Take Me Always (11 page)

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Authors: Ryan Field

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cloth between his legs. He took longer with Kadin’s balls. He soaped them up, rinsed

 

them off, and kissed them a few times. Then he sucked them into his mouth and started to

 

hum. His lips were soft and his mouth was warm. The humming created a vibration that

 

made Kadin clench his fists and jerk back against the white tile. Kadin smiled. He’d been

 

married for ten years and his ex-wife had never done this to him. She’d licked his balls

 

and she’d played with them on occasion. But she’d never actually gone down on her

 

knees and worshipped them like Gregory was doing now. Only a gay man could

 

understand the pleasure this gave another man. For Kadin, it was a form of romance

 

combined with sex that could not be faked or imagined.

 

When they stepped out of the shower, Gregory pulled dry towels from a shelf and

 

got down on his knees. He dried Kadin’s feet first, and slowly worked his way up to the

 

top of his head. Later, when they were both dressed and in the kitchen, Kadin made coffee and

 

toast. He wasn’t much of a cook. The toast was burnt and the coffee was too strong. But

 

neither one was paying attention to food. Now they had to talk.

 

“When are you going back to Atlanta?” Kadin asked. His voice was soft and he

 

hesitated a few times.

 

Gregory shrugged his shoulders and stared down into his coffee cup. “I don’t

 

know. I need to be alone for a while and think things through. Everything happened so

 

fast. I wasn’t sure what to expect when I drove down here, but I knew I had to drive

 

down anyway. I’m engaged to be married. I still have a life in Atlanta.” He ran his fingers

 

through his hair and took a deep breath.

 

“I’m not giving you any pressure,” Kadin said. “But I can speak from experience.

 

Marrying a woman will never work for you. You’ll never be complete. I don’t care how

 

understanding and wonderful the woman is. I know I’d rather be alone than stuck in a

 

loveless marriage.”

 

Gregory finished his coffee in one gulp and stood from the table. “I’m going back

 

to the motel. I need some time alone. I’ll take your number and call you later.”

 

Kadin walked him to the front door and held it open, then handed him his phone

 

number. It was a cool, breezy morning and the sun was shining. It looked as if the lawn

 

and the trees had become greener in just one night. Spring happened fast in Savannah. By

 

noon it would feel like summertime. When Gregory stepped onto the front porch, he

 

turned back and gave Kadin a hug. “I’ll call you. Please be patient with me. I might not

 

call until tomorrow.” Kadin kissed him good-bye and said, “I will. I’ve been waiting for five years. A

 

few more days can’t hurt.”

 

Chapter Nine

 

When Kadin went into the nursing home sunroom the next morning, the nurse

 

was removing a tray of food from Gregory’s table. The scrambled eggs were dry and cold,

 

the grapefruit surface was glistening with dissolved sugar, and Gregory hadn’t eaten

 

anything. He sat there with his head down, staring at his legs and picking invisible pieces

 

of lint from his navy blue slacks. It was pouring outside, a heavy autumn rainfall

 

expected to last all day and into the early evening.

 

Kadin pulled out a chair and put his laptop down on the table. He smiled and said,

 

“It didn’t look like you were hungry this morning.” He could tell by the dark expression

 

on Gregory’s face that this would be one of those days when Kadin would have to work

 

extra hard to keep him alert.

 

“I’m not a breakfast person,” Gregory said, then rolled his shoulders slowly. “I’d

 

prefer just coffee. But this hotel keeps bringing me all this food every morning, and I

 

keep telling them I’m not paying for it. I just hope there are no mistakes when it’s time to

 

go home and I get the bill for all this.”

 

Kadin smiled and tapped his shoulder. “I’ll take care of everything, and I promise

 

you won’t be charged for anything you didn’t order,” he said. He was smiling because

 

Gregory never had been a breakfast person. All his life, the only thing he could ever

 

tolerate before noon was a cup of black coffee. It occurred to him that maybe the stories

 

he was telling were helping him remember. So he sat down, opened the laptop, and said,

 

“You’ll feel better after you hear what happens next.”

 

“I will?” “Yes, you will,” Kadin said. “I’m sure it’s something you never would have

 

expected.”

 

* * * *

 

After Gregory left to go back to the hotel and think about his life and the

 

important decisions he had to make, Kadin went into his office off the living room and

 

worked until mid-afternoon. It was one of those Saturdays in spring when everything

 

came to life and people felt the urge to do something outdoors. But he didn’t want to

 

leave the house in case Gregory called. He was hoping he’d call by three o’clock so they

 

could plan to go out to dinner that night, but the phone didn’t ring. By four Kadin

 

couldn’t stand it anymore and he went out for a walk near the creek. He sat on a rock for

 

a long time, pitching stones into the water while he thought about the past five years. He

 

should have gone after Gregory back then. He should have driven to Atlanta the next day

 

and told him how much he loved him.

 

At seven that night, he made a sandwich and went outside to sit on the veranda.

 

He’d just resigned himself to the fact that he probably wouldn’t hear anything from

 

Gregory until Easter Sunday morning when he heard the crackling sound of rubber

 

against gravel and saw a car coming up the driveway. He stood from his rocking chair

 

and walked to the front steps with his hands in his pockets. The huge smile on his face

 

faded when he saw it wasn’t Gregory’s blue Chrysler pulling up to the front walk. It was

 

Eddie’s huge black Hudson.

 

Eddie turned off the motor and got out of the car. He wasn’t wearing pants; just

 

an oversized white dress shirt with tails that covered his private parts, and short black pointy boots with Cuban heels. He walked slowly, with a half smile and one eyebrow

 

raised. His legs were smooth and shiny, as if he’d just lathered them with bath oil.

 

Kadin put his hands on his hips and tilted his head to the side. “Are you supposed

 

to be here tonight?” he asked. But he was only being polite. He knew Eddie wasn’t

 

supposed to be there. Kadin never forgot about plans like this, especially when it

 

involved Eddie actually coming to his home.

 

Eddie gave him a naughty smile and said, “I just thought I’d surprise you tonight.

 

I know your family is away for Easter week and I hated to think of you spending all this

 

time alone, stud. Just think of this as a visit from the Easter Bunny.” Then he laughed,

 

turned around, and bent all the way over with his legs spread wide. He wasn’t wearing

 

underwear. He flashed his naked ass in Kadin’s face and wiggled it back and forth a few

 

times.

 

“Eddie, get in the house right now,” Kadin said, “Suppose someone saw you do

 

that.” His voice was low and stern. He looked up at the light blue ceiling and closed his

 

eyes while Eddie sashayed up the steps and into the house. He shouldn’t have shown up

 

uninvited this way. It was presumptuous and it crossed the line of their agreement

 

involving casual, no-strings-attached sex. Evidently, Eddie hadn’t been paying attention.

 

Kadin knew it was time for a serious talk.

 

When he went into the house, Eddie was in the living room putting a small forty

 

five record on the hi-fi next to the fireplace. A sexy Marilyn Monroe song started to play

 

and Kadin’s heart began to beat faster. By the time he entered the living room, Eddie was

 

doing a striptease dance, unbuttoning his white dress shirt very slowly. He pulled it open

 

and let it fall from his shoulders. But he wasn’t naked. He must have slipped on a kinky pair of white lace panties while Kadin was still outside. And on his upper body, he was

 

wearing what looked like an old-fashioned corset—black leather with black leather laces,

 

contrasting the white panties. But it wasn’t exactly a corset. It laced up the front with

 

crisscrosses like a shoe, and had eyelets on both sides. It reminded Kadin of something

 

he’d seen women wear in period films.

 

Kadin spread his arms out. “What on earth are you doing?” he asked. He had to

 

almost shout because the music was so loud.

 

Eddie danced over to him and said, “I’m doing a little dance for you, and then

 

you’re going to throw me down and rip off my bodice.” With his lisped voice, it sounded

 

like he’d said, “
Bloodless
.”

 

“Your what?”

 

“My bodice,” he said in a breathy stage whisper, puckering his sexy lips and

 

shaking his head.

 

“Oh
shit
.”

 

Then Eddie smiled and ran his hands down his thin, shapely torso. “This is called

 

a bodice,” he said, referring to the corset-like top. “And you’re going to throw me down

 

like a naughty little wench, bend me over and spread my legs, and rip it off my body

 

while you ravage me, stud.” Then he kicked off the boots with the Cuban heels and went

 

down on the floor. With his back arched and his ass up high, he crawled to where Kadin

 

was standing and started licking his pant legs.

 

Kadin looked down and stared at Eddie’s hot, round ass. This was exactly the sort

 

of kinky thing he probably would have liked if Gregory hadn’t shown up at his door. But

 

it wasn’t something he ever would have planned on his own or, for that matter, asked anyone to do. Kinky sex wasn’t necessary for Kadin, but when someone with a cute little

 

body like Eddie presented it before him, he knew he wouldn’t have turned down the

 

opportunity to rip off a pair of tight lace panties and plug a soft, warm hole.

 

Kadin continued to stare, shaking his head back and forth. His penis was already

 

growing and he didn’t even
want
to get aroused. Eddie did this to him—it was purely

 

sexual and animalistic, with no romance or love whatsoever. But he also knew this desire

 

to dominate someone softer and weaker was one of his innate, fundamental flaws and he

 

didn’t want to give in to the temptation anymore. He only wanted Gregory, the love of his

 

life. This sex just for the sake of sex had to stop.

 

So he stepped back, raised his hands in the air, and said, “Eddie, we can’t do this

 

anymore. You’re going to have to put your shirt back on and go home now.” His voice

 

was kind and filled with respect. He didn’t want to degrade him in any way, because the

 

one thing he’d always appreciated about Eddie was his complete lack of inhibition about

 

sex and sexual fantasies. But he wasn’t in love with Eddie and he wanted him to leave.

 

Eddie ignored him, especially when he reached up between his legs and

 

discovered Kadin’s penis was almost fully erect. He licked the fabric of his tan slacks,

 

pressing his tongue against Kadin’s hidden erection. “It doesn’t look like you really want

 

me to leave,” Eddie said.

 

But Kadin stepped back again and said, “Stop it now, Eddie. I’m really serious. I

 

don’t want to do this anymore. Things have changed.” He was talking about Gregory, but

 

he didn’t want to go into details with Eddie. Their agreement didn’t call for personal

 

discussions. Eddie smiled and got up on his knees, totally ignoring him. The music stopped for

 

a moment before the Marilyn Monroe song started to play again. He’d left the hi-fi on so

 

the record would continue to repeat. He was still on his knees when he reached forward

 

and unzipped Kadin’s slacks as fast as he could. The tip of his erection popped out of his

 

fly and Eddie reached for it. He pulled it all the way out and wrapped his lips around the

 

head.

 

For a moment, Kadin closed his eyes and sighed. He was a sexual man. Eddie’s

 

soft lips felt so good; he liked the way he gave head. And Eddie knew how to suck hard

 

without stopping or complaining. But then Kadin lifted his hands and literally jumped

 

back. He grabbed his penis and shoved it back into his pants. “I’m fucking serious,

 

Eddie,” he shouted. “We’re not doing this now, or ever again.” Then he turned away and

 

ran his palm through his hair. “You really should have called first. I would have

 

explained everything to you then, before you went to all this trouble. We’re not going to

 

be seeing each other anymore.”

 

Eddie stared between Kadin’s legs, where his penis was betraying him. So he

 

stood up and put his arms around Kadin’s shoulders. “Just fuck me once again, stud. And

 

I’ll leave and never come back. Just one good fuck while you tear off my bodice, for old

 

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