Take Me Back (4 page)

Betrayal because I left and didn’t tell you first. Because you know that bringing back kitchen supplies was a very thin excuse. You know the real reason I went and I didn’t own up to it.

I lied to you.

I betrayed you.

I betrayed myself.

A sob cuts loose and others follow. Thick, hot tears of shame wrench from my eyes and seep into the pillow.

I don’t even know where to start to make this better. An apology would cover only a very little part of it, and I’m not sorry for wanting—needing—to help Ingrid return. This is her home. I can sense her presence here—in this tree house—more than anywhere else on the island.

Pushing the covers aside, I prop up on my elbow and reach for a tissue on the nightstand. As I’m drying my eyes I see it—a flash of light outside the window.

It’s probably just lightning, so I lie back down, but then I see it again and know it’s not lightning. Up on my feet, I pad to the window. Deep in the trees, there’s an orb of light bobbing through the brush.

I’m immediately reminded of MJ and Maddie telling me they saw an orb and thought it was a ghost. Ingrid’s ghost.

I lean forward until my nose hits the screen. Could it be her? Did I bring her back in boxes of old dishes and pots and pans?

The light nears, and I hear the crunch of dry leaves and mulch underfoot. Then you step out into the clearing and look up at the window. Right at me.

But you can’t see me in the darkness of the bedroom.

I watch you cross the lawn in long strides, scanning your flashlight back and forth. Your dark, brooding, handsome face catches the light and my stomach flutters. I’ll never not get butterflies when I see you. You affect me like no other man ever has or ever will.

When you disappear around the corner, I turn and wait until I hear you climb the stairs. I hold my breath and listen for the door to open. When it does, I hurry and climb back in bed, close my eyes, and pretend to be asleep.

I don’t know what to say to you right now.

You step into the doorway of the bedroom and stop. I can feel your eyes on me, staring at my back, probably contemplating waking me. I take deliberate, measured breaths like I’m asleep.

“Rachael,” you say. “I know you’re not asleep. I saw your shadow in the window.”

Oh damn, now I’ve not only lied to you, but I’m avoiding you by pretending to be asleep. “I’m awake.”

The opposite side of the bed sinks with your weight and I roll over to face you. My heart slams against my rib cage at the desperate look on your face. “Merrick, I’m s—”

“No.” You hold up a hand. “Rachael, I’m the one who’s sorry. I was pissed that you left without telling me, but I know why you did. It was my fault. You couldn’t tell me. I made you feel like you had to sneak around behind my back with this whole Ingrid thing.”

You lie down beside me and run your fingers through my hair. “I’m so sorry,” I say. “I should have told you. There’s no excuse for it.”

“Shh…” You pull me to you and hold me tight against your warm chest. You smell like laundry detergent and limes. I breathe deeply and feel myself relax. No more tears. You’re here. We’re going to be okay.

“I’ll never let you sleep here alone.” Your voice rumbles in my ear pressed to your chest. “This is
our
place. Not mine. Not yours. Ours.” You press your lips to the top of my head and nuzzle your nose in my hair.

I tangle my legs with yours, needing to be closer. “Thank you for being here. I didn’t know what to do. I thought I’d ruined everything… ruined us.”

You pull me back and take my face between your hands. Your dark, serious eyes probe mine. “There’s no ruining us. Don’t ever think that.”

My eyes well with tears because my emotions are overflowing. “I love you,” I whisper. “I’m sorry I’m not good at this. I’ve only had one other relationship…”

You laugh and wipe my tears with your thumbs. “There’s nobody worse at relationships than me. You know that. You’re our only hope.”

I laugh through my tears because I know you’re joking, even if you are terrible at relationships. “We’re in so much trouble.”

You kiss me, laughing with me as our lips meet.

Our laughter relieves me, and your kisses soon deepen, spurring a desire in me to be as close to you as possible. I shove my hands up your shirt, bunching the hem as I go. You tear it off over your head and do the same with my sleeveless slip of a nightgown.

Your hands run over my chest, pulling at my nipples, making electric currents of sensation zing between my legs. I hook my thumbs in the waistband of your basketball shorts and pull them down along with your boxer briefs. “Help me,” I say, panting between desperate kisses. “Kick them off.”

You do at the same time I tug my panties off and throw my leg over your hip. I grasp your cock. You’re so hard and I’m so needy. I guide your tip through my folds to my entrance.

“Jesus.” You moan and grasp my ass, pulling me into you so your head slides inside me. “You’re so wet for me.”

“I need you so much,” I whisper, licking and sucking your neck. “Please.”

You thrust into me, pushing yourself deep. I throw my head back in pleasure. It feels like heaven with you inside me, making love to me. I move with you. Our pace is slow. You grind your hips against mine and circle. I clench your shoulders and gasp. Nothing should feel this good.

Crickets sing outside the window and frogs call to their mates. I hear you sliding in and out of my wetness and, mingled with our pants and moans, it’s the sexiest sound I’ve ever heard. Us and Turtle Tear.

I want this to last forever.

Desire flames inside me, urging me to ride you faster, harder. “I need this.” I whimper against your lips and delve my tongue into your mouth.

You groan and grip my hips, pulling me up and down on your shaft with mindless abandon. My nipples graze against your chest, but I crave more. Pulling away from your mouth, I pull your head down and push my breast in your mouth. “Suck me. Oh, God, please. I’m so close.”

You draw on my nipple with your mouth and release it with a wet pop. “You need to be sucked somewhere else.” You push me onto my back, and your tongue makes its way down from my breasts to my stomach. When you slide out of me, I want to scream in frustration, but a moment later, your shoulders push my legs open wide and your mouth is parting me, your tongue lapping over my clit.

I grab your hair and arch up into you, ready to break apart. You hold my ass up, pressing your face into me, using your nose, your lips, the rasp of unshaven hair on your chin. Your thumb presses inside me and you suck my clit into your mouth. When you moan, the vibration is too much. I writhe against you as my orgasm swells inside me and bursts. Flashes of pleasure flicker behind my eyelids. I cry out, rocking against your mouth. Your thumb is replaced with your tongue inside me, and my pulsing muscles contract around it.

My limp legs fall to the bed on either side of you and your raise your head. “So beautiful,” you whisper, and place one last kiss on my overly sensitive pussy.

You work your way back up my body, and I wrap my legs around your waist. Slowly, silently, you slide back inside me and press your lips to mine. I taste my tangy, salty flavor on your lips, on your tongue. “I want to feel you come inside me.”

“That’s all I ever want.” You thread your fingers between mine and press my hands to the pillow over my head. I lose myself in your kisses, in the feel of your hot skin pressed against mine, in the smell of sex in the air. Our bodies respond to each other, a chemical attraction. You’re the one person in this universe meant to be mine for all eternity.

Your body quivers and I know you’re close. You thrust harder, slamming into me. I tighten around you eager to come again, to lose myself with you this time. I slide my legs down lower, wrapping them around your thighs. Your pelvis rubs against my clit with each thrust. “Merrick. Oh God. I’m going to come again.”

“Yes. With me,” you groan.

“Oh… oh!” A sob jerks from my throat as my orgasm breaks free, and I feel you begin to pulse inside me.

Your head drops to my shoulder and you rock slower, bringing us both down from bliss.

You let go of my hands and take my face between yours. “I love you.”

I kiss you desperately. “I love you, too.”

You roll us over so my head is resting on your chest, and tuck the sheet around us. I fall asleep listening to your heartbeat, a warm breeze from the window drifting over my skin, and the promise of our love etched on the beam above our heads.

It’s Friday, and other than the bump in the road with the menu, everything’s coming together as planned. Our guests arrive this evening via luxury pontoon from the mainland stocked with wine and cheese. It was Maddie’s suggestion. She really has a knack for detail.

Mr. Simcoe has traversed the island on foot and by golf cart at least one hundred times, snipping and harvesting flowers and ferns, and every beautiful green plant that grows here that I’m not able to identify, but he can. He’s sorted them into the most gorgeous arrangements I’ve ever seen. Simple and elegant. We’ve placed them in every guest room, in the lounge, and on the patio tables.

After fifty years, the happy couple will renew their vows in the bandstand gazebo tomorrow afternoon. Riley has outdone himself, hanging beautiful gossamer swags and bows along its roofline. Working as Beck’s assistant has given him the autonomy to do his best work. Joan being here stifled him, which is no surprise. Another reason I’m glad she’s gone.

“We’re about to take off,” you say, striding across the pool courtyard toward me.

I put the bottle of champagne in the small refrigerator under the pool bar. “Okay. I’m just about done taking inventory here. Jesse took the cooking liquor Carlos needed into the kitchen.”

You come up behind me and rub my shoulders. “You’re tense. Your neck is in knots.”

I let my head fall back and close my eyes, relishing your thumbs digging into my tight muscles. “I’m insanely nervous. I know it’ll work out, but I don’t think there’s a way to avoid this anxiety.”

You kiss the top of my head. “I’d love to help you relax, but I have to get out of here. Riley’s already at the dock ready to head over to the mainland.”

I turn in your arms and hold you tightly. “Be careful. I’ll see you in a few hours.”

“We’ll be back before you know it.” You brush the back of your fingers across my cheek and kiss me sweetly. “After this weekend, I’ll help you figure out this Ingrid thing. I know it means a lot to you.”

My heart swells. “You mean a lot to me.” I grab the back of your head and crush my lips to yours. “Have I told you how wonderful you are to me?”

You laugh as I kiss you again, making our lips vibrate. “I’m wonderful to you? I hope so. I try to be when I’m not being too stubborn to listen to you.”

I keep holding your head in my hands, kissing you, and after a minute or two, you groan and pull away. “I really do have to get going, but save those for me for tonight.”

“They’re all yours.” I give you one more. As you walk away, I can’t stop the foreboding feeling that’s closing my throat. “Calm down,” I whisper to myself. “You’re just nervous.”

“Don’t be nervous,” Maddie says, stepping behind the bar and smiling brightly. “We’ve got this.”

“Is MJ coming this weekend, or is he at the plantation house?”

“He was talking about meeting Merrick on the mainland and coming over on the boat, but he wasn’t sure he could make it in time. His last class doesn’t let out until three.”

“If he’s too late, Beck can always go pick him up in the helicopter.”

She nods and twists her ring. “I miss him. A lot. I can’t stand being away from him even for just the weekdays.”

“Before you know it, you’ll be living in the Weston house and married with ten kids.” I laugh, thinking about little MJs running around. Little terrors with the temperament of their dad and grandpa.

Grandpa. Jesus, Merrick could be a grandfather in a few years. If we get married… I grab a bottle of water and take a deep drink. I can’t even think about that.

Maddie laughs. “I don’t see kids in our immediate future, but we definitely want them someday.” She shakes her head, smiling like she still can’t believe she’s with MJ after being apart for so long. “Can you imagine an enormous Christmas tree in the great room at the plantation? Right in front of those floor-to-ceiling windows that face the side yard with stockings hung on that enormous marble mantel and tons of presents wrapped under the tree. The smell of baking ham filling the house, and the crackle of logs in the fireplace.”

I sigh, imagining it. “It sounds wonderful.”

“Are you and Merrick talking about marriage and kids?”

“No.” I take another sip from my water bottle. “I mean, it seems inevitable that we’ll end up getting married someday, but we’ve never talked about it. I don’t know if he wants kids.” I catch my mistake and add, “I mean, any more kids.”

“I know what you meant.” She tilts her head and gives me this look that tells me she’s about to say something that she doesn’t know how I’ll respond to.

“What?” I say.

“I just… Don’t you think it’s almost impossible for a boy who was Merrick’s age to get a girl pregnant?”

That is the thousand-dollar question that’s crossed my mind a million times. “Almost, yes, but not totally impossible. What are you thinking?”

She bites her lip. “Don’t get mad. I haven’t told MJ about this, but I called a fertility specialist and asked a few questions. The doctor I spoke to believes the odds of a boy of twelve being able to ejaculate enough sperm to impregnate a female after one time aren’t high. Not impossible, not unheard of, but not high.”

“So what are you telling me? He said it himself, Maddie, it’s not impossible or unheard of. Gina Montgomery says Merrick is MJ’s father, and look at the two of them. They look so much alike, it’s unreal.”

Maddie grasps my arm. “I know. I’m not saying MJ isn’t Merrick’s son. I’m just wondering if it really did only happen one time. That’s all. Has Merrick ever said anything to you about it?”