Take Me in the Dark (4 page)

“My bra…” I massage his shoulders, trying to think. “Fuck.”

“You’re speaking in tongues, Laura.” He steps back with a cocky smile as I moan.

Before I can think of a witty comeback, he slips my shirt over my head. When it’s gone, my bra sides down my arms and onto the floor.

Now it’s my turn to give him a cocky smile. From the awe-struck look on his face, I know I don’t need to think of a witty comeback to come out on top.

His chest heaves. “Laura,” he whispers with wide eyes.

“You like what you see?” I meant for my words to sound sophisticated and arrogant, but my voice trips mid-sentence, ruining the affect.

“More than like.” He looks into my eyes, his expression reverent. “You’re beautiful.”

I don’t have time to process the words, or even to understand how they make me feel. Something fragile and beautiful blooms inside me. Something about his honest expression and the honest look in his eyes—maybe it’s the fact that I can even see his eyes.

I don’t have time to comprehend the feeling. He grabs the small of my back and pulls me to him. His lips crash over mine. I’m unable to think, unable to do anything as grabs the back of my head, pulling my head closer. I grab his hair, breathing hard. His teeth graze my bottom lip and the corner of my mouth as he kisses me.

He pushes me up against the wall and hoists me up. I wrap my legs around his torso.

Don’t let other men touch you.

I grab him like I need him to breathe. As if my salvation were buried deep inside him, and I could bind that salvation to me with my hands and suck it from his body with my lips. He allows me to drain him—to take him completely. There is nothing I could ask for that he wouldn’t give me.

Don’t let other men touch you.

My shadow lover’s voice rings a little louder in my mind. Cold flashes over my body, accompanied by the feelings of emptiness and abandonment. I don’t want to feel like that anymore. I don’t want to be chained by it. Especially not when
he
left me. If I can’t move on, at least I can de-sanctify that memory. I can bury it beneath David’s touch—a man I can see and possess.

I kiss David harder. Clutch him harder. His biceps strain against my nails. He moans my name and I trace my finger down his perfect torso to his pants.

I fumble with the button. It’s impossible to pop it off when he’s pushing himself against me, holding us both up while I grind against him. “Now, David.”

He doesn’t seem to hear. His lips are moving against my throat. He’s holding me as if he’s already inside me.

I bite his ear. “David.”

He looks up, eyes foggy with passion, pupils dilated. He looks half-mad like that. Intoxicated. I guess that makes two of us. I glance down quickly and bite my lip.

He twists left and one of my legs slides down his until it hits the floor. My other is still wrapped around him. His muscles flex as he reaches for his pants, ripping open the button. My eyes don’t leave his hand as he pulls down his zipper.

My breath catches. Holy shit he’s huge!

I swallow. “Um…hi David.”

I hear a low masculine chuckle from above. “Did you just say hello to my junk?”

I squint up at him, ignoring my burning cheeks. “Did you just refer to your thingie as junk?”

“Thingie,” he repeats, giving me a lopsided grin. “I like that more than junk.”

He tilts up my head and kisses my mouth. I forget my embarrassment, forget almost anything. His hands are strong. I’ve never noticed just how strong before. Being held by him feels like heaven.

His thumbs fan over my cheeks, down my neck. The tip of his cock brushes against my belly. I roll my hips forward, feeling the length of him through my pants. His thumbs loop through the top of my pants, sliding their way down to the button.

Oh my god, this is really happening
.

He holds me up, kissing my neck and cheeks blindly as he carries me to the bed. His movements are jerky because his pants are still around his calves. I don’t mind. It just makes that delicious cock bump against my stomach. He throws me down and pins me, his bare thighs sliding over mine as his pants slide off his legs.

He remains above me, arms strong and eyes dark with lust. I can’t believe how beautiful his body is in the light. I place my palm flat on his warm skin. Instinctively, his muscles flex and my hands retract as if they’re claws.

He doesn’t flinch as I scratch him. Instead, he bows his head and kisses my knuckles. “What’s wrong?”

My heartbeat quickens with panic.
Nothing is wrong
, I want to say, but I can’t. Suddenly, I feel as if something
is
wrong.

Don’t let other men touch you
.

I feel his length mid-thigh, twitching and agonizingly long. The room spins.

Don’t let other men touch you
.

“Laura.” He grabs my chin, direction my vision to him. “What is it?”

My legs tremble. His grip no longer feels warm. It’s hot. Scalding. Intolerable.

“Kiss me David,” I demand through clenched teeth.

He pulls back, eyes wide with shock and something else—something I don’t want to see.

“Now.” I grab his head and bring it down to mine, clashing my teeth into his, busting my lip. He sucks in a sharp breath. Maybe I busted his too. It doesn’t matter.

His hands find my shoulders. He presses down hard as he yanks his lips from mine. “Stop. We don’t have to do anything.”

A metallic taste stings my tongue as it slides between my lips. “I want to.”

“Do you really?” He leans closer, eyes narrowing so intensely on mine that every cell in my body screams to look away. I don’t. Somehow, I hold my ground.

“Yes.” I can’t believe how certain I sound.

He sighs and bows his head. The tendons in his throat tighten before he swallows. “I’m sorry, Laura.”

“What are you talking about?”

“This. It was too fast.”

“Too fast? You said yourself it wasn’t.”

“For me it isn’t. For you though…” he looks up. Sadness tinges his expression. “I want you to feel something other than shame when you come to me.”

Maybe the only intimacy I’ve ever known has been a form of shame.
I can’t tell him that. It’s too shameful to even think it. He’s probably right and all this happened too fast, but something about that upsets me. “It was too fast with him, too,” I say.

“No it wasn’t. He was a mystery you wanted to unravel. It’s the opposite with me. I feel like every time you touch me, you’re trying to forget me.”

I can’t say anything to that. The tightness in my throat is back. The blurriness of my vision is back. He’s still above me—warm and beautiful and perfect. And though he’s looking into my eyes and my hands are on his skin, I feel alone.

“It’s alright,” David whispers, running his fingers over my cheek. “I said I would be anything for you, and I meant it. If you want to fall, Laura, hold me closer; let me fall with you.”

I hold his cheek. It’s such a simple gesture, and yet it can mean so much—it can make me feel so much. I bring the my hand to the back of his head, drawing him down next to me. I curl into him and, for some reason, feel as if I’ve just lost something precious that I never even had.

We lie like that, with the tussled sheets around our ankles even though it’s cold and every inch of my back and legs are covered with goosebumps, for hours. The golden light darkens to orange. Against my cheek, his heart beats slowly. It calms me.

My stomach growls.

David props himself up on his elbow and raises his eyebrows. “What was that?”

“Uh…” I curl my knees to my stomach and wrap my arms around my chest, suddenly aware of how naked I am. Well, not how naked I am. I mean, I’m totally naked and…

“Laura?” David prompts.

I bite my lip. I can’t look at him. “It’s nothing.”

“Nothing?”

“Yeah. Nothing.”

He waits a beat before answering. “You’re hungry.”

“Uh, not like super hungry but I’m okay.”

He frowns. “What the hell does that mean?”

“It means…” Wait a second, what the hell does it mean? I bite my lip again, this time to keep myself from smiling. “You don’t have to feed me. I mean, go to any trouble. I mean,
don’t
go to any trouble.” Now I’m just babbling. Why won’t he stop looking at me with those sexy, smoldering dark eyes? And more importantly, why can’t I think when he does?

David looks at his ‘kitchen,’ a microwave, hot plate, mini fridge and sink, forlornly. “Trust me, it’s no trouble. Right now, I can offer you…peanut butter and crackers.”

I raise my eyebrows. Something feels off about this. “David, is that the only food you have here?”

“Not the only food. I’ve also got some old, broken spaghetti noodles and—oh hell I don’t know—a banana maybe?”

I reach for him. “You can’t survive on crackers and peanut butter.”

“I usually survive on overpriced cafeteria food. Oh, and coffee. I think that last thing is actually all I really need to survive.”

“David, that isn’t good.”

“Hey, nuts are good for you, and peanuts are nuts.”

“Actually, they’re legumes.”

“Well, that’s close enough to a nut. Plus, there’s some fat in there.”

I lean back, shaking my head. “Yeah. Really good, healthy fats.”

“Wait a second. Is all this criticism coming from the pancake queen?”

I laugh. “Hey butter has Vitamin K.”

“Well, at least we know you’ll never be Vitamin K deficient.” He grins and leans over, giving my butt a playful slap. “Or deficient in other areas.”

I don’t think it’s possible for my eyes to get any wider. “Did you just do what I think you did?”

“That depends. Did you think I just slapped your ass? Because if you only
think
I did, then I definitely didn’t slap it hard enough.”

I start to laugh. Really hard. “I don’t know if I like this new side of you.”

“That’s too bad,” he whispers huskily, “because I really like all these new sides of you.” His hand slides up my spine. “In fact, I have yet to see a side I don’t like.”

Heat surges through my body. I squeeze my thighs together. And even though he hasn’t come any closer, he feels so close. God, I need to keep myself together! “Peanut butter,” I whisper.

He groans and pushes himself up. “Peanut butter.” He reaches for his pants, but not before I catch a glimpse of something that, honestly, would be impossible to ignore.

“Um, David? How long have you been like that?”

He follows my gaze to his fully erect cock. “Damn. One moment, let me…” He yanks his pants up his legs. “Get rid of it.”

Only he hasn’t gotten rid of it. It pushes out the front of his pants, making a huge tepee.

And, even though I know I shouldn’t, I can’t stop staring.

David notices this, obviously, and buttons his jeans. Unfortunately, they’re still unzipped, and his dick, unwilling to be contained, pokes out long and hard and proud through the opening.

He swears and winces as he tries to zip it up. He fails. All he’s done is pushed his dick up higher towards the ceiling.

He laughs and his cock twitches. “I think this is the most embarrassing moment of my life.”

“I wouldn’t say that.”

He scrunches up his face adorably. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. I’d think if you had something…like, um, that…it would be impossible to get embarrassed if, you know, someone saw it.”

He goes still.

“I mean, it’s not like you have anything to be embarrassed of,” I continue hastily. I don’t think it’s possible for my cheeks to get any hotter. “And now I think I’ve thoroughly embarrassed myself.”

He turns to face me, inching closer. I can’t look away. I really wish I could. I’m only one step above those guys who stare at a girl’s cleavages instead of her face when she’s talking.

“You haven’t embarrassed yourself,” he says softly.

Actually, I’m not one step above one of those guys who stares at girls’ boobs while they’re talking, because David just started talking and I’m still looking at his amazing, large, perfect…

I turn my head, shutting my eyes. “Yes I have.”

The floorboards creak as he adjusts his weight. He’s probably wondering if he should come closer or not, but in the end he doesn’t move.“No, you haven’t. Not when you’re saying something that I’ve dreamed of hearing you say since the first time I saw you.”

I fist the sheets. “What do you mean?”

He looks off to the side as he gives me a small, private smile. “Unless I’m mistaken—and please, please,
please
forgive me if I am—you’re saying that you like my thingie, aren’t you?”

My throat tightens. I try to swallow, but can’t.

He takes a step back. “Nevermind. Peanut butter. You know, I’ve really worked up an appetite…” He winces. “Alright, forget what I said before. This is the most embarrassing moment of my—”

I grab his hand. “Wait.”

He stops.

“Maybe I could…help.”

Heat flashes in his eyes. “It only takes one person to make peanut butter and crackers.”

“That’s not what I’m talking about.”

His chest rises and falls quickly. The muscles in his arms tense. “What are you saying, Laura?”

Hearing my name makes my entire body shiver. “I could, um, touch it with my hand. I mean, I don’t think I’m ready yet for…other things…but I want to…” I squeeze my thighs together. Could this possibly get any more awkward? Did people even give handjobs anymore? “Nevermind. That probably sounds really lame.”

The bed dips as he sits next to me. “It isn’t lame.”

It’s a struggle to come up with the right words. “Yes it is. Handjobs are so…sixth grade.”

“Hey, do you know how awesome getting a handjob is for a guy in sixth grade?”

I smiled. “No.”

“Well neither do I because I never got one when I was in sixth grade, but if I had I’m pretty sure it would have been the best experience of my life. Hell, back then just thinking about it was fucking incredible.”

I give him a shaky smile. “Is that so?”

“Yeah, it’s so. And in case you don’t get what I’m saying, Laura, getting a handjob from you right now, for me at least, would be as incredible as getting one in sixth grade.”