Authors: Karen Kingsbury
“Actually, that would be good. We need to look over the reel.” Andi’s dad stood and came around the table to Bailey. “You were perfect today. Thank you, Bailey.”
“I’m just…I’m honored to be here, Mr. Ellison.”
“Okay.” He stepped back toward the group. “Go get some coffee.” He looked at Bailey’s mom. “If you could stay, that would help. We’d like to talk about Bailey’s schedule. How much you could be around if we cast her.”
Bailey wasn’t sure it was a smart idea for her and Brandon to head off to Starbucks alone. But then she reminded herself it was just a fifteen-minute break. Her mom handed her the keys to the Suburban, and Brandon walked alongside her, opening doors along the way.
When they were in her mother’s SUV, he released a long breath. “Did you feel that?”
“What?” She smiled at him. “Your crazy acting? I mean where in the world did you pull that from? You were totally scattered in the other room, and then all the sudden you were Holden Harris. I mean, as if Holden had come to life and walked right up to me.”
“You made it easy. I could imagine what it might be like, locked away from the world for so many years, and then having the door crack open the slightest bit. All because your music spoke straight to my soul.” His smile was intended to melt her heart.
But even after their brief time together, she could see through his attempts to win her over. Besides, she was in love with Cody Coleman. That simple fact helped her stay levelheaded, both then and as they headed into Starbucks together. Brandon had done nothing to disguise himself, not a hat or glasses. Nothing.
He placed his arm around her shoulders. “I like this, being
here with you in your town.” He didn’t seem to notice the way people were already staring at them.
Bailey eased out of his grasp and pointed to the menu. “You know what you want?”
“Always.” Again he didn’t take his eyes from her. He grinned, and looked at the drink board above the counter. “Oh…you mean the coffee?”
She shook her head, moved by his charm even when she didn’t want to be. Instead of waiting for him to be serious, she stepped up. “A grande latte, please. Extra hot, extra foam.”
The girl’s mouth hung open, and she blinked three times fast. Then she stepped back from the counter and grabbed the sleeve of her coworker. Without saying a word she pointed at Brandon and let out a stifled scream. “I can’t believe it.” She rushed back to the counter. “You’re Brandon Paul!”
At the sound of her cry, the coffeehouse came alive with commotion. All five workers gathered at the counter, oohing and aahing at him, and asking for his autograph. He was patient and accommodating, signing everything handed to him, and posing for several cell-phone pictures with various Starbucks staff and random customers who happened to come in.
The whole time, Brandon included Bailey in what was happening. He kept an ongoing dialogue with her, and—when he wasn’t signing or posing—he had his arm around her shoulders. Bailey was less affected by him with every passing minute. He was handsome and charming, but he had nothing on Cody. She believed that with all her heart. She could picture Cody coming by her house tonight, the two of them laughing as Bailey described her time with Brandon. His blatant flirting. But even with that knowledge, there was no way around the heady feeling she had being with him, knowing she was suddenly and certainly important to him.
As they walked out of the building back toward the Suburban,
Bailey heard the click of cameras. Two photographers had been waiting outside the building. Brandon put his arm around her and whispered close to her face. “Ignore them. If you act surprised they’ll make some story up about how we already hate each other and how the movie is doomed to failure.”
She didn’t know any better; so she nodded, intent on keeping things as cool and comfortable as they’d been all afternoon. Still it was unnerving. By the time they climbed into her mom’s SUV, the photographers probably had a hundred or more shots.
“How do you stand that?” She was breathless, like she’d just escaped someone who’d been chasing after her.
“You get used to it.” He grinned. “And you will. Once the public gets a load of you, Miss Bailey, you’ll have cameramen documenting your every outing.”
Bailey felt suddenly claustrophobic. She pushed the possibility from her mind as she got into the car. She wasn’t a movie star. She was a simple girl from Bloomington, Indiana. No one would want her picture—even after the movie came out.
But then she remembered Katy Hart Matthews, and how she’d become a focus of the paparazzi for a season. Bailey felt suddenly sick, because she hadn’t thought about that. She didn’t want to give up her privacy or have someone snap her picture everywhere she went. If she won a part on a Broadway show in New York, there would be none of that. She thought about Katy again. The paparazzi had been more interested in her because she was dating Dayne—otherwise they would’ve left her alone. So all Bailey had to do was keep clear of Brandon and the paparazzi wouldn’t care less about her. The realization brought with it a sense of relief. Brandon would have an entourage during the filming, no doubt. A girlfriend or two, bodyguards, and hordes of fans. She wouldn’t have any trouble keeping her distance.
“You’re quiet.” Brandon watched her as they drove. “Everything okay?”
“Just thinking. About the shoot, what it’ll be like. If I get the part, of course.” She smiled at him. He was a nice guy, just not the sort of guy she would ever fall for.
“First…you’ll get the part. I have no doubt. And, about the shoot, I can tell you how it’ll be.” He turned in his seat so he was facing her. “It’ll be me and you falling head over heals for each other.” He tapped the side of his head. “I know these things.”
“Oh, really?” He was crazy and way too over-the-top, but still he made Bailey laugh.
“Yes.” His confidence was as much a part of him as his smile. “I see us falling madly in love, probably on the first day of filming.”
“Is that what usually happens with you and your leading ladies?” She gave him a wary look, returning his teasing tone and refusing to take him seriously.
“I’m hurt.” His expression was familiar. The one she’d seen on the cover of magazines for the past year. “Leading ladies have never turned my head until now.”
“Mmhmm.” She flashed him a wary look. “You really are quite the actor, Brandon Paul.” They both laughed, and when they returned to the production office Bailey’s mom was beaming. She bit her lip as if to tell Bailey she couldn’t say anything yet. But the news came almost immediately anyhow.
Eleanor shook Bailey’s hand, then Brandon’s. “Congratulations. We’d like to cast the two of you as Holden and Ella in
Unlocked
.”
Brandon nodded politely and smiled at Eleanor and the guys, who had come out from behind the table to exchange congratulations with him. This wasn’t the moment to dance around and shout for joy, so Bailey followed Brandon’s lead, shaking hands and thanking the team for giving her this chance. “I won’t let you down,” she told them. “I’ll work very, very hard. I know I have a lot to learn.”
When it was okay for them to leave, Brandon walked Bailey
and her mom to the Suburban. There, he shook her mother’s hand and told her again how great it was to meet her. When her mom was in the driver’s seat, her door shut, Brandon turned to Bailey. “I forgot to ask you the most important question.”
“What’s that?” She could feel her eyes sparkling, feel herself drawn in. Not in a romantic way, but in a way that felt like she’d known him all his life. Nothing had prepared her for the charm of Brandon Paul.
“Your Facebook page says you’re single.” He cocked his head, a confident grin—the one she’d seen on TV a hundred times—spread across his face. “Is that true?”
Bailey felt her own grin fade a little and she quickly shook her head. “Not really. I mean…we haven’t exactly defined our relationship. But we will.”
“It’s the coach, right? The young guy in the pictures with you and the team?”
Bailey laughed. “That’s not the team, it’s my family. Three of my brothers are adopted from Haiti.” She lowered her chin, wanting him to see that in this matter she wasn’t teasing. “And yes, it’s the young coach. His name is Cody. We’ve…cared about each other for a long time.”
His expression didn’t change, but Brandon gave a couple slow nods of his head. “Well, then…looks like I’ve got a little competition.” He stepped close and—with practiced skill that took Bailey’s breath away—he pulled her into a lingering hug. “Looking forward to working with you, Miss Bailey.”
She gently pushed back, putting distance between them again. This wasn’t the time to chastise him or stand up for Cody. He was probably only teasing anyway. “Yes, Brandon.” She braced herself against the Suburban door. “I’m sure it’ll be quite an experience.”
On the way home, Bailey told her mother everything, about how Brandon had acted when they were alone before the screen test and how he’d been relentlessly flirty the whole time at Starbucks.
“I know he doesn’t really have a thing for me, but wow…I’ve never been around someone like him.”
Her mom didn’t say anything, only gave her a side glance that said she wasn’t so sure Bailey was right about Brandon.
“Seriously, Mom, he was just playing around.” She pulled her phone from her purse. “Besides, I told him about Cody. Speaking of which…” she checked if there were any messages from him, but again there were none. “I thought he’d call. He knew I’d be done by now.”
Her mother was quiet again. She waited until the next stoplight before turning to Bailey. “Maybe Cody doesn’t know what to make of all this. I mean the idea that you were auditioning with Brandon Paul. It’s a lot to deal with.”
“Not for Cody.” It was easier to think clearly now that Brandon wasn’t with them. “Nothing could change how I feel about him.”
“I wonder if he knows that.”
Bailey felt frustrated by her mom’s doubts. Cody should certainly know by now how she felt. But then…he hadn’t asked her to be his girlfriend. So she hadn’t really had the chance to share exactly how she felt. She called him, but again his phone went to voicemail.
“Cody, it’s me…the audition was so great.” She tried to sound as excited as she’d felt ten minutes ago, but her tone fell flat. “They asked me to take the part of Ella, so…yeah, looks like I’ll be doing the movie.” She paused, not sure what to say. “Remember what you said about God having a plan after the Broadway audition?” She hesitated. “You were right. Call me back, okay?”
The rest of the night passed in a blur. Her dad brought home pizza and her brothers kept asking her to repeat the details of the audition. But through it all, Bailey was aware of one very strange fact. Cody didn’t call, didn’t text. If she didn’t know better, she would’ve thought he’d been in an accident or fallen into a coma.
Because the Cody she knew would never have ignored a moment this big in her life. He would’ve been here. Which told her more than his words had told her all week. Something was wrong, and it was up to her to find out what. Even if it meant putting aside her own celebration to do so. So that night as she fell asleep she didn’t relive her audition or any aspect of her time with Brandon Paul. She did the only thing she could possibly do.
She slipped out of bed, fell softly onto her knees, and she prayed for Cody Coleman.
T
HE DRIVE TO
I
NDIANAPOLIS GAVE
C
ODY
time to think.
He couldn’t ignore Bailey’s calls forever, but maybe he could put off talking with her about his mother. Especially now that she’d won the lead in
Unlocked.
The movie was bound to make her busier than ever, her attention split between her classes and filming and time with her family. She would hardly have time to notice how he’d eased back, slipped out of her life again the way he always did. The way he always had to do.
The distance was only temporary, after all. Until the police caught up with Benny Dirk. Twice yesterday, Cody could’ve sworn he was being followed by a red Honda. But both times the car was gone before he could catch a license plate number or call the police. Either way, sooner or later the guy would make a wrong move and he’d be arrested. Then Cody would be at Bailey’s side in the time it took to get to her house. Maybe faster.
He checked his rearview mirror. No red cars. He exhaled and focused on the freeway ahead. He was halfway to the prison now, a bag of his mother’s belongings and special books in the backseat of his truck. This Saturday morning the rain was coming down in sheets, but Cody found the storm strangely comforting. It fit his mood. Because he missed Bailey so much, he could barely function. He narrowed his eyes, trying to see the road through the downpour. But instead of the pavement, all he could see was the scene from last night: the football game at Clear Creek High.
It was the team’s second home contest, and after soundly beating the visitors, Clear Creek was undefeated in six straight
games. Coach Taylor pulled him aside after the clock ran out and patted his shoulder. “You’re good, kid. This is your gift. Don’t ever stop coaching.”
“Yes, sir.” He found a smile. “I’m learning from the best, sir.”
Cody blinked, and the freeway came into view again. He had pictured himself becoming a head coach one day, maybe working with a college team or the pros like Bailey’s father. But now, with his mother in prison…nothing felt certain anymore. He wasn’t even sure he should be here with the kids of Clear Creek. What if Benny Dirk was in the bleachers somewhere, waiting for a chance to pick him off? It was possible, right? No, nothing felt certain. Not even his relationship with Bailey.
Yesterday things had felt strained with her. Of course, he was more worried about whether Benny was lurking somewhere outside the stadium. He refused to put her in danger, but he wasn’t ready to tell her about his mother. Not yet—and certainly not at the Clear Creek football stadium. They needed privacy, and so as long as Benny was at large, he had to keep his distance and hope that someday she’d understand.
Rain pounded his truck, and he remembered how it felt seeing her last night, how good it felt to hold her in his arms even for a few seconds. The stadium had been loud and chaotic. In the stands the band was still playing the Clear Creek fight song. Definitely not the place to tell Bailey what had happened since the last time they were together .
“Cody…were you leaving?”
“I didn’t see you.” It wasn’t a lie. He hadn’t looked. It was enough that she stayed with him in his mind and soul, without searching the bleachers for her throughout the game. He ached to take her hand and head back to the Flanigan house, but he couldn’t…would never dream of putting her in danger. Instead he wished there was a way to turn back the clock and forbid his mother to even spend a single moment with a guy like Benny.
But no amount of wishing could undo what had happened. He hugged her, because he couldn’t look into her eyes another moment. “I’m sorry…” he held on, struggling with his emotions.
If things were different, if he weren’t in love with her, he would’ve told Bailey everything. Because as much as she had stolen his heart, she was also his best friend. And he would tell her, someday. The police were bound to catch the drug dealer soon, right?
She pushed back first. Not rudely, but with a frustration he rarely saw in her. “Something’s wrong…why won’t you tell me?”
“I’ve been busy, that’s all.” He remembered to smile. “You, too.” It took effort to make her hear him above the noise around them. “We won. Your brothers played great.”
“Stop.” This time anger flashed in her eyes. “I’ve been calling and texting and praying for you constantly, and you haven’t tried once—not once—to reach me.” She was talking loud, above the noise, and Cody had a feeling that would’ve been the case even if they were standing in complete silence. “So what’s wrong? Is it me?” She slipped her hands into the pockets of her sweatshirt jacket. “Did I do something?”
“Of course not.” The last thing he wanted was for her to feel that his distance was her fault. How could he make her understand he was only acting out of love for her—that he would go to his grave loving her, but he couldn’t possibly get her mixed up in his life now. Not when she might be in danger just being with him. He put his hand on her shoulder. “It isn’t you, it’s me. My mom’s…she’s sick. I’ve been spending time with her. That and school…it’s a crazy time, that’s all.”
She twisted her face, as if he were speaking a foreign language. “She’s sick? I mean, Cody, what is this?” She tossed her hands, frustrated tears in her eyes. “Is she using…is that the problem?”
“She’s not using, no.” It was the truth. In prison she had no
other option but to stay clean. He took Bailey’s hands in his, and it took everything not to run with her, fast and far away from Bloomington and Benny Dirk and the new reality that was his life. “We’ll talk more later. I promise.” He allowed himself to look deep into her eyes just this once. “Please understand. This isn’t about you.”
“I miss you.” She looked hurt. “I think about you all the time.”
“Me, too.” If she only knew how much. “Listen…” he ran his thumbs over her hands, wishing they had more time. “Let’s get through the next six weeks. Classes and your movie…we’ll see each other when we can.” He hugged her once more. “This crazy time won’t last…I promise.”
“Then come over. It’s Friday night.” She looked up at him, and the frustration in her eyes was replaced by a belief in him. “Can’t you do that?”
If she asked again, he’d find a way to say yes. Benny Dirk hadn’t been around, anyway, so why was he so worried? But as soon as the thought came to him, he could hear the officer’s voice.
The guy’s trouble…he’s tried to kill before…
He steeled himself against every desire of his heart. “Not tonight.” He kissed her forehead. “Soon, okay?”
Her eyes clouded and she stepped back. “Call me, then? When you get home?”
“I will.” He wanted to hug her one more time, but she held his eyes for only a few seconds longer and then turned away. She hurried over to her brothers and this time she didn’t look back.
I hate this, God…help me find a way to tell her…to include her in my life without putting her at risk.
He’d do anything for her, even if she couldn’t see that right now. He reminded himself of that as he drove home from the game alone, and later that night when they talked for half an hour on the phone. The conversation was wonderful, the closest he’d felt to her since his mother’s arrest. She told him about Brandon Paul’s relentless flirting, and
how Katy and Dayne had advised her not to be seen with him in public.
“Have you seen the tabloids?”
“No.” Cody never looked at them, but he made a mental note to check out the magazines in the next day or so. “Bunch of lies, huh?”
“It’s terrible.” Righteous anger filled her voice. “They already have us in some steamy affair.”
Cody felt a twinge of jealousy, but he let it pass. “They don’t know you, Bailey. That’s all.”
She talked a little more about Brandon, how hard the guy worked to keep up a happy front. “He’s hurting inside. That’s what I think,” her voice was soft again, the Bailey he knew and loved. “I keep praying I’ll have a chance to tell him about God.”
Every minute, every word they shared over the phone reminded him how much he missed her, how he needed a solution to the madness that had become his life. And now, as he pulled into the Indiana Women’s Prison, he felt his anger building over the situation. The police better catch Benny Dirk soon, because Cody couldn’t keep up this charade for long. The dreams of war came more often now, the daytime flashbacks a frequent reminder that maybe he hadn’t resolved the trauma from his time in Iraq. Maybe his love for Bailey had allowed him to ignore the post-traumatic stress disorder other soldiers struggled with. Or maybe not.
Maybe he simply missed Bailey so much he was losing his mind.
A
NDI HAD BEEN WRESTLING WITH HER FEELINGS
ever since the ultrasound. Every day she’d head out for class, and when she came home—instead of lying down for a nap the way she’d done
in the earlier weeks of her pregnancy—she’d lie on her bed and stare at her baby’s pictures.
Her very own baby boy.
Each day that passed she could feel herself becoming more attached. She came to know his sleep cycles; when he would rest peacefully within her and when he wanted to play. He would take little jabs at her ribs, and if she put her hand on her stomach, he would respond by pushing against her. Now, as she got ready for a movie night with her parents, she couldn’t go another minute without telling them what she was thinking.
She found them in the kitchen, making spaghetti for dinner. “Hey.” She sat on one of the wobbly kitchen barstools and leaned on the counter. “Do you guys have a minute?”
Her dad was browning beef in a skillet, but at the sound of her voice he turned down the heat and faced her. “Sounds serious.”
“It is.” Andi could barely concentrate. And even though it was impossible, she could hear her baby’s heartbeat inside her, filling her senses, confirming the decision that had finally come to light in her heart today.
Her mom came closer and spread her hands on the counter between them. “You’re not sick?”
“No.” Andi smiled. Below the counter where her parents couldn’t see, she kept her hand on her stomach, feeling the way her baby was moving around, cheering her on with this decision. “I’m fine. At least, I feel fine.”
Her parents waited, watching her.
Andi drew a long breath. “I’ve been thinking about the baby, about my decision to give him up.”
Something in her mom’s expression changed when Andi used the word
him
. She had a feeling her mother knew what was coming. Now that she had found her way back to God and she was living with them, Andi and her mom were close the way they
once were. She and her dad too. Especially since their talk on the Indiana University campus that day.
“What I’m trying to say is…I don’t think I can do it.”
Her dad took a step closer. His eyes were filled with love and understanding. “The adoption?”
“Right.” She felt so scared, so unsure of knowing the right thing. “I mean, after I saw the pictures, I felt like I knew him.”
Her mom’s eyes filled with tears. “So you’re saying…”
“I’d like to keep him. I really would.” She needed her parents’ complete support, so the next few minutes were crucial. If they were opposed to the idea, she’d have to rethink whether this was really the way God was leading her. She bit her lip. “I’ve been praying about it every day.”
Her dad came around the counter and hugged her. “Your mother and I have talked about this, how we would respond if you changed your mind.” He ran his hand along her back. “If that’s how you feel, we’ll do everything we can to support you—to be here for you and the baby.”
Her mom joined them, forming a cluster of love and pain and uncertainty. “He looks so much like you, honey.” There were tears in her mother’s voice. “I can’t imagine finding the strength to give him away.”
“So, then…” She leaned back enough to see her parents’ faces. “You’re okay with this? You don’t think I have to go through with the adoption?”
“Giving a baby up is something you have to be absolutely sure about.” Her dad, too, seemed on the verge of tears. But his face held no sorrow. “We’ll love this baby alongside you, and together we’ll all get through it. If God wants you to keep him, then He’ll will work out the plans He has for both of you.”
Andi nodded, and for the first time since she’d found out she was pregnant, she allowed herself to accept the possibility that she could keep the baby. She was about to be a mother! She was
carrying a beautiful little boy, and come January she would give birth and start the lifelong job of raising him and loving him and giving him a wonderful home.
She thanked her parents and hugged them, and they shared a happy night of dinner and watching one of their favorite Kate Hudson movies,
Raising Helen
. Andi wiped away tears at the end, when the two sisters find common ground and are able to reach an understanding. When the movie was over, she kissed her parents goodnight and returned to her bedroom where—like she did every night—she pulled out the pictures of her unborn son and studied them, staring for a long time into his perfect face.
She’d made up her mind, and she had the full support of her parents. She was keeping her baby! She set the photos back in their folder and put the folder on her nightstand once again. Everything had gone exactly how she’d hoped it would go, and now she could let the agency know she’d changed her mind. Then she could get on with figuring out how to be a single mom.
Single mom.
The term felt like gravel in her mouth. This wasn’t how she wanted to start out, and it wouldn’t be the perfect beginning for her son. But it was where her prayers had led her and so it had to be the right decision. It had to be. She tossed onto one side and turned onto the other, wrestling with her pillow and trying to feel sleepy enough to drift off. But she kept thinking about the words she’d only just now thought about for the first time.
Single mom…
Would she be strong enough? Would she be good at it? Could she ever make a living for her son without her parents’ help?
One question after another hit her, and with each she found a quick and easy answer. Of course she was strong enough; and she would definitely be good at it, because she would learn. Just like any other mother. But there was one question that plagued her long after she turned her light on again and read her Bible, and even after she finally felt tired enough to try to sleep once more.
The question was this: If she was making the right decision, why all the anxiety?