instead of trying to get up and get out of there the way I’m pretty sure she wanted me too, I laid there until he was finally pulled completely away from the both of us.

Kayden and Dillon.

They stopped it. Kayden dealing first with Tim, laying him out in order to give him time to get to me and Dillon grabbing Amelia and getting her out of there. I saw him reach her and pull her up but everything after that happened too quickly for me to catch. One second she was there and the next she was gone and just like every time we’re not with each other, I swear it feels like she took all of me with her.

I’m moving slowly, painfully and not at all the way I want to be. I’m like an empty shell, unable to feel anything but the emptiness in my chest and the pain from everything Tim did to me.

He called her his girl. He said that Amelia was his.

He’s exactly what Belle called him last fall. Nothing more than a Neanderthal, but even knowing it, I couldn’t let him believe she was his. Not when she’s mine, which in the end only made me look like just as much of a Neanderthal as he is.

I didn’t mean it the way it came out, but the idea was right. Amelia is her own person, she belongs to herself, but she’s my girlfriend. I couldn’t stand hearing it any other way.