Take a Chance (18 page)

Susan, not Steve, and a good thing, since she
didn’t have any idea what she’d say to him. She’d been a sobbing
bitch and he hadn’t deserved her hysterics.

“
Hi, Susan. How are you
doing?”

“
I’m okay. I was hoping we
could get together, maybe have dinner? If you already have plans,
don’t change them for me.”

She sighed. “I would love to have dinner
tonight. Where?”

Susan suggested one of their favorite
restaurants and Dena grabbed her purse. If she sat at her desk one
more minute, she’d be on the phone with Steve. She owed him an
apology and when she had the right words fixed in her head, she’d
call him. Until then, she’d wait and avoid as much as she could.
The word coward would be permanently embedded in her forehead soon
enough.

Susan was at a table when Dena entered the
restaurant, two glasses of wine and a pile of breadsticks waiting
in the middle of the table. Her friend stood and they hugged,
clinging to each other for a minute before sagging into their
seats.

“
I ordered for you. Hope you
don’t mind,” Susan said with a nod to the wine.

They both lifted a glass and sipped and Susan
said, “You look tired. What’s going on?”

“
Too much to talk
about.”

The waiter arrived, rattling on about the
specials, and Dena tried to avoid her friend’s stare. As soon as he
walked away, Susan jumped in. “Talk to me, Dena. What
happened?"

“
I went ballistic with
Steve. I haven't seen him in a while.”

“
Oh, honey, no. What did you
say? Or what did you do?”

Her face got hot, embarrassment taking a
front seat to her confession. “I compared him to the man that
killed Sara.”

Susan leaned back in her chair, the wine
glass wobbling on the table. “No. I don’t know your Steve that
well, but I can’t imagine him hurting you like that. Not after the
way he helped me with Sara.”

“
They’re members of the same
club.”

Susan kept shaking her head. “That doesn’t
matter. They’re two different people.”

Their salads arrived and she unrolled her
napkin, hoping Susan would let the topic drop while they ate.

Picking at her salad, she asked, “How are
your parents?”

“
Fine, I guess. As well as
can be expected,” Susan said, her expression neutral, but it was
clear from the set of her brow that she had something to
say.

Dena took a bite and waited.

“
I’ve been doing research
about men who hurt women.”

The long pause had Dena curious. Susan wasn’t
one to mince words in any situation.

“
I also looked into the BDSM
culture. Everything I read focused on consent issues and safe play.
The few mentions about violence were warnings to stay away from
anyone unwilling to use safe words and contracts.”

Dena put her fork down and leaned in to the
table. “Would you date someone who wanted to tie you to the
bed?”

“
I don’t know. Maybe.” She
took another bite of salad, her eyes still matching Dena’s, and
swallowed with a smile. “If he was a sweetheart like Steve, I’d say
yes.” Susan laughed.

“
What’s so
funny?”

“
You are. Your face looked
like you might scratch my eyes out if I tried to get close to your
boyfriend.”

“
It did not.”

Susan pushed her salad around with her fork,
her gaze on the food when she said, “Dena, did he talk about
safety?”

“
Yes.”

“
Did you have a safe
word?”

“
Yes.”

When Susan finally met her gaze, she prepared
herself for a hard question, but she was surprised by what her
friend asked. “Did he ever treat you badly?”

“
No.” Oh, shit. She’d never
considered the good times they’d shared or the tenderness he’d
shown her, only thought about what might happen, what the worst
case scenario might be. “He didn’t get mad when I asked him to
leave. How did I miss the way he let me push him away?”

Their soups arrived and Dena felt like a
complete idiot. “I owe him an apology, don’t I?”

“
If you want to keep him
around, yes.”

A chill crept into her chest at the thought
of never seeing him again, but she still had questions about their
relationship. “I don’t know, Susan. Lately, I’ve been wondering if
I’m attracted to him or to his lifestyle.”

Oh, lord, why had she said that? Susan’s
eyebrows were almost in her hairline, her eyes wide and wildly
curious.

“
Don’t even think about not
telling me everything, Dena. Everything.”

More wine went down her throat while she
looked for a way to explain what Steve did to her without making it
sound like an x-rated movie. Damn her mouth for taking the lead in
this conversation without consulting her brain. Too late now.

“
He’s dominant.”

“
I get that. Tell me
more.”

“
He knows what he’s doing.”
An eye roll worthy of a recalcitrant teenager spoke volumes. With a
sigh, she whispered, “He made me come until I thought I’d pass
out.”

Susan grinned. “Does he have any single
friends?”

“
Susan.” Another sip of wine
helped. “Okay, here’s the thing. I’m not sure if I want to see him
because he ties me to the bed and makes me…you know…” She waved the
wine glass around in front of her. “Or because I care about him as
a person.”

“
Have you been with him when
you weren’t having sex? Wait, I can answer for you. You were with
him when he helped me find out about Sara. He was wonderful to both
of us that day.”

“
True.”

“
Did he tie you up and do
you when you got home?”

Dena rolled her lips over her teeth and gave
serious thought to ordering more wine. “No.”

“
Did he stay with you that
night?”

She shook her head, afraid to open her mouth,
but she knew exactly where her friend’s line of questions was
leading and she didn’t want to answer anymore.

“
Have you ever had plain old
sex with him?”

Chapter 20

The question stopped her on a dime. “We…I
mean…”

“
Maybe you should find out?
I’d hate to see you dump a guy as sweet as Steve because you
wouldn’t take a chance on loving him. Life is too short to let fear
make you wait for the perfect man. No one is perfect.”

Dena jerked in her seat when a man stopped
next to their table, her heart pounding with the realization Susan
had given her.

“
Can I get you ladies
anything?” the waiter asked. “Another glass of wine?”

She shook her head. “No, thank you. I think
I’ve had enough.” He walked away with a smile and a nod, and when
she looked back at her friend, she saw the same gesture.

“
Thank you,” she said,
reaching out to grab Susan’s hand. “I needed to hear
that.”

“
So what are you going to do
about it?”

She broke a breadstick and took a bite,
postponing her capitulation, but Susan was right. She needed to
know more about Steve before she walked away completely. “I have no
idea.”

“
Would you like a
suggestion?”

An hour later, she parked in front of Steve’s
house and prayed he was home and alone. After pushing him away for
the last two weeks, he might’ve decided to move on with his love
life. If so, it would hurt like hell, but she couldn’t really blame
him.

She hit the doorbell and waited.

Nothing, and there were no uncovered windows,
so she couldn’t tell if anyone was home. She was digging in her
purse for her cell when the door opened.

Holy shit. Steve, in all his glory, stood in
the open doorway with a towel around his waist and another working
over his chest. A knife-like thought crossed her mind, wondering if
he was post coitus.

“
Dena. I wasn’t expecting
you. Come in.” He backed up and she stepped across the threshold,
relaxing a little. Surely, he wouldn’t invite her in if he had
another woman in his bed.

“
I should’ve called. I’m
sorry. I just…”

His arms wrapped around her and brought her
in contact with his damp chest, a few stray droplets clinging to
the curly hair. His mouth slanted over hers in a kiss designed to
make her wobble, which she did without thinking about it. This was
what he did to her every time he touched her. It was the next part
that confused her.

For the moment, she enjoyed the feel of being
in his arms and having his tongue invade her mouth.

“
I’ve missed you, Dena. I’m
glad you came tonight. I was getting ready to drive over to your
place and sit in your driveway until you let me inside.”

“
I’m trying to figure out
what’s going on between us.”

“
Okay, how can I
help?”

She looked into his face, noting the concern
in his expression, and said, “Will you make love to me tonight
without any ropes or toys or scarves?”

His eyes darkened and those broad shoulders
she loved tensed. “Of course, baby. I’ll do whatever makes you
happy.”

She stepped back from his body and grabbed
hold of the towel where it overlapped and crossed his tight abs,
and then turned toward the hall.

“
Now?”

She tugged and he followed, the husky rumble
of his chuckle settled in her chest and breathed life into her body
once more. She’d missed this, the closeness and the desire that
flowed between their bodies.

She let go of him when they crossed into his
bedroom and pulled her top over her head. He came up to her and
released the catch on her bra, the tent under his towel growing and
pressing into her butt. His hands cupped her hipbones, his mouth
wet and hot on the bare skin under her earlobe.

The caress sent shivers down her spine and
reminded her body of what it had missed for the last ten days. The
resonant happy dance under her skin woke her libido and started a
waterfall effect. Desire pulsed fast and hard.

He turned her in his arms and took her face
in his hands. Another scorching kiss shook her knees and she
slipped her hands between the towel and his ass. The added pressure
loosened the knot and it fell to the floor.

“
No hurry, doll. We have all
night.”

She pressed a kiss to his chest and stepped
away to shuck her slacks and panties. His hum of appreciation
caused hot chill bumps to form all over her, or maybe that was from
the texture of his hands on her skin.

She wanted him. Now.

His heat surrounded her as she backed him
toward the bed and tipped him onto the neatly made king-sized bed.
She crawled up beside him and they scooted to the middle.

When she straddled him, Steve grabbed her
hips. “Dena, baby, stop and talk to me. Don’t get me wrong. I want
you, but I need to know what’s going on here.”

“
I’m trying to figure it
out.”

“
So you’re here to molest me
without toys or ropes? I get it, but talk to me. What’s in your
head right now?”

“
Can I explain when we’re
finished?”

He went still under her, the tense bands of
his abdomen against her thighs and rear turning to steel.

“
Are we talking about after
sex is finished or after we are finished? Big difference there,
Dena.”

She held her breath and he let his out.

“
If it’s the latter, sex
isn’t going to happen tonight. Talk to me, Dena. I need to hear
what you’re feeling, baby.”

Eyebrows drawn tight over the long bone of
his nose, he wasn’t budging until she told him what she wanted to
discover with this little exercise. Damn. She might as well spill
and take a chance on him skewing the outcome.

Take a chance.

Fine. She’d follow Susan’s advice, again.

Sliding off his body, she sat crisscross on
the bed next to him. Steve pulled a couple of pillows under his
head and tugged until she lay beside him, face to face and in his
arms.

“
I’m trying to figure out
what this is between us.”

Those blue eyes of his turned cloudy and half
closed. “I know I’m in love with you, but I gather you’re not sure
about your feelings.”

She closed her eyes for a minute, gathering
her thoughts before answering. “I don’t know. I mean, I know what I
feel, but I don’t know if I’m drawn to you because of the toys and
the dominance or because of you.”

“
Dena, you know the
dominance is part of who I am. I can’t change that.” He lifted a
lock of hair from where it lay across her face and tucked it behind
her ear. “I don’t want to lose you, but I can’t change who I am and
I wouldn’t try to change who you are.”

“
I know, but sometimes I
don’t know who I am.”

He nodded and kissed her with a gentle mouth,
tenderness in his touch. “What do you need me to do to help you
figure it out?”

“
Have sex with me, but
without the dominance.”

He answered with a quick shake of his head.
“I won’t have sex with you, baby. But I’ll try to keep the
dominance to a minimum while we make love.”

Pressure in her chest caused moisture to
collect and she blinked several times, hoping he wouldn’t notice.
He leaned close and kissed the tears away, forcing her to give up
the pretense.

A relief, really.

His mouth moved lower and took hers with a
passion she’d yearned for during their separation. Hands moved over
her body, the caress of roughened skin cupping her breast, a thumb
rubbing against the sensitive nub of her nipple, made her moan.